#hashtag #poundsign #numbersign

Are you confused yet?

So Mr. Bricks has given me a homework assignment.  I know I'm with you, I'm thinking "inside Ava Voice": "seriously Mr. Bricks what exactly is it you are going to tell me about technology Mr. My Cell Phone is From 1997" (I'm so not kidding about this)?....  So stand there with my big fat greek mouth shut (for once) I did while Mr. Bricks proceeds to tell me that my "twitter" needs some "serious work".

We all know how I like to make jokes about how old school Mr. Bricks is, but what you may not know is he is really hardcore old school.  He has charts and graphs and spreadsheets all documenting my "social media presence" as he likes to call it.  Which makes me laugh so hard my face hurts because Mr. Bricks is so old school that he used to carry his books to school with a leather strap that he slung over his shoulder walking five miles uphill in a snowstorm, did I fail to mention he wrote in school with a quill....  ;D So then Mr. technology proceeds to inform me that my numbers in all other areas such as myspace, facebook, reverbnation, my blog, etc. are all doing very well and going strong.  My twitter though.... not so much. He tells me that I really have to start paying a lot more attention to my twitter.  So being the good Greek Blonde Girl that I am, I jumped in full steam ahead.  However something happened and now my noggin wires are all crossed.

OK so I have been going along doing as I was instructed and have now spent a few months "paying attention" to my twitter...  So I start to see all the trending topics... yeah I get that, I start to get the hang of how to write down the random thoughts that roll out of my noggin, abbreviated and in very short form,  yeah I'm thinking I'm moving right along, then Bam.  This whole hash tag thing jumps out of left field.  Seriously now I'm confused.

So ~ the "#" is a "hashtag" and a "pound sign" and a "number sign" ?.....

What the heck?  Are we still talking in english here, why are we making up more stuff for letters and symbols we have always known as one thing?  Is it just me or do we possibly have enough things to do other than reinvent the wheel here on twitter? So I decided to put on my sherlock holmes cap and do some digging.  I wanted to get to the bottom of what in the world Old-Man Bricks was telling me.  Turns out I found something:

Hashtag: no it's not some sort of pricetag or information tag that is slapped on the side of a can of hash or hashish for those German readers of mine.  A Hashtag is a computer internet word designed to tell a computer to do something in relation to the word(s) it is connected or "Tagged" to.  In simple terms it's like a digital bookmark.

Poundsign: This one is a bit tricky and I am not so sure it still makes sense in my greek noggin.  When you google the word "poundsign" you get one of these:

The Pound Sign? Now I am more confused...

So now I am even more confused.  So I went to Wikipedia to learn more... Which then led me to the "Number Sign".  Confused yet?  Me too.  Even Wiki has to correct us.

Either way, I don't get it.  All I know is that I have to find a way to keep #oldmanBricks off my back.  So please go to my #TwitterPage and #FollowMe. (I hope this works) If not I guess I am going to wind up back in Mr. Brick's Detention.

Love and Blessings,
Ava :D xox

Famous Tweets That Never Actually Happened

It is hard to believe that the world hasn't always been this wired with human tracking devices like Twitter, Facebook  and Tumblr, etc. Last night I tweeted, I can't decide if I like Twitter or despise Twitter.  Regardless what my noggin decides on this important topic Twitter is now a valuable part of my life. I can't even imagine getting a cup of coffee or buying a new pair of sneakers and NOT broadcasting that tidbit of info to everyone in the universe. I don't use the GPS function pinpointing exactly where I am tweeting from because I find it a little creepy and for obvious security reasons. Besides no one really needs to know which Dunkin Donuts location I am at getting my coffee.

Today I did something I should never do. I let my Greek mind wander. Not about anything specific mind you, I just let it wander in general. I do that so I could have a good old-fashioned day-dream. I love day dreaming. I usually don't let my mind wander because I am scared it might not come back. And then I would be a Greek girl without a record deal and without a functioning noggin. Not good.

So today I was laying in the back yard, soaking up the sun, day dreaming and wondering what my grand parents and great grand parents would have thought about things like computers and social networking? I wonder what their tweets would have been like?

