Showing posts with label Lindsay Lohan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lindsay Lohan. Show all posts

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Ava's Words of Wisdom




Here is this week's Saturday Cartoon about Ava the Diva and her manager Mr. Bricks.
I am so glad you all know that this "Ava the Diva" character is totally a fiction of my imagination. It's just some random character I created about a blonde, overbearing, Greek recording artist Diva named Ava who loves to boss her manager around. I have no idea where the idea came from.
So go ahead and grab a bowl of Cap' N Crunch before it is extinct and enjoy today's cartoon.
Blessings,
Ava
xox

Friday, March 4, 2011

Why I might end up on Dateline NBC





Happy Saturday Friends!
My manager Mr. Bricks is trying to grab the headlines away from Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan with what he reveals in todays cartoon. This is the animated video the whole internet is talking about. Watch it and find out what is Mr. Bricks' deep dark secret really is.
Blessings,
Ava
xox

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Predictions for 2011



Oh no....really?
Wrapping a white bath  towel around my blonde hair to give myself the best swami appearance.... Here are the Greek girl's predictions for 2011.
  1. Lindsay Lohan will be arrested for possession of drugs
  2. Lindsay Lohan will avoid jail time by crying and asking for rehab
  3. Lindsay Lohan will get released from rehab and make a mockery of the court system
  4. See number #1
  5. The state of California will declare bankruptcy
  6. The state of California will be purchased from the US bankruptcy court by a Mexican drug cartel
  7. 3 random celebrities will die within a short period of time of each other
  8. I will get a record deal ( right Mr. Bricks?)
  9. CBS will change the meaning of their corporate name to (CBS) Complete Bull Shit
  10. NBC and ABC will follow suit with their name changes to (NBC)  Never Been Correct and (ABC) Always Bull Crap
  11. My blog will not win a Pulitzer Prize
  12. Sneakers will become all of the rage at NY's Fashion Week
  13. McDonald's will introduce the "Double McRib" - 2 fake processed pork patties in BBQ sauce with pickles and onions on a toasted bun. My manager Mr. Bricks will be their first customer
  14. I will get to 25,000 "likes" on my Facebook Fan Page
  15. My dog Punkin will hijack my blog again
  16. TSA will get a smack down after a pat down with the Hell's Angels
  17. John Walsh and America's Most Wanted will announce they found Osama Bin Laden. Amazingly, he was living in Washington DC and had a job with an eight figures a year salary in the Obama Administration as an advisor on Muslim tolerance in America
  18. General Mills will rescind their Don't Ask Don't Tell policy about their cereal mascots much to the liking of the Lucky Charms dude and the Trix rabbit
  19. The ESPN executive who approved a tv special about the paper, rock, scissors national championships will be promoted to Head of Programming at MTV
  20. With the success of Michael Jackson's latest CD, Madonna will have herself declared legally dead to help boost her lackluster sales
  21. The Biggest Loser TV show will be cancelled because Michelle Obama solved the nation's obesity problem by making the sales of Girl Scout thin mint cookies illegal
  22. The surprise reveal on Oprah's final show will be that she isn't retiring. Oprah will also shock her audience by announcing that she will pay off the home mortgages for everyone in the country
  23. A sex tape will be leaked starring Miley Cyrus. The title of the video will be "Hannah Banana Fe Fi Fo Montana"
  24. All 12,200 Burger King outlets in 73 countries will be permanently closed by the FDA because they serve beef and it offended one Muslim woman in Boise, Idaho. A similar claim against Wendy's will be dismissed when the FDA determines that Wendy's doesn't use real meat in their products
  25. My blogs throughout 2011 will continue to be filled with useless trivia, accounts of my day-to-day muckery, jabs at my manager Mr. Bricks and yes some typos from time to time. Would you want it any other way?
These are just my predictions -- I might not get them all right, but I feel really strong about most of them! Hopefully you enjoyed my light-hearted blog today and it was my sincerest desire that I made you smile on this Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
Blessings,
Ava
xox
Two days left to get a great deal on my CD's. Click on the banner ad to check it out.


