Sometimes, television can predict the future......
TV NETWORK EXECUTIVE
We're thinking about cutting back on our coverage.
TOBY
You only covered two hours a night last time. How much more can you...?
EXEC
We're talking about an hour.
TOBY[laughing]
You can't do an hour a night, that's just...
EXEC
See you don't understand. We're talking about an hour for each convention. We cover the acceptance speeches, that's it.
TOBY
One of these times you guys are going to come in here and say that and it's going to be true.
[The media directors look at him seriously.]
TOBY
Look, this is obviously a--do not eat the fruit--this is obviously a, a negotiating position for you, so what is it you need? You want us to vote a member of the Rules Committee out of the convention every night or something? The secretary should eat a jellyfish?
EXEC
You know what sir, don't talk to me like I'm other people. The four of us are news directors and there isn't a day that one of us isn't begging the person we work for to let us for the love of Jesus Christ do the news.
Is the Republican nominee Rob Ritchie? Yes. Is his running mate Jeff Hesten? Yes. And that question, as impossible as it may be to believe becomes even less suspenseful when talking about the Democratic ticket.
And will there be anything of any force or consequence in the platform? No. Will there be a floor fight over it? What does it matter? And you're getting huffed because the four of us are questioning the wisdom of presenting a four-day infomercial, in primetime, under network news, simulcast?
We'll show the acceptance speeches. And the balloons. The balloons aren't news but it's nice television.
('The West Wing')
On Tuesday, July 27th, not one of the major broadcasting networks bothered to show anything from the second night of the Democratic National Convention in Boston, not even the one hour of coverage they offered up on the other nights.
This week, the Republican National Convention is being held in NYC, and the networks have chosen to scrap the opening night coverage instead so that they can begin their miserly three hour coverage with the Tuesday night speaker.
Why? Because a human cartoon action figure who groped his way into office will be the headliner. The networks are probably not even looking at this as a news story, but more as an entertainment piece.
Considering that the networks get control of their airwaves for practically nothing, they should have been broadcasting the entire convention as a public service. Those people still without cable should be given the chance to see the entire convention process, to better inform their choices. The networks should not be making the decision for them.
MEDIA DIRECTOR 1
We understand you have a counter offer.
TOBY
Yeah. You broadcast all four nights of the convention.
MEDIA DIRECTOR 2
Why?
TOBY
'Cause the public owns the airwaves, not you, and you have a legal obligation to the public.
MEDIA DIRECTOR 3
The public could care less about the nominating conventions. So why?
TOBY
You have an FCC public obligation.
MEDIA DIRECTOR 3
Show me a station that's lost its licence for not showing enough public interest programming.
TOBY
I can't.
MEDIA DIRECTOR 3
So why?
TOBY
'Cause if you don't the Justice Department is going to investigate you for anti-trust violation.
MEDIA DIRECTOR 4
Anti-trust violation?
TOBY
A joint decision not to compete for the best convention programming.
MEDIA DIRECTOR 2
You're accusing us of conspiring not to show money-losing programming?
TOBY
Not me so much as the Justice Department. 15 U.S.C. section 1. "Every contract combination or conspiracy in restraint of trade or commerce is declared to be illegal. Every person who shall engage in any combination..."
MEDIA DIRECTOR 3
All right, we get it. We all have lawyers that we'll have to talk to.
TOBY
Yes, no. There isn't going to be a horse race to cover, either in New York or San Diego. But we gave you the air waves for free 70 years ago and 357 days a year you can say who's up and who's down, who won the West and who lost the South.
But what's wrong with 8 days, not every year but every 4 years, showing our leaders talking to us? Not a fraction of what they said, but what they said.
And then th-the balloons.
MEDIA DIRECTOR 3
Like I said.....
TOBY
You have to talk to the lawyers.
MEDIA DIRECTOR 3
Yes.
TOBY
Talk to the lawyers.
('The West Wing')
\/
[_]
I would have complained to the FCC myself, but it's run by the son of the Secretary of State, so what's the use?
But I do like balloons........
BCnU!
Toby
(not him, a different one)
(Tubeworld@aol.com)
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Monday, August 30, 2004
'LOST' IN TRANSMISSION
I mentioned the other day that one of the two new shows I'm most eagerly awaiting is 'Jack & Bobby'. The other show is ABC's 'Lost'.
Here's a quickie description from Yahoo! TV:
Forty-eight people have survived a horrific plane crash in the South Pacific -- but they were 1,000 miles off course when it happened, so no one knows where they are.
What's more, one of them was traveling in handcuffs and leg irons (for what crime, we don't know), and the remote island is home to some mysterious things lurking in its interior.
And with Meriadoc Brandybuck in the cast to boot!
Damon Lindelof, one of the show's creators, had this to say in an interview:
"They (the survivors) will NOT name their island... but that's not to say they won't discover it already HAS a name. And it can't possibly be as entertaining as 'Moga Moga'."
As a caretaker for the TV Universe, I'm hoping that when they do find the name of the island, it turns out to be... "Bomano".
No, not Bonomo, you taffy-head! Bomano. It had once been used by the Atomic Energy Commission as an a-bomb test site, so it was complete with buildings, a few cars, provisions, and test dummies.
But it had all been abandoned and mostly forgotten by 1969 when a plane crash brought a group of college students who were returning to America from Southeast Asia. Forced to fend for themselves, the students tried to establish a utopia, but found old prejudices and class differences had followed them into their new world.
The TV Universe lost track of 'The New People' less than a year later, but it's always possible that even after thirty years some of them might still be stranded there on Bomano. But with thirty years having passed, there could be a second generation descended from those original survivors.
In his interview, Lindelof has suggested that we may end up meeting more than just the 48 survivors of this latest crash. ("I will not comment on whether or not we'll be meeting any other human beings on the island who were NOT on the plane. But I will posit this -- Who's to say we haven't already?")
Here's a description of "The Dark Side Of The Island" (episode #9 from 'The New People') which aired November 17, 1969:
"The discovery of a shallow grave gives rise to fears that someone - or something - may inhabit the unexplored side of the island. The fear mushrooms into near hysteria when one of the girls disappears."
Damon Lindelof was on record as saying there are no dinosaurs on the island, so there goes the crossover possibility with 'Jurassic Park' and 'Raptor Island'. But there is something gigantic in the jungle which is stomping all the trees. (Lindelof: "The record speaketh true. NO dinosaurs. Will you get a look at the 'thing in the trees' in the first 13 [episodes]? I'll only say this -- maybe you'll see it, maybe you won't... but you'll definitely know much more ABOUT it.")
Someday I'll have to track down a copy of that particular episode of 'The New People' and see if they ever resolved that plotline neatly by the end of the hour. Could the spectre of a "thing in the trees" have been connected?
Ultimately, 'Lost' will probably make no connection to 'The New People'. And considering that hardly anybody remembers that earlier series - even though it was created by the legendary Rod Serling! - why should they?
But 'Lost' is already linked to two TV movies.....
Damon Lindelof: "Oceanic Airlines doesn't exist... but I'm finding out MANY movies have used it when bad shit happens on a plane ('Executive Decision' being the one pointed out to me). And we thought we were so original. Sigh."
We'll skip 'Executive Decision'; that's the movie world, the "Cineverse". For our interests, there's 'Code 11-14' (2003) and 'Nowhere To Land' (2000). All of which, combined with 'Lost', convinces me of one thing......
Don't fly Oceanic Airlines!
BCnU!
Toby
(Tubeworld@aol.com)
[My thanks to Ain't It Cool News for the quotes from Damon Lindelof.]
Here's a quickie description from Yahoo! TV:
Forty-eight people have survived a horrific plane crash in the South Pacific -- but they were 1,000 miles off course when it happened, so no one knows where they are.
What's more, one of them was traveling in handcuffs and leg irons (for what crime, we don't know), and the remote island is home to some mysterious things lurking in its interior.
And with Meriadoc Brandybuck in the cast to boot!
Damon Lindelof, one of the show's creators, had this to say in an interview:
"They (the survivors) will NOT name their island... but that's not to say they won't discover it already HAS a name. And it can't possibly be as entertaining as 'Moga Moga'."
As a caretaker for the TV Universe, I'm hoping that when they do find the name of the island, it turns out to be... "Bomano".
No, not Bonomo, you taffy-head! Bomano. It had once been used by the Atomic Energy Commission as an a-bomb test site, so it was complete with buildings, a few cars, provisions, and test dummies.
But it had all been abandoned and mostly forgotten by 1969 when a plane crash brought a group of college students who were returning to America from Southeast Asia. Forced to fend for themselves, the students tried to establish a utopia, but found old prejudices and class differences had followed them into their new world.
The TV Universe lost track of 'The New People' less than a year later, but it's always possible that even after thirty years some of them might still be stranded there on Bomano. But with thirty years having passed, there could be a second generation descended from those original survivors.
