Addicted to Addiction

Amy Winehouse 1983-2011

So I was eating lunch today and a friend who was with me ever so overly chipper says (in almost a celebratory tone), "So did you hear Amy Winehouse joined the 27 club?" I'm like "joined what, 27 what? How could she join a club, I thought she died?"... My friend looks at me as if I were dumb as a bag of rocks, then she replies "Yes she is and she also joined the 27 club, I'm surprised you of all people don't know what that is".  Then miss book of information proceeded to tell me what the 27 club was.  As dumbfounded as I was, I just had to come home and look it up for myself to see it in black and white.  Because honestly it just didn't make sense to me that anyone in their right mind would make up such a thing.  Warning Warning, this is when my filter was removed.

According to wikipedia "the 27 Club" consists of notable rock musicians who have all passed away in their 27th year.  In particular Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison & Kurt Cobain.  All of whom have some sort of controversy surrounding their deaths, all except Joplin that is... The "27 club" or the "Forever 27 club" also consists of other musicians who also died at age 27... (I for one want to live to be at least 107) and Amy Winehouse is the latest artist in this tragic string of coincidences...  Coincidence?  I think not.  Now don't go getting your pantaloons all in a bind.  But really, honestly what human being on the face of the planet living in a civilized nation mind you - does not at one time or another in his or her lifetime get the memo that as Mr. Mackey from my favorite show Southpark would say "Drugs are bad... mmkay".

Those of you who have been reading my blog a while know by now that I think our body is a miracle.  A miracle you should not abuse, period.  Of course I can understand that people have problems, no one unless you are Beaver Cleaver has had or ever will have a perfect childhood or life.  However turning to drugs is simply not the answer.  How could anyone with even a smidge of a brain cell in his or her noggin take drugs?  You know they are addictive, you know it is for sure going to cause a whole lot of muckery for you and for everyone around you, so WHY? Why - I ask?

Honestly can you imagine what music we missed because artists like the above mentioned tragically left this world so young? Personally I think it is very sad.  Sad that so many misguided people think it is OK to abuse and promote the fact that they take drugs.  I mean Lady Gaga stated in an interview that she smokes pot in order to help her be creative when writing songs?... Really? .... Really, come on, if you have to smoke a doobie to write a good song, then guess what, maybe you are not such a good songwriter afterall, and maybe you should possibly pay a good songwriter to do that for you.  So you don't:

A. give the impression to about a zillion of your fans that you think doing drugs is ok..

B. to be able to stay alive and continue living your dream of being an artist.

As for me....  I am happy to say that all I'm addicted to is coffee, and endorphins (God's medicine).  Yes that may sound all goodie two shoes and all but that's just how I roll. No matter what happens to you ever, there is no reason to turn to drugs, period.  Life is just not that bad no matter who you are or where you come from or what has happened to you.  Life is a gift, you should be treasuring & cherishing it.  Drugs are not the answer.  If you are naive enough to think it won't happen to you, think again.  Maybe go to wikipedia and take along hard look at the list of gifted musicians who left this world far too soon.  No one is immune to the danger they posses.  Moments like todays lunch just reinforce for me the importance of what kind of an impact I make on people not only with my music, but in how I live my life.

All I have to say is that is is a sincere shame that Amy Winehouse & the rest of the 27 club left this world so soon and that they were not able to make the music that we all wish we would have heard.

Blessings, Love & Music ~
Ava :D

www.avaaston.com

I Bet You Are Addicted to Facebook

A recent new Scottish study reveals that Facebook addiction is being compared to a gambling addiction. I find this odd only because I do not think I have ever encountered someone wearing a kilt on Facebook.

The Scottish study is in contrast to a recent study on ABC News that reported that there are no real scientific studies that have been done on Facebook Addiction. However, Dr. James Mol, a psychologist for Providence Behavioral Health said millions of Americans do have some sort of Internet addiction. It appears that a great many noggin doctors have been saying that many of their patients have admitted they have a problem in their coconut with their own inability to step away from the computer.

Social Networking is a fairly new phenomenon and there are currently no universally accepted rules to diagnose an addiction to a social networking site like Facebook. Luckily, this is where the Greek Blonde Girl comes in and saves the day.  As the newly self-appointed Czar of Facebook Addiction I've decided to list a few common, but yet unusual traits to keep in mind if you think you/your friends/lovers/BFF/boss/co-workers/or newly made Facebook friends might have a social networking disease.

