Road Trip

I had the most terrific road trip!

Mike drove us to Dallas from Lubbock (that's where he is staying at right now coz his college is here) to visit his family, and it is a 5 hour drive!

It is funny isn't it? I mean, Americans are supposed to be lazy and fat and Singaporeans skinny and hardworking, but Americans can drive on for 10 hours to go to a destination, but Singaporeans?

NONE OF THEM WOULD SEND ME HOME TO TEBAN GARDENS.

Jesus. How far can Teban Gardens be from anywhere? Like 40 mins at most from Pasir Ris? No one stays in Pasir Ris anyway, so that's irrelevant.

20 mins from town, and people with cars whine and whine about how far it is.

Sigh.

Teban Gardens is near ok, I have learnt that the hard way.

I think I will date only people who live in places where buildings are sparse from now on.

Think about it, if Mike will drive 15 mins to get to Walmart for a shampoo, then in all likelihood he would send me home all the time if he stays in Singapore. Isn't that great? Heehee.

Back to that road trip.

Man, it was so exciting!

Before we got on the trip I was asking Mike in a disgusting act-cute voice if we will be able to see rainbows on our way there.

You see, rainbows are very useful. Not only are they very pretty, but the inbred monsters I mentioned in the earlier posts (these monsters jump up at stranded road trippers and eat them) also hate rainbows, so they will tend not to attack when they see something so pretty in the sky.

I imagine this...

Inbred cannibal 1: "Grunt grunt Grog feel hungry now, Grog want food!"

Cannibals 2,3 and 4: "YES YES WE NEED FOOD. Want to eat human."

Grog: "Car... Green car passing... EAT THEM my nephew/son."

Nephew/son: "GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look, father/sister-fucker, sky, sky is disgusting!"

Grog: "RAINBOW!!! TOO PRETTY, NO! Don't look at it, hide!"

*Cannibals hide till rainbow gets away*

See, rainbows are good.

So anyway, I like to rain questions on Mike, stupid questions like, "Will we see a rainbow/raccoon/ponies/cows/hail/tornados?" and typically he would smile and say "Maybe..."

What I didn't know, is that I have the magical power to make all the things I wanna happen happen.

First, we went past rolling meadows... with cows and horses on them.

Then after that, Mike nudged me on the knee, and said, "Look, a rainbow!"

I looked around frantically and caught a wisp of a weak ray.

"Yay! A rainbow! But it looks so weak!"

Mike peeked out of the window and said, "Yeah, isn't it? Maybe it will be stronger in a bit."

We continued laughing at it for a bit, insulting it's lacklustre colour.

I think out of spite, it shone a bit stronger.

After that we looked on the right of the car, and I told Mike that we can see the other end of the rainbow too!

And it became this:

SO PRETTY!

Imagine, we were driving along a road which stretches to the horizon, and so are the flat fields at our right and left.

The rainbow goes from one side to the other, completely unobstructed by any buildings of any kind, and it was like we were driving right under it!

I know I am making a big fuss over a mere rainbow, but I really don't see any in Singapore! In my whole life I have seen like maybe 7 rainbows altogether, and they are mostly small, weak, and obstructed.

See, even men like it. :D

Fills me with a warm fuzzy feeling when I look at it.... Mmmmm...

And look carefully!

It's not one rainbow!

I am one happy girl.

We oogled at it for a while, and I had time to name it Rainbow Michelle, and then it disappeared.

We then moved into the rain which caused Michelle to form, and GOOD LORD!

It is not rain!

IT IS HAIL!

Small pieces of hard ice the size of a M&M peppered down on the windscreen and melted away.

Only lasted for like 10 seconds though. But wow, I saw hail! I have never seen snow before, and I jumped straight to hail. :D

Yes, I know hail isn't supposed to be good, but neither is a tornado, and you know you wanna see it. Well, those of you who have not seen it before, anyway.

After that, we hit nightfall, and I think we really unappreciate the beauty of stars in Singapore.

Singapore's stars SUCK coz we are like the most light polluted country in the world or something like that. What do we see when we look up? We see like 9 stars or something, and some are not even stars; they are satellites.

So Mike parked the car to the side, and we came out to look at the stars, and we were met with a pleasant surprise!

FIREFLIES!

I got out, saw the field ahead of me sparkling, and was speechless for a while before I said, "OMG COME LOOK AT THIS!"

A field filled with MILLIONS of fireflies all trying to outshine each other.

(To which Mike responded "Wooh, lightning bugs!". Lightning bugs! Sounds so cute.)

It is like nothing I have ever seen before... the ground was sparkling, and the sky is sparkling. :D

We both went back to the car smiling after a while of cuddling, and I said, "I wonder why when you face beautiful things like these you feel like you love people more? Did you feel like you loved me more?"

And Mike said yes, laughing.

"I think that's how nature makes us have sex, I think," I said. Haha. Food for thought.

On the way back to Lubbock we were met with a fucking scary storm though. I think it must have been a mini tornado.

The lightning bolts across the sky in a horrid nonchalant manner, and the wind was so huge it blew the car off course.

We could only see like 2 metres of road ahead of us due to the rain.

It was damn scary, coz we were in the middle of nowhere and had to drive for 30 minutes in that condition before we could stop for shelter at a gas station (which was closed).

Mike had to take a piss and he said the pee came out in a wavering 45 degrees angle because of the strong wind whahahahaha.

Alright, I think I will be more careful when I wish for weather conditions in future.

I can't believe I blogged a whole entry about WEATHER.

