It's only my opinion, but I count this as Mason Adams last great scene in Toobworld.
ACT ONE
FADE IN: INT. THE SUPREME COURT - JUSTICE CROUCH’S OFFICE - DAY
The retiring Supreme Court Justice JOSEPH CROUCH is with President Bartlet.
BARTLET
You’re too young to retire, Joseph.
CROUCH[laughs]
You’re an excellent liar, Mr. President.
BARTLET[chuckling]
Yes sir.
CROUCH
You’re gonna go with Harrison?
BARTLET
He’s on the short list.
CROUCH
Yeah?
BARTLET
Yeah.
CROUCH
With how many other names?
BARTLET
We’ll make our announcement on Thursday.
CROUCH
You’ve decided on Harrison.
BARTLET
I haven’t made a decision yet, Joseph.
CROUCH
You’ve made the call. [beat] Did you even consider Mendoza?
BARTLET
Mendoza was on the short list.
CROUCH
Mendoza was on the short list so you can show you had an Hispanic on the short list.
BARTLET
That’s not true, Joseph.
CROUCH
You ran great guns in the campaign. It was an insurgency, boy, a sight to see. And then you drove to the middle of the road the moment after you took the oath. Just the middle of the road. Nothing but a long line painted yellow.
BARTLET
Excuse me, sir...
CROUCH
I wanted to retire five years ago. But I waited for a Democrat. I wanted a Democrat. Hmm! And instead I got you.
('THE WEST WING' - "THE SHORT LIST")
Of his best-known role in Toobworld, that of Charlie Hume, the managing editor of the Los Angeles Tribune, the one moment that has stuck with me through all these years was from the first episode.
While presenting 'Lou Grant' to the imperious owner of the Trib, Mrs. Margaret Pynchon, Charlie started blowing air kisses to the little "yap-dogs" she kept by her side.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
GOODBYE, CHARLIE
THE ADAMS CHRONICLES
As a tip of the Hat Squad, here's a list of the work Mason Adams did in Toobworld.
"From the Earth to the Moon" (1998) (mini) TV Series .... Clinton Anderson
"Murder One: Diary of a Serial Killer" (1997) (mini) TV Series .... Sidney Pomerantz
Assault at West Point: The Court-Martial of Johnson Whittaker (1994) (TV) .... Henry Hyde
Jonathan: The Boy Nobody Wanted (1992) (TV) .... Judge Colbert
Perry Mason: The Case of the Maligned Mobster (1991) (TV) .... Frank Halloran
"Knight & Daye" (1989) TV Series .... Everett Daye
"A Quiet Conspiracy" (1989) (mini) TV Series .... Gen. Luther Novack
Rage of Angels: The Story Continues (1986) (TV) .... Father Francis Ryan
Who Is Julia? (1986) (TV) .... Dr. Gordon
Northstar (1986) (TV) .... Dr. Karl Janss
"Morningstar/Eveningstar" (1986) TV Series .... Gordon Blair
Under Siege (1986) (TV) .... Geoffrey Wiggins
The Night They Saved Christmas (1984) (TV) .... Sumner Murdock
Passions (1984) (TV) .... Ron Sandler
Solomon Northup's Odyssey (1984) (TV) .... Ford
Adam (1983) (TV) .... Ray Mellette
The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat (1982) (TV) (voice) .... The Cat in the Hat
The Kid with the Broken Halo (1982) (TV) .... Harry Tannenbaum
"Freedom to Speak" (1982) (mini) TV Series .... Samuel Adams/Hugo Black/Clarence Darrow/William O. Douglas/William Allen White/Woodrow Wilson
Peking Encounter (1981) (TV) .... Clyde
Revenge of the Stepford Wives (1980) (TV) .... Wally
Murder Can Hurt You (1980) (TV) .... Willie the Wino
Flamingo Road (1980) (TV) .... Elmo Tyson
A Shining Season (1979) (TV) .... Dr. Ed Johnson
And Baby Makes Six (1979) (TV) .... Dr. Losen
"Lou Grant" (1977) TV Series .... Charles 'Charlie' Hume
The Deadliest Season (1977) (TV) .... Bill Cavins
"Another World" (1964) TV Series .... Dr. Frank Prescott (1976-1977)
AS A NARRATOR
American Drinks: History in a Glass (1999) (TV) (voice) .... Narrator
American Eats: History on a Bun (1998) (TV) (voice) .... Narrator
Norman Rockwell: An American Portrait (1987) (TV) .... Narrator
The Whimsical World of Oz (1985) (TV) (voice) .... Himself/Narrator
THE GUEST STAR ROLES
"Oz" playing "Mr. Hoyt" in episode: "Exeunt Omnes" (episode # 6.8) 23 February 2003
"The West Wing" playing "Justice Joseph Crouch" in episode: "The Short List" (episode # 1.9) 24 November 1999
"Murder One" playing "Sidney Pomerantz" in episode: "Chapter Thirteen, Year Two" (episode # 2.13) 25 May 1997
"Class of '96" playing "President Harris" in episode: "Pilot" (episode # 1.1) 19 January 1993
"Civil Wars" in episode: "Chute First, Ask Questions Later" (episode # 1.14) 24 March 1992
"Family Matters" playing "Judge Vance" in episode: "Citizen's Court" (episode # 3.6) 25 October 1991
"Monsters" in episode: "A New Woman" (episode # 3.12) 16 December 1990
"Murder, She Wrote" playing "Roger Philby" in episode: "The Search for Peter Kerry" (episode # 5.11) 5 February 1989
"Matlock" playing "Bob Ranier" in episode: "The Heiress" (episode # 2.23) 3 May 1988
"Family Ties" playing "Professor Lloyd Rhodes" in episode: "Paper Lion" (episode # 5.11) 11 December 1986
"The Love Boat" playing "Richard Simmons" in episode: "Country Cousin Blues/Daddy's Little Girl/Jackpot" (episode # 5.5) 31 October 1981
"Robert Montgomery Presents" playing "Mr. Watkins" in episode: "A Matter of Dignity" (episode # 6.25) 7 March 1955
"The Man Behind the Badge" playing "Conrad" in episode: "The Case of the Phantom Fire" (episode # 1.42) 25 July 1954
COMMERCIAL WORK
TV commercial for Mattel Aquarius Home Computer (limited test markets). (1980s)
TV commercials for Nuprin pain reliever (late 1980s)
Radio and TV commercials for Smuckers products (voice) for decades
Has been the voice of the Cadbury Egg commericals for years.
Charlie Hume, 'Lou Grant'. Justice Crouch, 'The West Wing'.....
Personally, my connection to him is from a TV movie in 1977, 'The Deadliest Season'. I was one of the hordes shipped over from UConn's drama department to be hockey fans for all of the game scenes.
It's a movie that puts me one step away from Kevin Bacon.
But his work for Smucker's over the years will forever echo in my mind. I can't summon the voices of departed family, but I'll always hear Mason Adams.
I know. I'm a sad case.....
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
As a tip of the Hat Squad, here's a list of the work Mason Adams did in Toobworld.
"From the Earth to the Moon" (1998) (mini) TV Series .... Clinton Anderson
"Murder One: Diary of a Serial Killer" (1997) (mini) TV Series .... Sidney Pomerantz
Assault at West Point: The Court-Martial of Johnson Whittaker (1994) (TV) .... Henry Hyde
Jonathan: The Boy Nobody Wanted (1992) (TV) .... Judge Colbert
Perry Mason: The Case of the Maligned Mobster (1991) (TV) .... Frank Halloran
"Knight & Daye" (1989) TV Series .... Everett Daye
"A Quiet Conspiracy" (1989) (mini) TV Series .... Gen. Luther Novack
Rage of Angels: The Story Continues (1986) (TV) .... Father Francis Ryan
Who Is Julia? (1986) (TV) .... Dr. Gordon
Northstar (1986) (TV) .... Dr. Karl Janss
"Morningstar/Eveningstar" (1986) TV Series .... Gordon Blair
Under Siege (1986) (TV) .... Geoffrey Wiggins
The Night They Saved Christmas (1984) (TV) .... Sumner Murdock
Passions (1984) (TV) .... Ron Sandler
Solomon Northup's Odyssey (1984) (TV) .... Ford
Adam (1983) (TV) .... Ray Mellette
The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat (1982) (TV) (voice) .... The Cat in the Hat
The Kid with the Broken Halo (1982) (TV) .... Harry Tannenbaum
"Freedom to Speak" (1982) (mini) TV Series .... Samuel Adams/Hugo Black/Clarence Darrow/William O. Douglas/William Allen White/Woodrow Wilson
Peking Encounter (1981) (TV) .... Clyde
Revenge of the Stepford Wives (1980) (TV) .... Wally
Murder Can Hurt You (1980) (TV) .... Willie the Wino
Flamingo Road (1980) (TV) .... Elmo Tyson
A Shining Season (1979) (TV) .... Dr. Ed Johnson
And Baby Makes Six (1979) (TV) .... Dr. Losen
"Lou Grant" (1977) TV Series .... Charles 'Charlie' Hume
The Deadliest Season (1977) (TV) .... Bill Cavins
"Another World" (1964) TV Series .... Dr. Frank Prescott (1976-1977)
AS A NARRATOR
American Drinks: History in a Glass (1999) (TV) (voice) .... Narrator
American Eats: History on a Bun (1998) (TV) (voice) .... Narrator
Norman Rockwell: An American Portrait (1987) (TV) .... Narrator
The Whimsical World of Oz (1985) (TV) (voice) .... Himself/Narrator
THE GUEST STAR ROLES
"Oz" playing "Mr. Hoyt" in episode: "Exeunt Omnes" (episode # 6.8) 23 February 2003
"The West Wing" playing "Justice Joseph Crouch" in episode: "The Short List" (episode # 1.9) 24 November 1999
"Murder One" playing "Sidney Pomerantz" in episode: "Chapter Thirteen, Year Two" (episode # 2.13) 25 May 1997
"Class of '96" playing "President Harris" in episode: "Pilot" (episode # 1.1) 19 January 1993
"Civil Wars" in episode: "Chute First, Ask Questions Later" (episode # 1.14) 24 March 1992
"Family Matters" playing "Judge Vance" in episode: "Citizen's Court" (episode # 3.6) 25 October 1991
"Monsters" in episode: "A New Woman" (episode # 3.12) 16 December 1990
"Murder, She Wrote" playing "Roger Philby" in episode: "The Search for Peter Kerry" (episode # 5.11) 5 February 1989
"Matlock" playing "Bob Ranier" in episode: "The Heiress" (episode # 2.23) 3 May 1988
"Family Ties" playing "Professor Lloyd Rhodes" in episode: "Paper Lion" (episode # 5.11) 11 December 1986
"The Love Boat" playing "Richard Simmons" in episode: "Country Cousin Blues/Daddy's Little Girl/Jackpot" (episode # 5.5) 31 October 1981
"Robert Montgomery Presents" playing "Mr. Watkins" in episode: "A Matter of Dignity" (episode # 6.25) 7 March 1955
"The Man Behind the Badge" playing "Conrad" in episode: "The Case of the Phantom Fire" (episode # 1.42) 25 July 1954
COMMERCIAL WORK
TV commercial for Mattel Aquarius Home Computer (limited test markets). (1980s)
TV commercials for Nuprin pain reliever (late 1980s)
Radio and TV commercials for Smuckers products (voice) for decades
Has been the voice of the Cadbury Egg commericals for years.
Charlie Hume, 'Lou Grant'. Justice Crouch, 'The West Wing'.....
Personally, my connection to him is from a TV movie in 1977, 'The Deadliest Season'. I was one of the hordes shipped over from UConn's drama department to be hockey fans for all of the game scenes.
It's a movie that puts me one step away from Kevin Bacon.
But his work for Smucker's over the years will forever echo in my mind. I can't summon the voices of departed family, but I'll always hear Mason Adams.
I know. I'm a sad case.....
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
I am 21 now!
Yay so happy! It is my 21st birthday!
A big sincere thank you to everyone who have wished me Happy birthday, I really appreciate it! Hao kai xin! I am a big girl now!
I'm going over to my chalet soon, and to everyone else coming, here's how you go:
By Car
If you're coming from the north, take SLE/TPE, and exit to Loyang Ave (towards Changi Village). *Go along Loyang Ave (it's quite a long and windy route) and turn left into Cranwell Road. Our chalets are sprouted along Cranwell, Gosport, Andover, Leuchars, Catterick, Netheravon, Halton, Sealand and Biggin Hill Roads. You can check out our map to see where your chalet is located and follow the routes laid out there.
If you're coming from the west, you can either take AYE/ECP or PIE to TPE/SLE, and exit to Loyang Ave (towards Changi Village). The rest is similar to above directions.
---------------------------
By Train & Bus
Take the east bound train to Tampines MRT station. From there, you can take Bus 29. You can check our map to see where you should alight, depending on where your chalet is located.
For checking in, please come to the reception office along Netheravon Road.
The map here.
My chalet is the one marked NB, so if you are taking a bus, can stop outside the reception.
****************************
My chalet is at Aloha Changi, Netheravon Terrace A.
Reach at 630pm on 29th April (fri)(Or later if you have work, it is fine).
Theme: Pink! Anything pink!
I had a theme in mind actually, and I wanted to organise a "Two-piece clothing party", meaning you cannot enter the party wearing more than two pieces of clothing.
And if you wear a hat, you get a door gift.
I don't think everyone's game for that though, so let's make it such that everyone wears at least a piece of pink! Ok no pink then red also can. =) If you don't have either, you shall have to be the person doing the barbecue. Wahahaha!
For my friends who are coming, please RSVP by today (I have not invited everyone yet and I apologize to people who messaged me on my starhub as my phone is spoilt and I can't see it - but it is ok now).
Ok this is what is important: Blog readers, I am sorry I cannot let you guys into the chalet. I don't know the amount of people coming (I suspect a very little amount actually, Changi is so far), I don't know what intentions the eviler of you might have and all... =( I actually got hatemail for my birthday. How nice of some people hor? Weili shall be my bodyguard.
All I can do for you visitors is to, erm, provide a cup of drink and say thanks for coming, and that's about it. But do come if you want to, I have gone for a nice tan (everyone says I look nicer) and also highlighted my hair blonde! Haha... Pretty for turning 21!
Kelvin also suggests I make the famous people who will be there wear tags. Eileen (wee), Adrian, mrbrown and Mr Miyagi will have to agree to that coz it is my birthday, yay!!! Ping hui (Yes, we are actually real life friends, and shagging him as a lifetime goal was a private joke) said he might, though possibly not, go! So fun right?
I am so excited.
Shit, I've got no alcohol. Bring your own if you want to drink!
p/s: I said blog readers can come if you want to, but I cannot allow you guys to all stay lah, coz of safely reasons. =) Sorry if you guys misunderstood! But then again, what's the fun of coming if you don't gatecrash? So no, don't come ah! Cannot come!
A big sincere thank you to everyone who have wished me Happy birthday, I really appreciate it! Hao kai xin! I am a big girl now!
I'm going over to my chalet soon, and to everyone else coming, here's how you go:
By Car
If you're coming from the north, take SLE/TPE, and exit to Loyang Ave (towards Changi Village). *Go along Loyang Ave (it's quite a long and windy route) and turn left into Cranwell Road. Our chalets are sprouted along Cranwell, Gosport, Andover, Leuchars, Catterick, Netheravon, Halton, Sealand and Biggin Hill Roads. You can check out our map to see where your chalet is located and follow the routes laid out there.
If you're coming from the west, you can either take AYE/ECP or PIE to TPE/SLE, and exit to Loyang Ave (towards Changi Village). The rest is similar to above directions.
