That Snot Funny

No, there was no typo in the title of my blog today.  The subject is snot and isn't funny! I'm sick, I'm grumpy and I just want to go back to sleep.

I am now at home sick in bed, with all of the covers pulled up over my Greek little head, I'm sneezing and hacking a lung (or two)... thank goodness my doggies are all nestled in the bed around me because I most likely have caught the bird flu or a rare strain of the bubonic plague. My nose is so red from blowing my nose I look like Rudolph! I got this way after spending much of yesterday surrounded by snot nosed kids and adults who all sounded like they had a bad case of whooping-cough. When I say snot nosed kids I don't mean kids who were misbehaving, I literally mean kids with noses filled with snot and they were wheezing and sneezing like there was no tomorrow.

Part of the job description for me as a singer and actress means that sometimes I must make appearances where people want to get my autograph, shake my hand or stand real close and get their picture taken with me.... All of that is very flattering and humbling to me! It really is. Yesterday was just such a day that I had to be around people all day and most of them seemed to be coughing, blowing their nose or both.

I had one lady come up to my face and say, "I woke up this morning so sick with the flu, but I just had to come here, when I get  home I will probably collapse in my bed!" No, lady when I got home - I was the one ready to fall down and die!! Thanks for sharing your germs!

Ok people, when you are sick you need to stay home - just sayin'

I could go on and on, but I'd rather go back to sleep.

Blessings & hot tea,

Ava

xox

Howloween has gone to the dogs!

NOTE:  This blog has been hacked by Punkin

Do I have the words "stupid dog" stamped on my forehead?...wait a minute, do I even have a forehead???

Psssssssst, its me Punkin, and the rest of the Aston canine clan -- BoBo, Itty Bitty and Pookie. Hey, this is my third time in as many weeks to hack into my Doggie Mom Ava's Mac Book Pro and hijack her blog.  Her original password was my name  "Punkin."   That was only natural because I am her favorite and #1 dog. So, the next day after she read my blog she cleverly changed the password to "Pookie", you can read all about that episode right here.

Well  I'm no Mark Zuckerberg but it did not take a genius to figure out she was most likely gonna change the password again to another one of my canine siblings.  So with my little paws I typed in the letters  I-T-T-Y-B-I-T-T-Y and then I saw this logo thing appear on the screen

I don't know why Ava has a giant half-eaten apple  on her screen but for me,it's Mission Accomplished I hacked in again. So, I'm back and I just had to write you all out there in blogsphere  because, well  we're in dire straits here.  Guess what Ava did today? I will give you a clue, look at this picture

Do any of us look happy? No. We are not happy campers anymore. Look closely, I think she is trying to get her own designing show on HGTV or Bravo by putting these cheesy little gourds, Indian corn, pumpkins and squash things next to us. Is she taking our picture or getting ready to serve us for dinner??

Yah, were pissed alright.  I knew something was up when she said we all were going to Petco. We haven't done that in a couple of months since Pookie had that unfortunate incident with A  Lhasa Apso.  Anyway, Ava took us to Petco and bought us these costumes for Howloween.   Now, I use to love to go to there like any other dog.  At the store we all got free treats, we could get our picture taken, we could play with the toys and sniff the butts of other hot looking doggies who were there.  But now, well, I hate Petco.  They are evil. Most likely a Liberal style of company who profits off of  the humiliation of canines by selling Howloween costumes for dogs.  Hmmm, wonder if they ever heard the phrase, don't bite the hand that feeds you. Our Doggie Mommie always uses that one on us when she wants to make us feel guilty for not doing what she wants.

Next time I go to Petco I think I'm going to "have an accident" right at the front door. Although it won't be an accident, if you know what I'm sayin'.  Maybe it will make some people stop and not go in.  Anything to do my part for the species.

Ava  just didn't stop with buying us these costumes. She also sent our buddy, Sunny, who is Mr. Bricks' dog, a costume. Sunny just tweeted me this twitpic of him that Mr. Bricks took.  Embarassing.

Since I now have your undivided attention, I have further business I need to discuss with you.  This is important, so listen up.  I want to let you know that if you are a little kid and you are reading this, and you plan to come to my house to go trick-or-treating you are screwed.  Mom's already starting to dip into the trick-or-treat stash of candy.

Look what I saw in her hands today after she came back from a run.   