1. You are doing your 2011 taxes and spend all day trying to find the proper online form to deduct your Farmville crop loses on Turbo Tax.
2. You spend more of your paycheck buying Facebook cash to play Facebook games than you do buying sneakers in the real world.  That's just wrong.
3. You update your Facebook wall on your cell phone while you are on a public toilet. You are so engrossed in updating your status that you forget to turn off the location feature. No one wants to know that you are in the ladies room at Kohl's updating your status and doing your business at the same time.
4. You list your high score on Bejewled Blitz as a skill on your resume.
5. You search on Facebook for my manager Mr. Bricks' profile so you can add him as a friend and check out the photos of his lazy eye. trust me, it's not a pretty sight.
6. You realize maybe it was a big mistake to try to do some of the same things you do playing Mafia Wars to help you try to get a better table at a restaurant.
7. You know what it means to "pimp your profile."
8. You added a person from your past as a "friend" but really it was to keep an eye on them. Hello people. That's called stalking and there are laws against that!
9. You've seen the movie The Social Network more than once.
10. You look at your Facebook news feed before your morning coffee and you look at Facebook news feed after your evening Vodka.

So, as more and more people become Facebook members this problem is not going away, its only getting worse. So it looks like my job of the Czar of Facebook Addiction  is secure for many years to come.

It should also be noted that Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook or the Winklevoss Twins have not yet commented on the new study.

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Blessings,

Ava

xox

Eating Pancakes With Charlie Sheen

Today is International Pancake Day and Charlie Sheen needs a good Greek slap down. So as I partake in a morning pancake breakfast to celebrate this international holiday allow me to also have an imaginary conversation with Hollywood's newest bad guy Charlie Sheen.

Ava Aston (AA):  Hey Mr.  Sheen, thanks for meeting me for breakfast.

Charlie Sheen (CS):  (googling the Greek Girl) Hubba Hubba, my publicist never told me that there would be other things just as hot as the hot cakes on the menu.

AA: (blushing)  Well geez thank you Mr. Sheen.

CS: (still googling the Greek Girl) Mr. Sheen? Mr. Sheen is my dad. You can just call me Charlie...um, you will call me won't you? I like girls. I mean I really, really like girls. You can look it up on Wikipedia. It will tell you I love girls.

AA: (feeling  uncomfortable) Well, yah, they kinda mentioned that about you on TMZ, but sorry Chuckie, I'm kinda taken.

CS: (still googling the Greek Girl)  Bring 'em along...I've been known to like the extra company wink, wink.

AA: Yah, right  (changing subjects) Mr. Sheen, umm, Charlie...what's up with all of the heavy drug use?

CS: (still googling the Greek Girl) The last time I took drugs? I probably took more than anybody could survive. I was banging 7 gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear. (motions to waitress to bring more coffee, also now google eyeing the waitress)

AA: (disturbed) That's not good. You sure seem kinda hopped up right now. I mean, are you ok?

CS: (still googling the Greek Girl) I'm not normal and Ava that's one thing they've never gotten their noggin around ... If people want me to succeed they should find the most comfortable chair in their frickin' house and sit in it and just, you know, lean back, open a beer and watch the show because it's about to get really gnarly.

AA: I really don't know what you just said Charlie. But, so it is true that you want a big fat raise to go back to your TV show? You were already making Oprah Winfrey money at a reported $2 million bucks an episode. (giggles) I saw that on Inside Edition. So what will it really take if CBS comes crawling back to you for more episodes of "Two and Half Men?"

CS:  (drastic mood change, eyes glossing over)  At this point because of psychological distress, it's $3 million an episode. - CBS can take it or leave it.

AA: Wow, holy crap Charlie that's a lot of money. I wonder if my manager Mr. Bricks could get me that type of money for my record deal?? So do you know Mr. Bricks? Can you pass the syrup please?

CS: (Handing the syrup bottle to Ava) He's a clown. I would fire him. That contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated that earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists.

AA: Wow those are kind of harsh words Charlie. Although you are right, he was a clown. But the poor guy has one lazy eye and now you want to totally go Simon Cowell on him. (changing subjects) So what are you going to do about your job then?

CC: I've urged all my beautiful and loyal fans like you Ava who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong. (Once again googling the Greek Girl)  Ava, did I tell you how totally freakin hot your clavicles are?

AA: Thanks for the mention of my nice clavicles Charlie, and about being a loyal fan. Geez, I really don't know how to say this but, I've never seen a single episode of your show. I'd rather watch Hoarders. Hey, I'm kinda thinking maybe meeting you for pancakes was a big fat Greek mistake. I think maybe you should check out a rehab clinic instead of an IHOP. What do you think?

CS: Well, if you think you want to stick me in a bootleg cult with a 5 percent success rate, compared to my own "100 percent" success rate of getting clean by eating pancakes and drinking black coffee you are wrong Greek girl.  I know one of those rehab group's motto is, "'Don't be special. Be one of us." News flash: I am special and I will never be one of them. Good bye Ava. Oh, and before you forget you were going to give me your phone number.

AA: Good bye Charlie and no I wasn't.

CS: Fine then, let me at least pay for the pancakes. (reaching for wallet)

AA: Don't bother. They were free today because it is International Pancake day. Besides, you are now unemployed. Good Bye Charlie.

CS: Good Bye Ava.

Blessings,

Ava

xox