Friday, July 4, 2003
A few days ago when I was actively searching the web for a good deal for my 8910, I came up with some encounters.
I tried to look for a good deal at #nokia in irc, in which I met alot of stupid Ah bengs trying to sell me their hps/hp casings/etc electronic gadgets.
There are many times in life that we meet annoying people of course. Sometimes u just get so infuriated by them. Not to worry, DR Wendy here will teach u how to get outta the situation with a snap.
To counter the dumb who dun think they are dumb, and are at the same time crude, uncivilised and unreasonable: Simple. Irritate the shit out of them by being irrelevant.
[AhBeNG_86]Wat pHoNe YoU LoOk|ng 4?
[Xia`xue] I already stated in the main that I want an 8910.
[AhBeNG_86]T68i U 1, i buy u cheap cheap.
[Xia`xue] You mean sell.
[AhBeNG_86] Kan ni na, haha.. Nvm lorx. ThEn u wan mi fone not?
[Xia`xue] Nah, I have in mind something more classy, thanks anyway.
[AhBeNG_86] CHeeBye! dun wan say dun wan, dun insult my phone. T68i too lousy for u izzit? It is a good hp, got colour somemore okie nabeh!
[Xia`xue] Aiyoh why are u insulting the hp lidat? Say it is lousy and everything. Dun insult urself mah, say until like u got such bad taste to choose the phone. It is actually quite a nice phone lar, u say until like it is worthless.
[AhBeNG_86] lan jiao! You are the one who say it is a lousy fone!
[Xia`xue] Huh but it is quite a good fone what! What u mean it is lousy? The functions not good meh?
[AhBeNG_86] fuck lar, since it is a good fone u buy lorx. i buy u at $250.
[Xia`xue] Nah, I have in mind something more classy, thanks anyway.
[AhBeNG_86] KAN NI NA BU **** C*** B**!!!! YOU FUCKING BITCH!
-Please note that u shld ALWAYS end IRC arguments with this final sentence.
[Xia`xue] Oh shut it. I have just put you on Ignore so whatever u say, I cannot see at all. U can choose to continue shouting like a lunatic.
[AhBeNG_86] Dun bluff, I bet u can see this.
[Xia`xue] Laalaalaalallaalalala
-After a few minutes, when he is unaware-
[Xia`xue] Laalaalaalallaalalala! I still can't see you! Are u still ranting??
This method should work well for Ah bengs. In fact, it shld work well with everyone, but there are exceptions, which are the following two types of people: Horny bastards, and the Super Smart.
Because I tried to go to #nus to advertise for my 8910, which is not allowed in case u dunno about IRC rules, I had to change my nick to prevent embarrassment. I think some people in that channel know me and its totally unglam to be kicked out for advertising.
SO. I changed my nick to `8910, predictably. The nick could have several connotations to it.
1) I would like to purchase an 8910
2) I HAVE an 8910 (Aka I am relatively rich and purposely flaunting it).
3) I just like the 8910 with no intentions of actually buying it.
If u realised, ALL the options are good reasons for sex perverts to talk to me. With the 1st and 3rd reason I get dirty old men asking me whether I can do a blow for them for $200 an hour, and a few blows gets me the phone. (Blow for an hour?? Am I really that lousy, or are they just impotent??!) With the 2nd reason I get whores trying to sell me their bodies thinking I'm some rich fuck.
The only way to outirritate Horny Bastards are to outhorny them.
[7Inchdick] Hi, u want the 8910?
[Xia`xue] yes.
[7Inchdick] I buy for you, want?
-Change your nick to something that sounds melancholy-
[SoLonely] And what must I do for you?
[7Inchdick] I want to lick your pussy.... You wun feel lonely anymore. I will make you feel so wet, so good, so horny. I am masterbating to ur words now, in fact.
[SoLonely] =(
[7Inchdick] Why, darling? Come over to my place now, I got strawberry flavoured condom, sure you like it. I will go in, and out, and in, and out of you. I will make u cum.
[SoLonely] You sure?
[7Inchdick] Yes. Cum over. (pun intended, darling)
[SoLonely] How old are u?
[7Inchdick] 29, and you?