---------------------------
By Train & Bus
Take the east bound train to Tampines MRT station. From there, you can take Bus 29. You can check our map to see where you should alight, depending on where your chalet is located.
For checking in, please come to the reception office along Netheravon Road.
The map here.
My chalet is the one marked NB, so if you are taking a bus, can stop outside the reception.
****************************
Reach at 630pm on 29th April (fri)(Or later if you have work, it is fine).
Theme: Pink! Anything pink!
I had a theme in mind actually, and I wanted to organise a "Two-piece clothing party", meaning you cannot enter the party wearing more than two pieces of clothing.
And if you wear a hat, you get a door gift.
I don't think everyone's game for that though, so let's make it such that everyone wears at least a piece of pink! Ok no pink then red also can. =) If you don't have either, you shall have to be the person doing the barbecue. Wahahaha!
For my friends who are coming, please RSVP by today (I have not invited everyone yet and I apologize to people who messaged me on my starhub as my phone is spoilt and I can't see it - but it is ok now).
Ok this is what is important: Blog readers, I am sorry I cannot let you guys into the chalet. I don't know the amount of people coming (I suspect a very little amount actually, Changi is so far), I don't know what intentions the eviler of you might have and all... =( I actually got hatemail for my birthday. How nice of some people hor? Weili shall be my bodyguard.
All I can do for you visitors is to, erm, provide a cup of drink and say thanks for coming, and that's about it. But do come if you want to, I have gone for a nice tan (everyone says I look nicer) and also highlighted my hair blonde! Haha... Pretty for turning 21!
Kelvin also suggests I make the famous people who will be there wear tags. Eileen (wee), Adrian, mrbrown and Mr Miyagi will have to agree to that coz it is my birthday, yay!!! Ping hui (Yes, we are actually real life friends, and shagging him as a lifetime goal was a private joke) said he might, though possibly not, go! So fun right?
I am so excited.
Shit, I've got no alcohol. Bring your own if you want to drink!
p/s: I said blog readers can come if you want to, but I cannot allow you guys to all stay lah, coz of safely reasons. =) Sorry if you guys misunderstood! But then again, what's the fun of coming if you don't gatecrash? So no, don't come ah! Cannot come!
NEWS OF THE TOOB
A consortium of high-profile European producers involved in the CBS miniseries 'Jesus' five years ago put out feelers to the network regarding a pope project (The Robins Report, April 18). The project has been well-received at CBS and is a likely go.
Insiders caution that nothing has been signed yet, but there’s already talk about casting. (The European producers have already reached out to Liam Neeson and Paul Newman, but nobody has been signed yet to play the pontiff.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The producer of "Sahara" is turning 'The Equalizer', which starred Edward Woodward on CBS in the mid-80s, into a big screen adventure. The big fear online is that they will cast somebody too young for the role.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith" director George Lucas drops in on "The O.C." May 12th, a week before the movie opens.
Lucas will guest star as himself on the episode, in which Summer makes Zach and Seth decide which one of them gets to take her to Harbor High's prom. But when Lucas expresses interest in Seth's graphic novel, Seth is forced to choose between taking Summer to the prom and dinner with Lucas.
In a way, this will put George Lucas in the same class as Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, and Arthur Conan Doyle - existing as a character in Toobworld alongside the characters he created, since the world of "Star Wars" is already a part of the TV Universe.
And it will become even more ingrained into the fabric of that universe as Lucas plans two TV series in the coming years. One will be animated and in 3D, probably continuing the Clone Wars theme. And the other will be live action, similar in concept to 'The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles'.
~~~~~~~
Tamzin Outhwaite is set to take a sexy leading role in a new BBC drama. The former 'EastEnders' star will play the manager of the five-star London hotel called 'Hotel Babylon'. It will be an eight part series due out next year. That will add another prime piece of real estate to TV Land!
~~~~~~~~~
Crossover alert!According to "Ask Ausiello" in TV Guide's online site, "ADA Novak ('Special Victims Unit') gets assaulted in the line of duty on May 3. The drama will then spill over onto 'Trial By Jury' on May 6.
~~~~~~~~
The planned follow-up to Inspector Morse may not go ahead, according to The Mirror.
Kevin Whately, who played Morse's sidekick Lewis, has revealed that the series has been discussed over the past year, but he remains undecided about whether to appear.
"There is no commitment on my part yet, but if this drama happened, it would have to be very different from Morse," Whately told the newspaper.
"My problem is that it would have to be good enough to succeed in its own right. If the script isn't good enough - and in this case different enough from what has gone before then forget it, don't do it."
He added, "It wouldn't be called After Morse - definitely not."
If it's about life after Inspector Morse's death, we can consider it a sequel and belonging on Earth Prime Time. If they recast Morse, then it will be shunted off to Earth Prime Time-Delay.
~~~~~~~~~
More sequel news.....BBC comedy 'Blackadder' will return for its fifth series next year.
Seventeen years after 'Blackadder Goes Forth', Rowan Atkinson and Tony Robinson will reprise their roles as Blackadder and Baldrick. Writer Richard Curtis told the Daily Express of the show's return: "We'd always said we'd do it, and yes we definitely still want to."
I've always wanted to see a modern-day descendant of Edward Blackadder show up in some American sitcom, just as a guest star. Maybe some day.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally......Will Ferrell will be making another TV-based theatrical film, this time derived from the Sid & Marty Krofft Saturday morning adventure show 'The Land Of The Lost'. He'll play the ranger role, but in this "Cineversal" version, there'll be no kids.
(To me, that's a big mistake. They could increase their audience if they gave kids somebody to identify with.)
At any rate, it won't have any effect on 'The Land Of The Lost' in Toobworld (where we believe the Sleestaks are related to the Gorn of 'Star Trek').
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Insiders caution that nothing has been signed yet, but there’s already talk about casting. (The European producers have already reached out to Liam Neeson and Paul Newman, but nobody has been signed yet to play the pontiff.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The producer of "Sahara" is turning 'The Equalizer', which starred Edward Woodward on CBS in the mid-80s, into a big screen adventure. The big fear online is that they will cast somebody too young for the role.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith" director George Lucas drops in on "The O.C." May 12th, a week before the movie opens.
Lucas will guest star as himself on the episode, in which Summer makes Zach and Seth decide which one of them gets to take her to Harbor High's prom. But when Lucas expresses interest in Seth's graphic novel, Seth is forced to choose between taking Summer to the prom and dinner with Lucas.
In a way, this will put George Lucas in the same class as Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, and Arthur Conan Doyle - existing as a character in Toobworld alongside the characters he created, since the world of "Star Wars" is already a part of the TV Universe.
And it will become even more ingrained into the fabric of that universe as Lucas plans two TV series in the coming years. One will be animated and in 3D, probably continuing the Clone Wars theme. And the other will be live action, similar in concept to 'The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles'.
~~~~~~~
Tamzin Outhwaite is set to take a sexy leading role in a new BBC drama. The former 'EastEnders' star will play the manager of the five-star London hotel called 'Hotel Babylon'. It will be an eight part series due out next year. That will add another prime piece of real estate to TV Land!
~~~~~~~~~
Crossover alert!According to "Ask Ausiello" in TV Guide's online site, "ADA Novak ('Special Victims Unit') gets assaulted in the line of duty on May 3. The drama will then spill over onto 'Trial By Jury' on May 6.
~~~~~~~~
The planned follow-up to Inspector Morse may not go ahead, according to The Mirror.
Kevin Whately, who played Morse's sidekick Lewis, has revealed that the series has been discussed over the past year, but he remains undecided about whether to appear.
"There is no commitment on my part yet, but if this drama happened, it would have to be very different from Morse," Whately told the newspaper.
"My problem is that it would have to be good enough to succeed in its own right. If the script isn't good enough - and in this case different enough from what has gone before then forget it, don't do it."
He added, "It wouldn't be called After Morse - definitely not."
If it's about life after Inspector Morse's death, we can consider it a sequel and belonging on Earth Prime Time. If they recast Morse, then it will be shunted off to Earth Prime Time-Delay.
~~~~~~~~~
More sequel news.....BBC comedy 'Blackadder' will return for its fifth series next year.
Seventeen years after 'Blackadder Goes Forth', Rowan Atkinson and Tony Robinson will reprise their roles as Blackadder and Baldrick. Writer Richard Curtis told the Daily Express of the show's return: "We'd always said we'd do it, and yes we definitely still want to."
I've always wanted to see a modern-day descendant of Edward Blackadder show up in some American sitcom, just as a guest star. Maybe some day.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally......Will Ferrell will be making another TV-based theatrical film, this time derived from the Sid & Marty Krofft Saturday morning adventure show 'The Land Of The Lost'. He'll play the ranger role, but in this "Cineversal" version, there'll be no kids.
(To me, that's a big mistake. They could increase their audience if they gave kids somebody to identify with.)
At any rate, it won't have any effect on 'The Land Of The Lost' in Toobworld (where we believe the Sleestaks are related to the Gorn of 'Star Trek').
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
FROM MY CROSSOVER COMPADRE
If you look to the left hand side of this page, you'll see two websites listed near the top: "Crossovers & Spinoffs" and "Crossovers via Tommy Westphall". These two sites are the best when it comes to listing the official links between various series in the TV Universe.
The one that supports Tom Fontana's contention that ALL TV shows are to be found within Tommy's autistic mind on 'St. Elsewhere' appears to list more shows, but Thom Holbrooke's page goes into greater detail about many of them.
But neither of them deal with the connections between the shows where real-life people appear as fictional versions of themselves, or between shows that use real game shows and reality series as their settings, that sort of thing. So that's where I come in. With Inner Toob, I fill in the blanks, the cracks in the unified whole. With those theoretical crossovers and "missing links", I supply the cosmic caulking.
But it just might be that Thom's finally viewing things my way!
http://www.poobala.com/magnumand50.html
At that page, you'll find an excellent splainin as to why 'Magnum P.I.' and 'Hawaii Five-0' should be considered as being in the same TV dimension. It's the type of logic we would have used over here.
It's just a shame his theory about a connection between 'Magnum P.I.' and 'Quantum Leap' couldn't work out.
Anyway, check it out. His articles about crossovers are always entertaining.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
The one that supports Tom Fontana's contention that ALL TV shows are to be found within Tommy's autistic mind on 'St. Elsewhere' appears to list more shows, but Thom Holbrooke's page goes into greater detail about many of them.
But neither of them deal with the connections between the shows where real-life people appear as fictional versions of themselves, or between shows that use real game shows and reality series as their settings, that sort of thing. So that's where I come in. With Inner Toob, I fill in the blanks, the cracks in the unified whole. With those theoretical crossovers and "missing links", I supply the cosmic caulking.
But it just might be that Thom's finally viewing things my way!
http://www.poobala.com/magnumand50.html
At that page, you'll find an excellent splainin as to why 'Magnum P.I.' and 'Hawaii Five-0' should be considered as being in the same TV dimension. It's the type of logic we would have used over here.
It's just a shame his theory about a connection between 'Magnum P.I.' and 'Quantum Leap' couldn't work out.
Anyway, check it out. His articles about crossovers are always entertaining.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
It is my 21st birthday!!!
I am very sian to write this out coz Shuyin is at my place then I feel obligated to entertain her by swallowing that sword in the cupboard and blowing some fire and juggling things, but yeah, I understand that some friends are lost and don't know what to get for me, and my birthday is this coming Thursday (though party on Friday) and if I don't wanna receive shitty gifts (Wong: Pink toilet roll holder with a picture of a cat) I'd better make disclaimers nowwwwww!
Ok here goes!~! My wishlist!
1) AIRCON!
An aircon! I've been complaining since goodness knows when. Whenever my friends come stay over or when the occasional filming takes place, people burn. My mom has an aircon in her room, why can't I get one?
If you are thinking that it is improbable that you bring an aircon to my chalet to give it to me ... You can always ask people to contribute to an aircon fund and pass it to me in an angpow, or you can always pass me some sanyo vouchers.
Yes, I want the removable/window kind.
2) ESPADRILLES!
Or rather, shoes with straw-like heels and strings to tie around the ankles. If you can find any decent espadrilles with at least a 4 inch heel (yes I am that short), please let me know, or better yet, buy for me! Yay!
Haiz, so nice ... It cannot be found in Singapore, I have no idea why! This sucks. A simple pair of shoes ...
Topshop has a pair of green and white ones which I quite like, but it is sold at an exorbitant price of $95 and well, it is quite ridiculous to pay so much for something to wear on your feet ...
I'm a size 4 or 5.
3) A diamond encrusted XIAXUE necklace!
Shuyin says she will go buy diamantes and stick on for me, so yeah, this is booked. Bah!
4) A slow loris!!
Wah! This photo is super old-school! I cannot stand it! How come my eyebrows look like that? Anyway, I'm not the star of the photo, it is that creature!
Very cute right? It is a slow loris (no fast jokes please)! Please get a baby loris for me please please please! I promise I wouldn't let Cloudy eat it up.
Kelvin said the loris is very ugly and he wouldn't buy it for me. He said he'd rather get me a bat, since the loris looks like a bat, and I can have the option of breaking off the wings if I don't want him with wings.
SO MEAN!!
5) Sex with an elf
Only one person can grant me this, and you know who you are, Mr Bloom.
6) A silver-pink SLK
Pardon the bad photoshop
No other colour if you want to buy me this! Perferably, you can wrap the sweetie up in giant gold satin ribbons and surprise me (I know I will not longer be surprised, but shut up) by swinging the keys with a cheeky grin and I'd hop onto you and rush to the car with a crazy degree of happiness.
Never mind the fact that I can't drive. One can dream, can't she?!
7) A doctor stripper for my bdae
Oooooh Oh my gosh! I love doctors. Intellectual men are fucking sexy! I get damn aroused by men spelling and pronouncing difficult words! Gimme medical terms! Hebephrenic! Onomatopoeia! Phlegm! Wah, I like!
No, I would not like Steven Lim at my party, because he looks way too vapid to pass off as a smart doctor.
Perferably with penis veins!
Ok about penis veins. What are they, exactly? See the scrolling marquee?
Fine, it is rather annoying and no one looks at it. But this!
The last picture? That's penis veins, courtesy of Mr Justin Timberlake. So fucking sexy ay? :D
I cannot think of anything else I really want at the moment, except maybe a sponsored package to permanent full body hair removal, my enemies assasinated, full extermination of stupid people, etc.
If you are thinking of buying something else, then here's what NOT to buy:
1) Perlini's Silver.
I hate nondescript, boring jewellery. I also hate mindless gifts - which is what Perlini's is the epitome of. No perlini's. If you want to get jewellery, my favourite is from Forever 21, and buy Gold instead of silver.
Chunky ones. =)
2) Anything Blue
Yes I know you know what blue is like, but to emphasize... I HATE THAT COLOUR. I hate it to a vengence. Anything blue, I wouldn't wear. Well ok, maybe except Levi's ... Which in this case is length 30, waist 25... And low rise.
3) Too flat shoes
I don't wear flat shoes.
4) Cutesy stuff
Oh, so cute! *Slaps bear off the table*
NO! No stuff toys! I am no longer 20!
5) Perfume.
I have already!
***********
Ok I think that's about it. I like pink, bags, make up (from Mac!), books (funny green ones), gadgets (I need a new camera/palm/handphonnnnnne - 8910 went bust) and clothes (size S) and money and sex and food and WAH A LOT OF THINGS!!
If you just want to give me the ultimate gift that can buy everything else, you can transfer money to 175-22104-2 POSB savings, or .... Email me if you want to send anything by post and I'd give you my dad's office address!
I suppose if you want to be really funny you can buy for me Localbrand t-shirts, or a copy of Maxim. (Note: it is not really very funny)
I've got to go, I'd put the details of the chalet in a bit.