THE ANTI-CROSSOVER (05/31/06)

I can't tell you how excited I was to hear the line-up of guests for 'Jimmy Kimmel Live!' later in the night of the season finale for 'Lost':

Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Wednesday, May. 24: Actor/director Jon Favreau, Bass Champion Mike Iaconelli, Hugh McIntyre from the HANSO Foundation. Bus Stop Giveaway: New York City

What a great crossover idea for both shows! It would rank right up there with the appearances of 'The Tonight Show' on 'Here's Lucy' and 'Cheers' and 'Seinfeld'.

And they played it straight - Hugh McIntyre "truthfully" answered all of Jimmy's questions regarding the Hanso Foundation and there was no hint that it was supposed to be any kind of a spoof.

Buit they kept talking about 'Lost' as a TV show which was mocking the foundation; with its own fictional variant on the "work" being done by the scientists who were funded by Alvar Hanso.

So this put 'Jimmy Kimmel Live!' into yet another TV dimension, separate from the main Toobworld; one where 'Lost' is just a TV show just like it is for us here in the Real World.

I suppose this new version of 'Jimmy Kimmel Live!' could be set in the same theory-busting dimension where 'Hi Honey I'm Home!' takes place. In that short-lived sitcom from Nick @ Nite, characters from actual old TV show classics (Grandpa Munster, Alice Kramden, Gomer Pyle, etc.) crossed over from the TV Universe into the "Real World".

But it couldn't be the Real World since we were watching the show ourselves.

Unless..... maybe we aren't living in the Real World either......

Warning: 'Hi Honey I'm Home' may cause headaches, migraines, agita, and physical violence. If you are a televisiologist who is pregnant, or a televisiologist who is even thinking about becoming pregnant, you should not watch 'Hi Honey I'm Home' as it may cause complications.

And the worst part of it all is that you don't even get the benefit of a four hour erection from watching it.......

BCialis!
Er.....
BCnU!
Tele-Toby

CROSSOVER OF THE WEEK (5/31/06)

THIS WEEK'S CROSSOVER WAS CAUSED BY:

'THE JAKE EFFECT'

In order to promote the online presence of "Brilliant But Cancelled", BRAVO presented a marathon of 'The Jake Effect. At least seven episodes of the sitcom were allegedly produced, but the NBC owned BRAVO only showed the first six. (Someday I'll have to track down the episode "The Intervention" so my 'Jake Effect' viewing experience will be complete.)

Now that the show has aired, the Chicago-based sitcom has become part of Toobworld.

'The Jake Effect' was about an idealistic lawyer who chucked it all to become a high school history teacher. But Jake Galvin still took advantage of the perks which his former life provided him.

This included accepting favors from former clients whom he got off the hook. One of these clients was a home securities expert who liked to use the properties of his own (unsuspecting) clients when they were conveniently out of town. So when he was finally caught doing this, Jake's skills led to a "not guilty" verdict, and he was so grateful, that he made sure Jake and his friend Nick Case would get a chance to try out these celebrities' homes.

The episode gave us as examples the adventures of Nick and Jake in the homes of Mike Ditka, Oprah Winfrey, and the Big Man of Chicago himself, Michael Jordan.

At Mike Ditka's, Nick took a fancy bubble bath, while Jake availed himself of the Coach's personal electric toothbrush.

At Oprah's mansion, they enjoyed a Steve Guttenberg film festival in her private screening room.

And finally, at Chez Air Jordan, Jake and Nick brought along one of Jake's fellow teachers and a potential love interest to boot, Liza. And they used the mansion as a place for two of their students to work out their mutual hostilities.

Now, we never got the chance to see the actual televersions of Ditka, Oprah, and the King of Jordans, but we did get to go inside the palatial estates where they lived.

And that's good enough with old Dinsey......

Aside from his own eponymous series back in 1982, Mike Ditka has appeared in such shows as:

"According to Jim"
- Cars & Chicks (2002) TV Episode .... Himself
"Becker"
- The Trouble with Harry (2001) TV Episode .... Himself
"3rd Rock from the Sun"
- Fourth and Dick (1996) TV Episode .... Himself
"Coach"
- A Player to Be Named Later (1996) TV Episode .... Himself
"Cheers"
- One for the Road (1993) TV Episode .... Himself
"L.A. Law"
- The Last Gasp (1990) TV Episode .... Himself

And the Coach also showed up in two made-for-TV movies, "Second String" (2002) and "A Night To Die For" (1995) as himself.

In addition, Mike Ditka was practically a god-like cult figure to several fans of "Da Bears" in the TV dimension of Skitlandia, thanks to several classic sketches on 'Saturday Night Live'.

The bazillionaire talk show goddess Oprah Winfrey also has her own series and has hosted many TV specials, including the recent "Legends Ball". But her televersion has also made herself at home in the following sitcoms:

"Bette"
- Two Days at a Time (2000) TV Episode .... Herself
"The Hughleys"
- Milsap Moves Up (1999) TV Episode .... Herself
"Home Improvement"
- Home Alone (1999) TV Episode .... Herself
"All-American Girl"
- A Night at the Oprah (1995) TV Episode .... Herself
"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
- A Night at the Oprah (1992) TV Episode .... Herself

As well as in a drama series:

"Gabriel's Fire"
- Tis the Season (1990) TV Episode .... Herself

Surprisingly, the Big Man of Basketball doesn't have much in the way of credits for his televersion:

"My Wife and Kids"
- Fantasy Camp: Parts 1 & 2 (2004) TV Episode .... Himself

That's it.

