Stay The F**k Away!

There seems to be a pattern developing here. At first I didn't see it, but now it is unavoidable. The level of deception and sleaziness that has enveloped the highest levels of pro cycling shows me that this sport is no closer to cleaning itself up than Major League Baseball was prior to being exposed by Jose Canseco and the Congressional hearings that followed.

Mellow Johnny is coming back...but he won't allow his own samples from '99(when everyone says he doped) to be re-tested. He also is promising a "transparent" comeback, but his personal "tester" has been questioned for using outdated methods and having conflict of interest concerns.

Alexander Vinokourov now says he wants to come back. Remember...he was disgraced in the 2007 Tour for blood doping and caused Astana to be banned from the 2008 event. Guess what?... That's cool! Vino has worked the system in his favor.

After being caught cheating in 2007, he was given a one year ban (not the normal two years that the U.C.I. usually hands out) by the Kazakh Cycling Federation...but then promptly retired. Since he was retired, the U.C.I. didn't appeal the ban for a stronger penalty because they figured why bother. They should have bothered!

Vinokourov has now served his "one" year ban and has decided to...Un-retire! And the beauty of it all is that he wants back on Astana. What makes this even sweeter is that Slim Shady Bruyneel might not have any say in the matter. You see, Vino is very well connected in Kazakhstan, and all it would take would be a phone call to put him back on the team.

Jan Ullrich has been questioned endlessly about a comeback of his own, especially since his main rival announced his return. Ullrich has always said that any comeback would be predicated on his past exploits and involvements not being pursued by cycling authorities. Since everyone knows he got away with "something" all those years, and he knows it as well, he 'aint comin' back.

This sport is not going to clean up until some third tier, disgruntled, fame seeking, weasel pro cyclist comes forward and breaks the first rule of Fight Club.