Facedown vs Planking

Me planking (or so I thought) as a joke to Mr. Bricks ;D

So what is up with the "Planking" rage all of the sudden? What I can not seem to wrap my noggin around is why on earth people are all of the sudden so excited to lay down - on things?  I was working out one afternoon and I get a text from Mr. Bricks....   "Ava, have you heard about planking?"  I'm thinking... hmmm planking, what the heck is he talking about now...   Mr. Bricks have you been drinking?  I text him back "I'm working out, I'll be done in another hour or so, ttyl" He proceeds to continue to text me like something ~ really important is going on...

So I decided the following weekend to take a photo as a joke of me "Planking" (or so I thought I was planking) in front of my dream car the Bubble Bee Camaro.  So come to find out, I was actually not planking at all, I was "Facedown".  How did I learn this you may be asking yourself?  Well wouldn't you know it, old man Bricks has found the clarification to inform me that I was not planking and I was in fact facedown.  He even sent me the link to the video to prove it....

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2011/06/15/dnt.facedown.craze.king?eref=igoogledmn_mpvideo

So here I am about a month or so later sitting here asking myself, why on earth does my manager Mr. Bricks know so much about "planking" & "facedown", yet I still do not have a record deal? So now I know what he spends his time doing, that is besides eating McRib sandwiches all dang day long...  He spends his time reading up on things like planking when he is supposed to be getting me a record deal (just sayin). I think I am going to tell Mr. Bricks that I think planking is really cool and that I would love to get a picture of him planking in between my two tour buses when they are parked side by side loading up for my US Tour.  Yeah, that's a good idea. ;D

All joking aside here because we all know I'm all about laughing and having a fun time, but really I do not condone ~ anything ~ that can possibly cause harm to yourself or others.  Life is precious, I do not feel it wise to risk life and limb just to get a "funny" or outrageous photo.  I heard on the news a few weeks ago that someone was even killed falling off of a balcony trying to get a photo of themselves "planking".  So of course have fun, take risks, live your life to the fullest - but do not do anything just for the "shock" value of it.  In this humble Greek Girl's opinion, it is simply not worth it.  (in full disclosure, my "planking/facedown" photo was taken in a parking lot away from any space any car could drive on) :D Be smart blog friends!

Have a beautiful blessed day!

Ava :D xox

YouTube Killed The Record Stars

My YouTube Channel

Video Killed the Radio Star is a song by the British new wave group The Buggles, who released it as their debut single in September 1979, on Island Records. It celebrates the golden days of radio, describing a singer whose career is cut short by the invention of television. The song topped the music charts in several countries and not by me, but has been covered by many other recording artists. Coincidentally, it was the very first music video aired on MTV in the U.S. at 12:01am on 1 August 1981 when that music channel first went on the air. The song was number 40 on VH1's 100 Greatest One-Hit Wonders of the 80's. Hmmm, one hit wonder...sound familiar yet? Read on.

Music videos have been a great addition to the music industry. Sometimes it helps the audience understand exactly what was in song writer's noggin when  they  wrote the song. A great deal of early singers who found fame and fortune on the radio were crowded out with the invention of TV.  The early pioneers of the music industry sometimes created an image of what an artist would look like, and since people could hear them but not see them that worked for everyone until television came along. When TV came along, and some people sounded better than they looked, there went their careers.

When MTV came along in 1980's it was novel and some singers and band's images were made on MTV just because they made a video and had a certain cool look. As my manager Mr. Bricks tells me, back in the early days of MTV, not every song on the radio had a video. On a side note, Mr. Bricks was friends with Michael Jackson, (yes, that Michael Jackson) and Mr. Bricks was telling me just the other day about how Michael Jackson was describing to him the idea of what MTV was going to be all about, even before it debuted. Since there never had been anything like it at the time Mr. Bricks couldn't get the concept through his thick noggin. He said Michael kept giggling at him for not understanding what MTV was all about. Apparently Mr. Bricks never did get his thick noggin fixed.

Eventually, after several years of MTV,  the music video became less and less novel and soon became a necessity for a hit song. That brings us to the current dilemma where YouTube has created instant celebrities for the music industry and for this YouTube Generation (YTG).  Take someone like 13 year-old Rebecca Black, who’s song Friday’s video went viral instantly on YouTube amassing a staggering 111 million views to date. Did Rebecca get the popularity she has because she is a talented singer ?