[SoLonely] I'm 56 you see. U wun want to lick my pussy. It is all crumpled after I gave birth to my 3 kids. I am lonely cause they are all still outside now. That Jolene ah, tml got school still go Thailand. And my husband left me after I gave birth to my youngest son 3 years ago. I need some love.
[7Inchdick] Eh, okie. I can dun mind ur age if u look still young and pretty.
[SoLonely] I can only give u my vital stats. 36, 32, 38. Oh man I wan you to lick my breasts. I wan u to lick my toes and my feet and my legs, although I haven shaved like for years. I want you to call me what my hubby used to call me, HoneyLips. It is refering to the other pair of lips of course. =( Now he calls HoneyLips, SaggyDroopyLips. I need love! And sex!
[7Inchdick] Eh, okie....
[SoLonely] Do send me a picture of you! I want a nude picture, so that I can look at it and stuff that hot lava lamp up my vagina!
[7Inchdick] Oh god u can stuff a lava lamp inside your vagina?
[SoLonely] You mean it is not normal???
-After viewing the pic-
[SoLonely] Your dick is so lovely. Can I put it up my arse??
[7InchDick] You are so disgusting!!!
[SoLonely] =( Sorry lar. I go over now k k? I send u my pic.
Have fun as the pervert runs away, totally freaked out. LOLz (to be continued)
I tried to look for a good deal at #nokia in irc, in which I met alot of stupid Ah bengs trying to sell me their hps/hp casings/etc electronic gadgets.
There are many times in life that we meet annoying people of course. Sometimes u just get so infuriated by them. Not to worry, DR Wendy here will teach u how to get outta the situation with a snap.
To counter the dumb who dun think they are dumb, and are at the same time crude, uncivilised and unreasonable: Simple. Irritate the shit out of them by being irrelevant.
[AhBeNG_86]Wat pHoNe YoU LoOk|ng 4?
[Xia`xue] I already stated in the main that I want an 8910.
[AhBeNG_86]T68i U 1, i buy u cheap cheap.
[Xia`xue] You mean sell.
[AhBeNG_86] Kan ni na, haha.. Nvm lorx. ThEn u wan mi fone not?
[Xia`xue] Nah, I have in mind something more classy, thanks anyway.
[AhBeNG_86] CHeeBye! dun wan say dun wan, dun insult my phone. T68i too lousy for u izzit? It is a good hp, got colour somemore okie nabeh!
[Xia`xue] Aiyoh why are u insulting the hp lidat? Say it is lousy and everything. Dun insult urself mah, say until like u got such bad taste to choose the phone. It is actually quite a nice phone lar, u say until like it is worthless.
[AhBeNG_86] lan jiao! You are the one who say it is a lousy fone!
[Xia`xue] Huh but it is quite a good fone what! What u mean it is lousy? The functions not good meh?
[AhBeNG_86] fuck lar, since it is a good fone u buy lorx. i buy u at $250.
[Xia`xue] Nah, I have in mind something more classy, thanks anyway.
[AhBeNG_86] KAN NI NA BU **** C*** B**!!!! YOU FUCKING BITCH!
-Please note that u shld ALWAYS end IRC arguments with this final sentence.
[Xia`xue] Oh shut it. I have just put you on Ignore so whatever u say, I cannot see at all. U can choose to continue shouting like a lunatic.
[AhBeNG_86] Dun bluff, I bet u can see this.
[Xia`xue] Laalaalaalallaalalala
-After a few minutes, when he is unaware-
[Xia`xue] Laalaalaalallaalalala! I still can't see you! Are u still ranting??
This method should work well for Ah bengs. In fact, it shld work well with everyone, but there are exceptions, which are the following two types of people: Horny bastards, and the Super Smart.
Because I tried to go to #nus to advertise for my 8910, which is not allowed in case u dunno about IRC rules, I had to change my nick to prevent embarrassment. I think some people in that channel know me and its totally unglam to be kicked out for advertising.
SO. I changed my nick to `8910, predictably. The nick could have several connotations to it.
1) I would like to purchase an 8910
2) I HAVE an 8910 (Aka I am relatively rich and purposely flaunting it).
3) I just like the 8910 with no intentions of actually buying it.