"Saw a motion picture at the theater today. It had sound. Freaked me out"

"Going to the Barn Dance tonite. Who wants to go?"

"Gas is up to 6 cents a gallon, where will it stop?"

"Had to walk 8 miles to school today in the snow. Can't wait to get sneakers or boots  someday"

"Got our new Sears and Roebuck catalogue today. It's really gay."

And then I was thinking about old famous people and wondered how history would have been captured by their tweets:

@OrvilleWright  - "Working on new invention, not sure if it will ever get off the ground"

@HenryFord - "Just got done pimping my new ride, the Model T. It'll hit speeds of 30 mph"

@AbrahamLincoln - "Play is about ready to start"  Tweeted from Ford's Theatre

@MamaCass - "Going to deli for ham sammich"

@QueenMarieAntoinette - "I know of a really good cake boss if anyone needs a bakery"

@MarcelMarceau -   "                                 "

@AlCapone - "The only thing for sure in life is death and taxes. Like I care about taxes"

@BetsyRoss - "Just finishing up a new sewing project. I think you will like it!"

@Sacajawea - "Why can't men ever stop and ask for directions?" With Lewis & Clark

@NeilArmstrong - "Wow the view here is out of this world"

@BenjaminFranklin - "Kinda stormy outside but going kite flying anyways"

@ChristopherColumbus - "Went sailing today with my homies. Found new country."

@GrouchoMarx - "Costco wants me to join. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member"

@EvelKnievel -"Oops. That's going to leave a mark"

@GeorgeWashington - "One cherry tree down. Wasn't me. For reals"

@DrSeuss - "Was interrupted while cooking breakfast. Now eggs are all green"

@AlfredHitchcock - "Most horror films are for the birds"

@JPaulGetty - "Big news about the kidnapping of my son. Keep you ear to the radio for details"

@RayKroc - "Has anyone tried my fake pork sandwich w/bbq sauce, pickle and oinions  on a bun?"   RT/ @mrbrick  "I have. It's delish"

You can follow me on Twitter @avaavston

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Image courtesy of  Sipslowly.com check out his blog!

Guess Who Got a Twitter Account?

Happy Saturday Morning Friends!

Enjoy the latest cartoon. You can Check out my Youtube Channel and see them all under the Saturday Morning Cartoon tab.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Trending Topics

The whole world was a buzz today because the "trending" feature of Twitter was not working. Now #NoTrendingTopics is trending. I saw that one coming.

OK, as my very first self-appointment of the new year I am appointing myself the Czar of Trending Topics. The entire trending thing has gotten way out of hand. It use to be something or someone could be old fashioned or out of style only if it had been around for years. Now with the interweb thingy, something is outdated if it has peaked and is no longer trending.

Effective immediately I am instituting the following as "mandatory reading" for anyone who is even thinking about wanting to trend a topic on Twitter or Google.

The Greek Girl's Etiquette Guide to Trending Topics  by Ava Aston

1. Weather

If something weather wise is obvious then there is no need to trend it because everyone already knows about. Example: Today we are having a Blizzard here in New York. So there is no good reason for people in New York to Tweet #NYBlizzard. Hello, I can look out my own window! Thank you very much.

2. Sports

Not everyone runs around with their face painted two different colors, because not everyone cares about guys in tight capri pants hugging each other. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but we just don't need a trending topic of which team does it best -just sayin.' So stop it already.

3. Celebrities

If I see a celebrity's name trending, I want to make sure they are dead! No wait, I don't mean I want them dead, I mean there should be no reason everyone wants to talk about a specific celebrity at the same time unless, you know - they kicked the bucket.  If you are like me and you see someone's name trending on Twitter you instantly Google their name to see how they died. So, effective immediately no celebrities names should be trending unless they are dead. The exception should be the name Ava Aston or the phrase Greek Blonde Girl, once It hit the big-time feel free to trend away on those, no need to wait for me to kick the bucket.

