A Guide to Choosing Which Blowoff Class to Take Next Year

For all of you juniors, sophomores, and freshmen, third quarter is ending, and forth quarter is beginning. This means signing up for new classes! You have all your necessary and super boring classes already set before you get the colorful paper with every course offered, but you need to fill just one more period, and you just don't know which one is blow-off-i-est.


Chorus and band shouldn't be chosen as blow offs. As fun as they may be, business is business.


P.E. would be a good choice, but you just can't kick back and relax when you desperately need to.


No core class spinoffs obviously. Those end up requiring work.


Art is the obvious choice. It's the only one left. But which one? There's so many. Well, general art is fun, but its just not specific enough. One day you're drawing, the next you're painting. You have to be good at everything! That's stressful. So, being more specific, you could take drawing. Drawing is more specific and the magnificent pictures hanging in the hallway make me wanna grab a pencil and jump in, but then I realize I'm a horrible drawer. And drawing bad pictures does not relax me.


So only one choice remains and that is ceramics. I took a leap of faith this year (actually i could only choose from two classes and ceramics was one of them and music history was the other). And what a leap it was! It's the most enjoyable class i've taken all year. Kick back, talk to friends, and keep your hands just busy enough that there's no need for sleep. The perfect class period. It's very difficult to make a bad fish. I tried. It turned out magnificent. Best fish I've ever seen beside Fudge's. But how can you beat a fish with a cowboy hat and a fu manchu. You can't. Ceramics also teaches you to be humble.


So when it comes to that extra class. Ceramics is the best.

The Picture of Dorian Gray Review

Lately we've been in novel bootcamp in AP English. 2 books in four weeks! My eyes hurt and I'm having surgery on my overused imagination soon. Mrs. Cross asked someone to write about The Picture of Dorian Gray because the sophomores are reading it, I think. Maybe they're done with it. I don't know. Either way, on to the review.

Hands down, The Picture of Dorian Gray was the best book of all the novels I've been forced to read in high school. It was made into a Great Illustrated Classic, so you know it's good, and that means it has nice pictures and big letters for the underclassmen! The book was suspenseful, actiony (new word: yes), and somewhat romantic (for the ladies). In my own intellectual world, I enjoyed the philosophies that drove the book. If that's not for you, then there's plenty of things to enjoy about the book.

It's short; it's super super sweet. Read it. Now. Seriously.

-Myles

Winter Olympics

Hey bloggers!



I guess I'm back to making fun of random things so I figured I'll make some fun of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver!



Vancouver....that's exciting, eh? Nothing says a riproarin' time like Canada. Let's see they have........ummm.....Niagra Falls. That's pretty sweet I guess. At least they kicked the games off pretty nicely, I hear. I wasn't fortunate enough to spend my precious time watching the opening ceremony.



A death did occur, as I'm sure everyone is aware of. A Georgian (country not state) lugeist, luger, lugian, something suffered a catastrophic high speed wreck. RIP Nodar Kumaritashvili. I'd like to know when the fun-filled family activity of sledding turned into a ninety mile per hour free-for-all! Picture yourself going ninety on the interstate in a convertible; now take the top down; now take the wheels and body off and put steel skates on the bottom of your seat, and recline back and enjoy the ride.....and the change of underwear you'll be having afterwards. I cannot even imagine what that's like.



The best sport in the world, curling, is currently underway. Scientific research should be done on viewers of this sport. Curiosity strikes the first time viewer. Is it shuffle board? Is it ice skating? Is it magic? ARE THOSE BROOMS? In fact, it's some combination of all these. It looks like a game you and your siblings make up when mom makes you all go outside for a couple hours. Rocks, check. Brooms, check. Dangerously slick ice, check! After the curiosity comes fascination. How could these men possibly slide the rock oh-so-delicately and then brush the ice in a flash of movement and vigor and allow the rock to come sliding o so gently into the center circle? I don't know. No one does. One highly accredited scientist says its magic after a study I, I mean he, performed five minutes ago.



So that's my take on the two craziest and invigorating sports in the Olympic Games!

Berklee College of Music Audition Follow up

Hey bloggers!


I figured I would just write a follow up to the two blogs I wrote about my trip to Chicago to audition for the Berklee College of Music for anyone who read them and would like to know.