In his interview, Lindelof has suggested that we may end up meeting more than just the 48 survivors of this latest crash. ("I will not comment on whether or not we'll be meeting any other human beings on the island who were NOT on the plane. But I will posit this -- Who's to say we haven't already?")
Here's a description of "The Dark Side Of The Island" (episode #9 from 'The New People') which aired November 17, 1969:
"The discovery of a shallow grave gives rise to fears that someone - or something - may inhabit the unexplored side of the island. The fear mushrooms into near hysteria when one of the girls disappears."
Damon Lindelof was on record as saying there are no dinosaurs on the island, so there goes the crossover possibility with 'Jurassic Park' and 'Raptor Island'. But there is something gigantic in the jungle which is stomping all the trees. (Lindelof: "The record speaketh true. NO dinosaurs. Will you get a look at the 'thing in the trees' in the first 13 [episodes]? I'll only say this -- maybe you'll see it, maybe you won't... but you'll definitely know much more ABOUT it.")
Someday I'll have to track down a copy of that particular episode of 'The New People' and see if they ever resolved that plotline neatly by the end of the hour. Could the spectre of a "thing in the trees" have been connected?
Ultimately, 'Lost' will probably make no connection to 'The New People'. And considering that hardly anybody remembers that earlier series - even though it was created by the legendary Rod Serling! - why should they?
But 'Lost' is already linked to two TV movies.....
Damon Lindelof: "Oceanic Airlines doesn't exist... but I'm finding out MANY movies have used it when bad shit happens on a plane ('Executive Decision' being the one pointed out to me). And we thought we were so original. Sigh."
We'll skip 'Executive Decision'; that's the movie world, the "Cineverse". For our interests, there's 'Code 11-14' (2003) and 'Nowhere To Land' (2000). All of which, combined with 'Lost', convinces me of one thing......
Don't fly Oceanic Airlines!
BCnU!
Toby
(Tubeworld@aol.com)
[My thanks to Ain't It Cool News for the quotes from Damon Lindelof.]
Sunday, August 29, 2004
GREENSPAN: FOR WHOM THE BELL RIOTS TOLL
Just in time to put a crimp in the grand old party....
Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan was Friday's leadoff speaker at a two-day conference about challenges that the global economy faces because of rapidly aging populations.
As he did first in February, during testimony before Congress, and several times since, Greenspan issued his warning that the White House and Congress need to come up quickly with a plan to trim the Social Security and Medicare benefits that 77 million baby boomers are scheduled to receive when they retire.
He said haste is critical. There is no way benefits currently promised can be financed by government, he said, and Americans born in the 20 years after World War II need to be put on notice so they can start putting away extra retirement savings during their working years.
Even under the most optimistic economic assumptions of growth and productivity, government resources will be inadequate to provide the baby boom generation with the level of benefits their parents got, he said.
''If we have promised more than our economy has the ability to deliver, ... as I fear we may have, we must recalibrate our public programs so that pending retirees have time to adjust through other channels,'' he said. ''If we delay, the adjustments could be abrupt and painful.''
(from AOL News)
Even though it was probably timed to be lost in the weekend news wasteland, the story will probably get play on a few of the Sunday morning news shows. Even though a majority of Americans would probably never see it, it still becomes a legit part of Toobworld's make-up.
So in the TV Universe, that "abrupt and painful" adjustment will probably climax in this way:
By 2020, the American government, reacting to serious problems of homeless and jobless people, created special Sanctuary Districts in most cities where such people could be cared for.
Unfortunately, while established with benevolent intent, the Sanctuary Districts quickly degenerated into inhumane internment camps where the unemployed, the mentally ill, and other outcasts were imprisoned.
On the September 1, 2024, residents of Sanctuary District A in San Francisco took over an administrative processing centre, holding six centre employees hostage. The residents managed to gain access to Earth's planetary computer network, and many were able to tell their stories of imprisonment to the outside world.
As a result, the American public became aware of the great injustice that had been hidden from them.
The so-called Bell Riots ended when the governor of California ordered federal troops to retake the processing centre by force. Hundreds of sanctuary residents were killed, although none of the hostages were harmed. History records that protest leader Gabriel Bell sacrificed his life to save the hostages. (It is for that reason that the riots are named after him.)
In the wake of the Bell Riots and the senseless death of so many people, American public opinion turned against the Sanctuary Districts. The sanctuaries were abolished as the United States finally began to face serious social problems it had struggled with for over a century. ('Star Trek' - "Past Tense")
As for Greenspan himself, that fiscal boogeyman is 78 and was recently confirmed for a fifth term as the Fed Chairman. So he doesn't have to worry too much about his retirement prospects.
And as for me, I need to renew my Old Glory insurance. For when the robots come for me - and they will! - I want to be prepared!
('Saturday Night Live')
BCnU!
Toby
(Toby@aol.com)
Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan was Friday's leadoff speaker at a two-day conference about challenges that the global economy faces because of rapidly aging populations.
As he did first in February, during testimony before Congress, and several times since, Greenspan issued his warning that the White House and Congress need to come up quickly with a plan to trim the Social Security and Medicare benefits that 77 million baby boomers are scheduled to receive when they retire.
He said haste is critical. There is no way benefits currently promised can be financed by government, he said, and Americans born in the 20 years after World War II need to be put on notice so they can start putting away extra retirement savings during their working years.
Even under the most optimistic economic assumptions of growth and productivity, government resources will be inadequate to provide the baby boom generation with the level of benefits their parents got, he said.
''If we have promised more than our economy has the ability to deliver, ... as I fear we may have, we must recalibrate our public programs so that pending retirees have time to adjust through other channels,'' he said. ''If we delay, the adjustments could be abrupt and painful.''
(from AOL News)
Even though it was probably timed to be lost in the weekend news wasteland, the story will probably get play on a few of the Sunday morning news shows. Even though a majority of Americans would probably never see it, it still becomes a legit part of Toobworld's make-up.
So in the TV Universe, that "abrupt and painful" adjustment will probably climax in this way:
By 2020, the American government, reacting to serious problems of homeless and jobless people, created special Sanctuary Districts in most cities where such people could be cared for.
Unfortunately, while established with benevolent intent, the Sanctuary Districts quickly degenerated into inhumane internment camps where the unemployed, the mentally ill, and other outcasts were imprisoned.
On the September 1, 2024, residents of Sanctuary District A in San Francisco took over an administrative processing centre, holding six centre employees hostage. The residents managed to gain access to Earth's planetary computer network, and many were able to tell their stories of imprisonment to the outside world.
As a result, the American public became aware of the great injustice that had been hidden from them.
The so-called Bell Riots ended when the governor of California ordered federal troops to retake the processing centre by force. Hundreds of sanctuary residents were killed, although none of the hostages were harmed. History records that protest leader Gabriel Bell sacrificed his life to save the hostages. (It is for that reason that the riots are named after him.)
In the wake of the Bell Riots and the senseless death of so many people, American public opinion turned against the Sanctuary Districts. The sanctuaries were abolished as the United States finally began to face serious social problems it had struggled with for over a century. ('Star Trek' - "Past Tense")
As for Greenspan himself, that fiscal boogeyman is 78 and was recently confirmed for a fifth term as the Fed Chairman. So he doesn't have to worry too much about his retirement prospects.
And as for me, I need to renew my Old Glory insurance. For when the robots come for me - and they will! - I want to be prepared!
('Saturday Night Live')
BCnU!
Toby
(Toby@aol.com)
Nip/Tawk
Joan Rivers will be appearing as herself in an episode of 'Nip/Tuck' on FX this coming season. This has to be the best fit of a show's premise to a celebrity guest star since last year's soap opera extravaganza on 'Hope & Faith'.
But it stands to reason that since 'Nip/Tuck' is a show about plastic surgery, it would have a nice, tight fit.
Just like Joan Rivers.......
This will also serve as a link to several other series in which Joan Rivers portrayed herself, and I'm not just referring to her past talk show experiences with 'The Joan Rivers Show' and 'That Show'.
Joan played fictional versions of herself on the following series:
'I'm With Her'
'Curb Your Enthusiasm'
'227'
'America 2Night'
and maybe on an episode of 'Here's Lucy'; the one where Lucy and Joan served on a jury.
And there's also 'Can We Shop?'. So sue me.
The producers of 'Nip/Tuck' should also look into booking Kate Rollason to fly over from England and play herself on the series.
One problem may be that if they did fly her over, they'd probably have to pay for three seats....
Don't know who she is? Then check out this link:
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/101978.html
Homina homina homina!
BCnU!
Toby
(Tubeworld@aol.com)
But it stands to reason that since 'Nip/Tuck' is a show about plastic surgery, it would have a nice, tight fit.