But, he does have an impressive run of appearances in blipverts for Haines underwear which carry as much weight as TV shows and tele-flicks. In these, he hangs around with celebrities like Matthew Perry, Kevin Bacon, and Jackie Chan. But he also finds time for the simpler things in Life, such as walking through the park... where he tells two inquisitive young bench-warmers that he's wearing Haines. As to whether they're boxers or briefs, he advises them to just leave it at that.

I wonder if the "boys" are ever allowed to go commando, considering that hefty Haines contract.

Just as with the connection made with 'The Jake Effect', Michael Jordan can also make the connection with 'Monk' without ever appearing on the show. A basketball that he autographed was the prize possesson in the office of a sports agent in San Francisco... or at least it was until Adrian Monk obsessively wiped away the "smudge" that was on it.

Oprah can make the same kind of connection without having to show up, via something she "owns" - Gayle King. The quartet of women who worked as real estate agents on 'Hot Properties' worshipped Oprah and finally scored the ducats needed to gain entry to her show. But thanks to a series of mishaps through which hilarity ensued, the girls needed the divine intervention of "Oprah's Best Friend" to finally get in to see her.

So it's a bit off the cuff and by proxy, but through the League of Themselves, 'The Jake Effect' has gained official entry into the TV Universe.

(Unofficially, it's also a member thanks to the Theory of Relateeveety. Six episodes weren't enough time for us to meet Jake Galvin's family. So nothing really prevents me from staking the claim that his father is Ace Galvin, the former astronaut played by Robert Culp in an episode of 'Wings'.)

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

THE GRIM REALITY OF TOOBWORLD

Shannon D. Harrington filed this news report for Bloomberg.com:

A U.S. soldier and three others in a military convoy, including two members of a CBS News crew, were killed by a car bomb in central Baghdad today, the U.S. military said. Six U.S. soldiers and a CBS correspondent were injured.

Cameraman Paul Douglas, 48, and sound technician James Brolan, 42, were killed and correspondent Kimberly Dozier, 39, was injured when the bomb exploded. The crew was with the 4th Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, CBS said in a statement.

An Iraqi contractor also was killed in the attack. The military didn't release the names of the soldier or contractor or the names of the wounded.

The bombing was one of eight today that killed at least 33 people and wounded dozens more, the Associated Press reported.

The television crew was reporting from outside a Humvee when the explosives-packed car detonated. The network said they were wearing protective gear.

Dozier, who has been reporting on the war in Iraq for almost three years, underwent surgery at a U.S. military hospital in Baghdad and is in critical condition.

Doctors are optimistic about her prognosis, CBS said.

Douglas, had worked for CBS since the early 1990s in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Rwanda and Bosnia. Brolan, a freelancer, had worked in Baghdad and Afghanistan during the past year, the network said. Both men were based in London.

"This is a devastating loss for CBS News,'' Sean McManus, president of CBS News and Sports, said in a statement. "Kimberly, Paul and James were veterans of war coverage who proved their bravery and dedication every single day.''

The deaths today bring the total of journalists killed in Iraq to at least 71 since the March 2003 U.S.-led invasion, according to data compiled by the New York-based Committee to Protect Journalists.

Here's more from CBS.com:

Dozier sustained serious injuries and was flown to a U.S. military hospital inside Baghada's Green Zone, where she underwent surgery. She is in critical condition, but doctors are cautiously optimistic about her prognosis.

Douglas, who was British, leaves a wife, Linda; two daughters, Kelly, 29, and Joanne, 26; and three grandchildren. Brolan, who was also British, leaves a wife, Geraldine, and two children, Sam, 17, and Agatha, 12.

"This is a devastating loss for CBS News," said Sean McManus, President, CBS News and Sports, in a CBS statement. "Kimberly, Paul and James were veterans of war coverage who proved their bravery and dedication every single day. They always volunteered for dangerous assignments and were invaluable in our attempt to report the news to the American public."

"Our deepest sympathy goes out to the families of Paul and James, and we are hoping and praying for a complete recovery by Kimberly. Countless men and women put their lives on the line, day in and day out, in Iraq and other dangerous spots around the world, and they deserve our utmost respect and gratitude for the work they do," McManus said.

Douglas, 48, had worked for CBS News in many countries, including Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Rwanda and Bosnia, since the early 1990s. He leaves behind a wife, two daughters and three grandchildren. Brolan, 42, was a freelancer who had worked with CBS News in Baghdad and Afghanistan over the past year. He was part of the CBS News team that had received a 2006 Overseas Press Club Award for its reporting on the Pakistan earthquake.

Dozier, 39, has been a CBS News correspondent, reporting from Iraq, for the past three years, Before that, she served as London bureau chief and chief European correspondent for CBS Radio News from 1996-2002. Dozier is the recipient of three American Women in Radio and Television (AWRT) Gracie Awards for her radio reports on Mideast violence, Kosovo and the Afghan war.

Dozier and her London-based crew are among the latest American television journalists to become casualties in Iraq. Former ABC News "World News Tonight" co-anchor Bob Woodruff and cameraman Doug Vogt suffered severe injuries in a roadside bombing in Iraq Jan. 29, 2006. Woodruff is still recovering from serious head injuries and broken bones. Cameraman Vogt has returned home to France for more rehab.

On April 6, 2003, David Bloom, 39, an American journalist for NBC television, embedded with U.S. troops in Iraq died from an apparent blood clot near Baghdad.

From this insignifcant speck on the TV map, I'd like to add my prayers and condolences to the families of Paul Douglas and James Brolan, and I wish to send my best wishes for a speedy recovery to Kimberly Dozier.