After two looooong months of waiting and keeping my hopes down enough to keep the blood pressure down I received an email and letter of acceptance from Berklee! I'll be making a trip to Boston soon to visit the campus and get some much needed information. Thank you everyone for the help, guidance, and wishes!

Congratulations, Myles -- from all of us!

Ode to Science Club

O General Tso's,

Why do you taste so?

Tangy and sticky,

Never ever icky



Consumed in one piece,

All fat, all grease.

A cookie by side,

A fortune does hide.



To science we're never subject,

And noone can object.

Lunch just isn't right,

Without Tso's in sight.



P.S. This didn't take me long to write, and I'm dillusional from a night's worth of blog bingeing. But the poem, 'tis true.

Bride and Prejudice

Hey bloggers.


Stepping back from the criticizing, I'm going to analyze the movie Bride and Prejudice since we finished it today in AP English and no one else has done it!


For anyone who hasn't read Pride and Prejudice, it's not a bad read. I wouldn't recommend it to guys who need bathroom material, and I wouldn't recommend analyzing it if you don't have to because that's a fun sucker for sure.


So we watched a film adaptation of the novel over the past three classes. It was a Bollywood film. Bollywood is the Indian film industry based in Mumbai, India. They're know for song and dance numbers in their movies, and most are unbelievably long. This one was rather short, but did in fact have dancing and singing. Now as much as I really dislike random song and dance in moves, this was rather enjoyable. It followed the plot of Pride and Prejudice enough to be easily distinguishable. The acting was pretty good. And some of the chicks were extremely perty. Which makes watching movies like that a lot easier for guys.


All in all I give the movie two thumbs up! That may have been because it was a break from class. I didn't say that Mrs. Cross.

Spaghetti or Pizzaroni

Top o' the mornin' bloggers! (Irish accent)

I'm having writer's block on topics, but I think the spaghetti or pizzaroni issue is an issue that needs to be addressed and needs to be addressed now!

First off your not fooling anyone! Just because it says spaghetti or pizzaroni one Thursday and then two Thursdays later it says pizzaroni or spaghetti does NOT mean that it's a different meal. Don't get me wrong. The first 10 and a half years that I ate pizzaroni or spaghetti I loved it. It was fantastic. But this past year and a half has been a real struggle for me. It really is delicious and filling like once a month OR SO. But this every other Thursday rotation has gotten me down.

Now you're probably saying to yourself, "Well Myles, why don't you just go on down there and order yourself a nice 'zza or some James Johns?" (The person saying this doesn't believe in nicknames plus Jimmy isn't even shorter than James) But I say to you, "Nay!" And there are two reasons for this. 1) I don't have money. 2)I'm too lazy to march on down to the office and write my name on a piece of paper.

Now you're probably saying, "But Myles, why don't you just take what you get gratefully since you're lazy and good-for-nothing." And to this I say, "Watch the insults. And I do. Very gratefully. I just like to rant and rave about stuff."

So keep on doin' what your doin' cooks, because its delicious. Just don't insult us with the pizzaroni/spaghetti /pizzaroni thing. Most of us can catch it.

P.S. I love hot dog bun garlic bread and I always will.

Berklee Audition part 2

Continuing on my unnecessarily long description of my trip to Chicago, we woke up on the day of the audition and went down to eat a continental breakfast. After taking Kathleen's advice, which was advised by Caroline I guess, I forced down a banana. I hate bananas. The texture creeps me out. I knew it might be a pretty good day when I was able to enjoy my breakfast to the song Mr. Heat Miser, a ridiculous and annoying Christmas carol.


We packed up our stuff, checked out, and headed to the Chicago Academy of the Arts. We got there about an hour before my warm up time, and I was extremely nervous. The banana hadn't kicked in I guess. Walking into the lobby area, I was greeted by two very friendly and extremely talkative, loud girls that were checking people in. I proceeded to sit in a chair trying to warm my hands, stop them from shaking, and dodge small talk from the check in girls. I'm not a multitasker.