Just like Joan Rivers.......
This will also serve as a link to several other series in which Joan Rivers portrayed herself, and I'm not just referring to her past talk show experiences with 'The Joan Rivers Show' and 'That Show'.
Joan played fictional versions of herself on the following series:
'I'm With Her'
'Curb Your Enthusiasm'
'227'
'America 2Night'
and maybe on an episode of 'Here's Lucy'; the one where Lucy and Joan served on a jury.
And there's also 'Can We Shop?'. So sue me.
The producers of 'Nip/Tuck' should also look into booking Kate Rollason to fly over from England and play herself on the series.
One problem may be that if they did fly her over, they'd probably have to pay for three seats....
Don't know who she is? Then check out this link:
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/101978.html
Homina homina homina!
BCnU!
Toby
(Tubeworld@aol.com)
Saturday, August 28, 2004
Gavel to Gavel Grovel
Having just published an essay about 'Jack & Bobby', I found this interesting little news item about the show's promotion:
~~The WB plans to sprinke the Republican Convention with campaign buttons for its new political drama 'Jack & Bobby'. The show is the story of the young McCallister brothers---one of whom will go on to be president in 2041.
At the GOP convention this week, the WB will be handing out "Bush 2004, McCallister 2040" buttons to Republican delegates, and papering the confab with fliers and placards. Net did it during the Democratic convention in Boston last month, using Kerry instead of Bush. 'Jack & Bobby' also is being promoted with screenings on Capitol Hill.~~
So picture me down on my knees. No, really! I can do it. I just may need a little help getting up afterwards, that's all.
If you know of someone who's a delegate to the convention, or are even one yourself, I'd be eternally - very - ever so! - grateful if you could snare me one of those buttons.
I realize this early in the life of the Toob's World blog, the chances are slim that somebody is out there reading this who has the connections to make this happen.
But as they say in the commercials for the New York Lotter: "Hey! You never know!"
Toby
(Tubeworld@aol.com)
~~The WB plans to sprinke the Republican Convention with campaign buttons for its new political drama 'Jack & Bobby'. The show is the story of the young McCallister brothers---one of whom will go on to be president in 2041.
At the GOP convention this week, the WB will be handing out "Bush 2004, McCallister 2040" buttons to Republican delegates, and papering the confab with fliers and placards. Net did it during the Democratic convention in Boston last month, using Kerry instead of Bush. 'Jack & Bobby' also is being promoted with screenings on Capitol Hill.~~
So picture me down on my knees. No, really! I can do it. I just may need a little help getting up afterwards, that's all.
If you know of someone who's a delegate to the convention, or are even one yourself, I'd be eternally - very - ever so! - grateful if you could snare me one of those buttons.
I realize this early in the life of the Toob's World blog, the chances are slim that somebody is out there reading this who has the connections to make this happen.
But as they say in the commercials for the New York Lotter: "Hey! You never know!"
Toby
(Tubeworld@aol.com)
HAIL TO THE CHIEF(S)!
Thanks to The WB and Entertainment Weekly, I received a preview DVD of the entire first episode for 'Jack & Bobby' (one of the two new series I'm most eager to see).
Here's the official party line about the show:
~~From master storytellers Greg Berlanti (Everwood, Dawson's Creek) and Thomas Schlamme (The West Wing, Ally McBeal) comes a powerful and poignant new drama directed by the incomparable David Nutter (Smallville, Without a Trace).
If "greatness is thrust upon us," as Winston Churchill once said, then it's equally true that those who are destined for greatness are rarely aware of it. Take Jack and Bobby McCallister, for example: two bright young brothers growing up under the watchful eye of their eccentric single mother (Academy Award, Emmy, and Golden Globe winner Christine Lahti).
Her personality is a force of nature destined to shape both of these young men's lives and secure one a place in the history books - as future President of the United States.
Set in present day, with flash-forward interviews of future-President McCallister's White House staffers and first lady, it's a snapshot of a young man being molded to beat the odds and become the mid-century's greatest presidential leader. ~~
As the show's poster states: "In 2041, one of them will be President." (At the end of the debut episode, you find out which one.)
The show's "present" will be in 2049, when former members of President McCallister's staff, his family, and historians are interviewed about him.
Now, 37 years may seem like a long way off - I'm fairly certain I won't be around to see it arrive! - but in the grand scale of the Universe, 2041 will be here before you know it.
Just ask the creators of '1984', 'Space: 1999', and 'The Jetsons (which was set in 2001): perceived futures arrive and the promises (or threats) don't play out. So I'm fairly certain that there will not be a President McCallister; at least, not in our world. And that means there won't be one in Toobworld either.
At least... not on Earth Prime-Time.
But why not place the show in one of the alternate TV Earths? My personal choice would be the TV Earth in which Jed Bartlet is currently President. But it could just as easily be the world of President Palmer, or President Hayes, or any one of Presidents to be found in the 'Slider' worlds found in 'The Outer Limits' and other anthology shows.
The only sticking point to exclude the universe of 'The West Wing' would be if there are any references to our current political situations during the flashback sequences set in the "past" of 2004. If so, it definitely can't be the West Wing World. They broke away from sharing our history and our line of presidential succession since at least the mid-1980s. The divergence may have even occurred as far back as Nixon's term. (Maybe their Tricky Dick never resigned?)
In the West Wing World, which is definitely set in the present (They did an episode in 1999 regarding the coming millennium.), there would have been no Reagan (at least as President, that is), no Bush I or II, no Clinton, probably no Carter as well.
This has been their line of succession so far:
D. Wire Newman
Owen Lassiter
Josiah "Jed" Bartlet
Glenallen Walken
Josiah "Jed" Bartlet
But should 'Jack & Bobby' make reference to say, the election of 2000, or Ralph Nader's campaigns, or to the possibility that Hillary Clinton might one day run, then it's inclusion in the West Wing World has to be nullified.
No matter. The TV Universe is nothing if not flexible. We'll tuck it away in some other dimension. And if that alternate proves untenable, we'll just keep at it until we find its proper berth in the TV multiverse; even if we have to give the McCallister boys their own dimension.
But we'll have to figure it out long before 2041, though. Because sometime between now and then, we'll have at least five more presidents (as seen in an opening montage of photographs in that first episode of 'Jack & Bobby').
Among them will be one black president and one female president. It could be that the black president is Spencer Harvey, who will resign after a corporate scandal. (Although at the same time they showed a photo of the black president, they also showed a photo of a future white president, very downcast and troubled, who was seemingly making a heart-wrenching public announcement. The narration did not make the distinction between the two.)
As for the woman who will one day be the Commander-in-Chief of this particular TV dimension, she appears to be President Hellman - who was the first president to visit Africa after the plague of 2018. (It could be my imagination, but I could have sworn that we saw Jan Hooks as President Hellman in that particular photograph.)
And then there's Paul Sorvino as President Lorio. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Lorio is a seasoned politician who serves as president from 2037-41. So he would be McCallister's immediate predecessor in the job.
So that brings the total up to six presidents before McCallister, and I would like to add the seventh: the president who will succeed Jed Bartlet.
According to recent news sources, these three men will be the leading candidates for the job:
•Alan Vinick (Alan Alda), “a socially moderate and fiscally conservative Republican from California in the same political vein as Arnold Schwazenegger.”
•Matthew Santos (Jimmy Smits, in his first TV series role since leaving NYPD Blue in 1998), “a three-term congressman from Houston who came up by the bootstraps out of the barrio and made something of himself.”
•VP Bob Russell (Gary Cole), whose campaign will be managed by Will Bailey (Josh Malina).
Like I said, 37 years isn't so long off. If 'Jack & Bobby' is to share the same universe as 'The West Wing', then that world can expect a lot of one-termers!
From the pilot episode, here's a quote by the mother of 'Jack & Bobby', Grace McCallister:
"All the best people were geeks. George Bernard Shaw, Bertrand Russell, Kafka, Yours Truly....."
Toby!
Here's the official party line about the show:
~~From master storytellers Greg Berlanti (Everwood, Dawson's Creek) and Thomas Schlamme (The West Wing, Ally McBeal) comes a powerful and poignant new drama directed by the incomparable David Nutter (Smallville, Without a Trace).
If "greatness is thrust upon us," as Winston Churchill once said, then it's equally true that those who are destined for greatness are rarely aware of it. Take Jack and Bobby McCallister, for example: two bright young brothers growing up under the watchful eye of their eccentric single mother (Academy Award, Emmy, and Golden Globe winner Christine Lahti).
Her personality is a force of nature destined to shape both of these young men's lives and secure one a place in the history books - as future President of the United States.
Set in present day, with flash-forward interviews of future-President McCallister's White House staffers and first lady, it's a snapshot of a young man being molded to beat the odds and become the mid-century's greatest presidential leader. ~~
As the show's poster states: "In 2041, one of them will be President." (At the end of the debut episode, you find out which one.)
