I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty..

..you know, "duty" like in taxes or tariffs?

Man, stand-up just doesn't work if you gotta explain the jokes! Corollary: don't quit your day job, War Planner.

Anyway, remember that liberal ass-hat? Well, it seems he's not a fan of taxes either, docking his expensive yacht in Rhode Island instead of his beloved Massachusetts so he can save boat sales and use taxes that state imposes:

Sen. John Kerry, who has repeatedly voted to raise taxes while in Congress, dodged a whopping six-figure state tax bill on his new multimillion-dollar yacht by mooring her in Newport, R.I.

Isabel - Kerry’s luxe, 76-foot New Zealand-built Friendship sloop with an Edwardian-style, glossy varnished teak interior, two VIP main cabins and a pilothouse fitted with a wet bar and cold wine storage - was designed by Rhode Island boat designer Ted Fontaine.

But instead of berthing the vessel in Nantucket, where the senator summers with the missus, Teresa Heinz, Isabel’s hailing port is listed as “Newport” on her stern.

Could the reason be that the Ocean State repealed its Boat Sales and Use Tax back in 1993, making the tiny state to the south a haven - like the Cayman Islands, Bermuda and Nassau - for tax-skirting luxury yacht owners?

Cash-strapped Massachusetts still collects a 6.25 percent sales tax and an annual excise tax on yachts. Sources say Isabel sold for something in the neighborhood of $7 million, meaning Kerry saved approximately $437,500 in sales tax and an annual excise tax of about $70,000.

The picture? Well, you younger visitors probably don't remember Kerry's ill-fated campaign back in 2004. The poor bastard could not get a break as conservative bloggers were on him like white on rice and documented ripped him a new one on every misstep that idiot made.

This pic came from a NASA tour he took where he had to don a clean suit and crawl down a tunnel. I think -- hope and pray, actually -- that the bunny ears are photo-shopped on. But, man, was that a hoot when it ran; he was a bleeding and broken man after that.

Talk about a Dukakis moment.

CLUELESS FRIDAY-EVENING BUZZ-INFECTED UPDATE: No Sheeples has a cool variant on this item. (As if you'll ever see this pathetic addendum! I think I'll just go back to perfecting my Foster Brooks impersonation.)

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