Ok here goes!~! My wishlist!
1) AIRCON!
An aircon! I've been complaining since goodness knows when. Whenever my friends come stay over or when the occasional filming takes place, people burn. My mom has an aircon in her room, why can't I get one?
If you are thinking that it is improbable that you bring an aircon to my chalet to give it to me ... You can always ask people to contribute to an aircon fund and pass it to me in an angpow, or you can always pass me some sanyo vouchers.
Yes, I want the removable/window kind.
2) ESPADRILLES!
Or rather, shoes with straw-like heels and strings to tie around the ankles. If you can find any decent espadrilles with at least a 4 inch heel (yes I am that short), please let me know, or better yet, buy for me! Yay!
Haiz, so nice ... It cannot be found in Singapore, I have no idea why! This sucks. A simple pair of shoes ...
Topshop has a pair of green and white ones which I quite like, but it is sold at an exorbitant price of $95 and well, it is quite ridiculous to pay so much for something to wear on your feet ...
I'm a size 4 or 5.
3) A diamond encrusted XIAXUE necklace!
Shuyin says she will go buy diamantes and stick on for me, so yeah, this is booked. Bah!
4) A slow loris!!
Wah! This photo is super old-school! I cannot stand it! How come my eyebrows look like that? Anyway, I'm not the star of the photo, it is that creature!
Very cute right? It is a slow loris (no fast jokes please)! Please get a baby loris for me please please please! I promise I wouldn't let Cloudy eat it up.
Kelvin said the loris is very ugly and he wouldn't buy it for me. He said he'd rather get me a bat, since the loris looks like a bat, and I can have the option of breaking off the wings if I don't want him with wings.
SO MEAN!!
5) Sex with an elf
Only one person can grant me this, and you know who you are, Mr Bloom.
6) A silver-pink SLK
Pardon the bad photoshop
No other colour if you want to buy me this! Perferably, you can wrap the sweetie up in giant gold satin ribbons and surprise me (I know I will not longer be surprised, but shut up) by swinging the keys with a cheeky grin and I'd hop onto you and rush to the car with a crazy degree of happiness.
Never mind the fact that I can't drive. One can dream, can't she?!
7) A doctor stripper for my bdae
Oooooh Oh my gosh! I love doctors. Intellectual men are fucking sexy! I get damn aroused by men spelling and pronouncing difficult words! Gimme medical terms! Hebephrenic! Onomatopoeia! Phlegm! Wah, I like!
No, I would not like Steven Lim at my party, because he looks way too vapid to pass off as a smart doctor.
Perferably with penis veins!
Ok about penis veins. What are they, exactly? See the scrolling marquee?
Fine, it is rather annoying and no one looks at it. But this!
The last picture? That's penis veins, courtesy of Mr Justin Timberlake. So fucking sexy ay? :D
I cannot think of anything else I really want at the moment, except maybe a sponsored package to permanent full body hair removal, my enemies assasinated, full extermination of stupid people, etc.
If you are thinking of buying something else, then here's what NOT to buy:
1) Perlini's Silver.
I hate nondescript, boring jewellery. I also hate mindless gifts - which is what Perlini's is the epitome of. No perlini's. If you want to get jewellery, my favourite is from Forever 21, and buy Gold instead of silver.
Chunky ones. =)
2) Anything Blue
Yes I know you know what blue is like, but to emphasize... I HATE THAT COLOUR. I hate it to a vengence. Anything blue, I wouldn't wear. Well ok, maybe except Levi's ... Which in this case is length 30, waist 25... And low rise.
3) Too flat shoes
I don't wear flat shoes.
4) Cutesy stuff
Oh, so cute! *Slaps bear off the table*
NO! No stuff toys! I am no longer 20!
5) Perfume.
I have already!
***********
Ok I think that's about it. I like pink, bags, make up (from Mac!), books (funny green ones), gadgets (I need a new camera/palm/handphonnnnnne - 8910 went bust) and clothes (size S) and money and sex and food and WAH A LOT OF THINGS!!
If you just want to give me the ultimate gift that can buy everything else, you can transfer money to 175-22104-2 POSB savings, or .... Email me if you want to send anything by post and I'd give you my dad's office address!
I suppose if you want to be really funny you can buy for me Localbrand t-shirts, or a copy of Maxim. (Note: it is not really very funny)
I've got to go, I'd put the details of the chalet in a bit.
Monday, April 25, 2005
CROSSOVER OF THE WEEK
'THE SIMPSONS' & 'FUTURAMA'
The Future is fluid, ever-changing. This is why those prophecies of Nostradamus and St. Malachy retained their believability over the centuries. They were so couched in mystical, ambiguous symbolism that they could be interpreted to mean anything. Had those prophecies been nailed down to be something specific, the jig would be up.
Once somebody is made aware of a specific future, that future will change because of that knowledge. Either efforts would be undertaken to change it, or to ensure that it comes to pass. And that would send off ripples in the time-stream.
That's why the appearance of Bender Bending Rodriguez of 'Futurama' in last Sunday's episode of 'The Simpsons' can't be considered as actually having occurred.
Of course, mainly this is because it hasn 't happened yet - he appeared in a vision broadcast by Professor Frink on a machine that supposedly showed the future. By showing that future to Bart and Lisa Simpson, Frink caused it to be invalid, because both Bart and Lisa were determined to change the outcome.
During that vision of the future, Homer and Bart were driving along in the very first hovercar and they phased through the "Quantum Tunnel" - right through the side of the mountain as if it was a scene straight out of "Buckaroo Banzai". When they popped out the other side, they were joined by the robot Bender in the front seat... but only for a few seconds as Homer tossed him out onto the roadway to become so much scrap metal.
Ordinarily ths might be a problem for ol' Bender, as far as what his own future held 1000 years from now, but like I said, that future was null and void as soon as the characters involved became aware of it.
Still and all, even if it was a scene that would never happen once we saw it happen (ow! My head!), it was just great to be able to see Bender again in prime time and not relegated to the time loop of repeats on Adult Swim. And as such, this crossover between 'The Simpsons' and 'Futurama' (which also included a giant, aged "Blinky" the three-eyed fish) is the Crossover of the Week.
And who knows? Perhaps "eight years from Tuesday" it will once again be the Crossover of the Week!
If you've got complaints about that, you know what you can do (especially if you're a fan of 'Futurama').....
BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
The Future is fluid, ever-changing. This is why those prophecies of Nostradamus and St. Malachy retained their believability over the centuries. They were so couched in mystical, ambiguous symbolism that they could be interpreted to mean anything. Had those prophecies been nailed down to be something specific, the jig would be up.
Once somebody is made aware of a specific future, that future will change because of that knowledge. Either efforts would be undertaken to change it, or to ensure that it comes to pass. And that would send off ripples in the time-stream.
That's why the appearance of Bender Bending Rodriguez of 'Futurama' in last Sunday's episode of 'The Simpsons' can't be considered as actually having occurred.
Of course, mainly this is because it hasn 't happened yet - he appeared in a vision broadcast by Professor Frink on a machine that supposedly showed the future. By showing that future to Bart and Lisa Simpson, Frink caused it to be invalid, because both Bart and Lisa were determined to change the outcome.
During that vision of the future, Homer and Bart were driving along in the very first hovercar and they phased through the "Quantum Tunnel" - right through the side of the mountain as if it was a scene straight out of "Buckaroo Banzai". When they popped out the other side, they were joined by the robot Bender in the front seat... but only for a few seconds as Homer tossed him out onto the roadway to become so much scrap metal.
Ordinarily ths might be a problem for ol' Bender, as far as what his own future held 1000 years from now, but like I said, that future was null and void as soon as the characters involved became aware of it.
Still and all, even if it was a scene that would never happen once we saw it happen (ow! My head!), it was just great to be able to see Bender again in prime time and not relegated to the time loop of repeats on Adult Swim. And as such, this crossover between 'The Simpsons' and 'Futurama' (which also included a giant, aged "Blinky" the three-eyed fish) is the Crossover of the Week.
And who knows? Perhaps "eight years from Tuesday" it will once again be the Crossover of the Week!
If you've got complaints about that, you know what you can do (especially if you're a fan of 'Futurama').....
BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
WATCHING THE DETECTIVES
(Better yet: "CHECKING OUT THE DETECTIVES")
As part of the job which keeps the roof over my head (It's the study of "televisiology" which feeds my soul.), I come into contact with actors who have strong links in Toobworld. And today I met another, Richard Riehle.
Mr. Riehle's best-known role is that of Walt Finnerty, the grandfather on 'Grounded For Life'. This was the Staten Island-based sitcom that started out on FOX and finished up on The WB. I enjoyed this show a lot, especially its use of flashbacks to illustrate what led up to their current predicaments, and it was my... admiration for Megyn Price that first brought me to the show.
But after Mr. Riehle was dropped to recurring status and then one of the grandsons was practically "disappeared", the show lost much of its original appeal for me. And I let Mr. Riehle know he was a big part of why I liked that show.
I also mentioned where I first became aware of him as an actor - his role in the episode "Inner Light" of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation', which seemed to surprise him that I should remember that.
But after that, my brain was in meltdown and I couldn't think of any other credits. Well, there was one other one, but it wasn't a very good movie and I didn't want to embarrass him (or me, for having seen it!) by mentioning it.
My security officer on duty did remember him from 'The Fugitive' as the older guard, and we went to the IMDb.com to check out all of his credits. And that's where I realized I'm building up quite a specialized collection of contacts - police detectives from 'Columbo'.
Last year, I got to meet John Finnegan at the job and that was quite a big thrill. He's played a variety of roles on 'Columbo' - as the foreman at the construction site ("Blueprint For Murder"), a trash compacter engineer ("Most Crucial Match"), and the police commissioner ("Columbo Cries Wolf"). His best role was that of Lt. Duffy in the episode of "A Friend In Deed".
He called me a few weeks ago and asked me to help set up a favor for Bruce Kirby, who played Sgt. Kramer in a good chunk of 'Columbo' episodes starting with "By Dawn's Early Light".
Kirby will be celebrating his 80th birthday at the end of May, God bless him!, and I was happy to do what little I could. But two weeks ago, Mr. Kirby himself called to say that he had to cancel out for personal reasons. I offered to cancel out the preparations already done, but he said there was no need - he had already done so and was just calling to thank me for that (very) little that I had done. I thought that was a classy move.
And now I got to meet Richard Riehle who played Columbo's fellow investigator Sgt. Degarmo in two episodes: "Ashes To Ashes" (with the my second favorite actor Patrick McGoohan in his last of four outings as a murderer on 'Columbo'), and "Murder With Too Many Notes".
Who knows? Maybe during the course of the job I may still meet other actors who played 'Columbo' sergeants, like Warren Berlinger.
I know for sure I'll never be meeting "Dog", though!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
As part of the job which keeps the roof over my head (It's the study of "televisiology" which feeds my soul.), I come into contact with actors who have strong links in Toobworld. And today I met another, Richard Riehle.
Mr. Riehle's best-known role is that of Walt Finnerty, the grandfather on 'Grounded For Life'. This was the Staten Island-based sitcom that started out on FOX and finished up on The WB. I enjoyed this show a lot, especially its use of flashbacks to illustrate what led up to their current predicaments, and it was my... admiration for Megyn Price that first brought me to the show.
But after Mr. Riehle was dropped to recurring status and then one of the grandsons was practically "disappeared", the show lost much of its original appeal for me. And I let Mr. Riehle know he was a big part of why I liked that show.
I also mentioned where I first became aware of him as an actor - his role in the episode "Inner Light" of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation', which seemed to surprise him that I should remember that.
But after that, my brain was in meltdown and I couldn't think of any other credits. Well, there was one other one, but it wasn't a very good movie and I didn't want to embarrass him (or me, for having seen it!) by mentioning it.
My security officer on duty did remember him from 'The Fugitive' as the older guard, and we went to the IMDb.com to check out all of his credits. And that's where I realized I'm building up quite a specialized collection of contacts - police detectives from 'Columbo'.
Last year, I got to meet John Finnegan at the job and that was quite a big thrill. He's played a variety of roles on 'Columbo' - as the foreman at the construction site ("Blueprint For Murder"), a trash compacter engineer ("Most Crucial Match"), and the police commissioner ("Columbo Cries Wolf"). His best role was that of Lt. Duffy in the episode of "A Friend In Deed".
He called me a few weeks ago and asked me to help set up a favor for Bruce Kirby, who played Sgt. Kramer in a good chunk of 'Columbo' episodes starting with "By Dawn's Early Light".
Kirby will be celebrating his 80th birthday at the end of May, God bless him!, and I was happy to do what little I could. But two weeks ago, Mr. Kirby himself called to say that he had to cancel out for personal reasons. I offered to cancel out the preparations already done, but he said there was no need - he had already done so and was just calling to thank me for that (very) little that I had done. I thought that was a classy move.
And now I got to meet Richard Riehle who played Columbo's fellow investigator Sgt. Degarmo in two episodes: "Ashes To Ashes" (with the my second favorite actor Patrick McGoohan in his last of four outings as a murderer on 'Columbo'), and "Murder With Too Many Notes".
Who knows? Maybe during the course of the job I may still meet other actors who played 'Columbo' sergeants, like Warren Berlinger.
I know for sure I'll never be meeting "Dog", though!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
One of the most fucked up things
to ever happen in life, would be to have the guy you like fall for your best friend, no?
It sucks for so many reasons I don't even know where to begin. It sucks because it bruises your ego, it sucks because it causes a tension between you and your friend, and you start to think bad, evil stuff about your friend that you'd never have dreamt you would (i.e: What is so good about her? Her ass is so fat blah blah). It sucks because you can't sleep thinking - what if my friend likes him back? And would I lose her because of this ... etc.
The story of F and L comes into account here.
It happened so long ago, when we were just 17. F and Wong came to look for me while I was working for Ascend part-time (it's a shampoo brand and I was promoting it), and we had dinner together at KFC.
L and his bunch of friends were sitting a few metres away at that fruitful suntec outlet, and they were, well, blatantly staring.
If not for the fact that I was the only girl sitting facing them and F and Wong had their backs towards the guys, I'd never have even started to contemplate that L might have been looking at me.
Because F is so much prettier, and I know it.
But I sincerely did think he might have been looking at me.
And that made me very happy, because L was, then, dream guy material! He was totally what I'd sketch out on foolscap paper - the M hair (long fringe, centre parting. A bit toot now yes, but it was yr 2001 ok!), two dimples, bell bottomed jeans (retro sia!), and a white tee. All he needed was a pretty horse to prance on.
I had an eye and mouth feast that day at dinner, but of course, I didn't expect any follow-up actions.
When the three of us walked out to send me back to work, we found L's friend standing outside KFC waiting, and he swaggered (I have a vague impression he did coz he was an ah beng) over to us. L was nowhere to be seen.
That guy kept his eyes on F, and I was skipping inside, thinking that if he gets F's number then I can hit on L! Yay!
But no, he said that he was just helping L get F's number, which F did give in the end (I think because I asked her to).
I got genuinely depressed after that. Why is it that things like this happen? I started directing at anger at superficial men, which is totally unreasonable because 1) I cannot expect L to see beyond looks from a KFC dinner and 2) the only reason why I am feeling jealous is because I like him and he is handsome.
Since F had a boyfriend then and she was not interested in L, I told her to tell L that her number is about to be terminated, and to call me on my hp number (note for the slow: It means impersonation).
My plan was to play a prank on L. Very childish one ok, tell you first. I was to continue talking to him on the phone till he tells me that he likes me, in which after that I'd exclaim, "but you only like me because of my looks!" and after which he'd say, No, after talking for so many days he likes me coz of my character and after which I'd say, "so even if I am not pretty you'd still like me?" and after which he'd be obligated to say "Yes" and I'd go like, "TADAH! I am not F, I am YANYAN THAT UGLY GIRL WAHAHAHA!"