Monday, December 13, 2010

To Dream The Possible Dream

Have you ever had to step out of the comfort zone of your simple life and had to do different things for a while? I have. I decided a long time ago that it's how you handle learning new things that will ultimately determine if you are successful in life or not.
I look at so many teen celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie my heart truly goes out to them. They have no grasp of reality. One of the very first American reality TV series was a Simple Life starring Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. The premise was to take two socialites and put them in situations that were foreign to them and let the cameras roll as they tried to learn new things that were outside of their comfort zone.
With so many people losing their jobs it appears that there will be a whole lot of people learning new things they never thought they would need to know. Sadly, some older people who have seen vast retirement funds and fortunes wiped out in a single bad stock market day or by a crooked investment scam have also started to learn things they never thought the would need to know.
Most reality shows are based on the premise of exploiting people outside of their comfort zone and then showing how they react. When I get a chance to watch TV on Sunday nights, one reality series I really like to watch is Undercover Boss on CBS. It is fun to watch the CEO's try to learn new things about their very own company. yah, I sometimes think the show is as real as Pro Wrestling is real (wink, wink) but it still is a touching show watching others outside of their area of expertise struggle to learn new things.
I often wonder if I was ever on one of those reality series how would I stand up to the pressure?  Although that hasn't happened, I can say that it's always been amazing to me that when I have ventured out and done something I am not completely comfortable with I actually did better than I thought I would do.
Yes, the Greek girl surprises herself sometimes. It must be the competitive nature in me that rises to the top of my noggin and allows me to be on my "A" game. Lord knows in this business sometimes I may not want to do a certain task, make a phone call or go to a certain place -- but when I do, I always try to do my best. It's just what my parents always taught me to do.
I am in awe of those people who embrace trying new things and actually get a rush from it. My brain was wired differently, or maybe I just have a loose wire somewhere - not sure which is the truth, loose wire or wired differently. But for my entire life I have concentrated on one thing. I have pursued one thing. I dream about one thing. My happiest times are spent doing one thing.  And that one thing is my music career.
It's no surprise that American Idol (or as I call it, American Eye Dull) is considering adding a new element to the show. The final 12 contestants will all live together in a house, like Big Brother  -- once again exploiting the vulnerability of people in uncomfortable situations.
A career in the arts for anyone is usually a passion, something they must do and not just not a job you can go out and learn. The old joke that the one line of dialogue that every actor knows is,  "Do you want fries with that?" goes to show you how many actors, singers, dancers, etc must do many things they don't want to do just to continue to pursue their dream. I say to them, never give up!!
I just wished that every actor and every singer who has a pay-the-bills job like serving the McRib to my manager at the local McDonald's or driving a cab in Manhattan, that they realize this pay-the-bills job is also an opportunity to build their character and become a better person by embracing the uncomfortable present situation they find themselves in. I know first hand how it would be much easier to rebel and walk away from it. I know because I have been in that situation before. Whenever I completed one of those pay-the-bills job I always felt a little prouder about myself for completing it.
Although I am far from the ultimate success I want to have as a recording artist, as the modest success has started coming my way I honestly can say that I am thankful for the many times I have been humbled. It has indeed made me a much better singer, actress and all around better person in the long run.  And although maybe I did not know it at the time, perhaps I made a difference in someone else's life and I had no idea I was doing it. That is really the definition of  living the dream to me.
Blessings,
Ava
xox
Photo Courtesy of Michael Yarish, FOX TV

Saturday, November 13, 2010

We Don't Sell It Like That.