If u realised, ALL the options are good reasons for sex perverts to talk to me. With the 1st and 3rd reason I get dirty old men asking me whether I can do a blow for them for $200 an hour, and a few blows gets me the phone. (Blow for an hour?? Am I really that lousy, or are they just impotent??!) With the 2nd reason I get whores trying to sell me their bodies thinking I'm some rich fuck.
The only way to outirritate Horny Bastards are to outhorny them.
[7Inchdick] Hi, u want the 8910?
[Xia`xue] yes.
[7Inchdick] I buy for you, want?
-Change your nick to something that sounds melancholy-
[SoLonely] And what must I do for you?
[7Inchdick] I want to lick your pussy.... You wun feel lonely anymore. I will make you feel so wet, so good, so horny. I am masterbating to ur words now, in fact.
[SoLonely] =(
[7Inchdick] Why, darling? Come over to my place now, I got strawberry flavoured condom, sure you like it. I will go in, and out, and in, and out of you. I will make u cum.
[SoLonely] You sure?
[7Inchdick] Yes. Cum over. (pun intended, darling)
[SoLonely] How old are u?
[7Inchdick] 29, and you?
[SoLonely] I'm 56 you see. U wun want to lick my pussy. It is all crumpled after I gave birth to my 3 kids. I am lonely cause they are all still outside now. That Jolene ah, tml got school still go Thailand. And my husband left me after I gave birth to my youngest son 3 years ago. I need some love.
[7Inchdick] Eh, okie. I can dun mind ur age if u look still young and pretty.
[SoLonely] I can only give u my vital stats. 36, 32, 38. Oh man I wan you to lick my breasts. I wan u to lick my toes and my feet and my legs, although I haven shaved like for years. I want you to call me what my hubby used to call me, HoneyLips. It is refering to the other pair of lips of course. =( Now he calls HoneyLips, SaggyDroopyLips. I need love! And sex!
[7Inchdick] Eh, okie....
[SoLonely] Do send me a picture of you! I want a nude picture, so that I can look at it and stuff that hot lava lamp up my vagina!
[7Inchdick] Oh god u can stuff a lava lamp inside your vagina?
[SoLonely] You mean it is not normal???
-After viewing the pic-
[SoLonely] Your dick is so lovely. Can I put it up my arse??
[7InchDick] You are so disgusting!!!
[SoLonely] =( Sorry lar. I go over now k k? I send u my pic.
Have fun as the pervert runs away, totally freaked out. LOLz (to be continued)
(Continued.)
For the super smart
[MensaNerd] Would you like to acquire my used t68i which is in a startlingly mint semblance indeed, because of my devotion that once was unique to my handphone?
[Xia`xue] Pardon??
[MensaGuy] I have already wrote whatever u did not manage to comprehend, with the incompetent piece of what you call a brain, here in this chatbox. If u did not manage to capture what I mentioned, you can commodiously lift up ur fat fingers and click on scroll up and view it a second time. But no. You say "Pardon", and what do u expect me to do, cut and paste?
-Suddenly realises I am outsmarted. Time to irritate the complacent bastard.-
[Xia`xue] How to do cut and paste?
[MensaGuy] Dun waste my time, I need to research on the trajectory path of missiles for the SAF, PLUS finish my LAW thesis, AND write an article on Slim 10 as I am the head of the Medicine Club in NUS.
[Xia`xue] What waste ur time? You got so many useless things to do, u jealous issit, I am so pretty and smart.
[MensaGuy] I, jealous of you! Looks are only superficial! And I dun think u are smart at all. U sound damn stupid like the rest of the common folks. ALL BENEATH ME!
-Send him my pic with Christy Chung's body photoshopped on it (Aka the picture in the previous entry with the black dress, in case u all didn't realise it had gone thru deep digital surgery)-
[MensaGuy] Your body is fabulous. Okie u may be rather pulchritudinous, but u have not proved urself to be worthy of talking to me, coz u are dense!
-Start to speak in a foreign language starting from now. I suggest Norwegian, Portugese or some weird language just in case the guy knows french or German or Italian. Can be found at http://www.freetranslation.com-
[Xia`xue] Minst taler I et fremmedspr�k, kan De? (Norwegian: At least I can speak a foreign language, can you?)
[MensaGuy] Pardon??