Very boh liao right.
So anyway, in case you wanted to know the plan flopped after two hours. I was talking to him, impersonating F's face with my own information, which meant that he thought F was working for Ascend as well. Which I think she actually did anyway.
Let's not go into confusing logistics now.
As it is I am not a dishonest person, and I did not feel good about lying. In any case my plan was brilliant to me then, and I wanted to share it with anyone I can talk to, which was only L. But of course I can't tell him about it.
So anyway, there he was telling me about the chemistry he felt for me and so on, and HE INSISTED ON COMING TO FIND ME AT WORK THE NEXT DAY (which I stupidly mentioned the venue)!!
Horrifying. If he comes, he'd find only me, and the expected disappointed face is more than I can bear. God did I feel lousy. Inferior and ugly, among other worse emotions.
After talking some more, I burst out the truth, and I think L was disgusted with that little, erm, harmless? prank.
Nonetheless, he was quite empathetic and was still civil to me. I whimpered, "So you not coming tomorrow already is it?", conveniently forgetting that he'd be obligated to say yes if I asked in that forlorn manner.
And so he did. It was a horrible dinner. He told me later that night that it is not about the looks but about the chemistry. He said he tried, but it just didn't feel correct.
I feel like "yeah right"ing, but I can see his POV (as in F and I were very different in character and the general "feel"), although it also stands that no normal guy would feel outright (only based on looks) chemistry for an ugly chick lah, cmon. Who are we kidding?
A month passed. L and I are no longer in contact (if truth be told, I didn't really get along that well with him, and yes, I admit there was a lack of chemistry). F has also broken up with her then boyfriend.
One day, I was out with F and we were supposed to meet a bunch of her friends. She couldn't answer her phone while it rang in the cubicle, so she passed it to me underneath the door.
By the time I answered, it had stopped ringing. I naturally pressed to see whose call I missed, and the whole list of missed calls appeared.
L's name was there.
I stood there stunned for a moment, and I asked, "You still keep in contact with L?!"
She mumbled yes, why? She then admited that she has been talking to him sometimes, but didn't tell me coz she is scared I get angry.
And angry I was. It wasn't the fact that she was talking to him, but that she delibrately hid it from me.
After a few weeks, they got together. She asked me if I am ok, but I don't really think I was. I don't know what is it that made me feel so lousy - maybe it was a slight sense of betrayal that she'd date someone whom I liked, or maybe I just felt lousy about myself....
Our friendship deteriorated from then on. I thought they'd last for a few months and things would mull over. But no ... It went on for four years and with the absence of contact for such a long period, we just cannot get back the closeness we used to share.
Yet I cannot blame her. Who am I to stop her from liking and being with him?
Up till today, that incident still makes me rather sad. Grey skies, lonely rooms and cellulite. =(
And well, that's only one occasion. Of course, some of you know that Adryan used to like F too. Some of you might be thinking, FUCK LAH, learn your lesson and stop hanging out with very good looking girls lah! But no! I am a fucking moth, I am. I get burned on one wing, and I get very angry and sit down at one corner and sulk while complaining to Shuyin on my starhub phone, then I decide to flutter to candlelight again and burn my leg.
Time and again it happens. Me introduce guy I like to girlfriend, guy falls for girlfriend. Whoop! So fun! Let's do it again! Me introduce guy I like to girlfriend, guy falls for girlfriend. Again, again!
STOP IT ALREADY!
It's not only F... In primary school it was another really pretty best friend, in secondary school it was F, then in poly it was June. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
"Hey your friend very pretty leh, can I get to know her?" NO! SHUT UP AND GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A CACTUS YOU FUCKING HORNY BASTARD!!!
Tamade.
What's my point?
My point is now, I am very paranoid about the guys I like liking my girlfriends. I get reminded of my painful past experiences, and I don't want to go near that ever again.
It causes tension, it causes pain, I'd never recover from the ego bruise --- and I might lose my girlfriend. Double that, because it is fucking DUI that I WAS THE IDIOT WHO INTRODUCED THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I introduced the guy I like to a girlfriend recently. Did I already said I am an incorrigible fucking stupid moth?
I realised that although they both behaved very normally (in fact far less touchy than they usually would have done - for my sake), I get super paranoid whenever they touch, or sit particularly close, or what's not. It gets on my nerves so much that I spiral into a horrible mood everytime it happens.
On the other hand, I did mention to the two of them that I don't like them being close, but who I am to command them to do anything for me? The guy is not my boyfriend (things have not changed so much for dream guy --- he still has the two dimples though not, thankfully, anything else mentioned above).
But I have a very good theory about this. There is, I always say, no need to bother about who is right and who is wrong, because it is not definitive.
There is, however, a certain known fact: which is that I'd get upset when they are close. Whether or not I have a right to get upset is one thing, but it remains true that if they know I'd get upset and still do it anyway, they have a blatantly disregard for my feelings -- which is just mean.
When she wanted to take a photo with him (nothing wrong with that), she and him secretly did the series of photos while I was not around (was in another room comforting another friend).
I'd got nothing to say for the guy, because guys would be guys. Maybe he enjoys the attention in the form of jealousy, or maybe he feels that me being upset if not reason enough for him to deprive himself of the normal stuff he does, or maybe he doesn't know I'd be that upset. I'd wouldn't know. So be it lor. I also lan lan right?
But I am really disappointed with my girlfriend.
It doesn't matter that it is mere photo taking and there is nothing wrong with hugging each other during photo taking sessions, but fact remains that SHE KNOWS that I wouldn't like it (and she promised no flirting with him before she met him. Some might argue that photo taking is not flirting, but certainly even an idiot can tell that the connotations and basis of "not flirting" is that I do not want him to fall for her - meaning she shouldn't flaunt herself, show herself to be overtly available and easy, or do anything that might tempt him. In other words, her body language shld always be: I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU) and still went ahead to do it anyway. Worst still, behind my back.
But well, she apologized. Still, not something I can just forget.
I fucking hate being ugly. Ok maybe not ugly, coz I am really pretty, but well, apparently not good enough. Fucking hell. Well, if you are thinking what is the link between this paragraph and the last paragraph (since the guy I like did not fall for my girlfriend, thank goodness), it is that if I were so goddamn perfect, I'd never doubt myself, if not about character then at least that he is more attracted to her physically than to me. Then they can flirt all I want and I'd be like, "Who cares, check out my kickass tits!" and go around curling my hair as per normal.
But no.
- A friend once told me, "But you are not common and normal, you are a celebrity." And I replied, "Yeah but the only reason why I became a celebrity, is because the world likes to read how common and normal I am." -
It sucks for so many reasons I don't even know where to begin. It sucks because it bruises your ego, it sucks because it causes a tension between you and your friend, and you start to think bad, evil stuff about your friend that you'd never have dreamt you would (i.e: What is so good about her? Her ass is so fat blah blah). It sucks because you can't sleep thinking - what if my friend likes him back? And would I lose her because of this ... etc.
The story of F and L comes into account here.
It happened so long ago, when we were just 17. F and Wong came to look for me while I was working for Ascend part-time (it's a shampoo brand and I was promoting it), and we had dinner together at KFC.
L and his bunch of friends were sitting a few metres away at that fruitful suntec outlet, and they were, well, blatantly staring.
If not for the fact that I was the only girl sitting facing them and F and Wong had their backs towards the guys, I'd never have even started to contemplate that L might have been looking at me.
Because F is so much prettier, and I know it.
But I sincerely did think he might have been looking at me.
And that made me very happy, because L was, then, dream guy material! He was totally what I'd sketch out on foolscap paper - the M hair (long fringe, centre parting. A bit toot now yes, but it was yr 2001 ok!), two dimples, bell bottomed jeans (retro sia!), and a white tee. All he needed was a pretty horse to prance on.
I had an eye and mouth feast that day at dinner, but of course, I didn't expect any follow-up actions.
When the three of us walked out to send me back to work, we found L's friend standing outside KFC waiting, and he swaggered (I have a vague impression he did coz he was an ah beng) over to us. L was nowhere to be seen.
That guy kept his eyes on F, and I was skipping inside, thinking that if he gets F's number then I can hit on L! Yay!
But no, he said that he was just helping L get F's number, which F did give in the end (I think because I asked her to).
I got genuinely depressed after that. Why is it that things like this happen? I started directing at anger at superficial men, which is totally unreasonable because 1) I cannot expect L to see beyond looks from a KFC dinner and 2) the only reason why I am feeling jealous is because I like him and he is handsome.
Since F had a boyfriend then and she was not interested in L, I told her to tell L that her number is about to be terminated, and to call me on my hp number (note for the slow: It means impersonation).
My plan was to play a prank on L. Very childish one ok, tell you first. I was to continue talking to him on the phone till he tells me that he likes me, in which after that I'd exclaim, "but you only like me because of my looks!" and after which he'd say, No, after talking for so many days he likes me coz of my character and after which I'd say, "so even if I am not pretty you'd still like me?" and after which he'd be obligated to say "Yes" and I'd go like, "TADAH! I am not F, I am YANYAN THAT UGLY GIRL WAHAHAHA!"
Very boh liao right.
So anyway, in case you wanted to know the plan flopped after two hours. I was talking to him, impersonating F's face with my own information, which meant that he thought F was working for Ascend as well. Which I think she actually did anyway.
Let's not go into confusing logistics now.
As it is I am not a dishonest person, and I did not feel good about lying. In any case my plan was brilliant to me then, and I wanted to share it with anyone I can talk to, which was only L. But of course I can't tell him about it.
So anyway, there he was telling me about the chemistry he felt for me and so on, and HE INSISTED ON COMING TO FIND ME AT WORK THE NEXT DAY (which I stupidly mentioned the venue)!!
Horrifying. If he comes, he'd find only me, and the expected disappointed face is more than I can bear. God did I feel lousy. Inferior and ugly, among other worse emotions.
After talking some more, I burst out the truth, and I think L was disgusted with that little, erm, harmless? prank.
Nonetheless, he was quite empathetic and was still civil to me. I whimpered, "So you not coming tomorrow already is it?", conveniently forgetting that he'd be obligated to say yes if I asked in that forlorn manner.
And so he did. It was a horrible dinner. He told me later that night that it is not about the looks but about the chemistry. He said he tried, but it just didn't feel correct.
I feel like "yeah right"ing, but I can see his POV (as in F and I were very different in character and the general "feel"), although it also stands that no normal guy would feel outright (only based on looks) chemistry for an ugly chick lah, cmon. Who are we kidding?
A month passed. L and I are no longer in contact (if truth be told, I didn't really get along that well with him, and yes, I admit there was a lack of chemistry). F has also broken up with her then boyfriend.
One day, I was out with F and we were supposed to meet a bunch of her friends. She couldn't answer her phone while it rang in the cubicle, so she passed it to me underneath the door.
By the time I answered, it had stopped ringing. I naturally pressed to see whose call I missed, and the whole list of missed calls appeared.
L's name was there.
I stood there stunned for a moment, and I asked, "You still keep in contact with L?!"
She mumbled yes, why? She then admited that she has been talking to him sometimes, but didn't tell me coz she is scared I get angry.
And angry I was. It wasn't the fact that she was talking to him, but that she delibrately hid it from me.
After a few weeks, they got together. She asked me if I am ok, but I don't really think I was. I don't know what is it that made me feel so lousy - maybe it was a slight sense of betrayal that she'd date someone whom I liked, or maybe I just felt lousy about myself....
Our friendship deteriorated from then on. I thought they'd last for a few months and things would mull over. But no ... It went on for four years and with the absence of contact for such a long period, we just cannot get back the closeness we used to share.
Yet I cannot blame her. Who am I to stop her from liking and being with him?
Up till today, that incident still makes me rather sad. Grey skies, lonely rooms and cellulite. =(
And well, that's only one occasion. Of course, some of you know that Adryan used to like F too. Some of you might be thinking, FUCK LAH, learn your lesson and stop hanging out with very good looking girls lah! But no! I am a fucking moth, I am. I get burned on one wing, and I get very angry and sit down at one corner and sulk while complaining to Shuyin on my starhub phone, then I decide to flutter to candlelight again and burn my leg.
Time and again it happens. Me introduce guy I like to girlfriend, guy falls for girlfriend. Whoop! So fun! Let's do it again! Me introduce guy I like to girlfriend, guy falls for girlfriend. Again, again!
STOP IT ALREADY!
It's not only F... In primary school it was another really pretty best friend, in secondary school it was F, then in poly it was June. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
"Hey your friend very pretty leh, can I get to know her?" NO! SHUT UP AND GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A CACTUS YOU FUCKING HORNY BASTARD!!!
Tamade.
What's my point?
My point is now, I am very paranoid about the guys I like liking my girlfriends. I get reminded of my painful past experiences, and I don't want to go near that ever again.
It causes tension, it causes pain, I'd never recover from the ego bruise --- and I might lose my girlfriend. Double that, because it is fucking DUI that I WAS THE IDIOT WHO INTRODUCED THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I introduced the guy I like to a girlfriend recently. Did I already said I am an incorrigible fucking stupid moth?
I realised that although they both behaved very normally (in fact far less touchy than they usually would have done - for my sake), I get super paranoid whenever they touch, or sit particularly close, or what's not. It gets on my nerves so much that I spiral into a horrible mood everytime it happens.
On the other hand, I did mention to the two of them that I don't like them being close, but who I am to command them to do anything for me? The guy is not my boyfriend (things have not changed so much for dream guy --- he still has the two dimples though not, thankfully, anything else mentioned above).
But I have a very good theory about this. There is, I always say, no need to bother about who is right and who is wrong, because it is not definitive.
There is, however, a certain known fact: which is that I'd get upset when they are close. Whether or not I have a right to get upset is one thing, but it remains true that if they know I'd get upset and still do it anyway, they have a blatantly disregard for my feelings -- which is just mean.
When she wanted to take a photo with him (nothing wrong with that), she and him secretly did the series of photos while I was not around (was in another room comforting another friend).
I'd got nothing to say for the guy, because guys would be guys. Maybe he enjoys the attention in the form of jealousy, or maybe he feels that me being upset if not reason enough for him to deprive himself of the normal stuff he does, or maybe he doesn't know I'd be that upset. I'd wouldn't know. So be it lor. I also lan lan right?
But I am really disappointed with my girlfriend.
It doesn't matter that it is mere photo taking and there is nothing wrong with hugging each other during photo taking sessions, but fact remains that SHE KNOWS that I wouldn't like it (and she promised no flirting with him before she met him. Some might argue that photo taking is not flirting, but certainly even an idiot can tell that the connotations and basis of "not flirting" is that I do not want him to fall for her - meaning she shouldn't flaunt herself, show herself to be overtly available and easy, or do anything that might tempt him. In other words, her body language shld always be: I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU) and still went ahead to do it anyway. Worst still, behind my back.
But well, she apologized. Still, not something I can just forget.
I fucking hate being ugly. Ok maybe not ugly, coz I am really pretty, but well, apparently not good enough. Fucking hell. Well, if you are thinking what is the link between this paragraph and the last paragraph (since the guy I like did not fall for my girlfriend, thank goodness), it is that if I were so goddamn perfect, I'd never doubt myself, if not about character then at least that he is more attracted to her physically than to me. Then they can flirt all I want and I'd be like, "Who cares, check out my kickass tits!" and go around curling my hair as per normal.
But no.