4. Animals

You know this Blonde Girl loves her furbabies - all four of those little doggies are my life!  So I can see when the word dog or cat is trending because other people love their furbabies as much as I do and that puts a smile on my Greek mug.  However, I am always suspicious when I see words like Zebra, Giraffe or warthog trending. I don't want to know why. So effective immediately, unless it is a species of pet for your home and it is one that you would let your mother see, it should not be trending. Dogs can be a trending topic 24/7 as far as I am concerned.

5. TV Shows

The invention of cable TV was a great thing. (I can't remember did Al Gore also take credit for inventing cable TV as well?) If there is something we don't want to watch we can change the channel (sorry Rachael Ray) But on Twitter if someone starts trending some dumb random show like, say for example The Rachael Ray Show, then for the next several hours my Twitter screen is hijacked with comments about a TV show that makes my skin crawl. So unless it's about one of my favorite TV shows (Biggest Loser, Days of Our Lives or Joel Osteen) then it can not be trending any more. The exception will be for any shows I am starring or guest starring on.

Oh, and one more new law. Those hashtag thingys ---->  # . Banned forever. I don't roll like that.

Yes, I am the Trending Topics Czar and it is all about me.  NOTE: I learned that line at the Czar training workshop I went to at the White House.  That is what they teach you there -- just sayin'

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Music Industry Rocked By New WikiLeaks Scandal?

In what can only be described as an ironic parody of the recent WikiLeaks breaches of national security with the release of sensitive classified documents from an insider within the United Nation’s US diplomat’s offices, the US music industry is now being rocked and rolled by a similar scandal with the release of a 50,000 page document dump from the tell all/reveal all WikiLeaks website.

The apparent target of the leaks is music industry executive boardroom and water cooler discussions, sensitive documents, Facebook posts, texts, tweets, YouTube viral videos and emails about unsigned recording artist Ava Aston.  A source close to someone who knows someone who once worked at a major record label said that “heads will roll” over the release of these sensitive documents. The unnamed source said although he has not seen any of the actual documents he is “pretty sure” there was a lot of cussing and name calling in them, because “that’s how top music executives roll.”

Ava Aston is an unsigned artist looking for a major record deal. Aston and her career was the commonality discussed among the music industry executives quoted in the more than 50,000 pages of sensitive documents. A source close to someone who dated the reporter who uncovered the documents verified that the documents frequently mention that Ava is a young “hot looking Greek girl” but that they only wanted to sign 11-year old girls. The sketchy source went on to say the documents reveal music industry powers-that-be only wanted to sign new artists who haven’t yet finished the 6^th grade. The documents go onto to cite the success of Justin Bieber, Jackie Evancho, Greyson Chance and  Rhema Marvanne as examples of why they want to sign pre-teens to major record deals.

Although warned by a whistle-blower, who tried to rally for Ava Aston’s defense by going public on HLN’s The Joy Behar Show to say that music is universal and a good artist can be over the age of 12 –  was rudely silenced by Behar and her guest, a middle-aged music executive who once was the toast of the industry when he signed the late actor Telly Savalas to a multi-million dollar record deal in the late 1970's. Behar publicly admitted that not only is she tone-deaf but that she is also not funny.  The older music executive continued to say he was “down with his  homies and peeps on the street and that he knew what would sell, for reals.” Leaked documents revealed The whistle-blower was later fired from his six-figure a year A & R position and told a confidential source that he recently filed a Qui Tam lawsuit or a whistle-blowers lawsuit against his employers and the entire music industry. It appears the whistle-blower was not fired for his lawsuit, but instead was fired for appearing on the lowly rated Behar cable show instead of a highly rated show like CNN's Larry King Live. According to a neighbor of the whistleblower’s grandmother she was told the appearance proved to be an embarrassment to the record label and so they had to let him go.

WikiLeak founder Julian Assange said during a Rolling Stone phone interview he granted from a cave that he shares with his fellow fugitive-on-the-lam and friend Osama Bin Laden, that he has no regrets for any embarrassment that these documents might shed on the music industry.  He said that he has downloaded (legally) Ava Aston’s “Gone” CD and said he often listens to her music on his iPod when he and Osama are out walking their camels. Assange said he thinks Aston has an incredible sound and that any record label would be lucky to have her.