BCnU...
Tele-Toby

REGARDING HENRY

HENRY BLAKE

A TOOBWORLD REMEMBRANCE

"Lt. Colonel Henry Blake's plane shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun out of control. There were no survivors."

With those few words, the audience viewing at home was shocked to learn of the loss of a beloved figure in Toobworld... more than twenty years after it actually happened.

As he was already in his forties, with a family and established practice as a general practicioner back in Illinois, Henry Braymore Blake didn't have to answer the call to serve in the military as a front-line surgeon. But he did feel the need to help those young soldiers who didn't have a choice about going over there. And so even though his wife was pregnant with his third child, Henry Blake accepted the rank of Lt. Colonel and became the commander of a mobile army surgical unit, the 4077.

Excerpts from the Wikipedia are quoted below in this look back at Henry Blake's career during the Korean Conflict:

Back in Illinois Henry had a wife, Lorraine, although in the earliest episodes of 'M*A*S*H', her name was Mildred. For a splainin, it's easy enough: I think her first name was Mildred and her middle name was Lorraine, and both of them preferred her middle name. Maybe for where they lived in Illinois, it sounded cosmopolitan.

Henry had three children, although he never got the chance to see his youngest son in person, as the boy was born after he left for Korea. His oldest was his son Andrew, and then his daughter Molly.

"Henry cared deeply for his family, even though he had a tendency to fraternize with the nurses à la Hawkeye and Trapper. One constant source of frustration was that his wife was always sending Henry her bills and check books so that he could balance things out long distance.

According to Henry, his wife, a former 'Succotash Queen' at Illinois Normal, was a terrific cook and made a great chocolate cake. "

"Henry was essentially a nice person and a capable doctor but not a very forceful or competent commanding officer. Blake always put himself forward as a friend first, and commanding officer second when it came to his post at the 4077—although in the rare occasion when he was boxed into a corner, he uncomfortably but firmly reminded his officers who was in charge.

In one of many letters to his father, Hawkeye described Henry as 'a good doctor and a pretty good joe'. But as a commanding officer, he likened Henry to Daffy Duck."

Henry did the best he could as the commanding officer of the 4077th, but he was beset on all sides by competing interests. There were the two best surgeons under his command, Captains "Hawkeye" Pierce and "Trapper" John McIntyre, who were anti-authoritarian cutups always causing trouble with their disruptions.

And even though Henry felt a kinship with them and probably preferred to join them rather than fight them, (especially when it came to cigars, home-made booze, and the nurses), he knew he had to maintain some semblance of discipline with them both.

"On the rare occasion when Henry actually stood his ground and refused to let Hawkeye and Trapper have their way, the maverick captains would criticize Henry for not being 'one of the guys'.

When Henry decided to send a lost Korean boy to an orphanage, insisting that the 4077 didn't have the qualifications to look after the child, and technically he was right, Hawkeye called him a villain, to which Henry actually took offense."

But if Henry let Hawkeye and Trapper John get away with everything, Henry knew he'd then have to deal with Major Frank Burns and the chief nurse, Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan, who wanted him to run that camp strictly by the book even if the Army standards couldn't be applied to every situation.

"Henry generally let their criticisms roll off his back, but once told Frank, who was letting Hot Lips do all the talking, that if he did not watch his language, Henry would have no choice but to punch Hot Lips right in the mouth. Another time, when Frank was arguing with Trapper, Henry told Frank that if he didn't calm down, he would have no choice but to put it in Frank's records that Frank did not work and play well with others."

Henry Blake loved to play golf, even in a battlezone, and he loved fly-fishing. This was evident by the hat he chose to wear rather than the standard issue military cap, but it looked good when worn with his old college sweater.

"His strongest bond in Korea was to the young Corporal Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly, for whom Blake was something of a father figure."

Radar was a "naive, fresh-faced farmboy from Iowa, vulnerable to the horrors of war, and Blake was like the father he never had." Henry provided "guidance, comfort, and support to the young Corporal.

"In return, Radar more or less kept the unit running like a well oiled machine, his nearly magical skills for getting everything done" to counter-banlance Henry's lack in leadership skills.

And so it was that young Radar was the first to learn of the tragic news about Henry Blake's death. Henry had been on his way home to his wife and kids in Illinois, finally discharged to escape the horrors of the war.

But he didn't make it very far - the plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan and there were no survivors after it spun down into the water.

Radar was forced to bring word of the tragedy to the others as they struggled through another shift in the OR. It was the first act of manhood for Radar in which he had to finally stand on his own, without the guidance of his mentor.

Toobworld is made up of many TV dimensions, thanks to shows like 'Star Trek' and 'Sliders'. The Henry Blake we know existed in the main Toobworld, Earth Prime-Time. His two oldest children Andrew and Molly would be in their late fifties, early sixties by now, so if you ever see a TV character by those names and who would be about that age, chances are they could be Henry's kids. (We never learned his baby's name, at least I don't think so, but he'd be in his early fifties now.)

But Henry Blake existed in at least one other TV dimension, as well as in several other universes based on the artistic output of Mankind. He was born of the literary universe, thanks to several novels by H. Richard Hornberger, aka Richard Hooker. In that world, Henry Blake probably survived the Korean Conflict to return to practice in the United States.

He also exists in the movie universe, the "Cineverse". As the movie by Robert Altman followed the book closely, Henry probably lived on there as well.

(One interesting, yet sad, side-note from the Real World. Roger Bowen played Henry Blake in the movie version, and he died of a heart attack one day after MacLean Stevenson died of a heart attack in February of 1996. And Stevenson of course played Henry on TV.)