- A friend once told me, "But you are not common and normal, you are a celebrity." And I replied, "Yeah but the only reason why I became a celebrity, is because the world likes to read how common and normal I am." -
Sunday, April 24, 2005
CARDINAL "SARGE"
Today Pope Benedict XVI was officially installed as the Pontiff for the Catholic Church. And I'm still not ready to let the topic fade away.
(Although I suppose there are a couple of essays I can put aside for now. It's not like I'll have to wait another 26 years before I get the chance to use them. Sorry, Benny.....)
Anyway.....
It's one of the main tenets of Toobworld that the characters from a TV show continue to exist in the TV Universe even after the show that housed them is canceled. They could even long outlive the actors who played them: Jeff Miller most likely still lives in Capital City even though Tommy Rettig passed away; Ted Baxter possibly still does commentary and specials on WJM news nearly twenty years after we lost the great Ted Knight.
And not only do they still exist, but their lives continue to evolve; they don't remain static and unchanged. For instance, during the intervening years between the last episode of 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show' and the TV movie 'Mary and Rhoda', Mary Richards had married a congressman named Cronin, moved to New York, had a daughter named Rose, and became widowed. Meanwhile, her friend Rhoda moved to Paris after marrying a Frenchman (whom she later divorced) where she had a daughter, Meredith.
In 1971, a former San Diego cop named Samuel Cavanaugh was now a priest at St. Aloysius Church. He was known as 'Sarge' by his friends and his parishioners, who often called upon him for spiritual advice and for secular help because of his nine years experience as a homicide detective.
That was over thirty years ago. And while Father Cavanaugh might have lived out his career as a parish priest, as is the case with so many men of the cloth, Sarge might also have found advancement within the Church hierarchy. It seems the fate of established TV characters that they are marked for greatness or singled out for notice in some way.
And that's why we think Sarge eventually rose to the position of Monsignor, and then to a bishopric, and finally he would have been elevated to membership within the College of Cardinals.
Over his 26 years as the Pope, John Paul II called many to don the red cap; so many that of the 118 or so who were eligible to elect his successor, only two had not been chosen by His Holiness.
TV shows are always creating new Congressmen, knowing that there can't be too many nutjobs out there (like me) who might check to see if they actually have a counterpart in the House of Representatives of the Real World.
And so it would be with the College of Cardinals. Who's to say that the Pope John Paul of TV Land didn't elevate Samuel "Sarge" Cavanaugh to the position of Cardinal?
There were a lot of old men with white hair among the princes of the Church in those scenes we saw on TV from Rome. It wouldn't be hard to blend Father Cavanaugh into the mix with the latest CGI technology.
And that's the other thing - George Kennedy, who played 'Sarge', is still alive; still active as an actor. Just last year I saw him on 'The Young & The Restless' as Victor Newman's father. If called upon, he conceivably would have been able to portray this priest who once was a cop one more time.
Perhaps he could even help out the Roman polizia with their investigation into a related murder just before the Conclave......
At the very least, he could always help clear the runway for the Pope's plane - oops, wrong character!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
(Although I suppose there are a couple of essays I can put aside for now. It's not like I'll have to wait another 26 years before I get the chance to use them. Sorry, Benny.....)
Anyway.....
It's one of the main tenets of Toobworld that the characters from a TV show continue to exist in the TV Universe even after the show that housed them is canceled. They could even long outlive the actors who played them: Jeff Miller most likely still lives in Capital City even though Tommy Rettig passed away; Ted Baxter possibly still does commentary and specials on WJM news nearly twenty years after we lost the great Ted Knight.
And not only do they still exist, but their lives continue to evolve; they don't remain static and unchanged. For instance, during the intervening years between the last episode of 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show' and the TV movie 'Mary and Rhoda', Mary Richards had married a congressman named Cronin, moved to New York, had a daughter named Rose, and became widowed. Meanwhile, her friend Rhoda moved to Paris after marrying a Frenchman (whom she later divorced) where she had a daughter, Meredith.
In 1971, a former San Diego cop named Samuel Cavanaugh was now a priest at St. Aloysius Church. He was known as 'Sarge' by his friends and his parishioners, who often called upon him for spiritual advice and for secular help because of his nine years experience as a homicide detective.
That was over thirty years ago. And while Father Cavanaugh might have lived out his career as a parish priest, as is the case with so many men of the cloth, Sarge might also have found advancement within the Church hierarchy. It seems the fate of established TV characters that they are marked for greatness or singled out for notice in some way.
And that's why we think Sarge eventually rose to the position of Monsignor, and then to a bishopric, and finally he would have been elevated to membership within the College of Cardinals.
Over his 26 years as the Pope, John Paul II called many to don the red cap; so many that of the 118 or so who were eligible to elect his successor, only two had not been chosen by His Holiness.
TV shows are always creating new Congressmen, knowing that there can't be too many nutjobs out there (like me) who might check to see if they actually have a counterpart in the House of Representatives of the Real World.
And so it would be with the College of Cardinals. Who's to say that the Pope John Paul of TV Land didn't elevate Samuel "Sarge" Cavanaugh to the position of Cardinal?
There were a lot of old men with white hair among the princes of the Church in those scenes we saw on TV from Rome. It wouldn't be hard to blend Father Cavanaugh into the mix with the latest CGI technology.
And that's the other thing - George Kennedy, who played 'Sarge', is still alive; still active as an actor. Just last year I saw him on 'The Young & The Restless' as Victor Newman's father. If called upon, he conceivably would have been able to portray this priest who once was a cop one more time.
Perhaps he could even help out the Roman polizia with their investigation into a related murder just before the Conclave......
At the very least, he could always help clear the runway for the Pope's plane - oops, wrong character!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Saturday, April 23, 2005
MUNCH A BUNCH 3: OUT-FOXED IN DA "HOUSE"
If NBC let Detective Munch go play outside its own sandbox, there would have to be extraordinary circumstances involved. And I think the case could be made that that's what determined the two times Munch was off-network.
With 'The Beat' on UPN, the splainin is fairly simple. Tom Fontana's company produced the show about uniformed cops in NYC, and even though Munch's original series ('Homicide') had folded and he's now involved with Dick Wolf's Wonderful World of 'Law & Order', the Munchkin still falls under Fontana's dominion.
As for 'The X-Files', I think it came down to a business decision. 'Homicide' had buzz, but not enough. It seemed like it was always dancing on the verge of cancellation.
But 'The X-Files' had HEAT. And even though Chris Carter's show was on FOX, NBC must have realized that they could only benefit if an 'H:LOTS' character was seen on such a water-cooler show.
Too bad CBS' Eye couldn't see it that way when it came to a proposed crossover between 'The X-Files' and their own 'Picket Fences'.
So even though we played fast and loose with the crossover concept when it came to NBC shows - comedies as well as dramas, - we'll have to narrow the focus when it comes to the other networks: Dramas only, cop shows preferably, and always to the advantage of John Munch and/or NBC.
'24'
Sorry, we have to exclude it. Dubya's not the President of those United States, so it's not Earth Prime Time where Munch lives.
'The O.C.'
Puh-leeze! Maybe - Maybe! - only if Seth went to NYC to track down a really are comic book, only to find that Munch snapped it up first.
Otherwise, the image of Munch on the O.C.'s beaches would make this man in black his own alien sighting.
'Jonny Zero'
Sorry. Never saw it. And I get this feeling I'm not alone in that.....
'House'
This is the only show that would have definite possibilities. Richard Belzer and Hugh Laurie as Detective Munch and Doctor House respectively - two men soured on Life, with cynical, acerbic dispositions..... Who wouldn't want to ee them come into contact with each other?
I'd buy that for a dollar!
Besides, if the episode turned out to be an expose on what makes two such mysoginists tick, I have the perfect title:
"BARIN' MUNCH AND HOUSE"
Well..... I thought it was funny.....
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
With 'The Beat' on UPN, the splainin is fairly simple. Tom Fontana's company produced the show about uniformed cops in NYC, and even though Munch's original series ('Homicide') had folded and he's now involved with Dick Wolf's Wonderful World of 'Law & Order', the Munchkin still falls under Fontana's dominion.
As for 'The X-Files', I think it came down to a business decision. 'Homicide' had buzz, but not enough. It seemed like it was always dancing on the verge of cancellation.
But 'The X-Files' had HEAT. And even though Chris Carter's show was on FOX, NBC must have realized that they could only benefit if an 'H:LOTS' character was seen on such a water-cooler show.
Too bad CBS' Eye couldn't see it that way when it came to a proposed crossover between 'The X-Files' and their own 'Picket Fences'.
So even though we played fast and loose with the crossover concept when it came to NBC shows - comedies as well as dramas, - we'll have to narrow the focus when it comes to the other networks: Dramas only, cop shows preferably, and always to the advantage of John Munch and/or NBC.
'24'
Sorry, we have to exclude it. Dubya's not the President of those United States, so it's not Earth Prime Time where Munch lives.
'The O.C.'
Puh-leeze! Maybe - Maybe! - only if Seth went to NYC to track down a really are comic book, only to find that Munch snapped it up first.
Otherwise, the image of Munch on the O.C.'s beaches would make this man in black his own alien sighting.
'Jonny Zero'
Sorry. Never saw it. And I get this feeling I'm not alone in that.....
'House'
This is the only show that would have definite possibilities. Richard Belzer and Hugh Laurie as Detective Munch and Doctor House respectively - two men soured on Life, with cynical, acerbic dispositions..... Who wouldn't want to ee them come into contact with each other?
I'd buy that for a dollar!
Besides, if the episode turned out to be an expose on what makes two such mysoginists tick, I have the perfect title:
"BARIN' MUNCH AND HOUSE"
Well..... I thought it was funny.....
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
TRIPLE A BELLE
On 'Desperate Housewives', Alfre Woodard is moving onto Wisteria Lane. Her character, Betty Applewhite, will join Charlie Young in 'The West Wing' and Lando Calrissian of "The Empire Strikes Back" as a Triple A - African-American Afterthought.
They must be expecting that type of reaction over at ABC, and they should have done something before the show premiered to avoid it. Why couldn't one of the original five "housewives" (Edie very loosely falls into that category) have been black? Even Mrs. Huber could have been more of a Weezy Jefferson than a Gladys Kravitz.
If Marc Cherry was too in love with the social dynamic he had created for his main quintet, Lynette Scavo could have still been a black woman. The role seems to be color-blind.
I suppose some might point out that at least he had an Hispanic couple among the regulars. And that might have been considered a major stride if it weren't for the fact that the wife is a slut and the husband is a crook and practically a wife-beater.
When it gets to the point where people are accustomed to seeing plenty of Hispanics in major roles on TV, maybe then it would be fine to fall back on a stereotype still perceived by the ignorant.
Okay, I'll admit I don't really care. The only thing that interests me about 'Desperate Housewives' is trying to find the splainin as to why the late and unlamented Mary Alice lives in Beaver's old house. I don't care how sexy and scantily clad the housewives may be - that droning narration by that dead nag grates on my nerves.
But what bugs me more is that Cherry should have realized he'd get some flack about the lack of blacks (ack!) and should have included a family for balance immediately.
I hate back pedaling.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
They must be expecting that type of reaction over at ABC, and they should have done something before the show premiered to avoid it. Why couldn't one of the original five "housewives" (Edie very loosely falls into that category) have been black? Even Mrs. Huber could have been more of a Weezy Jefferson than a Gladys Kravitz.
If Marc Cherry was too in love with the social dynamic he had created for his main quintet, Lynette Scavo could have still been a black woman. The role seems to be color-blind.
I suppose some might point out that at least he had an Hispanic couple among the regulars. And that might have been considered a major stride if it weren't for the fact that the wife is a slut and the husband is a crook and practically a wife-beater.
When it gets to the point where people are accustomed to seeing plenty of Hispanics in major roles on TV, maybe then it would be fine to fall back on a stereotype still perceived by the ignorant.
Okay, I'll admit I don't really care. The only thing that interests me about 'Desperate Housewives' is trying to find the splainin as to why the late and unlamented Mary Alice lives in Beaver's old house. I don't care how sexy and scantily clad the housewives may be - that droning narration by that dead nag grates on my nerves.
But what bugs me more is that Cherry should have realized he'd get some flack about the lack of blacks (ack!) and should have included a family for balance immediately.
I hate back pedaling.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Friday, April 22, 2005
"HOLLYWOOD BRASS"
Thursday, April 21st, 2005
9:00 PM
'CSI: Criminal Scene Investigation'
"Hollywood Brass"
CBS
Captain Jim Brass of the Las Vegas Police Department suddenly dropped everything to drive to Los Angeles - his estranged daughter Ellie had called for help regarding her missing friend.
What Ellie failed to mention to her dad was that both girls were hookers working Sunset.
Brass got help from an old friend on the LA force whom he knew when they both worked back in New Jersey. And he also got assistance from CSI Warrick Brown who was attending a convention out there.
After the investigation into the friend's disappearance turned into a murder case, Brass stirred up a hornet's nest among the City of Angels' most powerful - judges, lawyers, councilmen, and a former TV actor with designs on becoming the mayor.
Like Warrick cautioned him, it was "Chinatown" all over again.....
Was this episode of 'CSI' feeling out a possible pilot for Paul Guilfoyle as Jim Brass? It certainly felt like that kind of character showcase and this is the time of year to pitch new shows. And since everything went back to business as usual by the end, there's no risk Guilfoyle would be out of a job if the series didn't get a pick-up.
I'll bet Stanley Roper wishes he had that kind of assurance back when 'The Ropers' were spun off from 'Three's Company'! (I don't think Norman Fell cares much anymore one way or the other......)
So how would such a series play out? Most likely, Jim Brass would have to resign/retire from the LVPD and move to LA to become a private investigator. As an outsider, he'd probably stumble along the way but he would also be bullheaded enough to avoid getting entangled too deeply in the local scene.
He'd work closely with Detective Annie Hutchings (played by Donna Murphy), and have forensics help from Matt Glave as Matt Glazer. And all the while Brass would be keeping a close eye on his hooker "daughter". (Genetically, they weren't even related, but she didn't know that.)
If "Hollywood Brass" did go to series, it would at least be able to shake off the cooke-cutter feel of the 'CSI' shows from the Bruckheimer empire.
Just so long as it didn't play out like 'Beverly Hills Buntz', this show might have a shot.
And since James Garner made a few TV movies for CBS which revived his second most famous TV character, Jim Rockford, perhaps he might be persuaded to show up and help out Brass as he ventured forth in Toobworld. Rockford could show up during the November sweeps, or even better, he could guest star on the premiere to really kick things off!
At the very least, 'Hollywood Brass' could do a very nice in-joke tip o' the hat to 'The Rockford Files'.....
"This is Jim Brass. At the tone, leave your name and message and I'll get back to you."
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
9:00 PM
'CSI: Criminal Scene Investigation'
"Hollywood Brass"
CBS
Captain Jim Brass of the Las Vegas Police Department suddenly dropped everything to drive to Los Angeles - his estranged daughter Ellie had called for help regarding her missing friend.
What Ellie failed to mention to her dad was that both girls were hookers working Sunset.
Brass got help from an old friend on the LA force whom he knew when they both worked back in New Jersey. And he also got assistance from CSI Warrick Brown who was attending a convention out there.
After the investigation into the friend's disappearance turned into a murder case, Brass stirred up a hornet's nest among the City of Angels' most powerful - judges, lawyers, councilmen, and a former TV actor with designs on becoming the mayor.
Like Warrick cautioned him, it was "Chinatown" all over again.....
Was this episode of 'CSI' feeling out a possible pilot for Paul Guilfoyle as Jim Brass? It certainly felt like that kind of character showcase and this is the time of year to pitch new shows. And since everything went back to business as usual by the end, there's no risk Guilfoyle would be out of a job if the series didn't get a pick-up.
