Friday, June 10, 2011

Errant RPG: Grindhouse Edition


I am pleased to announce that I have already begun the art buy for a Grindhouse edition of Errant RPG. I have told my artists to draw images so grotesque, so dark, so gruesome, so maniacal that the mere possession of such images may be grounds for incarceration in some countries. I told them that I want to see some obscene stuff. Babies with hacked off limbs, monkeys being tortured with electricity, women being defiled in ways that would make the most hardcore misoginst blush. I want to see people eating feces on the cover. I want to see things so profoundly foul that people will need to abstain from eating for 24 hours before viewing so that they don't spontaneously vomit.

I decided that having a free, simple, easy to teach, easy to play RPG system was not enough. Pairing old school style mechanics with more modern aesthetics like Druids and Bard was too bland. I just wasn't getting the kind of psychotic reaction from my readers that you see in Mazes and Monsters. I knew I had to push the envelope.

Get your barf bags ready folks. Prepare to be blown away.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I am going to make some system changes too. Elves are going to get +3 Spot instead of +2 and Dwarves will get +2 hit points per level instead of +1. These changes are really worth buying a completely new game. I promise.

Note: This post is a joke. I had been trying to keep it contained within my skull, but the day's events in other parts of the interwebs have made that impossible. Sorry. If you cannot take sarcastic humor or you don't understand what it is referencing, you should probably just go watch the Simpsons. Oh wait, nevermind. Uh.... go watch Southpark.... damn, nevermind that too. Uh... Family Guy? No.... okay...... uh..... maybe you can watch Powderpuff Girls? Yeah, stick with that. :)

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