As for that other TV dimension, Henry Blake survived that plane crash in the dimension based on TV comedy sketches from variety shows. (Nicknamed "Sketchworld" or "Skitlandia", it is officially known as Earth Not Ready For Prime Time.)

In fact, the night after the Real World learned of the death of Henry Blake on 'M*A*S*H' in the main Toobworld, Henry was seen on a life raft waving frantically to draw attention to himself as he shouted, "I'm OK! I'm OK!" (This occurred on an episode of 'The Carol Burnett Show'.)

So on this Memorial Day, I'd like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to Henry Blake. He was not a very good leader of men, but he was a good man who led by example.

BCnU....
Tele-Toby

HENRY BLAKE
"I was never very good with my hands."
RADAR O'REILLY
"Guess that's why you became a surgeon, huh, Sir?"
'M*A*S*H'

BILL MOYERS: MAN OF REASON, MAN OF FAITH

Did you know I have a mission in my role as a caretaker for Toobworld? I want to spread the word of David Bianculli's concept of tele-literacy. I don't want the viewing audience to just sit there like rotten cabbages (Thank you, Patrick McGoohan!) and let TV shows just wash over them. (One reason I hate shows like 'Fear Factor'.)

I want those TV shows to inspire the audience to explore related subjects; I want them to think inside the box.

The example I usually give? I mentioned it just yesterday - 'Mr. Ed'. After watching this sitcom about a talking horse, you should read 'Gulliver's Travels' by Jonathan Swift, especially the chapter about the intelligent horses of Houhynymn Island.

Over the last two years, the clash between Jack and Locke on 'Lost' has been one of Science vs. Faith. And even though it looks like Locke had lost his faith by season's end, Mr. Eko picked up the mantle. That conflict between Faith and Science will always be around.

I'm not going to nudge you in the direction of any book to read about it, though. Instead, it's a TV production on PBS.

Bill Moyers new seven-part series examines the clash between reason and faith, and asks whether or not we can achieve a world in which both viewpoints are tolerated.

In this new series, he'll be talking to writers about the topic, rather than religious leaders and philosophers. His reasoning is that "stories can help us see into the truth of experience that is obscured by the different meanings each faith assigns to the same language."

It has been noted in various web forums that the society (now societies, I guess) of survivors and Others to be found on the mysterious Island of 'Lost' represents a microcosm of the outside world at large. And the differences between Jack and Locke, "Man of Science, Man of Faith" represents that particular debate.

'Bill Moyers On Faith And Reason' begins near the end of June on most PBS stations. Check your local channel for time and listings. (I love getting to say that!)

Who knows? Maybe the discussions and debates will give the writers of 'Lost' something to hash out around the signal fires. From stories may come more stories.....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

O'BSERVATIONS: THE "LOST" FINALE

With last year's finale, I think the one line that most resonated with viewers was spoken by "Tom Friendly" near the end of the two hours:

"The thing is... we're gonna have to take the boy."

This year, I think the honor goes to Sayid Jarrah:

"I don't know what is more disquieting, the fact that the statue is missing or that it has four toes,"
~~~~
I'm hoping the statue relic proves to be Sayid's "hatch" (in other words, an obsession like Locke had). This would provide a meaty storyline for Naveen Andrews and whomever else is drawn into the mystery of what the four-toed statue represents.
~~~~
And what does it represent? The producers once said that the final answer would not involve aliens, but they've been known to lie to us before.

Perhaps it's a question of semantics. Maybe the statue has no connection to aliens from outer space... what about a race of ancients alien to the modern concept of intelligent life on Earth?

Something out of Faerie perhaps?

Could it be a tribute to the demi-gods who once visited this world from another dimension?

Could it be that the Island is some kind of Atlantis?

"Gulliver's Travels" has been incorporated into Toobworld, thanks to the mini-series in the late 1990s. So we know the lands visited by Lemuel Gulliver are now part of this TV world. (And as an off-shoot beneficiary from that, post-dated, we now have a splainin for 'Mr. Ed'!)

On one of those islands, Gulliver encountered the Brobdignagians, a race of giants. Could this statue have been left behind as a memorial to them? (They still exist on Earth Prime Time, but not as a united tribe. Mostly they live in the Rocky Mountains and enjoy cold beers. Every so often, one of them takes a nap across the landscape, inconveniencing the passersby.)

Whatever the statue represents, I think it's the aspect of the story I'm most jazzed about. I just hope they don't let me down with the splainins.
~~~~
I'm told that weird-looking bird, the only one seen on the Island since they crashed there, also appeared in the finale for the first season. I'll have to retrieve my copy of the boxed set from my brother and finally watch it all again.

This show gives you so much information, sometimes it's hard to retain it all.
~~~~
There's been a lot of chatter about Charlie's demeanor when he returned to the Lostaways' camp. I'm thinking that it can be attributed to more than the disorientation from both explosions and the resulting "meltdown" when the button wasn't pushed.

I'm thinking that he should not have injected himself with that serum. Something bad will come of that next season, I'm sure.
~~~~~
I think on his trip back to the other survivors, Hurley may encounter that bird again. It would certainly make for an interesting episode for him, considering his tenuous grasp on reality.

And I think his best bet is to head for that signal smoke sent up by Sayid. That way he can reconnect with the Iraqi and with Sun & Jin. It's probably almost necessary, otherwise they might still stay out there looking for Jack, Kate, and Sawyer.

And then he gets a boat ride home.
~~~~
At first I didn't like the idea of those three being taken captive by the Others, because I thought the rest of their group would suffer story-wise, being left behind.