I'll bet Stanley Roper wishes he had that kind of assurance back when 'The Ropers' were spun off from 'Three's Company'! (I don't think Norman Fell cares much anymore one way or the other......)
So how would such a series play out? Most likely, Jim Brass would have to resign/retire from the LVPD and move to LA to become a private investigator. As an outsider, he'd probably stumble along the way but he would also be bullheaded enough to avoid getting entangled too deeply in the local scene.
He'd work closely with Detective Annie Hutchings (played by Donna Murphy), and have forensics help from Matt Glave as Matt Glazer. And all the while Brass would be keeping a close eye on his hooker "daughter". (Genetically, they weren't even related, but she didn't know that.)
If "Hollywood Brass" did go to series, it would at least be able to shake off the cooke-cutter feel of the 'CSI' shows from the Bruckheimer empire.
Just so long as it didn't play out like 'Beverly Hills Buntz', this show might have a shot.
And since James Garner made a few TV movies for CBS which revived his second most famous TV character, Jim Rockford, perhaps he might be persuaded to show up and help out Brass as he ventured forth in Toobworld. Rockford could show up during the November sweeps, or even better, he could guest star on the premiere to really kick things off!
At the very least, 'Hollywood Brass' could do a very nice in-joke tip o' the hat to 'The Rockford Files'.....
"This is Jim Brass. At the tone, leave your name and message and I'll get back to you."
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Thursday, April 21, 2005
MUNCH A BUNCH 2 - PROUD AS A PEACOCK
So.
For the first batch of options regarding new shows for Detective Munch to appear in (and thus raise his all-time high from six - seven if you count 'Homicide: The Movie'), we're not going to stray any farther than his own backyard.
And that means the lineup of shows on NBC. We might even send him off to beautiful downtown Burbank!
'Fear Factor'
Um..... no thanks.
'The Apprentice'
Screw Trump.
Let's stick with shows that are more believable......
'Medium'
Scenario: The Dubois Family heads east to spend their vacation in the Big Apple. And while there, Allison has a vision which only Detective Munch believes in, skeptic though he may be.
'Las Vegas'
This time, Munch goes on vacation and he heads out to Nevada to investigate one of his favorite conspiracy theories, and maybe even get close enough to explore Area 51. But while there he decides to check out the action at the Montecito.
They would probably ask him to leave, however. In the glitzy world of Vegas, Munch's jaundiced attitude would bring down the room.
'The West Wing'
Off limits!
This show is in another TV dimension entirely, where Jed Bartlet is President and George W. Bush probably is still an owner of a baseball team.
We know Munch must have a counterpart in that universe, like Fidel Castro, Jay Leno, Penn & Teller, and Professor Lawrence Lessig do. After all, we know from 'St. Elsewhere' that Josiah Bartlet became a surgeon in Earth Prime Time's Boston.
But it would be too much to ask of an audience to accept this John Munch has a dimensional doppelganger. And it would push 'The West Wing' into territory best left to 'Stargate SG-1'.
'Crossing Jordan'
This could be part of a full-blown crossover, the whole two-episode job. It doesn't have to be a stealth cameo.
It would begin on Sunday night with 'Crossing Jordan' as the Boston medical examiners try to determine the identity of their corpse. The trail would lead them back to New York where they work with the 'Special Victims Unit' on Tuesday.
And that's when Munch is reunited with Garrett Macy with whom he once butted horns over a woman.
An added bonus - in an attempt to one-up Macy, Munch could mention that he once worked on a case with the legendary Dr. Quincy.
'American Dreams'
This is probably an exercise in futility; I think we've seen the last of Meg and her family and her friends at 'American Bandstand'.
Even so, we could still make a claim for Munch's presence during that time period in Philadelphia. And we wouldn't even need Richard Belzer to pull it off.
(We couldn't use him even if there were to be fresh episodes next season; he's too old now. They would have to cast a young actor to play Munch as a teenager, as they did once in an episode of 'Homicide: Life On The Street'.)
But let's say the show is officially dead. All that's needed is a little detective work and perseverance. Somebody willing to do the work could look through all the "atmosphere people" to find a gangly, gawky teen with glasses and a bad complexion. So long as that teen geek was never identified by name, we could claim it was Munch.
'ER'
Forget it. Why bother? Not because it's set in Chicago - I'm sure Munch would make the trip just for the chance to meet Carl Kolchak!
No, I wouldn't want Munch to appear on this show because I hate 'ER'.
Besides, if the creators of 'Homicide: Life On The Street' were really interested in a crossover with 'ER', they would have done so in the episode "Doll's Eyes". Instead, the heart which was harvested for transplant was sent to 'Chicago Hope' (on another network!), where it was received by Dr. Jeffrey Geiger. (Geiger will one day join Munch in the Crossover Hall of Fame!)
And we don't have to limit Munch to just the dramas......
'Will & Grace'
This aging sag-hag of a sitcom has been renewed for next season, so anything goes by now. Munch's love life has always been a battlefield, and the situation should not be any different when he goes out on a blind date with Karen in a cameo appearance.
I have a feeling next season 'Will & Grace' is going to be the official embarrassment which the network will finally realize. So if Munch did appear on that show it should just be a cameo. A quick get-in and get-out......
Karen's used to those.
'Scrubs'
I like the idea that Munch and the Janitor may have gone to high school together. (Janitor probably put the Munchkin through the same kind of hell that JD now suffers.)
Munch might run into him accidentally while visiting Sacred Heart Hospital and end up going mano a mano with Dr. Cox in a battle of sarcasm.
'Joey'
I suppose Joey could go back east, visit the rest of the family, and tag along with Munch to study him for a movie role. But again, I'd rather turn to Munch's "love life". What I'd like to see would be Belzer teamed up with Jennifer Coolidge as man-hungry Bobbi.
However, Joey's slut of a creepy sister Gina might be a more logical choice. Who knows? Maybe Munch is the father of her son Michael.......
'Committed'
I suppose having a dying clown in your closet might be investigated by the 'Special Victims Unit'.......
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
For the first batch of options regarding new shows for Detective Munch to appear in (and thus raise his all-time high from six - seven if you count 'Homicide: The Movie'), we're not going to stray any farther than his own backyard.
And that means the lineup of shows on NBC. We might even send him off to beautiful downtown Burbank!
'Fear Factor'
Um..... no thanks.
'The Apprentice'
Screw Trump.
Let's stick with shows that are more believable......
'Medium'
Scenario: The Dubois Family heads east to spend their vacation in the Big Apple. And while there, Allison has a vision which only Detective Munch believes in, skeptic though he may be.
'Las Vegas'
This time, Munch goes on vacation and he heads out to Nevada to investigate one of his favorite conspiracy theories, and maybe even get close enough to explore Area 51. But while there he decides to check out the action at the Montecito.
They would probably ask him to leave, however. In the glitzy world of Vegas, Munch's jaundiced attitude would bring down the room.
'The West Wing'
Off limits!
This show is in another TV dimension entirely, where Jed Bartlet is President and George W. Bush probably is still an owner of a baseball team.
We know Munch must have a counterpart in that universe, like Fidel Castro, Jay Leno, Penn & Teller, and Professor Lawrence Lessig do. After all, we know from 'St. Elsewhere' that Josiah Bartlet became a surgeon in Earth Prime Time's Boston.
But it would be too much to ask of an audience to accept this John Munch has a dimensional doppelganger. And it would push 'The West Wing' into territory best left to 'Stargate SG-1'.
'Crossing Jordan'
This could be part of a full-blown crossover, the whole two-episode job. It doesn't have to be a stealth cameo.
It would begin on Sunday night with 'Crossing Jordan' as the Boston medical examiners try to determine the identity of their corpse. The trail would lead them back to New York where they work with the 'Special Victims Unit' on Tuesday.
And that's when Munch is reunited with Garrett Macy with whom he once butted horns over a woman.
An added bonus - in an attempt to one-up Macy, Munch could mention that he once worked on a case with the legendary Dr. Quincy.
'American Dreams'
This is probably an exercise in futility; I think we've seen the last of Meg and her family and her friends at 'American Bandstand'.
Even so, we could still make a claim for Munch's presence during that time period in Philadelphia. And we wouldn't even need Richard Belzer to pull it off.
(We couldn't use him even if there were to be fresh episodes next season; he's too old now. They would have to cast a young actor to play Munch as a teenager, as they did once in an episode of 'Homicide: Life On The Street'.)
But let's say the show is officially dead. All that's needed is a little detective work and perseverance. Somebody willing to do the work could look through all the "atmosphere people" to find a gangly, gawky teen with glasses and a bad complexion. So long as that teen geek was never identified by name, we could claim it was Munch.
'ER'
Forget it. Why bother? Not because it's set in Chicago - I'm sure Munch would make the trip just for the chance to meet Carl Kolchak!
No, I wouldn't want Munch to appear on this show because I hate 'ER'.
Besides, if the creators of 'Homicide: Life On The Street' were really interested in a crossover with 'ER', they would have done so in the episode "Doll's Eyes". Instead, the heart which was harvested for transplant was sent to 'Chicago Hope' (on another network!), where it was received by Dr. Jeffrey Geiger. (Geiger will one day join Munch in the Crossover Hall of Fame!)
And we don't have to limit Munch to just the dramas......
'Will & Grace'
This aging sag-hag of a sitcom has been renewed for next season, so anything goes by now. Munch's love life has always been a battlefield, and the situation should not be any different when he goes out on a blind date with Karen in a cameo appearance.
I have a feeling next season 'Will & Grace' is going to be the official embarrassment which the network will finally realize. So if Munch did appear on that show it should just be a cameo. A quick get-in and get-out......
Karen's used to those.
'Scrubs'
I like the idea that Munch and the Janitor may have gone to high school together. (Janitor probably put the Munchkin through the same kind of hell that JD now suffers.)
Munch might run into him accidentally while visiting Sacred Heart Hospital and end up going mano a mano with Dr. Cox in a battle of sarcasm.
'Joey'
I suppose Joey could go back east, visit the rest of the family, and tag along with Munch to study him for a movie role. But again, I'd rather turn to Munch's "love life". What I'd like to see would be Belzer teamed up with Jennifer Coolidge as man-hungry Bobbi.
However, Joey's slut of a creepy sister Gina might be a more logical choice. Who knows? Maybe Munch is the father of her son Michael.......
'Committed'
I suppose having a dying clown in your closet might be investigated by the 'Special Victims Unit'.......
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
MUNCH A BUNCH (PART ONE)
When I posted to the Inner Toob on Monday morning, I threw in a shout-out to Lee Goldberg, producer and writer for 'Diagnosis Murder' and many other shows. He's also the author of the current series of novels based on 'DM', and has just announced he will be writing a series of novels based on 'Monk' as well.
Lee Goldberg also contacted me with some nice words about the blog.
I thought of him while writing about the Crossover of the Week between two 'Law & Order' shows, because 'Diagnosis Murder' was such a great series for TV crossovers. Spun off from 'Jake And The Fatman', 'DM' also crossed paths with Joe 'Mannix', Ben 'Matlock', and Cinnamon Carter of 'Mission: Impossible'. So that show was a natural when thinking about crossing Detective John Munch over to other shows.
But that tossed-off salute to Mr. Goldberg got me thinking about what shows currently on the air would be good places for an appearance by the "Munchkin". He's already covered every corner of Dick Wolf's 'Law & Order' franchise, and if any more shows join the line-up, he could appear on those in his sleep.
I'm a firm believer in Television Without Borders, and what Richard Belzer would need now to secure his position for posterity would be to stretch beyond his own bailiwick. Not just crime dramas, but sitcoms as well; and not only on NBC but the other networks as well.
Munch is the perfect standard bearer for the foray around the dial. After all, he did it twice already - on FOX ('The X-Files') and on UPN ('The Beat'). But we'll start off (and finish up) this list in his own backyard, with NBC shows.
So let me put on my thunkin' cap and come up with a few more possibilities for Munch to conquer as the Crossover King....
As Cousin Steve would say: "To be continued!"
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Lee Goldberg also contacted me with some nice words about the blog.
I thought of him while writing about the Crossover of the Week between two 'Law & Order' shows, because 'Diagnosis Murder' was such a great series for TV crossovers. Spun off from 'Jake And The Fatman', 'DM' also crossed paths with Joe 'Mannix', Ben 'Matlock', and Cinnamon Carter of 'Mission: Impossible'. So that show was a natural when thinking about crossing Detective John Munch over to other shows.
But that tossed-off salute to Mr. Goldberg got me thinking about what shows currently on the air would be good places for an appearance by the "Munchkin". He's already covered every corner of Dick Wolf's 'Law & Order' franchise, and if any more shows join the line-up, he could appear on those in his sleep.
I'm a firm believer in Television Without Borders, and what Richard Belzer would need now to secure his position for posterity would be to stretch beyond his own bailiwick. Not just crime dramas, but sitcoms as well; and not only on NBC but the other networks as well.
Munch is the perfect standard bearer for the foray around the dial. After all, he did it twice already - on FOX ('The X-Files') and on UPN ('The Beat'). But we'll start off (and finish up) this list in his own backyard, with NBC shows.
So let me put on my thunkin' cap and come up with a few more possibilities for Munch to conquer as the Crossover King....
As Cousin Steve would say: "To be continued!"
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
BLACK-BALD
Here's a TV cliche for the new age.....
Why is that gay black men in law enforcement on TV shows, whether police officers or as private investigators, are bald?
Chris Didion of Judd Risk Management on 'Eyes' is the latest example.
Here are a few others:
Officer Julien Lowe - 'The Shield'
Keith Charles - 'Six Feet Under'
Sgt. Roger Fisk - 'Homicide: Life On The Street'
All of these shows are set in the main TV dimension. The new version of 'Kojak' is definitely off in another dimension, but it kinda makes you wonder if the trend applies to Ving Rhames' interpretation of Theo Kojak.
Is he suppresssing forbidden desires?
It would certainly be the splainin for the lollipops.......
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Why is that gay black men in law enforcement on TV shows, whether police officers or as private investigators, are bald?
Chris Didion of Judd Risk Management on 'Eyes' is the latest example.
Here are a few others:
Officer Julien Lowe - 'The Shield'
Keith Charles - 'Six Feet Under'
Sgt. Roger Fisk - 'Homicide: Life On The Street'
All of these shows are set in the main TV dimension. The new version of 'Kojak' is definitely off in another dimension, but it kinda makes you wonder if the trend applies to Ving Rhames' interpretation of Theo Kojak.
Is he suppresssing forbidden desires?
It would certainly be the splainin for the lollipops.......
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
HABEMUS CHEESEBORGER!
Fixated on the Conclave of Cardinals as a lapsed but still interested Catholic, and viewing it all from a Toobworld perspective, I think my brain might have wandered a bit too far from the Sistine Chapel.
It might have been the special brand of incense I bought down in Tompkins Square Park......
In Toobworld, it's possible for food to be alive. Think of that ham sandwich in those orange juice commercials; the chorus of singing raisins in the Post Raisin Bran cereal bowl (not to mention the California Raisins). Arte Johnson played a pickle in a Heinz jar and there was Big Fig Newton. And you could eat most of the Fruit Of The Loom boys but not Charlie the Tuna, as he would never be chosen as a tuna that tastes good.
Sorry, Charlie.
So if the food is alive and can reason, couldn't that food pursue a spiritual path? And couldn't such a religious foodstuff become a Catholic in that substrata of TV Life?
This is where I got that wacked idea - in trying to talk about some of the papal contenders, I mangled one cardinal's name and instead called him Cardinal TIramisu.
I guess if living food formed their own sect, perhaps the leader of their church might be Pope Eggs Benedict.
Okay, I'll go lie down now......
