AND ZOMBIE RICKY SAYS, "WANNNT SPLAINNNNNS"

Grindl Werts is a devoted fan of the late Lucille Ball, and she thinks that two decades without Lucy on the Tube is quite enough, thank you.

"She gave us so much with 'I Love Lucy', 'The Lucy Show', 'Here's Lucy', and 'Life With Lucy'," says Ms. Werts. "She's been gone for nearly twenty years and look at the state of the world - never mind television! - since then!"

So Ms. Werts has decided to take matters into her own hands and bring back Lucy in a new sitcom, and she won't let a minor deterrent like Lucy being dead stand in her way.

"My family has been pioneers in the field of reanimating the dead back in the Balkans since the 1800s," explained Grindl Werts. "And with the help of a little CGI, hopefully it won't be too noticeable that the Queen of TV Comedy is a corpse."

The show is to be called "Lucy Without Life", and CBS has expressed interest in the project. [After all, it appeals to their major demographic.] With any luck, the corpse of Gale Gordon can be retrieved from the medical school to which it was donated, so that Lucy can once more work with her best foil.

BCnU!
Toby 0B