URBI DE TELEVISIONE ET ORBI DE TOOB

HABEMUS PAPAM!
WE HAVE A POPE!

And now that the Conclave of Cardinals has accomplished their task in choosing a new leader for the world's 1.1 billion Catholics, it is time for the Conclave of Casting Agents to find the man to replace Eugene Greytak as Toobworld's representation of the current Pope.

And after they've made their choice, they burn the other resume head-shots so that the smoke signifies we have a new Tele-Pope.

I had a long night.......

Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger of Germany has been chosen and he has taken the name of Pope Benedict XVI. Personally, I was hoping that whoever was chosen as the Pontiff, that the name chosen would be "Sixtus".

I'm a big fan of 'The Prisoner', you see.

Pope Benedict XVI is a tall, stately and seemingly vital for a man of 78 years of age. If you're going for a man to play the Pope mostly as a visual figure, as Gene Greytak did, then I'm sure there are plenty of older actors who would be happy for the chance to play such a highly visible part, even if it is a supporting role and probably a recurring role at best if not just a one-shot.

But if you need to cast for a TV movie, as happened for Pope John Paul II, you want a name actor like Albert Finney had done for the former Karol Cardinal Wojtyla.

Since Pope Benedict XVI is from Germany, it could be a safe assumption that his accent would be... British.

I'm not going to go mucking about in all those stories about Ratzinger's past, but most of your best TV and movie Germans were played by English actors. (Although Ted Knight was a VERY convincing officer in an episode of 'Combat!'.)

But there are also a few American actors who might be a good choice for the role. For some reason, I look at the new Pope and I'm thinking I've seen someone who resembles him playing an alien in the 'Star Trek' franchise.

There are two American actors who came to my mind. They should be recognizable for those who watch plenty of TV, even if you only watch a handful of shows.

Best known would be Steven Gilborn. His most recognizable roles in Toobworld would be ADA Gavin Bullock on 'The Practice', Uncle Rory on 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', and as Harold Morgan, the father of 'Ellen'.

Gilborn also got some experience under his belt by playing a priest once on 'Golden Girls'. And he also played a congressman on 'The West Wing', where my other choice comes from.

Charles Noland is best known, probably by face only or at least by his character name of "Steve". Steve is one of the regular reporters in the White House Press Corps.

Let me toss out just a few other possible ideas.....

Tom Baker
Patrick Stewart [He needs some make-up work.]
George Baker
Arthur Hill
Daniel J. Travanti

Wait a few weeks. Maybe even by the next issue, Entertainment Weekly will have come out with their casting suggestions for Benny Sixteen. (Hey, it's the 21st Century, baybeeee!)

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

"All faith must have a little doubt mixed in...
Otherwise it's just flabby sentimentality."
Dr. Miguelito Loveless
'The Wild, Wild West'