Other documents revealed that some very liberal music executives feared that Ava Aston was un-American and not worthy of a major record deal because she wrote and recorded the song , “We The People” a song where she is asking Americans to stand up and support their country. Aston wrote the song about right and wrong, not the right and the left. When a low-level marketing rep for the record label sent an email and questioned the label VP about what was un-American about standing up and supporting our country he responded by saying, “I don’t know, it's just what they say on MSNBC all of the time.”

Ava Aston was unavailable for comment when contacted about the massive record industry document dump from WikiLeaks. Like a typical manager in the music industry, Aston's manager Mr. Bricks did not return phone calls from reporters working on this musical satire, but was seen having lunch at a local McDonald's with a McRib in his hands.

All in fun my friends, all in fun.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

B.S.N. (Before Social Networking)

"Wow, MySpace is so cool nothing will ever beat this!"

Ava Aston 2006

That was a quote from me more than 4 years ago. I feel so foolish now. Despite my MySpace profile having more than 1 million page views, I must admit I rarely use it anymore except to update my music and to touch base with my fans.  You can check out my MySpace page here.

I really just use Facebook almost exclusively now. You can check out my Facebook page here. And while you are there, please click on  "like". Thanks.  This time, I am not putting my Greek neck on the line and saying nothing will ever top Facebook, because I am sure something will. I hope I invent it! I could then sell it for a billion dollars.

I have also been lured into the Twitter trap. It's quick, it's fun and it's a great way to let people know I am eating potato soup for lunch! I can even Tweet them this photo!

Ok, so in case you must know what I am having for lunch tomorrow I can be followed on Twitter here.

Shameless plugs aside, the real point of today's blog post was to look at the muckery in my life B.S.N. (Before Social Networking) I am such a scatterbrain I am glad that I only have to go back a few short years in the deep dark crevasse of my noggin to come up with the ways I had to do things the "Old School" way or B.S.N.

Music Gigs

B.S.N. : Design a flyer and send to everyone on my mailing list. Each show would take about 3 - 4 hours to market. Cost: $100+ in printing and postage.

With Social Networking : I just post a notice on my wall about my upcoming gigs. It takes less than a minute and it's free. I can reach thousands and thousands of my fans simultaneously. And since my Twitter, Facebook and MySpace accounts are all linked -- I only have to do it once and I get the message out on all 3 sites. Cost:Free

Sneaker Shopping

B.S.N.: I had to run around from store to store looking for good deals on the latest sneakers. It was just total muckery I tell you. And it took forever. Cost: A Tank of Gas

With Social Networking : I can tweet what style of sneaker I am looking for and within a few short minutes I get all sorts of leads on where I can go get my newest sneaker crush. It allows me more time to work out and stay home with my doggies instead of running all over Manhattan. Cost: Free

News

B.S.N.: We all had to watch the news and read newspapers, usually hours after events happened. It was all one-sided. They spoke and we listened (or read)

With Social Networking: Things are reported instantaneous. We can get Tweet updates from places like TMZ and I now can learn important things like that Lindsay Lohan has relapsed. And I can learn that even before she has left the rehab treatment center. (Well, OK I guess that is just a gimme, and I didn't need  social networking to know that)

But are you noticing a trend here? By using social networking I am working a lot less harder and things are cheaper to get done. That is music to any Greek girl's ears. We love to work less and save money--well, not really save money. We (at least I do) love to only spend money on things I want to spend it on ie; sneakers, chocolate, coffee drinks and anything at Superdry or Kohl's.

I know some people will disagree with the convenience of social networking and their argument will be that it is destroying the communication skills of our young people. I totally disagree and I think it is just older generations who are saying that. I say just embrace it.

It is making my life a whole bunch easier. I know my manager Mr. Bricks (hence my belief it is the older generation) has not yet got with the social networking program. But then again, Mr. Bricks might be one Tweet short of a gigabyte anyway. Part of his problem is his cell phone, computer are all pre-Nixon era. I think if he went on Antiques Roadshow with them he would make a fortune - just sayin'.

