DEEP SIX: MY INNER TV CHARACTERS

Sometimes I describe myself as being the Skipper of 'Gilligan's Island' on the outside, but inside I'm Captain Jack of 'Torchwood'. (That's a paraphrase from an old Wally Cox underwear commercial.) But if I had to choose the TV characters with whom I relate the most?

1] BUDDY SORRELL, 'The Dick Van Dyke Show'
I've always wanted to a) get paid to be funny, b) get to sleep on the job, and c) have a bald guy I could make fun of. Well, two out of three ain't bad - sorry about that Bob Cohen....

2] KING TUT, 'Batman'
My true name is Thomas, which means "twin", and I was born under the sign of the twins, Gemini. King Tut, aka Professor William Omaha McElroy, embodies my dual nature. One is a soft-spoken expert from Connecticut in his chosen field. The other is a flamboyant criminal mastermind.

3] UNCLE FESTER, 'The Addams Family'
I would have to shoot somebody I know in the back; I just couldn't face them. I also like weird things and probably could make a light bulb glow in my mouth.....

4] THE SECOND DOCTOR, 'Doctor Who'
Patrick Troughton's incarnation has always been my favorite. The baggy pants clown, the cosmic hobo, who's not afraid to show his fear, playful and desperate.

5] ANTHONY FREMONT, 'The Twilight Zone'
When people get me angry, I wish them into the cornfield. The only thing is, it doesn't turn out that way as often as I'd like. Still, it feels good to make the effort. I have a great wet purple gaze.

6] MURRAY SLAUGHTER, 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'
I'm a writer who has far too many Mary Richardses in his life, to love, pure and chaste, from afar.....

And just to show that I can get in touch with my feminine side.....

MELISSA STEADMAN, 'thirtySOMETHING'
"Isn't it amazing how loneliness can wake you up?" And even though someone else might be grieving, I'd want the attention. I'm selfish that way.

BCnU!

"Seven.... It would be a mythic number...."
Melissa Steadman
'thirtySOMETHING'