Collectible Junk

Derek Jeter swings for the fences for 3000th hit.

Do you ever have that itching sensation when you visit some peoples homes?  You know when your skin crawls at the sight of the inch of dust that collects on top of their valuable collection of collectibles?  Or when everywhere you look it's like a museum of creepy porcelain clowns that look like a horror film? Or the 100 framed pictures of Derek Jeter and all of his baseball cards and magazine covers?  Yeah, me too.  There is just something so wrong with the "need" to collect this junk.

Call me the Anti-Horder or whatever you wish but this Greek Girl and her touch of OCD "Offended by Collections Disorder" is about to clean house on some people.  Have you ever seen that commercial where the woman grabs hold of the Swiffer duster thingy and starts cleaning her friends house? Yeah? Well that's me.  I cannot stand it when stuff sits and collects dust on so-called priceless artifacts shrouded in plastic or behind a glass case.  What is the point anyway?  Why have the stuff if you aren't ever going to use it?

Don't get me wrong, I get the point that some people enjoy doing this kind of thing and it's a pastime for a lot of Americans to collect things.  At least if you are going to do it, make sure it's not offensive and blatantly the only thing you decorate with.  I can see it now after Derek Jeter's 3000th hit this weekend, Mr. Bricks will start sleeping with NY Yankee bedsheets.  Oh wait, my mental eyes are burning!!! Ahh what was I thinking?!? That was a terrible image I can never replay in my precious Greek noggin.

Now okay, amazing as it is, I get that if you caught Jeter's 3000th hit you could add it to some collection and let it sit on the wall of your home and show everyone who comes over, or you could have sold it to some other sucker for $250k and then stick your thumb in your buddies eye.  But who in their right mind would pay for that ball? It's just a ball and all it would do is just sit on a wall and collect dust anyway.

I know what you're thinking, "Come on Ava, there must be something you collect?" I admit, I have two collections:

1. My money and it's kept in the bank.  It's not collecting dust, it collects interest.

2. My ticket stubs from the national anthem's I performed for major sports teams.  Those are kept in the back of the closet in a Tupperware container and have no value accept in the memory they serve me.

Call me guilty but at least they aren't plastering the wall or some creepy collection of dust collecting dolls.  Either way, if you are going to have a collection there have to be some simple rules to avoid crossing over into the "Hoarder Zone".

1.  The collection MUST be of sentimental value and not based on monetary value.  It's not like you can retire off that crap anyway?  That is what a 401k is for.  Unless you can afford buying Picaso's and Monet's but seriously if you could, it would be a tax shelter and not so much of a collection to retire from.

2.  If it collects dust it's not valuable enough and must be either sold, donated or tossed out.  No questions asked.

3.  You don't prominently display it or parade it about when your friends come over.  It's like whenever I hang out with Mr. Bricks he insists on showing me his clown collection It's so bad he sometimes walks around his house in his old face paint and clown shoes. Now that is just down right scary!

4.  It must be simple and it must be able to be put away and kept out of site. No dust collectors allowed (see rule #2).

Well, happy day!

Blessings ~
Ava xo

P/S ~ Rule #5 says, if you collect my music you can collect anything you want even if it collects dust.  (wink-wink) http://www.avaaston.com/store.html

Live Like You Were Dying

Ava Aston at Shea Stadium singing National Anthem before Mets game

I always try to make the best of each and every day. I guess to borrow a phrase from the Tim McGraw song, I could say I like to live like I was dying. Don't fret, The Greek Blonde girl isn't going anywhere just yet. You can't get rid of me before my manager Mr. Bricks gets me a record deal, can you?

Speaking of old man Bricks, When I asked him if he felt like he was living like he was dying he said,  "Ava, I always live like I am dying."  And I had the best come back on the planet, I said, "Yah Mr. Bricks, that's because you eat a McRib at McDonalds everyday. That'll make you die."   I thought it was funny, but I guess he was wearing his Mr. Grumpy pants that day. He just rolled his one lazy eye at me and left the room.

Live Like You We're Dying by Tim McGraw

"Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An' what did you do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?"

I think Tim McGraw is an awesome singer. I think that song happens to be one of his best songs ever. I have never met Tim, but one time when I was asked to sing the National Anthem at the old Shea Stadium I had a chance to meet his dad, baseball player Tug McGraw. This is a pretty funny story....lots of muckery for sure.

I was schedule to perform the National Anthem for "The Greatest Day in Mets History" day and since I had sung at that stadium several times before, it was kinda like routine for me. I knew exactly where to go and exactly where my dressing room was. However, when I got there my normal dressing room was filled with a bunch of guys. My baby sister Marie was with me to do my hair and to do my make-up.  I call Marie, Nene, which is Greek for "baby."

After Nene was finished with my make-up, and since I'm not trying to keep Up with the Kardashians, I wasn't going to change my clothes and get naked in front of a bunch of guys, so I asked all of the guys in the room to leave. Ok, I said "Get Out!" Now remember, I'm Greek, so whenever I talk, I talk fast and loud and I use my hands. So, when I said "Get Out!" Greek style these guys went running!!

That's right I kicked them out.

Nene was standing there with her jaw about ready to hit the floor after they all left. She said:

Nene: "Ava, Do you know who you just kicked out of the room?"

Ava: "No" why? Who were they?"

Nene: "Umm, Willie Mays, Keith Hernandez and Tug McGraw."

Ava: "Willie Mays, That's a funny name....and What's a Tug?"

Nene: "Shame on you Ava"

Ok, so I am not up to par with all of the names and faces of the great New York Mets. There are worse things in life...I could have a lazy eye!

Have a great day friends and don't forget to make it a great day and live like you were dying!

Blessings,

Ava

xox