[Xia`xue] I have already wrote whatever u did not manage to comprehend, with the incompetent piece of what you call a brain, here in this chatbox. If u did not manage to capture what I mentioned, you can commodiously lift up ur fat fingers and click on scroll up and view it a second time. But no. You say "Pardon", and what do u expect me to do, cut and paste?
[Xia`xue] That was Norwegian. And I can speak 8 different languages.
[Xia`xue] Mais je ne vous trouve pas digne de me parler(French: But I find you not worthy to talk to me.) Sie sind so dumm wie Schei�e (German: You are as stupid as shit.) Il Fuck via da ed arrivederci. (Italian: Fuck off and goodbye!)
[MensaGuy] ...
[Xia`xue] You have missed out on a pretty and smart girl like me. I also happen to have a nice butt and a prestigious phone (Ok ok enough already.). That will teach u to be rude in future. Anyway, u are on ignore now so dun write anymore, non lo posso vedere (Italian: I cannot see you.)
[MensaGuy] Come back!
[Xia`xue] Laallallallaalaalaalaa!
*****
Wahahhaha... I think I am too Bo liao. Gonna sleep now. Tml I shall make alot of people hate me. I shall tell u all why I am an avid supporter of piracy.
For the super smart
[MensaNerd] Would you like to acquire my used t68i which is in a startlingly mint semblance indeed, because of my devotion that once was unique to my handphone?
[Xia`xue] Pardon??
[MensaGuy] I have already wrote whatever u did not manage to comprehend, with the incompetent piece of what you call a brain, here in this chatbox. If u did not manage to capture what I mentioned, you can commodiously lift up ur fat fingers and click on scroll up and view it a second time. But no. You say "Pardon", and what do u expect me to do, cut and paste?
-Suddenly realises I am outsmarted. Time to irritate the complacent bastard.-
[Xia`xue] How to do cut and paste?
[MensaGuy] Dun waste my time, I need to research on the trajectory path of missiles for the SAF, PLUS finish my LAW thesis, AND write an article on Slim 10 as I am the head of the Medicine Club in NUS.
[Xia`xue] What waste ur time? You got so many useless things to do, u jealous issit, I am so pretty and smart.
[MensaGuy] I, jealous of you! Looks are only superficial! And I dun think u are smart at all. U sound damn stupid like the rest of the common folks. ALL BENEATH ME!
-Send him my pic with Christy Chung's body photoshopped on it (Aka the picture in the previous entry with the black dress, in case u all didn't realise it had gone thru deep digital surgery)-
[MensaGuy] Your body is fabulous. Okie u may be rather pulchritudinous, but u have not proved urself to be worthy of talking to me, coz u are dense!
-Start to speak in a foreign language starting from now. I suggest Norwegian, Portugese or some weird language just in case the guy knows french or German or Italian. Can be found at http://www.freetranslation.com-
[Xia`xue] Minst taler I et fremmedspr�k, kan De? (Norwegian: At least I can speak a foreign language, can you?)
[MensaGuy] Pardon??
[Xia`xue] I have already wrote whatever u did not manage to comprehend, with the incompetent piece of what you call a brain, here in this chatbox. If u did not manage to capture what I mentioned, you can commodiously lift up ur fat fingers and click on scroll up and view it a second time. But no. You say "Pardon", and what do u expect me to do, cut and paste?
[Xia`xue] That was Norwegian. And I can speak 8 different languages.
[Xia`xue] Mais je ne vous trouve pas digne de me parler(French: But I find you not worthy to talk to me.) Sie sind so dumm wie Schei�e (German: You are as stupid as shit.) Il Fuck via da ed arrivederci. (Italian: Fuck off and goodbye!)
[MensaGuy] ...
[Xia`xue] You have missed out on a pretty and smart girl like me. I also happen to have a nice butt and a prestigious phone (Ok ok enough already.). That will teach u to be rude in future. Anyway, u are on ignore now so dun write anymore, non lo posso vedere (Italian: I cannot see you.)
[MensaGuy] Come back!
[Xia`xue] Laallallallaalaalaalaa!
*****
Wahahhaha... I think I am too Bo liao. Gonna sleep now. Tml I shall make alot of people hate me. I shall tell u all why I am an avid supporter of piracy.
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