Thursday, October 1, 2009

Steaming Load of the Week


While out walking my dog, Alice, this morning I hit on a marvelous idea: an award I would confer to the stupidest event of the week. I am sure I don't have to describe where the inspiration came from, suffice to say I will be calling it the Steaming Load of the Week. The phrase comes from a line in a Drew Carey episode I saw some years ago wherein Mr Carey, upon hearing of a bad outcome of some pending event in his life, proclaimed, "Well, there's another steaming load of good news!"

(O.K., so I do explain things a bit too much. It comes from being married to a native Japanese wife and taking great pains to ensure that she understands my jokes.)

So, just a few rules. Firstly, there are no strict rules per se. Secondly, the award is not confined to Democrats, Obama, or the Left - although they are the prime targets of opportunity. But I shan't be afraid to skewer idiots on all sides of the political spectrum and, in fact, the world (or Universe) at large. I mean, why should God escape just because he decided to let the Delta Smelt or the Snail Darter go missing? And, finally, the substance of the award does not accrue to the person(s) or event(s) cited. That is, do not conflate the subject and a pile of warm canine fecal matter - unless it makes you happy to do so. I mean no disrespect to any person, just the act or circumstances that garnered them the award in the first place.


O.K., enough peroration. Now for the premier awardee(s)..envelope please..The POTUS and FLOTUS and Oprah for their noble efforts to secure the 2016 Olympics for the City of Chicago! This staggering effort was despite great personal sacrifice and at great taxpayer expense. It also was done with a mind-boggling sense of priorities by the Pantload-in-Chief who abandoned a country threatened by dire economic circumstances, raging unemployment, embroiled in foreign policy problems by both friend and foe alike.

Oh, and did I mention that not all of the folks in Shoulder Town are wild about the idea of having the Olympics inflicted on them in seven years?

But then again, what would one expect from a president with no serious credentials save for the equal-opportunity opportunities heaped upon him, consistently demonstrated unsound judgment, and non-stop campaigning that started the minute he hit his senate seat in 2006 and promises to continue through November 2012..

..and beyond, even if he doesn't gain a second term. I'm thinking of some Clinton-esque attempt to become Head Honcho of the U.N. or something like that. Although, to be fair, Bubba never threw his hat in the ring for that honor.

So there. I cannot think of a better set of recipients to kick off this skein.

By the way, I am open for suggestions for the subsequent weeks' awards if you have a mind to. I recommend by e-mail: voyskapvo@yahoo.com of course.

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