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
It might have been the special brand of incense I bought down in Tompkins Square Park......
In Toobworld, it's possible for food to be alive. Think of that ham sandwich in those orange juice commercials; the chorus of singing raisins in the Post Raisin Bran cereal bowl (not to mention the California Raisins). Arte Johnson played a pickle in a Heinz jar and there was Big Fig Newton. And you could eat most of the Fruit Of The Loom boys but not Charlie the Tuna, as he would never be chosen as a tuna that tastes good.
Sorry, Charlie.
So if the food is alive and can reason, couldn't that food pursue a spiritual path? And couldn't such a religious foodstuff become a Catholic in that substrata of TV Life?
This is where I got that wacked idea - in trying to talk about some of the papal contenders, I mangled one cardinal's name and instead called him Cardinal TIramisu.
I guess if living food formed their own sect, perhaps the leader of their church might be Pope Eggs Benedict.
Okay, I'll go lie down now......
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
URBI DE TELEVISIONE ET ORBI DE TOOB
HABEMUS PAPAM!
WE HAVE A POPE!
And now that the Conclave of Cardinals has accomplished their task in choosing a new leader for the world's 1.1 billion Catholics, it is time for the Conclave of Casting Agents to find the man to replace Eugene Greytak as Toobworld's representation of the current Pope.
And after they've made their choice, they burn the other resume head-shots so that the smoke signifies we have a new Tele-Pope.
I had a long night.......
Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger of Germany has been chosen and he has taken the name of Pope Benedict XVI. Personally, I was hoping that whoever was chosen as the Pontiff, that the name chosen would be "Sixtus".
I'm a big fan of 'The Prisoner', you see.
Pope Benedict XVI is a tall, stately and seemingly vital for a man of 78 years of age. If you're going for a man to play the Pope mostly as a visual figure, as Gene Greytak did, then I'm sure there are plenty of older actors who would be happy for the chance to play such a highly visible part, even if it is a supporting role and probably a recurring role at best if not just a one-shot.
But if you need to cast for a TV movie, as happened for Pope John Paul II, you want a name actor like Albert Finney had done for the former Karol Cardinal Wojtyla.
Since Pope Benedict XVI is from Germany, it could be a safe assumption that his accent would be... British.
I'm not going to go mucking about in all those stories about Ratzinger's past, but most of your best TV and movie Germans were played by English actors. (Although Ted Knight was a VERY convincing officer in an episode of 'Combat!'.)
But there are also a few American actors who might be a good choice for the role. For some reason, I look at the new Pope and I'm thinking I've seen someone who resembles him playing an alien in the 'Star Trek' franchise.
There are two American actors who came to my mind. They should be recognizable for those who watch plenty of TV, even if you only watch a handful of shows.
Best known would be Steven Gilborn. His most recognizable roles in Toobworld would be ADA Gavin Bullock on 'The Practice', Uncle Rory on 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', and as Harold Morgan, the father of 'Ellen'.
Gilborn also got some experience under his belt by playing a priest once on 'Golden Girls'. And he also played a congressman on 'The West Wing', where my other choice comes from.
Charles Noland is best known, probably by face only or at least by his character name of "Steve". Steve is one of the regular reporters in the White House Press Corps.
Let me toss out just a few other possible ideas.....
Tom Baker
Patrick Stewart [He needs some make-up work.]
George Baker
Arthur Hill
Daniel J. Travanti
Wait a few weeks. Maybe even by the next issue, Entertainment Weekly will have come out with their casting suggestions for Benny Sixteen. (Hey, it's the 21st Century, baybeeee!)
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
WE HAVE A POPE!
And now that the Conclave of Cardinals has accomplished their task in choosing a new leader for the world's 1.1 billion Catholics, it is time for the Conclave of Casting Agents to find the man to replace Eugene Greytak as Toobworld's representation of the current Pope.
And after they've made their choice, they burn the other resume head-shots so that the smoke signifies we have a new Tele-Pope.
I had a long night.......
Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger of Germany has been chosen and he has taken the name of Pope Benedict XVI. Personally, I was hoping that whoever was chosen as the Pontiff, that the name chosen would be "Sixtus".
I'm a big fan of 'The Prisoner', you see.
Pope Benedict XVI is a tall, stately and seemingly vital for a man of 78 years of age. If you're going for a man to play the Pope mostly as a visual figure, as Gene Greytak did, then I'm sure there are plenty of older actors who would be happy for the chance to play such a highly visible part, even if it is a supporting role and probably a recurring role at best if not just a one-shot.
But if you need to cast for a TV movie, as happened for Pope John Paul II, you want a name actor like Albert Finney had done for the former Karol Cardinal Wojtyla.
Since Pope Benedict XVI is from Germany, it could be a safe assumption that his accent would be... British.
I'm not going to go mucking about in all those stories about Ratzinger's past, but most of your best TV and movie Germans were played by English actors. (Although Ted Knight was a VERY convincing officer in an episode of 'Combat!'.)
But there are also a few American actors who might be a good choice for the role. For some reason, I look at the new Pope and I'm thinking I've seen someone who resembles him playing an alien in the 'Star Trek' franchise.
There are two American actors who came to my mind. They should be recognizable for those who watch plenty of TV, even if you only watch a handful of shows.
Best known would be Steven Gilborn. His most recognizable roles in Toobworld would be ADA Gavin Bullock on 'The Practice', Uncle Rory on 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', and as Harold Morgan, the father of 'Ellen'.
Gilborn also got some experience under his belt by playing a priest once on 'Golden Girls'. And he also played a congressman on 'The West Wing', where my other choice comes from.
Charles Noland is best known, probably by face only or at least by his character name of "Steve". Steve is one of the regular reporters in the White House Press Corps.
Let me toss out just a few other possible ideas.....
Tom Baker
Patrick Stewart [He needs some make-up work.]
George Baker
Arthur Hill
Daniel J. Travanti
Wait a few weeks. Maybe even by the next issue, Entertainment Weekly will have come out with their casting suggestions for Benny Sixteen. (Hey, it's the 21st Century, baybeeee!)
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
"All faith must have a little doubt mixed in...
Otherwise it's just flabby sentimentality."
Dr. Miguelito Loveless
'The Wild, Wild West'
Otherwise it's just flabby sentimentality."
Dr. Miguelito Loveless
'The Wild, Wild West'
I shall write as a man from now on. CB, that kuku Arsenal lost. Anyway, why do I have so much stubble? Shave shave shave. Hate shaving. Stupid Gilette. Gosh, I am SO manly. I bet if I sniff my bushy pits, I'd drown in my excess testosterone and all the babes nearby will just flutter towards my pheramones in a hurry. Muahahaha! (manly laughter)
Dude, where's my car?
Diamonds are for faggots. YOU HEARD THAT BECKHAM?!
Dude, where's my car?
Diamonds are for faggots. YOU HEARD THAT BECKHAM?!
Oh yeah? I believe when I die, I will meet God (I use the term "God" loosely - I mean a superior being), who is a fucking big cockroach, like 12 feet tall. Why? Well, because God (in my view) is almighty, and everyone is scared of cockroaches! Maybe not everyone is scared of cockroaches when they are small, but a 12 foot cockroach??! Aha! And, and SHE (because only female cockroaches fly, and flying cockroaches are fucking scary) ... She can jolly well put me in anywhere she wants, as long as those hairy brown legs don't come near me ...!
Now don't you go around insulting my religion and beliefs.
Now don't you go around insulting my religion and beliefs.
Postnote: Why (some of) you Christians like that one ah?? A bit self-centred right? FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME: Nobody is talking about you or your God can?! I am only announcing my own new-found religion, and please respect my choice. Do not insult my God, giant cockroach or fluttering butterfly. My God is stupid and yours is not? Ugly I agree, but it is a matter of taste I guess! Tsk - differing opinions, different faiths. Leave me alone with mine! I am not imposing my views on you, am I?
There is nothing wrong with writing on MY blog about my religion right? Cockroach bless you.
Monday, April 18, 2005
THE CROSSOVER OF THE WEEK (ON TIME!)
First off, I'd like to apologize for being so late in posting the Crossover of the Week tie from the week before. Sometimes even I am amazed that I might just possibly have a life! (I was up in Connecticut, getting in some fun time bonding with my four month old nephew.)
Anyway, this week's top crossover began on 'Law & Order' and finished up on 'Law & Order: Trial By Jury'. This is something that will be happening at least one more time before the season ends, probably with either 'Special Victims Unit' or 'Criminal Intent' (if not both), as a means to pump up interest in the latest member of Dick Wolf's 'Law & Order' franchise.
In the first episode, Detective Ed Green was shot and nearly killed while escorting a witness for an upcoming trial. During the second show, his assailant was identified and prosecuted, but Green will be out of commission through the end of the season.
(Outside the box, this is to let Jesse L. Martin, the actor who plays Green, time off in order to film the movie version of "Rent". In his absence, Michael Imperioli will be appearing - no! Not as "Christuphuh" from 'The Sopranos', but as Detective Fontana's temporary partner. And from what I've heard, his character is Fontana's nephew.)
This turned out to be a triple crossover, because during the 'Trial By Jury' episode, the DA's investigation brought them into contact with Detective John Munch of the 'Special Victims Unit' who had pertinent information on the other shooting victim. And that's what made this crossover not only the top crossover of the week, (Okay, so it was the only one!) but also a milestone in TV History.....
Richard Belzer's character of Detective Munch is now the most "traveled" character in all of Toobworld. The Munchkin has now appeared in six different TV series, - two of those on other networks! - and in one TV reunion movie.
And it shouldn't be long before he finally catches up to Sam Drucker of 'Green Acres', 'Petticoat Junction', 'The Beverly Hillbillies', and 'Return To Green Acres' fame for the quantity of crossover episodes as that character. (For alls I know, he may have already exceded that mark.)
Here's the rundown for Munch's appearances:
REGULAR
'Homicide: Life On The Street'
'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'
GUEST APPEARANCES
'Law & Order'
'Law & Order: Criminal Intent'
'The X-Files' (on FOX)
'The Beat' (on UPN)
TV MOVIE
'Homicide: The Movie'
I think most critics and TV observers are counting the reunion movie as an extended finale for 'Homicide: Life On The Street'. If so, then up until this appearance, Munch was tied with five shows with Norm Petersen, Cliff Clavin, and Ray Barone. There may be others, but I'll have to look into that.
Without counting TV shows that moved part and parcel from one network to another, Munch probably stands alone in another distinction - that of the most networks as the same character, with three.
Exciting, isn't it? David Letterman tried to get a phrase popularized on his show and I think it's apt for this situation.
"I'm moist!"
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
P.S.
Hey, Lee Goldberg! How come you couldn't work him into 'Diagnosis Murder' while it was still on the air? Bwahahahaha!
Anyway, this week's top crossover began on 'Law & Order' and finished up on 'Law & Order: Trial By Jury'. This is something that will be happening at least one more time before the season ends, probably with either 'Special Victims Unit' or 'Criminal Intent' (if not both), as a means to pump up interest in the latest member of Dick Wolf's 'Law & Order' franchise.
In the first episode, Detective Ed Green was shot and nearly killed while escorting a witness for an upcoming trial. During the second show, his assailant was identified and prosecuted, but Green will be out of commission through the end of the season.
(Outside the box, this is to let Jesse L. Martin, the actor who plays Green, time off in order to film the movie version of "Rent". In his absence, Michael Imperioli will be appearing - no! Not as "Christuphuh" from 'The Sopranos', but as Detective Fontana's temporary partner. And from what I've heard, his character is Fontana's nephew.)
This turned out to be a triple crossover, because during the 'Trial By Jury' episode, the DA's investigation brought them into contact with Detective John Munch of the 'Special Victims Unit' who had pertinent information on the other shooting victim. And that's what made this crossover not only the top crossover of the week, (Okay, so it was the only one!) but also a milestone in TV History.....
Richard Belzer's character of Detective Munch is now the most "traveled" character in all of Toobworld. The Munchkin has now appeared in six different TV series, - two of those on other networks! - and in one TV reunion movie.
And it shouldn't be long before he finally catches up to Sam Drucker of 'Green Acres', 'Petticoat Junction', 'The Beverly Hillbillies', and 'Return To Green Acres' fame for the quantity of crossover episodes as that character. (For alls I know, he may have already exceded that mark.)
Here's the rundown for Munch's appearances:
REGULAR
'Homicide: Life On The Street'
'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'
GUEST APPEARANCES
'Law & Order'
'Law & Order: Criminal Intent'
'The X-Files' (on FOX)
'The Beat' (on UPN)
TV MOVIE
'Homicide: The Movie'
I think most critics and TV observers are counting the reunion movie as an extended finale for 'Homicide: Life On The Street'. If so, then up until this appearance, Munch was tied with five shows with Norm Petersen, Cliff Clavin, and Ray Barone. There may be others, but I'll have to look into that.
Without counting TV shows that moved part and parcel from one network to another, Munch probably stands alone in another distinction - that of the most networks as the same character, with three.
Exciting, isn't it? David Letterman tried to get a phrase popularized on his show and I think it's apt for this situation.
"I'm moist!"
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
P.S.
Hey, Lee Goldberg! How come you couldn't work him into 'Diagnosis Murder' while it was still on the air? Bwahahahaha!
Sunday, April 17, 2005
A DOUBLE IN JUSTICE
Dick Wolf only has a small section of the TV Universe to tend, despite the fact that he's got four weekly hour-long shows currently in production in which to do so. Whoever he's paying to be his continuity overseer needs to keep an eye on all the details. Otherwise, Chaos will get a foothold in 'Law & Order'.
Sure, casting is a big bugaboo - NYC has a deep and fantastic pool of actors to draw from, but it is finite and so there are plenty of repeat appearances in different roles. In fact, there's a website dedicated to all of the recurring actors:
LAW & ORDER'S REPEAT OFFENDERS
http://members.tripod.com/~MindHarp/lorepeat.html
This reminds me of the time John Mahoney played a piano tuner on 'Cheers' and then went on to play the father of 'Frasier'. How come so many characters look alike in all those 'Law & Order' shows? How come nobody noticed that Detective Lennie Briscoe looked just like a lawyer who showed up the year before?
To spare myself as a televisiologist that headache, I just have to assume there is something that differentiates those characters played by the same actor which is not visible to the audience viewing at home. (I doubt that it's because we're all so tightly packed here while living together in the Naked City that we alll started looking alike as if we were one big old married couple aggregate.)
But even so, more care should have been taken with one particular actor and the roles he's playing on the various shows in the 'Law & Order' franchise.
David Lipman is a character actor who would have found plenty of work back in the days of the old movie studios; in the mold of S.Z. Sakall, John McGiver, Gene Lockhart, or Guy Kibbee. Pudgy, bald, and bespectacled, Lipman can be counted on for a great delivery with his tort retorts issued from the bench while playing a judge.
Actually, while playing judges.
Since at least 1992, Lipman has been playing Judge Morris Torledsky on the original 'Law & Order'. But when the empire began to grow and now there was 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit', suddenly he's appearing as a judge on that as well - but going by the name of Arthur Cohen.
Both shows are supposed to be in the same universe. Even if we disregard all the other shows out there in Toobworld, at least the 'Law & Order' shows should all be inter-related. After all, they've had crossovers of their main characters, and you don't see Dann Florek joining the cast of 'L&O:SVU' as anybody else but his Captain Donald Cragen.
And David Lipman is notable in his appearance. I don't think there's a toupee in the world that might fudge his facial features enough to make you think: maybe he's a different person. And they're not even trying with the toupee defense! As both Judge Torledsky and Judge Cohen, Lipman has that same bald-pated, tubby owlishness about him.
Somebody should have told the 'SVU' prop man that the judges' nameplates were NOT interchangeable!
