Stupid Is As Stupid Does: Surviving The Ride

It could have been such a great day. All indications leading up to 9:30 am yesterday morning were that I was going to have a strong ride. It didn't really turn out that way...sort of.

Mongo had decided to once again venture into the land of Doctors, Treks, douchebags, Litespeeds, and Cat 1 racers... A fifty-man peloton, 40+ mile, 19.5 average speed, multiple sustained climb, hard-ass ride. Under normal circumstances, depending on whether the racers are feeling frisky, Mongo is hanging on near the end of the line...But after these last couple of months of "Cat 5 Domination" training on LPE, I was feeling pretty good about improving my stock on this ride.

All weather reports from the night before said that it was going to be 51 degrees and partly sunny during the meat of the ride. Since I knew I'd be pushing hard all day, I didn't want to overdress. I felt pretty confident, based on riding in temperatures this Winter from the 20's to the 50's, that I knew what I was doing when it came to layering. Had the weather forecast actually been correct, I would have been fine.

Here's what I was wearing...Shorts/ Short socks/ Two long-sleeve Under Armour base layers/ Short-sleeve jersey/ Scull cap/ Fingerless gloves.

Have you ever left on a long ride and just knew that something was wrong? I had that feeling as soon as I left my driveway. It was overcast, misting rain, and cold as shit. I knew that I was under dressed, and for a split second thought about turning around, but I was running late for the start of the ride and I anticipated the weather forecast playing itself out as advertised. It never did.

While staging in the parking lot, Mongo had to assure at least five guys that I was "indeed" freezing, and that I was neither a douchebag nor from Belgium...and I fully understood how ridiculous I looked. When we rolled out, I knew I was in for a long day.

I won't go into the details of the actual ride itself other than to say I survived. It was honestly the most miserable I've ever been on a bike for a sustained period of time. There was even a brief moment where I didn't think I'd make it. My toes, fingers, forearms, and ass, were all numb and useless because of the cold. It misted rain most of the ride, the wind gusted to 20 mph consistently, and the temperature never got above 40 degrees. But...Mongo hung tough, never cramped, and finished ahead of about eight people. All things considered, I was proud of my effort. I have no doubt that had I not been half way to hypothermia, all of my Winter training would have paid off nicely.