The girl brought me to the warm-up room when it was time and gave me the sheet music that I was going to read in the audition. Since I had only been reading on guitar for two months, I ripped open my case and began studying the pieces like there was a magic word behind them that, if said, would get you into Berklee automatically.........I didn't find it. The first line was easy and the second wasn't bad. The third was tough so I studied it more and figured it out a little, and I took one look at the forth and said pass. After a very short fifteen minutes, the girl got me and brought me to a seat outside the audition room. Here I was forced to warm up to the sounds of the kid who was wearing baggy jeans, a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt, and Chuck Taylor's. I insult his attire because he made me feel like I just picked up the guitar yesterday. I wasn't so confident anymore.





The kid was done and a middle aged lady opened the door and told me she'd be with me in a minute. By this time I was really no longer nervous. Somehow I had calmed down. Maybe it was the banana. So I walked in, and the lady was unbelievably friendly. It wasn't like I had expected it. It was like having a conversation and not an audition. Although there was a very quite man on writing on a laptop and in the back, and that was a little intimidating. So after conversing about my history with guitar, I performed my piece, "Song for George" by Eric Johnson. Having played it flawlessly twenty or thirty times, every wrong note was like a punch in the face. I only made two or three though so I was still standing. The tone of my guitar wasn't as satisfactory as I would've liked due to the unfamiliar amp, but that's expected. The lady then asked me to sight read, and I'd give myself a five out of ten on that, but again that was expected. I then did some call and response exercises with her which I believe I aced, and then I improvised on some blues, which I felt satisfied with.




All of a sudden the interview was over and I was in the lobby again waiting for my interview. After fifteen minutes of waiting, I was called in by an young man with an Irish accent. I wish I had an Irish accent. It was awesome. I at least wish I could say "Good man" after people give me awesome answers to questions. The interview went better than I could have expected and I walked out of the school about two and a half hours later with a small strand of confidence.




Thank you to everyone who helped me and wished me luck and were concerned!!!!!!! It really helped!!!

My Berklee Audition part 1

I've decided to stray from my usual article topics in a desperate dash at some bonus points. So, as weird as it is, I'll blog about my audition in Chicago on Saturday the 12th of December.

I left Friday for Chicago right after school. We stopped in a suburb to visit my two stepbrothers who live together at med school. We had a dinner at a restaurant that had me feeling like I was in the twilight zone. When we walked in the guy asked us how many people we had, but then we had to wait in line and order at a cash register. So it was like steak and shake, but fast-foody-er. Ya that's a word. Then there was a bar where they served fancy wines and malted beverages, but I received a cup in which I proceeded to the soft drink machine to fill up with some soda. The food was then brought to our table in less than one minute. Very strange.

We then went to the hotel in downtown Chicago after finding the school and admiring the Christmas lights adorning the overwhelming city. The hotel was also very strange because there were three or four hotels, all on the same city block, all connected, all surrounding a very small and confusing parking garage. After walking around half of the block with two guitars, a small amp, a bag of guitar pedals and cables, and a clothes bag, we got in our hotel and went up in the elevator where my mom accidentally hit the emergency button and we listened to a guy repeat, "elevator two help, elevator two help" all the way up. Then we entered the room and the fire alarm beeps. We all then proceed to cuss, and once relaxed, call the front desk to send up a battery. A Hispanic gentleman struggled for a while, and after getting help from another Hispanic gentleman they finally replaced the battery. The two men left the room, and my mom and I leaned in and at the exact same time said, "Everyone's thinking it.....How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb.??" After a good laugh, I prepared for my audition and we retired to the clicking sound of wheels driving up and down the parking garage. (To be continued)...

Farmville

Hello bloggers!

Topic for today: FarmVille.

Now there's getting to be more of a cult following for FarmVille than there is the Twilight series. I have not come close to having the spare time to check my crops two or three times a day; therefore, I haven't even tried it yet. So I'm not gonna come out and say it's horrible without giving it a try, but I will comment on some things from an outsider's viewpoint.

To me, a person with zero time for this, it seems absolutely ridiculous. My motto for FarmVille is: If I have time to play with an imaginary farm, I have time to do something else. When I was six or seven, I loved roller coaster tycoon and stuff, and I realize that this is like a super hyped up networking version of that, but the time spent on it is unbelievable. Granted, there are many recreational players, but there are even more off the wall, psycho, can't go two hours without making sure they rotate the crops so the soil stays fertile people!