But now I see that it might have been necessary to protect their chances at juicy roles on the show. Without getting overshadowed by Sawyer, Jack and Kate week after week, we might be able to see a new dynamic rise from the survivors.

Who will emerge as the new leader with Jack missing? Locke or Eko (if they survived)? Sayid? Might Danielle Rousseau make her presence more noticeable this season?
~~~~~
I think Eko and Locke have survived the cataclysm of the hatch. Not too sure about Desmond, but I'd like to think so. By turning the key, I think he cancelled out the electromagnetic program altogether, but that doesn't necessarily mean he was killed off in the attempt.

At the same time, I think he has served his purpose to the script gods and so the Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos of Toobworld have more than likely given his particular thread the final snip.
~~~~~
But thanks to his short-lived return, at least we should be getting Sonya Walger as Penelope Widmore, at least on a recurring basis. I first saw her in "The Librarian: Quest For The Spear", and then in her recurring role on 'CSI: NY'. She's an interesting actress to watch, and I think Penelope will play an integral role to the development of the story.
~~~~
There was a flurry of speculation that Matthew Fox was playing one of those two Portuguese (Brazilian?) researchers in the Antarctic working for Penelope Widmore.

But on closer inspection of that scene with repeated viewings, I tend to doubt it. Eye color, nose shape, vocal quality all point to him being a different actor.

Still, people are fixated on this idea of "bad twins" and "genetic mirrors", so who knows? Personally, I'm using that genetic mirror theory to splain something else that happened in the finale.....
~~~~
I think we have more or less seen the end of Michael on the show. Maybe now and again in a flashback for somebody else, as we're promised with Libby, but otherwise, his storyline is wrapped up and he's out the door without having to die for it like Boone, Shannon, Ana Lucia, and Libby.

But what about Walt?

I can't believe the "Others" would give him up that easily. They claimed they got what they wanted from him - what could that be? Genetic material? But why wait until any clones, let's say, came to fruition, when you can exploit the original. If he has the powers that many of us suspect, he's an Anthony Fremont that can still be controlled.

So here's my idea - the Walt that left with Michael is not the original Walt. He's a doppelganger, a changeling, a bad twin. (Dun dun DUNH!)

The real one is still back at the Others' camp, where Jack and Kate and Sawyer will find him being held in "the room".
~~~~
How were they able to come up with a changeling so quickly? There's always that Faerie angle I mentioned earlier. But considering that this is a production in which JJ Abrams still has some input, and that a connection has already been established between 'Lost' and his other show 'Alias', I think we can look to yet another crossover for the splainin.

That splainin comes in the 'Alias' episode "Double Agent": "Helix is a new gene therapy that can reshape a patient's face and body. The only way to determine an actual identity is through an ocular scan — this flaw was purposely built into the procedure." (from Wikipedia)

Perhaps the Others used Helix, acquired through Widmore Labs, to turn some other child (or small adult - Malcolm David Kelley was growing like a weed!) into the perfect double for Walt. And since Michael didn't really know all that much about his own son, perhaps he would never notice until it was too late - i.e., he was outside the radius of the Island's influence and can't find his way back.
~~~~~
But here's another scenario that might play out which would keep Walt in the show, but lose Michael:

Keeping to that heading supplied by Fake Henry, the boat would head out to sea as the Island curved away. Somewhere out there is some kind of radius, invisible wall, that prevents the island from being seen by the outside world. Things can drift into that area, but they can't get back out - except at the one place where the boat would be heading.

Just before they reach that chink in the "wall", Walt demands that they go back so that he can get Vincent. But Michael refuses. He knows what will happen if they return - he'll be killed for murdering Ana Lucia and Libby. Better to keep going and escape to the outside world.

Walt's powers forced a bird he was interested in to come to him, only to smash into a glass door. He may have summoned the polar bear (although I think it was already on the Island). He probably caused it to stop raining at one point. And he seems able to teleport at least an image of himself.

What if he wanted Vincent so badly that his powers caused himself to be teleported back to the Island? But once there, he couldn't rejoin his father, no matter how powerful his mind was, because Michael was just passing through that one opening in the shield? The boat goes through before he has a chance to notice Walt was gone - not unusual considering their past relationship - and turning around, he can't find his way back in.

So that would strand Walt back on the Island to be included in future stories, but without having Michael around.
~~~~
As for his growth spurt in what should have been only two months, that could be attributed to the kinds of experiments performed on him by the Others, or through the use of his own powers. Making a "Big"-like wish to be of a size where he could better protect himself against their imprisonment and "tests".

With some similar explanation, it wouldn't be a problem then to have the young actor stick around without the audience complaining about his size difference; the way they complained that Hurley wasn't losing weight.

(You notice that they don't often complain that the women still have shaved legs and non-hairy armpits, right? Sheesh.)
~~~~
Why did the Others take Kate, Jack, and Sawyer? Just to prove to the other Survivors that they can take anybody. And to throw them into a leadership vacuum and keep them docile through fear. But procreation could be a factor as well. Maybe that EMP all these years has rendered them sterile.
~~~~~
Like I said, I hope this means meatier storylines for the other Survivors left behind. I hope Locke and Eko did survive and that Locke rediscovers his faith with Eko's help.

With the EMP now gone forever most likely, will that mean a reversion to the Island's healing powers? We've seen three major examples of it via Locke, Jin, and Rose (the first ever example? The fast way Jack healed from his back injury which Kate had sewn up.)

With Jin, it doesn't matter much. If he had been cured of his own sterility by the Island, it already did its job: Sun was pregnant. But it could have terrible consequences for Rose and Locke. Locke might not be able to walk now, but Rose could end up dying from the cancer.

We'll just have to wait and see if there was a connection between the button and their healths.
~~~~
So the storylines I think we should see next season:

