Has anyone ever made you so mad that you just knew that you were going to do everything in your power to make them pay? It feels good, doesn't it? You become so hyper-focused on retribution that nothing else matters. Mongo had the opportunity today to unleash the fury and lay waste to the worst kind of douchebag...the "child endangerer".
The Sun finally came out and Mongo was anxious to get out there and test out the temporary spoke. Unfortunately, my cat, Snacks McGee*, forced me to watch two hours of ESPN so he could get some last minute information before he called the bookie. So, at about twelve thirty, I put on the team kit and rolled out the driveway heading towards the Silver Comet Trail.
I made a quick stop at the shop to chat with "Shady" and "Boonen" about the "Cadeltastic" World Championships, and then started what I thought was going to be a forty mile shakedown ride. I realized early on that the new spoke was going to be fine...or it was going to break...and I had no control over either...so I was going to ride like I normally did. And by the way, so far so good. Mongo is quite the "artiste" with a spoke wrench.
I had a smooth twenty miles on the way out, dodging the crowds, crossing paths with teamates, who were all obviously training for the resumption of the Fall Classics 23/2300 Hammerfest season tomorrow night, and generally having a good ride. The way back was another story.
As soon as Mongo turned around at the twenty mile marker, I was jumped by three guys. After I dispatched them, I got jumped again by a TT guy. Finally, after I lost him and was cooling down at about 19 mph, feeling annoyed and tired, a guy comes flying past me like I'm standing still. W.T.F.!
As a cyclist, if that's ever happened to you, there is an immediate gathering of information. Where did he come from? What kind of bike is he riding? Does he look like a legit rider? Was he drafting me the whole time? Do I need to chase him down?...After gathering all the information, Mongo decided that this guy was going to be a worthy opponent...but very manageable.
Mongo really enjoys the cat and mouse game of the weekend smackdown. If someone wants to be social and work together, I'm happy for the company and I'll adjust my speed accordingly. If they want to be an ass and try and drop me immediately, well...they're gonna get "served".
This guy was on a carbon Fuji with some nice Cane Creek wheels and Ultegra all the way around. I got to see it up close as I would draft him mercilessly every time he would try to break away from me. Every once in a while, due to traffic, I would go to the front and slow it down on purpose so he would think I was getting tired. He would always come around me at full steam looking back to see if I'd answer. I wouldn't do anything until he turned back around, then I would sprint up to his wheel. The shock on his face was priceless when he turned around again and I was drinking water while coasting in his draft.
I was about ready to finish him off when we rolled up to an intersection crowded with other cyclists, including children. A little girl had just pushed the button for the stoplight to change when my opponent takes off through the intersection...the light was still green for traffic. Well, this little girl starts pedaling after him because she though the light had changed. Lets just say that what followed was a combination of screaming parents and screeching brakes. Luckily, no one was hit by a car... but it was close. This guy had purposely jumped a red light to get an advantage on me, and by doing so, had almost caused a horrible tragedy. He wasn't going to get away with it.
Once I realized everyone was okay, I took off after this dude with thoughts of doing bad things to him. He had such a head start that It took me a while to catch him, but it allowed my anger to rise to a boil. Finally, I caught up with him and let him have it. I wish I could say that he had no remorse and I beat the crap out of him, but the truth is a little different.
After I verbally lambasted him for being an irresponsible asshole, he actually apologized to me and turned around to go back and apologize to the little girl and her family. What a dick! He stole my thunder.
(* Not his real name)
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