The worst part about it is having to hear people talk about how they just aren't getting enough points from there cranberry crops or they need more sunflower or how they forgot to pick their watermelons. It'd be less annoying if the crops were realistic at all. But if I have to hear someone beg another person to send them a chicken, I might freak out. I told them the story about when I got a chicken for a present when I was around six years old. It grew up super fast and jumped out of the box and ran amok in my garage. It was very inconvenient, and my father wasn't too happy with my aunt. Absolute true story.

So that's my view on FarmVille. Hopefully I won't become addicted when I get some time on my hands to play it. Or hopefully I do. We'll see.

Twitter

Hey bloggers!

I figured I'd try to stick with this article type deal for as long as I could keep thinking of good topics. I've got one today: Twitter.

Now I don't wanna sound like an old blue hair when I say I don't get it. But once again I don't get it. I guess I get the concept. Anyone can post, from a computer or their phone, what they are doing at that exact second, as long as it's under 140 characters. And that's fine with me. People do worse things with their time. The part I don't get is the crazy, insane cult following. As much as I would love to know when one of the Jo Bros are totally in line at the bank, I just can't get myself to get on the computer and find out.

On a little side note, the thing I hate about twitter the most is that people decided they get to use the word "tweet". Like if someone says I just got a tweet from David Hasselhoff. Not cool.

The part about twitter that I find most amusing is the fact that you can have the "tweets" sent directly to your phone. Now not only will you know when Hannah Montana is getting gas, but no matter where you are, you'll be the first person to know!!! And not only is your phone buzzing off the wall with random information from people you've never met, but everyone gets to see you use your phone too!!

Don't get me wrong. I could just be jealous that I don't have 500,000 people around the world wanting me to inform them exactly when I have to use the bathroom. That may very well be the case, but I'm not sure that's a world I wanna live in.

New Moon Analysis

Hey Bloggers!

So I've decided that an Andy Rooney-esque article would be a good addition to the blog. Hopefully it hasn't already been done. And for those of you who don't know who Andy Rooney is, he's the old fart on the discontinued show 60 Minutes. I realize that doesn't really narrow it down. He would take unfunny aspects in every day life and put a funny twist on the weird things people do every day, kinda like a "What's the deal with airline food?" thing.

As much as I don't wanna get mauled by every girl in school, I've decided to choose the second addition to the "Twilight Saga: New Moon."

I would like to start by saying.....I don't get it. What makes girls go crazy about vampires and werewolves? I get that Edward's super hunky. But there's not a girl in this world that would make me bring my homework, lunch, supper, sleeping bags, pajamas, extra underwear, and a survival kit to go to the midnight showing of a movie. Am I missing out on what it means to be the person with the best seat so everyone can hear her scream when the vampires and werewolves come on the screen? Probably not.

That brings me to my next point. Now I understand that the Beatles could make a girl faint or throw their undergarments on stage. It's a girl thing. So we'll give you the screaming. But since when have girls been this obsessed with science fiction creatures?? I was told Jacob first appeared wearing a pair of finely ripped jorts (jean shorts). Now I realize they probably revealed his fantastically werewolf hairy knees, but it's just not fair! There is no way I could wear jorts like that and immediately have girls scream at me and throw their britches at me. It's not how real life works!

Once again, I hear they're super hunky, but have you ever been on a date with a werewolf!? Let me paint you a picture. Jacob picks you up in his super, totally hot sports car. The two of you stare intently at each other at the booth of the local T.G.I. Fridays. The waitress comes up and asks what the two of you would like for dinner. Jacob says, "We'll split a bottle of your finest wine. She'll have the bruschetta chicken pasta, and I'll have a Ribeye....rare." Mmmmm how romantic. As the two of you are deep in conversation, a little drop of blood dribbles down his strong jaw. You wipe it off your napkin. It's love at first sight. The date continues with a stroll through the park. I don't think people do that anymore, but it doesn't matter. You're so lost in his eyes that you don't realize what's happening around you. Something causes you to both stop. You stare in his eyes. He stares in yours. The world is spinning. Clouds part over head revealing the most magnificent full moon. He turns into a hairy beast and devours you whole.

That is what would happen ladies! It's a scientific fact. Now I realize I have most likely just angered every girl age 10-45, but it had to be done. It's not real life. There not that hunky. And if it were real life and you all had your dream date with Edward or Jacob, you'd all be dead!! So....ladies....just remember, I don't turn into a carnivorous beast or try to suck blood when it gets dark.