Obviously life among the Others for Jack, Kate, and Sawyer (and maybe Walt).
Any possible effects on Charlie in re: to that vaccine.
The mystery of the four-toed statue.
Hurley's bird.
Sun's pregnancy - is Jin the father? Was she raped by Charlie when he kidnapped her?
The health of Rose
More about Alex Rousseau and a possible reconciliation with her birth mother.
And maybe even more about Penny Widmore and the outside world.
~~~~~
A casting call has gone out for the following three types:

woman, 30s, with leadership qualities
woman, early 20s
Latino male in his 20s, mysterious nature

When they were casting the role of Charlie, the producers orginally had an older, more washed-up figure in mind; maybe somebody along the lines of Bill Nighy's character in "Love, Actually". But upon seeing Dominic Monaghan's audition, they re-thought the role.

The same could happen with these three. That's why I like the idea of Alex Kingston, formerly of 'ER', as the take-charge woman. She's older than what they're looking for, but she has a great look that would fit right in with the diversity of 'Lost'.

Speaking of which, where are the Native Americans? We've got Africans, African Americans, Asians, we had a Latina......

(The reason I ask is that I'm currently watching 'Coyote Waits' on DVD with Adam Beach and Wes Studi among others. Some of the actresses would fit right in to this Island mix as that woman in her 30s, Jill Scott Momaday and Alex Rice.)

As for the woman in her 20s, I'd suggest Rachel Nichols, who was in 'The Inside' last summer and then in the final season of 'Alias'

And how about David Lago for the mysterious young Latino? He won a Daytime Emmy for playing Raul Guttierrez on 'The Young & The Restless'.... he should be available.

So that's about it - and isn't that enough? LOL

Here's to a summer of rehashing theories and the sweet agony of the show's return in the fall......

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

LA day 1

Finally, I am back in Mike's apartment in Texas, so there I am using his computer (with built-in photoshop 7, hallelujah), his internet connection, and his electricity to present this long-awaited blog entry.

Erm actually I have been at his apartment for a few days now, but I have been, erm, lazing around and watching trashy American TV, so well, this entry is a bit late.

God, I have so many things to blog about!

Speaking of American TV, I LOVE AMERICAN TV!

Man, the shows here are so freaking trashy and I love every moment of it!

In our hotels (Mike doesn't watch TV much so he doesn't have a TV antenna, can you believe it? The travesty!) we watched this show called Maury or something, and man, Americans are so amazing!

Maury's this guy who is like the host of the show, and one big theme of the show is to get women with newborn babies to come on the show, and if they agree to it, they will be given a free DNA test, where results will show who the father of her baby is.

Now the first person I saw was a 13 year old girl, and she gave birth to a son (!) and she didn't know who the father was, coz she fucked two guys - one 16 year old black boy, and a 15 year old white boy.

The white boy wanted to take responsibility, but the black boy didn't wanna.

The girl is Mexican, and the baby appeared to be pretty fair, so she hoped it was the white boy who was the father, but DANG DANG DANG!

It is the black boy! She then ran into the backstage dramatically crying her heart out, and man, with the look on the black kid's face, I was hooked on that show!

The show also had like this woman who came, and her complains was that her husband would treat her elder daughter very well and treat her second child, a 1 year old son very badly.

Like totally ignore him when he wants a hug, and so on.

The reason for his unfair behaviour was that he heard rumours that his wife was fucking around outside, and he thinks that the second child was not his, coz the kid looked Asian, and this man is black.

So this woman right, got on the show, and started screaming at her husband, saying he is so mean to a young, innocent child who is his flesh and blood, and crying and everything.

After that, Maury said, alright, we have our DNA results with us!

TADAH, the second child is not the husband's baby!!

Just so shocking coz how sure the woman looked and everything before the results showed...

They took the quarrel backstage, and the man was shouting at his wife, and she actually shouted back, "Yeah right, I cheated on you, you like to hear that, huh? Yeah well let me tell you, he is not ASIAN, SO YOU GOT THAT PART WRONG!"

I was just shell-shocked looking at these Americans fight on TV.

Maury then asked, "Would you like us to tell you who the father is?" and the girl replied, "No, I know who he is..." and continued shouting at her husband.

Wow.

There were also teens who were addicted to sex, and their crying moms would bring them on the show, and man, there was this one girl who had sex when she was... EIGHT.

I told Mike the reason why American TV is so good is because there are these crazy people who are willing to go on TV to show their craziness.

I think Mike ignored me coz he thinks watching stupid people on TV makes him mad that such behaviour exists, and he is busy doing more substantial stuff, like, erm, reading a book or something. Ahem.

Am I boring you?

Well, here are the photos... It's 523am right now in Texas, with a terrific storm brewing outside, and Mike's in bed waiting for me, so there you go, pictures, without much text.

Or so I say now. I can never tell how a blog entry can end up. Just like I wanted to blog about a snooker/country club ktv session, and I end up writing about handicapped toilets.

And out of nowhere, I get famous for it. Gah.

Exciting! My ticket to LA costs $1,300 SGD including taxes, and it gets me to Narita Airport in Tokyo for my transit!

Well, I only go there for an hour, but still, now I can say "Yeah, DUH, who hasn't been to Japan?!" when people ask if I have went to Japan.



I know Departure timings have nothing to do with you and this picture is absolutely pointless, but I think it brings out the travel atmosphere, so there.