The show's "present" will be in 2049, when former members of President McCallister's staff, his family, and historians are interviewed about him.
Now, 37 years may seem like a long way off - I'm fairly certain I won't be around to see it arrive! - but in the grand scale of the Universe, 2041 will be here before you know it.
Just ask the creators of '1984', 'Space: 1999', and 'The Jetsons (which was set in 2001): perceived futures arrive and the promises (or threats) don't play out. So I'm fairly certain that there will not be a President McCallister; at least, not in our world. And that means there won't be one in Toobworld either.
At least... not on Earth Prime-Time.
But why not place the show in one of the alternate TV Earths? My personal choice would be the TV Earth in which Jed Bartlet is currently President. But it could just as easily be the world of President Palmer, or President Hayes, or any one of Presidents to be found in the 'Slider' worlds found in 'The Outer Limits' and other anthology shows.
The only sticking point to exclude the universe of 'The West Wing' would be if there are any references to our current political situations during the flashback sequences set in the "past" of 2004. If so, it definitely can't be the West Wing World. They broke away from sharing our history and our line of presidential succession since at least the mid-1980s. The divergence may have even occurred as far back as Nixon's term. (Maybe their Tricky Dick never resigned?)
In the West Wing World, which is definitely set in the present (They did an episode in 1999 regarding the coming millennium.), there would have been no Reagan (at least as President, that is), no Bush I or II, no Clinton, probably no Carter as well.
This has been their line of succession so far:
D. Wire Newman
Owen Lassiter
Josiah "Jed" Bartlet
Glenallen Walken
Josiah "Jed" Bartlet
But should 'Jack & Bobby' make reference to say, the election of 2000, or Ralph Nader's campaigns, or to the possibility that Hillary Clinton might one day run, then it's inclusion in the West Wing World has to be nullified.
No matter. The TV Universe is nothing if not flexible. We'll tuck it away in some other dimension. And if that alternate proves untenable, we'll just keep at it until we find its proper berth in the TV multiverse; even if we have to give the McCallister boys their own dimension.
But we'll have to figure it out long before 2041, though. Because sometime between now and then, we'll have at least five more presidents (as seen in an opening montage of photographs in that first episode of 'Jack & Bobby').
Among them will be one black president and one female president. It could be that the black president is Spencer Harvey, who will resign after a corporate scandal. (Although at the same time they showed a photo of the black president, they also showed a photo of a future white president, very downcast and troubled, who was seemingly making a heart-wrenching public announcement. The narration did not make the distinction between the two.)
As for the woman who will one day be the Commander-in-Chief of this particular TV dimension, she appears to be President Hellman - who was the first president to visit Africa after the plague of 2018. (It could be my imagination, but I could have sworn that we saw Jan Hooks as President Hellman in that particular photograph.)
And then there's Paul Sorvino as President Lorio. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Lorio is a seasoned politician who serves as president from 2037-41. So he would be McCallister's immediate predecessor in the job.
So that brings the total up to six presidents before McCallister, and I would like to add the seventh: the president who will succeed Jed Bartlet.
According to recent news sources, these three men will be the leading candidates for the job:
•Alan Vinick (Alan Alda), “a socially moderate and fiscally conservative Republican from California in the same political vein as Arnold Schwazenegger.”
•Matthew Santos (Jimmy Smits, in his first TV series role since leaving NYPD Blue in 1998), “a three-term congressman from Houston who came up by the bootstraps out of the barrio and made something of himself.”
•VP Bob Russell (Gary Cole), whose campaign will be managed by Will Bailey (Josh Malina).
Like I said, 37 years isn't so long off. If 'Jack & Bobby' is to share the same universe as 'The West Wing', then that world can expect a lot of one-termers!
From the pilot episode, here's a quote by the mother of 'Jack & Bobby', Grace McCallister:
"All the best people were geeks. George Bernard Shaw, Bertrand Russell, Kafka, Yours Truly....."
Toby!
Friday, August 27, 2004
BADA BING ZONK!
Next week on 'Guiding Light', Steve Schirripa will be appearing as himself (Sept. 1 & 2).
This is great for the guy who plays Bobbie Baccala; I'm glad he's getting the exposure to further his career.
But it'll more than likely be bad news for the integrity of the TV Universe.
Schirripa isn't exactly a household name; maybe not even a familiar face to anyone not familiar with his role on HBO's 'The Sopranos'.
So more than likely somebody in the regular cast will have to actually state it for the viewing audience that he plays one of the wise guys on that show.
And both shows should be in the same universe.
I can see it now.... we're heading for a Zonk! (That's what I call such discrepancies.)
Oh well, at least it will tie in to all those other shows in which he's played himself, like 'Lifegame', 'Rendez-View', and when he co-hosted Sharon Osbourne's talk show. But I usually ignore such entries for the meatier, fictional programs. (Although I'm not sure how often he'd be called upon to play himself in a fictional setting.........)
BCnU!
Toby
This is great for the guy who plays Bobbie Baccala; I'm glad he's getting the exposure to further his career.
But it'll more than likely be bad news for the integrity of the TV Universe.
Schirripa isn't exactly a household name; maybe not even a familiar face to anyone not familiar with his role on HBO's 'The Sopranos'.
So more than likely somebody in the regular cast will have to actually state it for the viewing audience that he plays one of the wise guys on that show.
And both shows should be in the same universe.
I can see it now.... we're heading for a Zonk! (That's what I call such discrepancies.)
Oh well, at least it will tie in to all those other shows in which he's played himself, like 'Lifegame', 'Rendez-View', and when he co-hosted Sharon Osbourne's talk show. But I usually ignore such entries for the meatier, fictional programs. (Although I'm not sure how often he'd be called upon to play himself in a fictional setting.........)
BCnU!
Toby
REGIME CHANGE
I am just one of the caretakers of the TV Universe; there are many of us. (And for the next cosmic summoning, I have to bring the crudites.)
But as one of those caretakers, I have my failings; chief among them that I can't possibly see everything on TV. Unlike other kinds of potatoes, this sofa spud only has two eyes. I can't even tape one show while watching another, because I've never been able to master the A/B switch. Dammit, Jim! I'm a TV philosopher, not a TV technician!
The fact that trivial matters of epic scale might be slipping past my notice was brought home yesterday by that article on TV in-jokes which David Bianculli wrote for the NY Daily News.
It was this segment in particular:
"One sharp-eyed Extra detective busted the Sci-Fi Channel's 'Stargate SG-1' for a very statuesque in joke.
Marcia Brin (who didn't give her hometown) watched carefully as guest star William Devane, playing the newly elected US President, admired the statues while walking in the White House his first day.
One that especially caught his eye, and Brin's, was a bust of John F. Kennedy.
"One of the first things that William Devane did as an actor that brought him to national awareness," she writes, "was to play JFK in 'The Missiles of October.'"
That's right - and brother Bobby was played by Martin Sheen, who wound up playing a President himself on 'The West Wing.' "
I like 'Stargate SG-1'; I just don't watch it on a regular basis. (I have yet to catch 'Stargate: Atlantis'.) Every so often I'll watch an episode and easily pick up anything new about its overall cosmology.
But I never caught this little item. And because of it, I have to remove 'Stargate SG-1' and 'Stargate: Atlantis' and the animated 'Stargate: Infinity' from the main TV Universe.
Earth Prime-Time has so many differences from our own Earth Prime. But aside from all of the talking cars, talking horses, talking food, and talking toasters, both the Real World and Toobworld have at least one thing in common: the President of the United States is the same for both universes.
It just has to be this way, otherwise the creators of too many TV shows lose out on either interesting plot points or cheap shot jokes at the expense of the current resident of the Oval Office.
It was George the First who moved into the Springfield neighborhood of 'The Simpsons'; it was the half-brother of Bill who lived next door to 'The Nanny'. And it was W who made an emergency pit stop in the hotel bathroom on 'Whoopi'.
You can tell the time period for any random episode of the long-running 'Law & Order' just by whose portrait hangs in the DAs office.
Jimmy dropped in on 'Angie', First Lady Bette Ford phoned Mayr on 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'; and Nixon pre-empted his most ardent supporter on 'All In The Family'.
(Tricky Dick is still paying for that - 1000 years from now, his head will be residing in Robot Hell. Thanks, 'Futurama'!)
So if 'Stargate SG-1' was to be in the main TV Universe, their POTUS ought to be George W. Bush. But at least since earlier this year, it has been Henry Hayes.
So, off we have to "slide" the show into its own offshoot of the main TV Universe. It's the same thing we had to do for 'The West Wing', and '24', and for three sitcoms which all share the same TV Universe: 'Karen', 'Hail To The Chief', and 'Mr. President'.