And then there is this photo piece of evidence

At this rate, by Sunday she will be fresh out of candy. Look for her to start handing out raisins or pennies then.

We all have had enough of the humiliation. We know if we stick around here, she will end up dressing us like Pilgrims for Thanksgiving.  So Sunny is going to run away from Mr. Bricks house and we all are running away from here. We're going to  meet up in Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Stay tuned....

Love,

Punkin

ruff ruff

My Doggie Mom has me in Lockdown and She Doesn't Care!

WARNING! - This Blog has been hacked by Punkin.

My name is Punkin. It's P-U-N-K-I-N, not Pumpkin or Pumpkins or some stupid name like that. It's Punkin, that rhymes with Dunkin, like where my Mommy gets her morning coffee, so get it straight. Well anyways, I am Ava's #1 dog. I can be #1 because she doesn't have any real two-legged children that cry and scream, so its just us four-legged dogs vying for her attention. In this photo I didn't want to come out from under the covers, well,  because I'm afraid.

My Doggie Mom must think I'm stupid and can't read or hear. Because last night I heard her saying she was going to be driving to New Jersey today. What that meant was she was going to abandon me and lock me and the other three canines in the Clink today. We would be left alone to study abandonology. That's abandonology, not abandonality. Abandonology is the study of being abandonded, where as abandonality is the state of being abdondoned. I just wanted to be sure you understand the seriousness of what's going on here in the Pearl River Clink.

Ok, so then get this load of bull.... after saying she was going to be gone tomorrow, (as if I am deaf and  blind) she picks me up and wants to kiss on me? What the heck? I don't roll like that. I think she might be schitzo (sorry to my mentally ill friends) I just don't know of another way of saying it. In one breath I hear my fate for the next day will be in the Clink and then she expects me to treat her like she is the Mother of the Year....yah right, maybe more like Mommie Dearest of the Year. Hey Pookie, hide those wire hangers from her.

While she is gone today I decided to hack into her Mac Probook and write this blog. I have a lot of stuff I need to get off my chest. Oh, by the way, it was super easy to hack into Mom's computer because she used my name as the password....you humans, really. Anyways, I have also been reading her Facebook wall and herTwitter page and boy does she have you all fooled! She is not as great of person as I have read in your comments. Yah, ok just because she feeds me and the rest of the pack organic expensive kibble, has our teeth cleaned every six months, makes us fancy personalized dog collars doesn't mean I should kiss her butt or tell her over and over how great she is... reading all the nice comments about her on the various social networking sites makes me want to vomit all over the couch. So I just did. You try living with her. It's no picnic.

Almost every day she gets up at the butt crack of dawn to go running. I'm loving it...I like a good 5 mile run like the next Pekingese does....but does she take me running? No...she says that's "her alone" time, What does she think I will do, be a Chatty Cathy and talk the entire run? I'm a dog..I can't talk, hello??? McFly, is anyone home?

I have also read some of the comments where you say something like, "Oh Ava looked so cute on stage last night" or "you're such a pretty girl Ava"...pullllleeeesssseeee, spare me. Want to really know how this sausage is made? I'll tell you. For every one outfit she wears on stage or in public, she spent at least 3 hours and has tried on 47 other ones that were just perfect, until she walked out the door and then she changed her mind and decided she wanted to wear something else. I must admit though, she does kinda have it going on for a rocker chick. But then again, that is also part of the problem. I wished she would quit singing around the house and in the car!!!! We get it. You are a singer. That is what you do. But you don't need to "practice your craft" as you call it, 24/7. Enough already. Do you think a plumber goes around fixing the pipes in the house all day long? No. Does a dentist follow his children around with a drill? No. I love my mom, but sometimes she really just doesn't get it.

Today I finally had a chance to see some of her videos on YouTube. Would all of you just start clicking on the videos so they go viral already....Especially that funny video with that cute, smart Pekingese. Oh wait. I just happen to have a link. Here it is:  Cute Pekingese Video. Wow, that is really a great video. I expect it to win some awards.

I must admit, for as much of a pain she is, she can be an OK Doggie Mom...just doen't tell her I said that, OK? I don't want her to think her little Pekingese Princess has gone all soft on her.

Well, I should log off now. Oh, before I go....why don't all of you tell my Mommy how much more exciting today's blog was than the boring crap she writes.  Oops, did I just say that out loud?

Blessings

Punkin

Woof Woof