So how to splain it away? The 'Law & Order' corner of the TV Universe is grounded in reality; we can't go looking for trekkian technobabble regarding cloning or alien doppelgangers to provide the excuse.
(I was pushing it when I banished the one episode "Gov Luv" to the evil mirror universe, and by suggesting that a philanthropic organization known as the Kent Foundation had been established in memory of the late Clark Kent, a journalist from Metropolis who passed away several decades before......)
Well, there is a possible splainin. It's an old chestnut that we've had to trot out in the past, but it's a fail-safe. Established by a classic TV theme song, this splainin has roots too deep to just brush off. Once broadcast, everything becomes part of the Toobworld Dynamic and can be called upon for use anywhere within the TV Universe.....
That's my story, your Honor, and I'm sticking to it!
Here's a rundown of David Lipman's episodes in the 'Law & Order' universe, as listed by the IMDb.com:
"Law & Order: Trial by Jury" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Forty-One Shots" (episode # 1.2) 4 March 2005
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Arthur Cohen" in episode: "Contagious" (episode # 6.11) 11 January 2005
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Cohen" in episode: "Brotherhood" (episode # 5.12) 6 January 2004
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Floater" (episode # 14.7) 12 November 2003
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Cohen" in episode: "Abomination" (episode # 5.8) 11 November 2003
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Smoke" (episode # 13.24) 21 May 2003
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Kid Pro Quo" (episode # 13.20) 30 April 2003
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Arthur Cohen" in episode: "Futility" (episode # 4.22) 25 April 2003 "Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Absentia" (episode # 13.13) 12 February 2003
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Cohen" in episode: "Waste" (episode # 4.8) 15 November 2002
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Hitman" (episode # 13.6) 13 November 2002
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Tragedy on Rye" (episode # 13.4) 30 October 2002
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Cohen" in episode: "Chameleon" (episode # 4.1) 27 September 2002
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Arthur Cohen" in episode: "Greed" (episode # 3.20) 26 April 2002
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Possesion" (episode # 12.5) 31 October 2001
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "School Daze" (episode # 11.22) 16 May 2001
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Burn, Baby, Burn" (episode # 11.6) 22 November 2000
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Black, White and Blue" (episode # 10.17) 22 March 2000
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Juvenile" (episode # 9.18) 14 April 1999
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Faccia a Faccia" (episode # 8.15) 25 February 1998
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Harvest" (episode # 8.4) 29 October 1997
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Double Down" (episode # 7.19) 16 April 1997
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Legacy" (episode # 7.10) 15 January 1997
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Corpus Delicti" (episode # 6.11) 17 January 1996
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Performance" (episode # 5.14) 8 February 1995
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Virtue" (episode # 5.8) 23 November 1994
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Old Friends" (episode # 4.22) 25 May 1994
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "The Pursuit of Happiness" (episode # 4.10) 1 December 1993
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Mother Love" (episode # 3.15) 24 February 1993
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Self Defense" (episode # 3.7) 11 November 1992
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Intolerance" (episode # 2.20) 14 April 1992
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "The Fertile Fields" (episode # 2.19) 7 April 1992
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Sure, casting is a big bugaboo - NYC has a deep and fantastic pool of actors to draw from, but it is finite and so there are plenty of repeat appearances in different roles. In fact, there's a website dedicated to all of the recurring actors:
LAW & ORDER'S REPEAT OFFENDERS
http://members.tripod.com/~MindHarp/lorepeat.html
This reminds me of the time John Mahoney played a piano tuner on 'Cheers' and then went on to play the father of 'Frasier'. How come so many characters look alike in all those 'Law & Order' shows? How come nobody noticed that Detective Lennie Briscoe looked just like a lawyer who showed up the year before?
To spare myself as a televisiologist that headache, I just have to assume there is something that differentiates those characters played by the same actor which is not visible to the audience viewing at home. (I doubt that it's because we're all so tightly packed here while living together in the Naked City that we alll started looking alike as if we were one big old married couple aggregate.)
But even so, more care should have been taken with one particular actor and the roles he's playing on the various shows in the 'Law & Order' franchise.
David Lipman is a character actor who would have found plenty of work back in the days of the old movie studios; in the mold of S.Z. Sakall, John McGiver, Gene Lockhart, or Guy Kibbee. Pudgy, bald, and bespectacled, Lipman can be counted on for a great delivery with his tort retorts issued from the bench while playing a judge.
Actually, while playing judges.
Since at least 1992, Lipman has been playing Judge Morris Torledsky on the original 'Law & Order'. But when the empire began to grow and now there was 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit', suddenly he's appearing as a judge on that as well - but going by the name of Arthur Cohen.
Both shows are supposed to be in the same universe. Even if we disregard all the other shows out there in Toobworld, at least the 'Law & Order' shows should all be inter-related. After all, they've had crossovers of their main characters, and you don't see Dann Florek joining the cast of 'L&O:SVU' as anybody else but his Captain Donald Cragen.
And David Lipman is notable in his appearance. I don't think there's a toupee in the world that might fudge his facial features enough to make you think: maybe he's a different person. And they're not even trying with the toupee defense! As both Judge Torledsky and Judge Cohen, Lipman has that same bald-pated, tubby owlishness about him.
Somebody should have told the 'SVU' prop man that the judges' nameplates were NOT interchangeable!
So how to splain it away? The 'Law & Order' corner of the TV Universe is grounded in reality; we can't go looking for trekkian technobabble regarding cloning or alien doppelgangers to provide the excuse.
(I was pushing it when I banished the one episode "Gov Luv" to the evil mirror universe, and by suggesting that a philanthropic organization known as the Kent Foundation had been established in memory of the late Clark Kent, a journalist from Metropolis who passed away several decades before......)
Well, there is a possible splainin. It's an old chestnut that we've had to trot out in the past, but it's a fail-safe. Established by a classic TV theme song, this splainin has roots too deep to just brush off. Once broadcast, everything becomes part of the Toobworld Dynamic and can be called upon for use anywhere within the TV Universe.....
"Still they're cousins,
Identical cousins and you'll find
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike.
You can lose your mind
When cousins are two of a kind."
That's my story, your Honor, and I'm sticking to it!
Here's a rundown of David Lipman's episodes in the 'Law & Order' universe, as listed by the IMDb.com:
"Law & Order: Trial by Jury" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Forty-One Shots" (episode # 1.2) 4 March 2005
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Arthur Cohen" in episode: "Contagious" (episode # 6.11) 11 January 2005
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Cohen" in episode: "Brotherhood" (episode # 5.12) 6 January 2004
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Floater" (episode # 14.7) 12 November 2003
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Cohen" in episode: "Abomination" (episode # 5.8) 11 November 2003
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Smoke" (episode # 13.24) 21 May 2003
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Kid Pro Quo" (episode # 13.20) 30 April 2003
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Arthur Cohen" in episode: "Futility" (episode # 4.22) 25 April 2003 "Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Absentia" (episode # 13.13) 12 February 2003
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Cohen" in episode: "Waste" (episode # 4.8) 15 November 2002
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Hitman" (episode # 13.6) 13 November 2002
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Tragedy on Rye" (episode # 13.4) 30 October 2002
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Cohen" in episode: "Chameleon" (episode # 4.1) 27 September 2002
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" playing "Judge Arthur Cohen" in episode: "Greed" (episode # 3.20) 26 April 2002
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Possesion" (episode # 12.5) 31 October 2001
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "School Daze" (episode # 11.22) 16 May 2001
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Burn, Baby, Burn" (episode # 11.6) 22 November 2000
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Black, White and Blue" (episode # 10.17) 22 March 2000
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Juvenile" (episode # 9.18) 14 April 1999
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Faccia a Faccia" (episode # 8.15) 25 February 1998
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Harvest" (episode # 8.4) 29 October 1997
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Double Down" (episode # 7.19) 16 April 1997
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Legacy" (episode # 7.10) 15 January 1997
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Corpus Delicti" (episode # 6.11) 17 January 1996
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Performance" (episode # 5.14) 8 February 1995
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Virtue" (episode # 5.8) 23 November 1994
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Old Friends" (episode # 4.22) 25 May 1994
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "The Pursuit of Happiness" (episode # 4.10) 1 December 1993
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Mother Love" (episode # 3.15) 24 February 1993
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Self Defense" (episode # 3.7) 11 November 1992
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "Intolerance" (episode # 2.20) 14 April 1992
"Law & Order" playing "Judge Morris Torledsky" in episode: "The Fertile Fields" (episode # 2.19) 7 April 1992
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Evangelising has a time, and funerals are not it.
PERHAPS some of you might have already known from my blog, or perhaps with Singapore's mere three degrees of separation it is not difficult to guess - 20-year-old motorcyclist Goh Jingwei, who was killed last Saturday in the shocking bus-bike accident, was a friend of mine.
It was a heart-wrenching and shocking ordeal for me, not only because of the cruel way Jingwei went, but also because he was the first of my friends to go.
I cannot claim to have attended many funerals (nor would I ever want that), but so far, those that I've been to before Jingwei's were gracefully arranged.
In my opinion, the service, no matter what religion the deceased may be, is overtly important. It is the last memory one can have of the deceased, and unpleasant as funerals always are, personalized eulogies by loved ones combined with tastefully prepared rituals or gentle bereavement speeches can seal the deceased in the best memory one can remember him as.
In Jingwei's case, it was uncertain whether he was a Christian or not, but he did express an interest in the said religion, and, according to his friends, had attended church twice. Thus his family, who were not Christians, acted accordingly and held a Christian funeral for him.
The chosen pastor, naturally, did not know Jingwei personally. That cannot be blamed. But what made me feel angry, was the way the pastor had to repeatedly glance back at his piece of paper in hand to get Jingwei's name correct, and yet managed to deliver his memorized speeches flawlessly.
Excuse me, but that is just plain offensive.
To all of us present, Jingwei is so important... and yet, the pastor could not even put in a little extra of effort to memorise a three-syllable name?
An inappropriate analogy perhaps, but I remember when I was a banquet waitress I've always told myself that it might be just one of the many times I am serving a wedding dinner, but that evening is eternally special for the couple. And therefore, I always put on my best performance for these weddings. Shouldn't the pastor have the same attitude; or is Jingwei just unimportant because he is doing this speech thing everyday?
That being said, a different pastor from the previous day was actually doing active evangelizing during the service.
Among all the heartbroken people that Jingwei had left behind, he had the cheek to actually announce, I quote, that he would "like to take this opportunity" to urge those present to accept Christ, or well, not be able to go to heaven like Jingwei did.
I'd love to spew some vulgarities at this point of time, but urgh, I can't. (Hey, I can now! KNNBCCB!)
What does he mean by "take this opportunity"? This is my friend's funeral, and it will not be used as a billboard for his personal preaching! He was hired to comfort those in grief, to pray for Jingwei, and to conduct the whole ceremony - most definitely not for non-Jingwei related issues such as evangelizing!
I recognize that he wants to spread his beliefs, but there is a time for it, and the moment he chose could not have been more wrong. It was taking advantage of a person's death for his own religion's benefit (although he is assuming the benefit for 'converters' but keep in mind not everyone agrees with that, and I most definitely don't)! It is ok if Jingwei specified, before he passed away, that he wanted his faith to be spread, but Jingwei most certainly did not do such a thing.
But the issue has passed. It doesn't matter anymore, because no matter how the funeral went, Jingwei will still be with us (his family and friends) spiritually, although he has left physically.
What matters, however, is that such atrocity does not happen in future. I am writing this article as people tend to let pass these hiccups because the atmosphere is sombre enough without extra trouble - which I think is a terrible mistake. The funeral is going to be the last impression of the deceased one can have, and it has to be done properly. It should not be tolerated, such insensitivity to the deceased and family.
**************
Personally speaking, since I am a non-Christian, I find it pretty - condescending - that pastors tell the story of how Xtians all go into Heaven - whilst the rest of us have to stay and suffer on Earth.
It sounds like a nicely-spun fairy tale to me, and though it might help loads of others get over their grief (which is a good thing), I still feel uncomfortable with that particular belief. Here are some of my concerns in brief:
1) The pastor telling us not to be sad, for JW was taken away by GOD to a better place.
a) You bloody do not even know JW till he is lying there dead, OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T BLOODY BE SAD. Don't even try to understand our feelings, and don't tell us what to do, because you DON'T KNOW A THING. Just shut up, you hired stranger. (It is not the pastor's fault I know, but I want to be angry at something)
b) If God truly wanted to take him away, why did God chose such a tragic death? Is it to torture his friends and family? Why can't he go in a peaceful manner? (If you don't already know, JW's head got rolled over by a TIBS bus after skidding off his bike)
2) It was said that Jesus understand our grief, for he too lived as a human, and he knows we all have heavy hearts. He however urges us not to feel upset, for the deceased as gone to a better, sunshiny place called heaven. So ... Does this Jesus guy expect us to feel upset, or not??? (If you don't get the contradiction, I am not going to bother explaining)
3) If it is true that dying means God wants to take us to him, then how come pastors take medication when they have terminal cancer? Just go la.
4) If living is merely for the glamourous afterlife with God (scoff, as long as we believe in Him that is - poor kindly monks), then what's the point of this life? To separate us into hell and heaven?
5) I've got a no. 5, but at this point of time my mother just started to scold me regarding chalet matters (which I am starting to feel is far more troubles than it is worth), so I forgot it.
Excuses. So many reasons spun out of nowhere to cover these questions. I just cannot accept it.
Maybe Christians can answer me, but don't. One thing I hate hearing is people putting words into God's mouth, like they play chess with him everyday. My Christian friend heard my questions. He cannot answer me, because God (is supposed to) have infinite wisdom, and we mere humans cannot fathom how he thinks. A good enough answer for me.
**************************
Note to Christians: The first part of the article is targeted at the particular behaviour of the individual pastors, and not the religion. Do understand that. I agree that most pastors would not do such insensitive things, or even if they do evangelise it is ok since the deceased is an staurch Christian and he/she would like to spread his/her faith. But as JW's friends, we find that behaviour hard to accept, because we know that JW would not have liked it. He never evangelised to us. Even though the pastor doesn't know this, his choice of words were still wrong anyway.
The queries later on, are my doubts, and do try to answer them if you can --- though I am not interested in your own answer. If you want, quote me the bible.
**********************
"The Babel fish," said the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy quietly, "is small, yellow and leechlike, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier but from those around it. (......) The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language.
"Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof for the nonexistance of God.
"The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'
" 'But,' says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It would not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'
" 'Oh dear,' said God, "I haven't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."
---- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1979)
Did I already say how much I love Douglas Adams?
(This story is not relevant to the first parts, but I was reminded of it and just put it in anyway)
****************
Postnote: To all the buggers who are saying that it is ok to evangelise at the funeral, HOW FUCKING INSENSITIVE CAN YOU GET? Ok look, you are saying the pastor is just doing his job. So it is justified to do it, anytime, anyplace is it? Just coz he is "doing his job"?
Excuse me but that makes no sense.
Answer me this then, why don't the pastor step into a Muslim wedding and start preaching? Why not? Because it is disrespectful, and people are not interested. The same for the funeral. Christian though it might be, people who are there are there to pay their last respects to JW, and not listen to general preaching talks - which are available at your friendly neighbourhood church anytime. We want to hear about Jingwei, and as I have mentioned, funerals are PERSONAL EVENTS.
I don't care if death is related to Christianity. It is just plain rude. I quote one reader on his comment: "i will agree that it is insensitive just as an insurance agent would be trying to sell a premium plan at the funeral."
One great analogy. So what if the premium plan is a good thing? So what if the insurance agent is "just doing his job"? Tell me about how I am going to hell another time please.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)