But we wouldn't want those 3 'SG-1' shows to be lonely in their own universe, so we've relegated a few other series to keep them company. (We did the same thing for 'The West Wing'. Having 'Mr. Sterling' join that dimension was a gimmee; the show's exec producer said as much. But we've also consigned 'Smallville' and 'James Michener's Space' to the world of Jed Bartlet.)
For the SG-1 Earth, we're also tossing in 3 CBS series which dealt with a recent fictional president:
'Citizen Baines' (The President was played by Charles Haid.)
'The Agency' (We never saw that President, but we did meet his irresponsible half-brother, played by Tom Arnold. I have no problem with the concept of Haid and Arnold sharing DNA.)
and
'The District' (I was sorry to let this go, but the series did do a crossover with 'The Agency' and thus it was marked by "the Company" it kept.)
And since there is such a playful spirit on 'Stargate SG-1', I'm willing to add in a similar series but from the espionage genre - 'Spy Game'. Its President was a World War II vet, like George the First, but he was a "real", roughhewn, Texan cowboy (not some blue-blood wannabe from Connecticut).
And it's nice to know that John Steed ('The Avengers'), Willie Armitage ('Mission: Impossible'), and Bill Maxwell ('The Greatest American Hero') have counterparts in another dimension. (All these characters, although not actually named, appeared in the 'Spy Game' pilot.)
One final note about President Henry Hayes. He has no relation to President Jonathan Hayes who is to be found in 3 TV movies. ('First Daughter', 'First Shot', and 'First Target')
President Jonathan Hayes is the current POTUS in a long line of Chief Executives to be found in Earth Prime-Time-MOW. I'll be writing more about that line of succession when we get closer to the November election... at which time I hope the current role will be recast..
BCnU!
Toby
(Couch Potato, Not POTUS)
But as one of those caretakers, I have my failings; chief among them that I can't possibly see everything on TV. Unlike other kinds of potatoes, this sofa spud only has two eyes. I can't even tape one show while watching another, because I've never been able to master the A/B switch. Dammit, Jim! I'm a TV philosopher, not a TV technician!
The fact that trivial matters of epic scale might be slipping past my notice was brought home yesterday by that article on TV in-jokes which David Bianculli wrote for the NY Daily News.
It was this segment in particular:
"One sharp-eyed Extra detective busted the Sci-Fi Channel's 'Stargate SG-1' for a very statuesque in joke.
Marcia Brin (who didn't give her hometown) watched carefully as guest star William Devane, playing the newly elected US President, admired the statues while walking in the White House his first day.
One that especially caught his eye, and Brin's, was a bust of John F. Kennedy.
"One of the first things that William Devane did as an actor that brought him to national awareness," she writes, "was to play JFK in 'The Missiles of October.'"
That's right - and brother Bobby was played by Martin Sheen, who wound up playing a President himself on 'The West Wing.' "
I like 'Stargate SG-1'; I just don't watch it on a regular basis. (I have yet to catch 'Stargate: Atlantis'.) Every so often I'll watch an episode and easily pick up anything new about its overall cosmology.
But I never caught this little item. And because of it, I have to remove 'Stargate SG-1' and 'Stargate: Atlantis' and the animated 'Stargate: Infinity' from the main TV Universe.
Earth Prime-Time has so many differences from our own Earth Prime. But aside from all of the talking cars, talking horses, talking food, and talking toasters, both the Real World and Toobworld have at least one thing in common: the President of the United States is the same for both universes.
It just has to be this way, otherwise the creators of too many TV shows lose out on either interesting plot points or cheap shot jokes at the expense of the current resident of the Oval Office.
It was George the First who moved into the Springfield neighborhood of 'The Simpsons'; it was the half-brother of Bill who lived next door to 'The Nanny'. And it was W who made an emergency pit stop in the hotel bathroom on 'Whoopi'.
You can tell the time period for any random episode of the long-running 'Law & Order' just by whose portrait hangs in the DAs office.
Jimmy dropped in on 'Angie', First Lady Bette Ford phoned Mayr on 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'; and Nixon pre-empted his most ardent supporter on 'All In The Family'.
(Tricky Dick is still paying for that - 1000 years from now, his head will be residing in Robot Hell. Thanks, 'Futurama'!)
So if 'Stargate SG-1' was to be in the main TV Universe, their POTUS ought to be George W. Bush. But at least since earlier this year, it has been Henry Hayes.
So, off we have to "slide" the show into its own offshoot of the main TV Universe. It's the same thing we had to do for 'The West Wing', and '24', and for three sitcoms which all share the same TV Universe: 'Karen', 'Hail To The Chief', and 'Mr. President'.
But we wouldn't want those 3 'SG-1' shows to be lonely in their own universe, so we've relegated a few other series to keep them company. (We did the same thing for 'The West Wing'. Having 'Mr. Sterling' join that dimension was a gimmee; the show's exec producer said as much. But we've also consigned 'Smallville' and 'James Michener's Space' to the world of Jed Bartlet.)
For the SG-1 Earth, we're also tossing in 3 CBS series which dealt with a recent fictional president:
'Citizen Baines' (The President was played by Charles Haid.)
'The Agency' (We never saw that President, but we did meet his irresponsible half-brother, played by Tom Arnold. I have no problem with the concept of Haid and Arnold sharing DNA.)
and
'The District' (I was sorry to let this go, but the series did do a crossover with 'The Agency' and thus it was marked by "the Company" it kept.)
And since there is such a playful spirit on 'Stargate SG-1', I'm willing to add in a similar series but from the espionage genre - 'Spy Game'. Its President was a World War II vet, like George the First, but he was a "real", roughhewn, Texan cowboy (not some blue-blood wannabe from Connecticut).
And it's nice to know that John Steed ('The Avengers'), Willie Armitage ('Mission: Impossible'), and Bill Maxwell ('The Greatest American Hero') have counterparts in another dimension. (All these characters, although not actually named, appeared in the 'Spy Game' pilot.)
One final note about President Henry Hayes. He has no relation to President Jonathan Hayes who is to be found in 3 TV movies. ('First Daughter', 'First Shot', and 'First Target')
President Jonathan Hayes is the current POTUS in a long line of Chief Executives to be found in Earth Prime-Time-MOW. I'll be writing more about that line of succession when we get closer to the November election... at which time I hope the current role will be recast..
BCnU!
Toby
(Couch Potato, Not POTUS)
Thursday, August 26, 2004
EXTRA! EXTRA!
FROM THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS (8/26/04):
(by David Bianculli)
"When the Olympics are over Monday, NBC's fall season will start - and so will a new wave of Extras from new first-run shows.
Extras, of course, are jokes producers bury within shows that are caught by eagle-eyed Daily News readers.
Meanwhile, to empty the current mailbag, here are some of the best Extras that have trickled in the last few months, since last season ended.
::SNIPT!::
Also from "Monk," Manhattan's Toby O'Brien - perhaps the all-time Extras champ - took the entire hour to catch what he thought was one long Extra joke.
For the episode called "Mr. Monk and the Employee of the Month," the setting was a store called Mega-Mart.
"With the vests emblazoned with 'May I help you?' and the fact that they sold guns and ammo, the store was a thinly disguised version of Wal-Mart," O'Brien writes.
"So I found it funny that, as the episode ended, the announcer said, '"Monk" has been brought to you by Wal-Mart.' I'm not so sure Wal-Mart knew they were sponsoring that particular episode, or if they were amused by the connection, but I sure found it funny!"
\/
[_]
Yep! That's me, folks!
For the full article, check out:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/story/225712p-193867c.html
(by David Bianculli)
"When the Olympics are over Monday, NBC's fall season will start - and so will a new wave of Extras from new first-run shows.
Extras, of course, are jokes producers bury within shows that are caught by eagle-eyed Daily News readers.
Meanwhile, to empty the current mailbag, here are some of the best Extras that have trickled in the last few months, since last season ended.
::SNIPT!::
Also from "Monk," Manhattan's Toby O'Brien - perhaps the all-time Extras champ - took the entire hour to catch what he thought was one long Extra joke.
For the episode called "Mr. Monk and the Employee of the Month," the setting was a store called Mega-Mart.
"With the vests emblazoned with 'May I help you?' and the fact that they sold guns and ammo, the store was a thinly disguised version of Wal-Mart," O'Brien writes.
"So I found it funny that, as the episode ended, the announcer said, '"Monk" has been brought to you by Wal-Mart.' I'm not so sure Wal-Mart knew they were sponsoring that particular episode, or if they were amused by the connection, but I sure found it funny!"
\/
[_]
Yep! That's me, folks!
For the full article, check out:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/story/225712p-193867c.html
Staying in Kallang Bahru/Hougang? Need $100?
Oh dear ...
He really needs the sex you know ...
