60 Minutes

If you only had 60 minutes left, what would you do?

I am not sure why I was thinking about this, but I was wondering if I only had 60 minutes to live what would I do? Where would I go? Who would I want to talk to or go see? Would I even want to know that I only had 60 minutes left? I think I would want to know... because I could then at least enjoy the last 60 minutes doing something that brought me a great deal of pleasure. 

A few years ago when I had an apartment in Brooklyn I heard someone in the building died in the laundry room. Yep, right there in the laundry room - sometime between adding the fabric softener and the spin cycle she dropped dead. I can't believe she would have chosen to spend the last 60 minutes of her life plugging quarters into a Maytag and waiting for the washing machine to quit spinning.  I have often thought about that lady from Apt B4 and its made me want to be a little more prepared.

So, in case I get to know when my last 60 minutes of my life will be, here is a list of options I can choose from on how to spend that magical hour. These are in no particular order it's just how they followed out of my Greek coconut as I was writing this.

• Read the Bible
• Get a tattoo of a Grammy Award so I can die saying I had a Grammy
• Line up my sneakers so they can be buried with me (I am not joking folks)
• Write one last song
• Get a cup a cup of coffee and savior it. Although I know they must have coffee in heaven otherwise it would be Hell, just sayin'
• Look at my To Do List make sure there is nothing left to do
• Get one last slice of Pizza
• I can't work out because that takes longer than an hour. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!
• Call my family and friends and tell them how much I love them. Oh what a shame Mr. Bricks' cell phone would be "busy" and I couldn't tell him anything. I wonder how long it would take him to realize I had kicked the bucket? An hour, a day, a week...longer?
• Go to a nursing home and give an impromptu concert to the residence. I just adore older people.
• Listen to my favorites songs on my iPod
• Go outside and smell the fresh cut grass and fresh flowers. Note to self: Stay away from Poison oak. I don't want to be standing at the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter and be all scratchy and itchy.
• Play with my four dogs and tell them how much I love them
• Make sure curling iron, coffee maker and iron are all unplugged
• Go to Kohl's one last time (Hey I gotta use up all of my Kohl's Cash)
• Get a soft serve vanilla and chocolate swirl frozen yogurt with chocolate sprinkles
• Call the Make-A-Wish foundation and ask for 60 more minutes (repeat as needed)

So what would you do?

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Hell In A Handbasket

Is Lady Gaga going to Hell in a handbasket?

Sometimes it just seems like everyone else in the music industry has just thrown the towel in and the industry as we once knew it is going to Hell in a handbasket. Going to Hell in a handbasket is what my Mom use to say when something or a situation was quickly taking a turn for the worse without effort or with great haste.

What brings up this old saying?  Two words: Lady Gaga

I knew I was going to have plenty of WTH moments watching the Grammy's last night and I was not disappointed thanks to many of the artists, but especially to Lady Gaga.

According to Reuters, "prior to the Grammy's telecast Lady Gaga declared in a Twitter message that she was "in incubation" for her live appearance. Aides said she had spent three hours crouched inside the egg with an oxygen mask ahead of her arrival."

photo courtesy of ABC News

Hatching from an egg was the latest in a series of stunts by the performance artist and singer. In September, Lady Gaga wore a headline-grabbing dress made entirely of raw meat that she wore to the MTV Music Video Awards. The arriving in an egg was another guarantee  that everyone will be talking about her for the next several weeks. Remember how outrageous people use to say Michael Jackson was? His nickname use to be Wacko-Jacko, but he never hatched onstage - just sayin'

However, onstage for the Grammy's on Sunday, Lady Gaga crawled out of an egg dressed in yellow and sporting what appeared to be pointed shoulder implants? WTH was that all about?

Away from the Grammy ceremony in Los Angeles, the singer made headlines by saying in a pre-recorded TV interview that she uses marijuana and whiskey to help write her songs. "(I) drink a lot of whiskey and I smoke weed when I write. And I don't do it a lot because it's not good for my voice," the singer told TV news show "60 Minutes". "I don't want to encourage kids to do drugs....And I don't lie. I'm not a liar. I built good will with my fans. They know who I am. And I'm just like them in so many ways," she added.

I am just curious if it was the whiskey or the weed that made her think coming out of an egg was a good idea. Since I don't drink or do drugs I can't even imagine how screwed up her coconut is after indulging in those substances.  If Mr. Bricks ever asks me to make an appearance on national television by coming out of an egg I'd have to kick his butt and knock his noggin off.

Also I'm curious if when I do my interview with "60 Minutes"  I will make headlines by saying that I use Vitamin Water and Zone Bars to help me write songs?  Or if I will make headlines by not hatching out of an egg, but instead just walking onstage to sing at the Grammy's just wearing a t-shirt, vest jeans and my sneakers.

Blessings,

Ava

xox