No, the entire reason Rebecca Black has 111 million views on YouTube is because the producer from the Ark Factory knew that Justin Bieber was making millions of dollars and his videos were described as some of the most "disliked videos on YouTube." How bad are they? Well, if  the fact that Justin's very worst video, "Baby", just surpassed 500 million YouTube views last month, then they must be pretty bad. That is where Rebecca Black fits in. Her producers from the Ark Factory wanted to be just as "bad" as Justin, so they cleverly marketed it as “The Worst Song Ever.” By leaking a statement like that to the media, assured instant attention from the YTG who loves watching any video of the worst of anything. The worst car crash, the worst basketball shot, the worst practical joke, etc. Then they make it go viral by emailing the link of that "worst video" to 500 of their closest friends. And when a Justin Bieber song or Rebecca Black's song shows up on YouTube with a million views, the YTG thinks, " it must be good because it has so many views" and then the rest is history as the cycle repeats itself. To date Justin Bieber has 2 of the top YouTube videos of all-time with more than  a 1,541,295,560 views on his YouTube Vevo channel. (that's 1.5 billion) But, simultaneously with that achievement, Bieber also holds the distinction of having 5 of the top 10 most "disliked" (we can't say hate anymore) videos of all time on YouTube. To show the way YouTube has changed the musical landscape think of this: Michael Jackson only has 650,813,338 (that's 650 million) YouTube views on his YouTube Viveo channel. Now, if anyone can honestly say that Justin Bieber is better or more talented than Michael Jackson then they need to have their melon examined because that's just not right. With the way the music industry uses the YouTube yardstick to measure talent, that means in 2 months on the musical landscape Rebecca Black is 1/6 as popular as Michael Jackson and that Justin Bieber is a musical prodigy? This all makes my head bleed. Am I bitter, nope not at all, just sunburnt from the Florida sun.

The current record label executives grew up on MTV and they are currently not paying attention to anyone who has graduated from middle school or who knew life before Sham Wows.  They forget that a hit song is a hit song, no matter what the age of the performer is. The issue is whether or not the musical gate keepers in their ivory towers have enough vision to sign and distribute an artist who doesn’t need a legal guardian to accompany them to the recording studio. Rebecca Black’s song Friday is a mere novelty song and although it has achieved tremendous YouTube play and iTunes downloads, it is not considered to be artistically appealing. Catchy yes, artistic, not so much.

Unfortunately, these record executives are missing some pretty incredibly talented singers (hello, my name is Ava Aston and I think I am a pretty incredibly talented singer, just sayin') and it has turned many of us into indie artists. Take me for example, even though I have worked my Greek butt off since the age of 5 developing the skills and talent that I now have, skills that a teenager like Rebecca Black doesn’t have, simply because I no longer wear braces and a padded bra, I am off-limits to the major labels. That's just so wrong! The industry's trend of signing super young singers makes Taylor Swift seem like a VH1 artist and a music industry veteran. 

So, as most of you should know by now, next Thursday April 28th I am releasing the "Gone" music video, which is the title track on my "Gone" CD. I have given Mr. Bricks permission  to go ahead and send out a press release proclaiming "Gone" as the worst song ever written and the absolute worst music video of all time. I even gave him permission to say things like, "Ava Aston's "Gone" music video is so bad that if you watch it more than 3 times in a row your noggin will explode" or "If you thought Rebecca Black's Friday was bad, wait until you see Ava Aston's "Gone"  or my all time favorite hyperbole is, "Free sneakers to the first 100 Million YouTube Views"

Now of course I don't really believe that my song and video are worst of all time, I am actually very proud of them. And I don't begrudge Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black at all, I am happy for their success. I am impressed with what they have achieved. If you want to see just how bad my "Gone" music video is, you will be able to see it on Thursday, Thursday, Thursday  April 28, 2011.  Set your iPhone reminders now!!!

Ok, this hot Florida sun is wreaking havoc on my noggin. I think I need #60 sun screen.

Blessings,

Ava

xox

Singing The Reality Stars Blues

Kim Kardashian Singing Star?

Do you really want to see this Greek girl go ballistic? Then give me tickets to a future Kim Kardashian concert. Yah, that's right Kim Kardashian now thinks she is a singer! Kim and Kanye West are putting the record together with the help of The-Dream, aka Terius Youngdell Nash. The-Dream is without a doubt the most talented R & B writer, producer, artist out there today! I just wonder why he would be working with Kim. I think I know why, butt....I'm not really sure. (spelling error intentional)

Now I can not really comment on Kim Kardashian's singing voice yet because I haven't heard her sing. And I am sure in real life she is a nice enough girl. So I will reserve my big fat Greek opinion on her ability to do so, until after I actually do. So why did Kim Kardashian get a record deal? I don't think she has been spending years in vocal lessons and working on her craft....butt, she does have a reality series. (spelling error intentional)

This is not the first time the record industry has tried to strike gold by signing a reality star to a record deal. Paris Hilton went down that road. In 2006 she released her debut album called Paris. Domestically it sold fewer than 500,000 copies, but internationally it sold 2.3 million copies. I should note that she has not recorded any additional music, but continues to release music videos. I guess she got the memo that the world would rather SEE Paris Hilton, than HEAR Paris Hilton.