Do you live in Hougang or Kallang Bahru? If you need the $100 desperately, why not shag him? Just a few minutes of your time, and it might even feel good ...
WHAT? You are a guy? Never mind la, ask Lewis if he can accept your chaste ass. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.
Be sure to use a condom!!! Dear Lewis, do not blame me! I was merely giving you more choices you see ...
Careful of VD! Herpes is incurable!
He really needs the sex you know ...
Do you live in Hougang or Kallang Bahru? If you need the $100 desperately, why not shag him? Just a few minutes of your time, and it might even feel good ...
WHAT? You are a guy? Never mind la, ask Lewis if he can accept your chaste ass. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.
Be sure to use a condom!!! Dear Lewis, do not blame me! I was merely giving you more choices you see ...
Careful of VD! Herpes is incurable!
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
ROUNDING UP THE POSSE
Of all the series from this past season, it's 'Entourage' on HBO which will probably do the most towards expanding the TV Universe. Most of its contribution is coming from all of the celebrities appearing as themselves who can then link to other shows in which they appeared as themselves (but not as other characters).
My crossover comrade, Thom Holbrooke, the "Grand Poobala" of the Crossover/Spinoffs page (http://www.poobala.com/crossoverlist.html), seems to dismiss these cameos as casting stunts and not as legitimate links to other TV shows. But as for my more expansive vision of the TV Universe, these celebs are fictional versions of themselves, what I call "tele-versions". And they're welcome under the big tent of Toobworld.
Stars like Milton Berle ('Here's Lucy', 'CHiPs'), George Burns ('Alice', 'Wendy And Me'), and Sammy Davis, Jr. ('I Dream Of Jeannie', 'All In The Family') are so much larger than life, it's hard to look past that and see them as any other fictional characters.
Jack Benny was such an indelible impression with his fictional version - with the violin, the car, the vault, his age, and his overall stinginess - that I wouldn't be surprised if there are still people out there who believe that really was him. (Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if there are even more people nowadays who don't even know who he was. As somebody once stated, we are a nation of amnesiacs......)
At any rate, 'Entourage' averages about two celebrity cameos per episode, featuring boldfaced-type names from Jessica Alba to Mark Wahlberg (one of the creative forces behind the show). And each of them has the potential to connect the dots to some other show. There are also fictional references to other celebrities who don't appear (like when Ari Gold the agent mentions sharing sake with Sophia Coppola in Tokyo while she was filming 'Lost In Translation'.)
Two of the biggest links came from Jimmy Kimmel and Gary Busey. Since the concept of Toobworld covers all kinds of shows, then variety programs, talk shows, and reality shows are just as viable as the dramas and sitcoms. Now normally, I tend to ignore talk shows and sketch comedies as qualifiers if the celeb in question is just a guest. But when that celeb is the actual host or star, that's a talking horse of a different color.
So with Jimmy Kimmel, 'Entourage' makes the connection to 'The Man Show' and with 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show'.
As for Gary Busey, you can't get better validation than a reality series with your name in the title ('I'm With Busey')!
I've already removed 'Entourage' from my list of crossovers I'd like to see because apparently HBO was hip to the same possibility. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Jeremy Piven (who plays Ari Gold) said:
"Larry David plays himself as one of my clients, and that was one of the best days of my life. Going toe-to-toe with that freak was fantastic."
Some fudging and obfuscating (fancy fudging) may be needed if Larry David or Ari refers to 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' as an actual TV show. But I've packed away that same kind of fudge (sorry about that) when it came to appearances by Jerry Seinfeld in the post-'Seinfeld' era. (Unfortunately, with his three former co-stars, I was not able to remain the master of my domain. I'm still stuck for a splainin as to how they could refer to 'Seinfeld' as a fictional series on 'The Larry Sanders Show' when both series should be in the same universe.)
But as for that 'Entourage'/'Curb Your Enthusiasm' crossover, I hope Larry David's cameo can be kept within the bounds. HBO must know it'll be good publicity and good business. Hell, it has to be a no-brainer if I thought of it!
There's another strong possibility for a cross-over using celebrities; in fact, the names of these particular actors have already been invoked on the show:
Don Swayze
Frank Stallone
Joey Travolta
Each of them appeared on a recurring basis on 'Movie Stars'. They were the poker buddies of Todd Hardin, who was an actor struggling in the shadows of his more famous brother and sister-in-law, Reese Hardin and Jacey Watts.
The same situation occurs in 'Entourage' with Johnny Drama tagging along after Vince Chase, his younger half-brother and a star on the rise.
'Entourage' is also good for universal expansion with the fictional movies and TV shows it's come up with:
'Head On' starring Vince Chase and Jessica Alba
'Queens Boulevard' - Vince's next project
'Mattahorn' - a 'Die Hard in Disneyland' that Vince turned down but now to be made with Colin Farrell
and
'Viking Quest' - a show cancelled seven years before but finding new fans via reruns on the Sci-Fi channel (Johnny Drama was one of its stars)
'Entourage' has already been renewed for a second season, so we're sure to find even more links to other TV shows thanks to all of those cameo appearances as time goes on.........
My crossover comrade, Thom Holbrooke, the "Grand Poobala" of the Crossover/Spinoffs page (http://www.poobala.com/crossoverlist.html), seems to dismiss these cameos as casting stunts and not as legitimate links to other TV shows. But as for my more expansive vision of the TV Universe, these celebs are fictional versions of themselves, what I call "tele-versions". And they're welcome under the big tent of Toobworld.
Stars like Milton Berle ('Here's Lucy', 'CHiPs'), George Burns ('Alice', 'Wendy And Me'), and Sammy Davis, Jr. ('I Dream Of Jeannie', 'All In The Family') are so much larger than life, it's hard to look past that and see them as any other fictional characters.
Jack Benny was such an indelible impression with his fictional version - with the violin, the car, the vault, his age, and his overall stinginess - that I wouldn't be surprised if there are still people out there who believe that really was him. (Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if there are even more people nowadays who don't even know who he was. As somebody once stated, we are a nation of amnesiacs......)
At any rate, 'Entourage' averages about two celebrity cameos per episode, featuring boldfaced-type names from Jessica Alba to Mark Wahlberg (one of the creative forces behind the show). And each of them has the potential to connect the dots to some other show. There are also fictional references to other celebrities who don't appear (like when Ari Gold the agent mentions sharing sake with Sophia Coppola in Tokyo while she was filming 'Lost In Translation'.)
Two of the biggest links came from Jimmy Kimmel and Gary Busey. Since the concept of Toobworld covers all kinds of shows, then variety programs, talk shows, and reality shows are just as viable as the dramas and sitcoms. Now normally, I tend to ignore talk shows and sketch comedies as qualifiers if the celeb in question is just a guest. But when that celeb is the actual host or star, that's a talking horse of a different color.
So with Jimmy Kimmel, 'Entourage' makes the connection to 'The Man Show' and with 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show'.
As for Gary Busey, you can't get better validation than a reality series with your name in the title ('I'm With Busey')!
I've already removed 'Entourage' from my list of crossovers I'd like to see because apparently HBO was hip to the same possibility. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Jeremy Piven (who plays Ari Gold) said:
"Larry David plays himself as one of my clients, and that was one of the best days of my life. Going toe-to-toe with that freak was fantastic."
Some fudging and obfuscating (fancy fudging) may be needed if Larry David or Ari refers to 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' as an actual TV show. But I've packed away that same kind of fudge (sorry about that) when it came to appearances by Jerry Seinfeld in the post-'Seinfeld' era. (Unfortunately, with his three former co-stars, I was not able to remain the master of my domain. I'm still stuck for a splainin as to how they could refer to 'Seinfeld' as a fictional series on 'The Larry Sanders Show' when both series should be in the same universe.)
But as for that 'Entourage'/'Curb Your Enthusiasm' crossover, I hope Larry David's cameo can be kept within the bounds. HBO must know it'll be good publicity and good business. Hell, it has to be a no-brainer if I thought of it!
There's another strong possibility for a cross-over using celebrities; in fact, the names of these particular actors have already been invoked on the show:
Don Swayze
Frank Stallone
Joey Travolta
Each of them appeared on a recurring basis on 'Movie Stars'. They were the poker buddies of Todd Hardin, who was an actor struggling in the shadows of his more famous brother and sister-in-law, Reese Hardin and Jacey Watts.
The same situation occurs in 'Entourage' with Johnny Drama tagging along after Vince Chase, his younger half-brother and a star on the rise.
'Entourage' is also good for universal expansion with the fictional movies and TV shows it's come up with:
'Head On' starring Vince Chase and Jessica Alba
'Queens Boulevard' - Vince's next project
'Mattahorn' - a 'Die Hard in Disneyland' that Vince turned down but now to be made with Colin Farrell
and
'Viking Quest' - a show cancelled seven years before but finding new fans via reruns on the Sci-Fi channel (Johnny Drama was one of its stars)
'Entourage' has already been renewed for a second season, so we're sure to find even more links to other TV shows thanks to all of those cameo appearances as time goes on.........