Some of the real pitfalls of social networking are that you can no longer dodge your friends as easily as before. In the B.S.N. days you could tell a friend that you didn't get their phone call or that your machine deleted all of the messages. But now with social networking anyone can look at your various walls and see that their post to you is still there and that you are just ignoring them. If they Tweet or text and you don't respond, well then sometimes they continue non-stop until they get a response.

They know you are alive and not dead because it is as if they can see your virtual heart beat. They can follow your every move. They see that you are Tweeting about how it sucks that the heater in your car broke. They can see the Facebook post that says you just gave them a brown cow on Farmville. They can marvel at how you just had a score of 425,228 on Bejeweled Blitz or that you advanced to the next level of Mafia Wars.  If you don't want them to know all of that, I have two words for you: Privacy Settings.

So yes, there are obvious downsides of social networking, but I think we are all better off than Before Social Networking.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

The blog that almost did not happen!

11:00 PM - So I was sitting there slumbered into my easy chair feet propped up on the coffee table, a large cup of coffee in my hand, some chocolate nearby and a mass of Pekingese in my lap. It was a long weekend and if I wanted to get a daily blog out bright and early tomorrow morning the weekend was going to be a little bit longer.

11:10PM I'm honestly debating about not posting anything. I could use that blog cop-out by putting some bogus caption about having writer's block and then leaving a blank page.  Nope that would be too easy I thought. I need to press on.

11:15 PM I'm sure the coffee at this late hour is fueling my decision making. But I don't want to disturb the sleeping dogs. Maybe I will just veg here for a few more minutes.

11:45 PM The fact that I have expanded my personal muckery to the four corners of the world with this blog is a huge motivating factor to turn off my Tivo'd episode of "Undercover Boss" and start writing something for a new blog post.  Besides, on the show this week the CEO was from a bowling company - who cares, he's just a pinhead! (Ok I admit, I've been dying to use that pinhead joke) Oh wait, it's almost over. I will just finish watching and then I will start writing.

12:18 AM It boggles my Greek little brain that I have faithful readers in places like India,  Pakistan, Indonesia  and Russia that want to start each and every day by seeing what kind of muckery the crazy American girl has gotten herself into in the last 24 hours. Yah, I know they are laughing at me, and not with me, but that's ok because I laugh at me as well.

12:46 AM All of this international reminiscing and another coffee encourages me to turn on the computer.

I was thinking about something yesterday. It is pretty funny to me that my blog went global almost instantly. I didn't realize the power of the almighty blog until my manager Mr. Bricks informed me that WordPress is the 19th most visited website on the planet. (According to Alexa.com the company that ranks website traffic.) So it started to make sense why I was getting email from people in Calcutta asking me if I know Brittney Spears. I don't.

1:00AM Speaking of email I should quickly check mine now before I write the blog post and go to bed. BRB.

1:27AM Did I ever mention that can also be found on Twitter andFacebook? I  do enjoy also having my Greek opinion splashed on other people's walls on those social networking sites as well. But here's the problem -- Twitter limits me to 140 characters. I'm Greek. It takes me 140 characters just to say Hi.  And Facebook is like going to the mall. There is so much to do I always end up hanging out there for hours and then I never getting anything else done.

2:31 AM I hate Farmville  - just saying'  It's like giving crack to city people who have always wanted to own their own farm.

3:18 AM I  have noticed that people who follow me on Facebook or Twitter tend to be users who are generally in the United States or Canada. I do not get the United Nations of followers like my blog gets. I wonder why that is? Any ideas?

3:36 AM Oh crap, look at the time. I forgot about my blog.... I need to write something quick. Oh wait. I just did. Sweet.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Visit me at my website www.avaaston.com

OMG! My mom is trending on Twitter

Can you think of anything scarier than logging onto Twitter and seeing that your own Mom is a trending topic on Twitter? Now that's a thought that kinda makes me vomit a little in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mom to death. But I really don't want the whole world talking about her in 140 characters or less. She's my Mom, and well I just think somethings are private and shouldn't be fodder for Twitter.