Today I went to a local coffee shop and ordered an ice coffee to go. "We don't have that" said Zelda the unimpressed preoccupied cashier doing her best Lindsay Lohan I'm-in-court-and-you're wasting-my-time-impression.  I asked if they had ice? Zelda said "Yah" I asked if they had coffee? Again Zelda replied in the affirmative slang by saying "Yah" So I said, well can't you put some ice in a cup and then put some coffee in it? Zelda said, "We don't sell it like that." But I will pay you for a full cup of coffee I insisted. I could tell I was wasting my time. All I was going to hear from mean girl Zelda was "We don't sell it like that", "We don't sell it like that" and that was going to be her final answer. She had no life...I had no life lines.
Unfortuantely, that is not the first time I have been told "We don't sell it like that" when I was asking for something that was extremely simple to do for anyone with a half of brain and a pulse. Don't think I am making fun of the people who work at the counters of fast food restaurants, I'm not. I'm just sayin' sometimes they need to think outside the box, err, outside the Jack-in-the-box. Besides my very own Mr. Bricks actually worked at a McDonald's way back when. He said it was so long ago their sign only said, "A Couple of Burgers Sold".
It has been discussed here on this blog before that unlike my manager Mr. Bricks who eats at McDonald's on a daily basis, I only frequent it rarely. And then usually only for a treat to myself after I finished working out. But every time I do walk into the Golden Arches I know Billions and Billions of instances for potential muckery is just around the corner. The McDonlad's Corporation did not get to be the biggest and cheapest fast food franchise in the world by hiring MIT graduates to work their counter service for them.
So, just like my experience today with an attempt to order an ice coffee at the coffee shop, I recently tried to order what I thought was a simple caramel sundae at McDonald's. I always order a plain sundae NO TOPPING PLEASE. And then I ask for 2 packets of the caramel dip that they give to kids for their apple dippers.  I always offer to pay what it costs for the packets of caramel dip. To me, the yummy factor of it is worth the few cents they might need to charge me. The cashier came back with a hot fudge sundae. I explained, No, I don't want a hot fudge sundae I asked for plain.
The cashier went back to the soft serve machine grabbed a new cup and returned with a 1/2 filled cup and 2 packets of caramel dip. I explained that just because I was getting a hot fudge sundae without the hot fudge I still should get a full cup of ice cream. That sensible outburst from me prompted a swift McIntervention from a nearby hovering supervisor, "We don't sell it like that." I offered to pay for the packets of caramel dip but was again simply told, "We don't sell it like that."
Maybe I should try Burger King.  Haven't I once heard them advertise that I can have it my way? Somehow I hardly doubt that to be true, unless I was ordering  just a Whopper with Cheese. Maybe I will go there and order a Whopper with cheese, and then say, "but I don't want cheese on it." Do you still think I can have it my way??
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJMsFGH4eoQ]
See Burger King actually did advertise in their jingles,  "Special orders don't upset us...." Now they just advertise that creepy King sneaking into people's bedrooms to promote their new breakfast items.  Wonder why they dropped that line about having it your way from their advertising? Oh wait, I know.... maybe it's because it's easier and way cheaper for the King's princesses and princes at the counter to now just say,  "We don't sell it like that."
Blessings,
Ava
xox
Vistit my website at www.avaaston.com

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

10 Random Thoughts by Ava Aston



1. Why do so many bloggers use the word random in their blog title at least once a week?
2. Is it just a coincidence that A & E advertises their show Billy The Exterminator during Hoarders.  Can you tell I am obsessed with  the show Hoarders?
3.  I chew 5 -6 pieces of gum all at once. Do you?
4. Smoking is a nasty habit. Why do smokers freak out and start  fanning the air like a bunch of killer bees has descended upon them when the smoke starts coming towards them? Don't they know where the smoke is coming from? It's coming from their own butt? (pun intended!)
5. Fantasia has her own reality series...why? Word.
6. Some idiot made up a fake Facebook profile using my name and picture.  Get a life dude.
7.  Do all TV meteorologists have a hint of sarcasm in their voice when they announce possible snow in October?
8. Food prepared by others always tastes better. Unless it was prepared by Mr. Bricks.
9. If I ever cop a bad attitude and a sense of entitlement like Lindsay Lohan has, please shoot me.
10. A week from today could be one of the most important election days in modern times. I hope you make the right choice.
Blessings,
Ava
xox