BORN TO RE-RUN
Back in 1997, I started a little website on AOL for the Tubeworld Dynamic, my vision of Life within the harsh realm of TV's "inner reality". It ran for five years until AOL finally closed the door on my use of AOLPress.
So here I am again, still with my desire to share my "telly visions" with the REAL WORLD. But before I go traipsing off to surf this particular corner of TV Land, allow me to share with you this early essay I wrote on the subject of Toobworld, back when I was first exploring the interface between TV and the PC.
So consider this somewhat of a rerun......
\/
[_]
I look at the TV Universe as one big jigsaw puzzle and I'm trying to get all the pieces to fit together. I consider this to be a form of "Tele-Literacy" research - TV critic David Bianculli coined that term for the treatment of Television as a serious subject.
I'm not the 'Creator' of Toobworld, per se: there are thousands of Creators out there who are adding new pieces to the Television Jigsaw Puzzle everyday.
I see myself more as a caretaker and a genealogist; tracking down all the puzzle pieces to keep Toobworld a cohesive whole. I'm certainly not the first to come up with this idea of a unified universe where everything on Television is connected to each other, no matter how different the show's premise. The TV writers themselves engage in this idea. And they have been for at least the last twenty years; ever since the kids who grew up watching TV started making TV shows themselves.
Alan Sepinwall wrote an article about the same thing in the New Jersey paper The Star-Ledger. He even touched on a premise that I hold dear - that 'St. Elsewhere' is the center of the TV Universe; every TV show sooner or later connects to it.
And my favorite TV critic - David Bianculli of The New York Daily News (author of "Tele-Literacy" and "The Dictionary of Tele-Literacy") wrote an article once with Cross-overs he'd like to see. (Here in Toobworld, that's what we call 'Wild Cards'.)
Nick at Nite/TV Land coined the perfect term for my avocation - I am aTelevisiologist Without Portfolio.
Tubeworld is basically Earth. Not our Earth, but an Earth set in an alternate universe where everything that happens on Television actually takes place.
For example, - slam that tube of cookie dough against the edge of the counter.
Lift the cover to the toilet tank.
Nothing happened, right? But on Toobworld, a doughboy would have popped out of the tube. There would have been a little man sailing in the tank.
Toobworld is TV Land, [a phrase long in existence before Nick at Nite co-opted it. Just check out 'The Magnificent Seven' by The Clash! ] It is constantly being re-written, edited, embellished, and colorized.
Every time a new show or mini-series, - or even a new commercial! - debuts on the air, "The Powers That Be" fit it into the Master Sked of Toobworld, complete with a backstory, to tie it into the other TV shows.Some of these connections are obvious, - due to sequels, 'prequels', and to "Very Special" crossover episodes.
For example, 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show' has three separate shows branching out from hers - 'Rhoda', 'Phyllis', and 'Lou Grant'. And 'All In The Family' begot sequels such as 'Maude', 'The Jeffersons', 'Gloria', 'Archie Bunker's Place', and '704 Hauser', - but also sequels to its sequels! ['Good Times' from 'Maude', and 'Checking In' from 'The Jeffersons'!]
As for crossover episodes that tie the TV Universe together, a good example would be the crossover between 'Magnum, P.I.' and 'Murder, She Wrote'. Or it could be a "Special Guest Appearance" - like Carl Reiner re-creating the legendary Alan Brady of 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' for an episode of 'Mad About You' many years later.
But there are others whose links are disguised as in-jokes. [Patrick Macnee and Peter Lupus as retired agents in the premiere episode of 'Spy Game', let's say. They were not named, but who else could they be but top professionals John Steed of 'The Avengers' and Willy Armitage of 'Mission: Impossible' respectively?]
Some shows are connected by more tenuous links....... For example, 'Dynasty' is connected to 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show' and even 'Batman'!!!!
Here's how it works.... Former President and Mrs. Ford showed up on 'Dynasty', and Betty Ford appeared on 'MTM' as well. In the very first episode of 'Batman', the Riddler was plotting to steal a rare collection of Moldavian stamps. Prince Michael of Moldavia was engaged to marry Amanda Carrington of 'Dynasty'.
See how it works? Now, I used to have 'Roseanne' tied into this as well. This past year, her sister Jackie was romanced by another prince of the Moldavian realm. But then it turned out that most of that last season of the series was nothing more than fantasies scripted by Roseanne Conner after the death of her husband Dan. Even her encounter with Edina Monsoon and Patsy Stone was made up and that destroyed my chance to bring 'Absolutely Fabulous' into the mix.
(Grrrrrrrr! Thanks a lot, Roseanne!)
And then there are the connections that can only be guessed at. I call these the "Wild Cards".
Here are two examples.......
"The Nardo Factor"
This could tie together 'Taxi', 'The Bob Newhart Show', 'Sonny Spoon', and 'One Life To Live'.
Could it be that Michelle Nardo in Dr. Hartley's therapy group was related to Elaine Nardo's ex-husband?
And why did Elaine divorce him anyway? Was it possible that he was a gangster? There was a bad guy in 'Sonny Spoon' named Nardo and he was played by Dan Lauria. Lauria also played a thug named Gus on 'One Life To Live'.
So why couldn't his full name be Gus Nardo?Example #2 -
"Life Goes On [And On....]"
On Toobworld, reincarnation is a reality. We all come back in the second life sooner or later - everybody knows that. Dave Crabtree's mother dear came back as a car, as a matter of fact. And the Minbari believe that their souls are reborn in the humans of Earth.
It's my particular whimsy to think that in the Television Universe, the soul of Claudius I, - the stuttering Emperor who was a lone voice of sanity in the insane world of the First Century, - returned to the mortal life of the 20th Century. But Rome was no longer his kind of town, - Chicago was. Now he was a mild-mannered psychologist whose buttoned-down mind kept him afloat in the lunacy of modern society. 'Tis pity the stutter followed him through the centuries...... ['I, Claudius' and 'The Bob Newhart Show']
And with a bit of Minbari mumbo-jumbo, I think we would find out that Lennier, the Minbari diplomat, houses the soul of Will Robinson, a human explorer of an earlier time. ['Babylon 5' and 'Lost In Space']
Commercials can get into the act as well. Back in the fifties, Perry White and Clark Kent were seen enjoying breakfast cereal in one. And check out the "retro-mercials" you'll find on Nick At Nite's TV Land. Josephine the Plumber can be found in the home of a character played by Louise Lasser, Louise Lasser. So why couldn't that be the Hartman kitchen in Fernwood, before they moved to Bratner Avenue? [Comet Cleanser commercials and 'Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman']
The explanation for the different hairstyles for Louise Lasser? Easy. Those strange braids seen in the later series were the first sign of her mental breakdown.......
Hey, if a horse can talk on Toobworld, then anything is possible. Of course, of course.
What Is Toobworld's Background?
"The world we live in is composed of impressions received through thesenses. But there is an infinity of possible worlds, and if the senses can be attuned to receive a different series of impressions, we should invariably find ourselves living in a different world." ["The Complete Incompleat Enchanter" by Fletcher Pratt and L. Sprague deCamp]
So here I am again, still with my desire to share my "telly visions" with the REAL WORLD. But before I go traipsing off to surf this particular corner of TV Land, allow me to share with you this early essay I wrote on the subject of Toobworld, back when I was first exploring the interface between TV and the PC.
So consider this somewhat of a rerun......
\/
[_]
I look at the TV Universe as one big jigsaw puzzle and I'm trying to get all the pieces to fit together. I consider this to be a form of "Tele-Literacy" research - TV critic David Bianculli coined that term for the treatment of Television as a serious subject.
I'm not the 'Creator' of Toobworld, per se: there are thousands of Creators out there who are adding new pieces to the Television Jigsaw Puzzle everyday.
I see myself more as a caretaker and a genealogist; tracking down all the puzzle pieces to keep Toobworld a cohesive whole. I'm certainly not the first to come up with this idea of a unified universe where everything on Television is connected to each other, no matter how different the show's premise. The TV writers themselves engage in this idea. And they have been for at least the last twenty years; ever since the kids who grew up watching TV started making TV shows themselves.
Alan Sepinwall wrote an article about the same thing in the New Jersey paper The Star-Ledger. He even touched on a premise that I hold dear - that 'St. Elsewhere' is the center of the TV Universe; every TV show sooner or later connects to it.
And my favorite TV critic - David Bianculli of The New York Daily News (author of "Tele-Literacy" and "The Dictionary of Tele-Literacy") wrote an article once with Cross-overs he'd like to see. (Here in Toobworld, that's what we call 'Wild Cards'.)
