Gurgle..gurgle..gurgle..gurgle..

..an old tub of goo shuffles down a dusty road as the Twilight Zone theme fades. We hear his thoughts:

Well, just about now, the pearly gates should be hoving into view. It was a pretty tough trip what with trying to get the Massachusetts law changed back around to fit the circumstances du jour of my senate situation . Yeah, that was a sweat what with my failing health and the importance of that senate seat I held since trooping around those dreary Mass state fairs pressing flesh with the - ugh - common folks in order to earn what should have been my birthright. I had to actually campaign against that dreary son of Henry Cabot Lodge and meet all of those ordinary people in 1962.
Horrible experience.

Maybe if I applied myself a little more during my first run at Hahvahd I mightn't had to have enlisted in the army and ask daddy to keep me out of Korea. But, when that all was behind me, I resumed my rightful place and eventually got into UVA for my law degree.

Too bad about Joe, John and Robert, but I always thought that the destiny of this family would fall to me. And things were looking decidedly up as I closed in on the prize, working my way through the senate, becoming majority whip in in 1969.

Yep, '72 looked like my year, it did.

If I had been a little more careful driving the backwoods of Martha's Vineyard I might have been able to make the run the run for President a little earlier than 1980. Still, I had to let my two-day suspension and the other details fade from the public mind before I threw my hat in the ring against that addled-pate peanut farmer from Georgia.

The way he got pasted from pillar-to-post in 1980, I could have won the thing and probably beat that old, fuddy-duddy Hollywood actor.

Yep, as I said, it has been a hard journey -- especially these last few miles from the compound to the pearly gates up ahead. I had to stop off at a couple of road houses for a bracer or two to clear my mind. But, that's over. Any minute now..

..funny, I thought there's be more there to greet me -- Joe Senior, Joe Junior, Jack, Jackie, Bobby, Eunice, all the old crowd -- but there only seems to be this old, bearded guy in a long robe with a very big book..

..and a slender young lady in dripping wet clothes. Wait! She's whispering into the old goat's ear and pointing to me! He's making a mark, closing the book; they're both turning away and closing the gate behind them. What's that sign say on the gate?

"NO ADMITTANCE..TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED!"