THE LATE, LAMENTED GEORGE WHIPPLE

For all of the joy he brought us in 500 Charmin TV commercials, the life of George Whipple was not a happy one. His life as a supermarket manager brought him nothing but frustrations as the clientele never stopped squeezing the Charmin whenever they could.

Mr. Whipple nearly lost his finger when a parrot he hired to squawk "Please don't squeeze the Charmin!" ended up biting him right down to the bone. And yet the women kept squeezing the fluffier tissue.

I think George Whipple drank, and copiously. But he was a professional. He never drank on the job. No, for him it was always in some anonymous bar on the way home from work, somewhere near Westport, Connecticut. During those times when he had to travel for the job, either to Los Angeles, or even to Big Town, Mr. Whipple would never start imbibing until his job was over and he could relax on his own time.

GEORGE WHIPPLE
[as seen in 'Bewitched', 'The Paul Lynde Show', & 'Captain Nice']

To top it off, it's possible George was the older brother of Wallace Whipple, who would be considered the most successful in the family, what with his fully automated factory. And yet it would be Wallace who would wind up a prisoner to his own computerized success.

Even so, George saw himself as a failure. In his bitterness, he may have even acted oddly towards a team of mathematical investigators while they were on a case.

It could have been claimed that George Whipple would survive in Toobworld long beyond the death of his portrayer Dick Wilson, who passed away on Monday. However, there can never be anybody who could take his place in the real world or in Toobworld. And so we must assume that George Whipple has passed away as well.

Rest in peace, Mr. Whipple.

SHOWS CITED:
Charmin commercials
'Bewitched'
'The Paul Lynde Show'
'Captain Nice'
'Mathnet'
'Square One TV'
'The Twilight Zone' - "The Brain Center At Whipple's"

BCnU....
Toby OB