Here are also a few other tweet topics I hope I never see trending on Twitter:

• Chicken McNugget Shakes
• $h*! My Dog Leaves
• MrBricks Girlfriends
• Days of Our Lives Cancelled

The whole reason this came up today is when I was  getting ready to Tweet something about my songs being on iTunes I noticed that #HueyLewis was trending. I'll be honest, the first thing I thought was that he had died! I mean this week I saw #BarbaraBillingsley and  #TomBosley both trending because they died. I hate to say it, but you all know how they say celebrities die in threes, right? Well, I just figured Huey's time was up and he was dead celebrity #3.  Why else was he trending?  But thank goodness for the Power of Love fans around the world, when I Googled Huey Lewis I learned that he wasn't dead. In fact he was alive and well and singing the National Anthem at the Giants / Phillies game.

Then I got mad. I mean Mrs. Cleaver and Mr. C deserved to be trending Twitter topics because they have both given us hundreds of hours of laughs. And what better way to pay our digital respects than to Tweet our favorite memories of them to our friends.

But Huey Lewis trending for singing the National Anthem at a ball game? I don't think so. Look, I've sung the National Anthem at a boatload of professional sporting events and it never trended, nor did I expect it too. So whats the big deal with Huey? But then I realized why he was trending... I think it's because when people saw Huey Lewis on TV tonight, they started tweeting their friends saying things like,  Dude, I didn't know Huey Lewis was still alive?,  Who is this old guy singing? or  Wow, did you see those jets do a fly by over the stadium when that dude was singing? Awesome!

On Saturday when Mr. Bricks actually tweeted me that Barbara Billingsley had died I was sad for him. He was lucky enough to be able to call her a friend.  He told me a story that the last time he saw her was about a year a half ago.  Mr. Bricks said Barbara was 92 and she looked stunning in her heels and pearls!!  Mr. Bricks said when he went up to give her a hug she leaned into him and whispered into his ear, "Mr. Bricks, tuck in your shirt tail,  you don't want to look like a slob." Spoken like a real mom!

Quick Trivia: Leave It To Beaver is syndicated all over the world and it has never gone off the air since it debuted on October 4, 1957 and went into syndication.  Somewhere around the world it is always playing. You can thank Mr. Bricks for that little piece of trivia. He is full of useless crap like that!

Speaking of Barbara Billingsley, I'd be remiss if I didn't include her clip from the movie Airplane where she spoke Jive.

Clip from the movie Airplane where Barbara speaks Jive

Yes Mrs. Cleaver you will be missed by Mr. Bricks and millions and millions of fans around the world. You were the best TV Mom ever. And I'm so glad my Mom is still around so I can pick up the phone and call her anytime. I just don't want her to ever be a trending topic on Twitter for any reasons. It kinda wigs me out that she even has a Twitter account. Know what I'm sayin'?  I Love you Mom!

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Twitter

I did the Myspace thing, now I'm hooked on Facebook, but everyday I hear more and more about Twitter. No it isn't just the sound a bird makes anymore, it's a social networking site. What is Twitter though? I've often wondered. Why should I leave Facebook where I'm perfectly happy, just so I can say I have a Twitter account? Well I researched Twitter to better understand it and this is what I've came up with.

10. It's like Facebook, but with only Status Updates

9. Dedicated Twitter users average about 150 "tweets" a day

8. 88% of Twitter users ALWAYS check their Twitter accounts before actually starting their day

7. Most Twitter users are celebrities

6. You can get "tweets" sent to your phone as text messages (my sister has this, and I always think she has so many friends)

5. New York has the most Twitter profiles

4. 53% of Twitter users are women

3. Britney Spears is blocked by 3855 Twitter users

2. Barack Obama's Twitter account was hacked on January 5th. Hey if it's been done before it can be done again!

1. It's an excuse for people to think they have friends that are celebrities

So if you haven't done the Twitter thing, maybe it's for you? My mom has a Twitter account just so she can think she's cool, but I have yet to get one. I honestly don't care if Jessica Simpson hates Melrose Place for kicking her sister off the show, if Kanye finally apologized to Taylor, or if Miley has finally given in and gotten her teeth fixed. I'll read the tabloids for that, thank you very much.

--Courtney Kabbes