More recently two of the ladies on the "Housewives of..." reality series released CD's.

Real annoying housewives Luann de Lesseps, aka "The Countess" and Kim "Tardy for the Party" Zolciak 

Depending on how much you like to watch your ears bleed or enjoy watching an automobile wreck on the Palisades Parkway The Greek Girl personally invites you to listen to the fine musical stylings that have come from these two-over inflated, ego-driven reality stars.

Money Can't Buy You Class. It just goes to show that money might not be able to buy you class, talent or a good singing voice, but it sure can buy you a record deal! Can you hear me now Kim Kardashian? Hang on, I just vomited a little in the back of my throat. There's so much electronic muckery going on with LuAnn's voice it just makes me sick.

But Luann's voice will seem like butter (rancid movie theatre butter at that) compared to listening to Atlanta Housewife Kim Zolciak's song, "Tardy For The Party." Here you be the judge:

OK, I can't take any more of this Muckery.... Mr. Bricks, I want a record deal and I want it NOW! Or get me a reality series Mr. Bricks so I will the get a record deal - just sayin'

Blessings,

Ava

xox

You Are The Weakest Link

Remember this curt sharp-tongued lady named Anne Robinson, who was the host of the game show called “The Weakest Link”? Her catch phrase after anyone was eliminated was a very quick and unceremonious "You are the weakest link -  good-bye!"

I was thinking how great it would be in real life I was a super hero and I had the secret powers where I could get rid of someone who was not pulling their own weight by simply walking up to them and saying, "You are the weakest link - good-bye!" No further explanation would be needed.  Poof, they would be gone.

How tempting would that be? Hmmm, where would I start? Well today I would have used it on the waitress at the diner who served me a cold cup of coffee.

Me: Excuse me Miss

Diner Waitress: (irritated and smacking gum) What do you want?

Me: ( sweet as pie) Well it seems that you served me cold coffee. Can I get a fresh hot cup?

Diner Waitress: (shrugs shoulders) Whatever

Me: (annoyed at the whatever response ) Oh, and there's one more thing.

Diner Waitress: (rolling eyes) What now?

Me: You are the weakest link -  good-bye!

POOF she is outta there!

Maybe as the Super Hero I would travel to Washington DC and do a little house cleaning! Poof they are outta there. Oops did I just say that out loud?

This super ability could also really come in handy when all of the relatives are around. 

Me: Hey, how have you been? I haven't seen you since our last family get together.

Generic Relative:  Well I'm doing Ok. You know, just hanging in there.

Me: So....have you found a job yet?

Generic Relative: No, the job markets sucks right now.

Me: yah, but it's been like 11 years now since you've worked.

Generic Relative: No, it's only been 10 I think.

Me: No, I'm pretty sure it's 11. It was before the New Millennium. So where are you living these days?

Generic Relative: Oh, you know just couch surfing with friends.

Me: (shocked) oh!

Generic Relative: (in a whispered voice) Well between you and me, if Granny would just keel over I bet she's leaving a bundle of dough for each of us! Then I wouldn't ever have to worry about a job and I could score my own pad.

Me: You are the weakest link -  good bye!

POOF they are outta there!

Of course that was just a joke. I love all of my fun-loving loud Greek relatives and I would never have to employ my secret abilities on any of them. But I might need to use it on my manager Mr. Bricks.

Me: Good morning Mr. Bricks

Mr. Bricks: Hey Ava. What's going on?

Me: You tell me Bricks. Do I have a record deal yet?

Mr. Bricks: No I am working on it.

Me: You are the weakest link -  good-bye!

POOF he is outta there!

Blessings,

Ava

xox

You can visit my website at www.avaaston.com

Ava Wants To Make A New Year's Resolution

Here is the latest installment of your Saturday Morning Cartoons -- Enjoy!

Blessings,


Ava
xox

Two days left for you to particpate in my Christmas Bonus Buy on my two CD's.

Ava Wants a Record Deal

Here is a Saturday cartoon for you!

Blessing,


Ava
xox