There's smelly Shuyin with my bimbo luggage and queuing for me. She's the sweetest, she went over to my place at 10pm (my flight was at goddamn 4am), and went to the airport with me! And she had work the next day....

Awwww...

She doesn't know, but I am looking at this photo and giving her a virtual kiss on her butt.

Kelvin and Qihua came to send me off too... :D Thanks guys. And Momo and my auntie Susan as well. :)

Fast forward 7 hours, TOKYO NARITA AIRPORT!



I see Japan!


Very predictable

Oooh, I went to try their toilets!



Isn't it so cool?!

I was very jittery when I first tried to wash my butt, coz I have heard horror stories of people who got their genitals burnt by malicious malfunctioning sprays which shot boiling jets of water up their tender parts, and man, I think that's not gonna feel good at all.

I pressed "shower" first, and it shot a jet of lukewarm water directly at my asshole.

It made me laugh and laugh coz it was so ticklish.

Which is, as you can predict, rather awkward for me coz I cannot laugh out loud. With some difficulty I moved such that the jet only hit a butt cheek.

I am shocked at the accuracy of this flush thing. Wonder how many engineers had their assholes misfired at before it hit at the exact right spot?

I also tried the "flushing sound" thing and it made me laugh even more... coz apparently - don't laugh, it's true - the Japanese invented a fake, fake flushing sound to cover whatever obscene noises you intend to make in a toilet.

And finally, Los Angeles!

Finally I get to see my baby again. :D

I was sick with flu when I arrived, so all we did that half day was to get our rental car, and eat at....

WENDY'S!!


So nice to see my name all over the place. :D

And we head over to Hollywood!









Was a good efficient car, but the company, Dollar, charged Mike an untold, hidden fee of $25 a day extra just coz he wasn't 25 yet!

RIDICULOUS! The fees came up to a fucking $600 or so for like a week plus! Total fucking rip-off.


The celebrities supposedly swim in the hotel's pool a lot.

We didn't have time to visit it. Damn.



I found it super amusing that all the Asian places use the same font for its signboards.

Duh, doesn't even slightly look like Chinese characters!


We arrive at the Kodak something something.

I don't remember what it's called but it has many people milling around interestedly.



There, I told you they milled around interestedly.





The weather was like 18 degrees or something, sunlight plus cooling wind. Perfect.

Look who was here!


The year I was born.






Jack Nicholson's hands are so small.

There are also people waiting to take photos with you. Need to tip them tho :)








I can't stop looking at superman's penis. MY EYES!

Look at our nice new car:



It is bigger than your car.

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I told you.




I like these old-school cars.


Mike and me again

In Hollywood there are lots of gift shops that all try to rip you off. They all sell the same things: Cups, mugs, tin plates like car vanity plates, and clothes.



Mike likes this store with Marilyn inside it. She does look like she likes the boob grab, doesn't she? :D



Wooh look, I'm wrapped in a dollar bill!

After this we paid 11 bucks to get into Ripley's Believe it or not.



Considering how a bottle of mineral water is like $3 in Hollywood, I think 11 bucks is very cheap indeed.





I think Mike likes the gorilla.



Hahaha this photo is totally pointless. It is Ripley with some Ubagi woman or something. I just put it here coz I thought the boys might like to see some boobies.

Ha, I think Ripley looks like he is saying, "Woman, have some decency and get dressed!"

And the woman is like "MMMMmmm hmmm hmmm" coz she can't talk as her lips has that big ring in it.








Mike saw this, laughed, and said, "Man, that kid looks really pissed off."




Think this was the funniest part of the museum. It had this giant mirror which urged you to try rolling your tongue, and so I tried to do that.

At the end of the tour, we come to a little room, where people were all looking and laughing at the new visitors who were all stupidly rolling their tongues at a two-way mirror.


Golden arches from its native country






Ewww... Scientology. We tried to find the celebrity center but couldn't.



We went into a sex shop next:


They had a full array of goods to sell!


Nothing like what the miserly sex shops in Singapore offer.




Their sex products had fully naked women in compromising positions and showing their genitals to the rest of the world in a very proud manner!

Wow! It is like watching porn in public man! In a shop!

I bought a garter there for 12 bucks. Cheap! Can't find it in Singapore. Mike says the counter girl, who is a butch, was totally trying to hit on me. Woohoo! I feel pretty and special here coz the angmohs actually like short girls. :D


Performances and hot dog vendors are common on the Walk of Fame.


Mike made me stop to take a photo of him with fellow geek Thomas Edison's star.




Very nice architecture.

And... My first visit into Victoria's Secrets!





Everyone has been yapping on and on about VS, but when I stepped into the store I was seriously quite disappointed.

Their sizes are all so big!

I didn't see that many pretty stuff around that was worth it's price, and as for those cheap things, like undies being 5 for $25 or something, even S was too big for me (or so I presume since it is like way bigger than my normal locally bought underwear).

For once I wished I had a bigger ass.

So yes, I actually walked out of that store... Without buying anything.

Oh yeah? You think I want that? The only nice things I saw in the store was this column of fancy fluffy white bras and panties, and then I saw why they looked so pretty and white: For Brides.

I think Mike freaked out when he saw me looking at those. Ha.

I also convinced the poor guy to go blonde. We are in sunny California after all!


Bye bye to Mike's brown hair!


Turning blonde without bleaching, wow. Wish I could do that.


And washing it off!

Wanna see how it turns out?

I am afraid you have to come back here again. ;) Off to sleep now for me! Christ, its 7.09am now!