DEMANDS OF THE WGA

On his return to the airwaves last night - with a deal in place so that he could have his writers back - David Letterman had ten striking members of the WGA on the show to present the Top Ten List:

Top Ten Demands of the Striking Writers

10] "Complimentary tote bag with next insulting contract offer"

(From "The Daily Show," Tim Carvell)

9] "No rollbacks in health benefits, so I can treat the hypothermia I caught on the picket lines"

(From "The Colbert Report," Laura Krafft)

8] "Full salary and benefits for my imaginary writing partner, Lester"

(Daytime television writer, Melissa Salmons)

7] "Members of the AMPTP must explain what the hell AMPTP stands for"

(From "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," Warren Leight)

6] "No disciplinary action taken against any writer caught having an inappropriate relationship with a copier"

(From "The Colbert Report," Jay Katsir)

5] "I'd like a date with a woman"

(From "The Daily Show," Steve Bodow)

4] "Hazard pay for breaking up fights on 'The View'"

(Writer and Director, Nora Ephron)

3] "I'm no accountant, but instead of us getting 4 cents for a $20 dollar DVD, how about we get $20 for a 4-cent DVD?"

(From "Law & Order," Gina Johnfrido)

2] "I don't have a joke -- I just want to remind everyone that we're on strike, so none of us are responsible for this lame list"

(From "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," Chris Albers)

And the Number One Demand of the Striking Writers:

1] "Producers must immediately remove their heads from their asses"(Thurber Award-winning author, Alan Zweibel)
Welcome back, Dave and everybody at Worldwide Pants!

I hope you're the cause for the AMPTP to finally give up!

BCnU!
Toby OB

(Fully supporting Demand #5!)