How To Break Up With A Snowman

Mr. Snowman in Happier Times

Dear Mr. Snowman:

You were kinda cute when I first met you way back in November. In the beginning I liked you because you were a cool guy. Normally you do not come to New York City and visit me that early in the year, but after a long hot summer, I was really happy to see you again!

As always, you have a knack at making Christmas seem more like Christmas when you are hanging around during the month of December. I hope you liked the new red scarf. I knitted it myself for you. And I love how you joked with me about taking your eyes and putting them into my stocking for being a bad Greek Girl this year. You really know how to make me laugh Mr. Snowman. You we're kidding weren't you?

I was happy to have you spend New Year's Eve with me. It's always nice to welcome in the New Year with an old friend like you. I just wished we did not have to spend the entire night out side. I froze my noggin off. I do not understand why you did not want to come inside and enjoy the warm crackling fire I had built!

Normally you leave and come back a couple of times throughout January. However, this year you felt the need to stick around - every frikin day!!  Things changed during January between you and me. You turned very cold on me so I tried to break it off with you several times. But each morning I would open my blinds and there you were. Are you stalking me Mr. Snowman? I thought you would get the hint and leave when you would see Mr. Sunshine visit my house. I would even lace up my sneakers and go for a quick run with him. But no. When I came back from that refreshing brisk January run with Mr. Sunshine, to my surprise, you were still there.

As we wind down the month of February I honestly can say I am so over you Mr. Snowman. My love for you faded weeks ago. I can no longer even stand to look at you. What did I ever see in you? You need a nose job Mr. Snowman, that carrot looks stupid it has rotted and turned green. Over the past month your right eye has shifted. You now look like my manager Mr. Bricks with one lazy eye. I despise you Mr. Snowman.

In case you did not get the memo Mr. Snowman I am now in love with Mr. Sunshine. He is hot, you are not - just sayin'  I really want you out of my life! I hate you right now. I wish you would die Mr. Snowman.

All my love,

Ava

xox

Watch Your Back Mr. Groundhog

Bill Murray in "Ground Hog Day"

I am sick of winter. It started snowing yesterday at about 8:00AM and it never stopped. I've been a Miss Greek Grumpy Pants since then because I am so over winter this year. And it's only late January.

"I do not like it when it snows. I do not like my frozen toes. I do not like when cold wind blows, I do not like that my house pipes froze." Ava Aston - Winter 2011

That white crap outside that is falling from the sky put a big damper on all of the things I had planned:

• I can not just hop in my car and get a cup of Dunkin Donuts Coffee
• I can not go for a nice 5  mile run with my iPod and sneakers
• I can not go shopping at the outlets at the Woodbury Commons
• I can not spend the Kohls' cash that is burning a hole in my pocket
• I can not just let my dogs just outside to pee

I would love to be somewhere tropical right now. Somewhere with 85º where I can be in shorts, flips flops and a t-shirt. But no, I'm rolling in New York looking like a wooly mammoth all bundled up in a hat, scarf, my fluffy blanket coat and mittens. That is so messed up. Here are 5 things I can think of that you can do in this weather:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

That's right nothing. Nadda, zip, zero!

Greek Girl Trivia: The first official Groundhog Day was celebrated on February 2, 1886 in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Mr. Bricks say it was a very festive celebration, but he doesn't remember a whole lot since he was just a kid way back then.

I'm hoping that next Monday February 2nd Punxsutawney Phil doesn't see his nappy ass shadow, because if he does, I'll be the Blonde Greek Girl who will hunt down the fat little rodent with my daddy's rifle - he will be in my crosshairs - just sayin'

Blessings,

Ava

xox