Nick at Nite/TV Land coined the perfect term for my avocation - I am aTelevisiologist Without Portfolio.
"You watch too many detective shows."
Thomas Magnum
'Magnum, P.I.'
What is Toobworld?Tubeworld is basically Earth. Not our Earth, but an Earth set in an alternate universe where everything that happens on Television actually takes place.
For example, - slam that tube of cookie dough against the edge of the counter.
Lift the cover to the toilet tank.
Nothing happened, right? But on Toobworld, a doughboy would have popped out of the tube. There would have been a little man sailing in the tank.
Toobworld is TV Land, [a phrase long in existence before Nick at Nite co-opted it. Just check out 'The Magnificent Seven' by The Clash! ] It is constantly being re-written, edited, embellished, and colorized.
Every time a new show or mini-series, - or even a new commercial! - debuts on the air, "The Powers That Be" fit it into the Master Sked of Toobworld, complete with a backstory, to tie it into the other TV shows.Some of these connections are obvious, - due to sequels, 'prequels', and to "Very Special" crossover episodes.
For example, 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show' has three separate shows branching out from hers - 'Rhoda', 'Phyllis', and 'Lou Grant'. And 'All In The Family' begot sequels such as 'Maude', 'The Jeffersons', 'Gloria', 'Archie Bunker's Place', and '704 Hauser', - but also sequels to its sequels! ['Good Times' from 'Maude', and 'Checking In' from 'The Jeffersons'!]
As for crossover episodes that tie the TV Universe together, a good example would be the crossover between 'Magnum, P.I.' and 'Murder, She Wrote'. Or it could be a "Special Guest Appearance" - like Carl Reiner re-creating the legendary Alan Brady of 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' for an episode of 'Mad About You' many years later.
But there are others whose links are disguised as in-jokes. [Patrick Macnee and Peter Lupus as retired agents in the premiere episode of 'Spy Game', let's say. They were not named, but who else could they be but top professionals John Steed of 'The Avengers' and Willy Armitage of 'Mission: Impossible' respectively?]
Some shows are connected by more tenuous links....... For example, 'Dynasty' is connected to 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show' and even 'Batman'!!!!
Here's how it works.... Former President and Mrs. Ford showed up on 'Dynasty', and Betty Ford appeared on 'MTM' as well. In the very first episode of 'Batman', the Riddler was plotting to steal a rare collection of Moldavian stamps. Prince Michael of Moldavia was engaged to marry Amanda Carrington of 'Dynasty'.
See how it works? Now, I used to have 'Roseanne' tied into this as well. This past year, her sister Jackie was romanced by another prince of the Moldavian realm. But then it turned out that most of that last season of the series was nothing more than fantasies scripted by Roseanne Conner after the death of her husband Dan. Even her encounter with Edina Monsoon and Patsy Stone was made up and that destroyed my chance to bring 'Absolutely Fabulous' into the mix.
(Grrrrrrrr! Thanks a lot, Roseanne!)
And then there are the connections that can only be guessed at. I call these the "Wild Cards".
Here are two examples.......
"The Nardo Factor"
This could tie together 'Taxi', 'The Bob Newhart Show', 'Sonny Spoon', and 'One Life To Live'.
Could it be that Michelle Nardo in Dr. Hartley's therapy group was related to Elaine Nardo's ex-husband?
And why did Elaine divorce him anyway? Was it possible that he was a gangster? There was a bad guy in 'Sonny Spoon' named Nardo and he was played by Dan Lauria. Lauria also played a thug named Gus on 'One Life To Live'.
So why couldn't his full name be Gus Nardo?Example #2 -
"Life Goes On [And On....]"
On Toobworld, reincarnation is a reality. We all come back in the second life sooner or later - everybody knows that. Dave Crabtree's mother dear came back as a car, as a matter of fact. And the Minbari believe that their souls are reborn in the humans of Earth.
It's my particular whimsy to think that in the Television Universe, the soul of Claudius I, - the stuttering Emperor who was a lone voice of sanity in the insane world of the First Century, - returned to the mortal life of the 20th Century. But Rome was no longer his kind of town, - Chicago was. Now he was a mild-mannered psychologist whose buttoned-down mind kept him afloat in the lunacy of modern society. 'Tis pity the stutter followed him through the centuries...... ['I, Claudius' and 'The Bob Newhart Show']
And with a bit of Minbari mumbo-jumbo, I think we would find out that Lennier, the Minbari diplomat, houses the soul of Will Robinson, a human explorer of an earlier time. ['Babylon 5' and 'Lost In Space']
Commercials can get into the act as well. Back in the fifties, Perry White and Clark Kent were seen enjoying breakfast cereal in one. And check out the "retro-mercials" you'll find on Nick At Nite's TV Land. Josephine the Plumber can be found in the home of a character played by Louise Lasser, Louise Lasser. So why couldn't that be the Hartman kitchen in Fernwood, before they moved to Bratner Avenue? [Comet Cleanser commercials and 'Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman']
The explanation for the different hairstyles for Louise Lasser? Easy. Those strange braids seen in the later series were the first sign of her mental breakdown.......
Hey, if a horse can talk on Toobworld, then anything is possible. Of course, of course.
"I'm showing all the classic symptoms of TV Overload Psychosis.
If I don't do something fast,
My signals may wind up permanently scrambled."
Clarissa Darling
"Clarissa Explains It All"
What Is Toobworld's Background?
Toobworld is the fantasy universe which I'm using as the setting for a book - "Toobworld: The Tale Of A Fateful Trip".
The idea had many inspirations. First there was the Harold Shea pulp fiction by Fletcher Pratt and L. Sprague deCamp. Their 'hero' traveled to worlds based on Classic Mythology.
The basic premise of these stories in 'Unknown' magazine was stated by a character named Chalmers -
"The world we live in is composed of impressions received through thesenses. But there is an infinity of possible worlds, and if the senses can be attuned to receive a different series of impressions, we should invariably find ourselves living in a different world." ["The Complete Incompleat Enchanter" by Fletcher Pratt and L. Sprague deCamp]
Marvin Kaye also used this motif in "The Magic Umbrella". And although I haven't read his trilogy, Craig Shaw Gardner created a world of B-movies known as the Cineverse.
Another inspiration for the book is "Suspects" by David Thomson, which was a series of biographical sketches of film noir characters whose lives eventually become linked together.
And then there is the work of Joseph Campbell, as he sought the links between the various world mythologies. And that's how I came to view the story cliches in Television - as the conventions of Myth.
[If a pregnant woman gets on the elevator, she will go into labor as soon as it breaks down. All phone numbers after 1970 begin with the prefix '555'. Wherever Jessica Fletcher goes, there's a murder!]
Thus, in my TV Universe, if it was created for television, [but not necessarily broadcast], it would become fabric in the Toobworld quilt. [TV-movies would be included; theatrical releases shown on TV would not - they're from a different universe altogether.]
Here's a few terms I've coined for use in Toobworld -
Earth Prime-Time - Most of the time when I'm reading sci-fi stories and comic books about multiple universes, our Earth is considered "Earth Prime". Parallel Earths would be classified as Earth A, Earth B, Earth 2, Earth 3, etc. Well, Toobworld would be identified as Earth Prime-Time as opposed to Earth Prime.
Serlinguist - a person who is able to address the Real World through thedimensional barriers. I coined the term in honor of one of the greatest in this field - Rod Serling, host and creator of 'The Twilight Zone'. Others with this ability include George Burns, Garry Shandling, the Crypt-Keeper, newscasters, talk show hosts, commercial spokespeople, aerobics instructors and Finger Man.
Tele-version - the Television Universe counterpart to someone from the Real World. Everybody has a tele-version and thanks to 'America's Funniest Home Videos', your tele-version is probably getting hit in the crotch by a rake right now.
Trueniverse - as Blueboy once said on 'Dragnet': "Reality, man! Reality!" This is the world where I (and supposedly you) reside.
\/
[_]
Since then, I rewrote that particular essay and now another version still resides on what's left of my old AOL website. If you want to read and compare that one, (PLUS! You can see what I look like!), just visit this link: http://members.aol.com/Tubeworld/televersion.html.
BCnU!
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Open contempt
BAH! This is getting serious. I had another dire warning from a friend that my blog would eventually cause me all my friends (who treasure privacy anyway), and there is too much truth in his statement to whistle and ignore, so this eventually caused me to lost whatever interest and inspiration I had to write a blog entry.
Thus ends this blog entry.
HA! Kidding la. But seriously speaking, I had absolutely nothing to blog about recently (nothing to do with the dire warning). Sure, plenty of people (not friends) made me angry, but I can't write about them because ... what are the chances that they would not read it? Slightly less than zero.
So frustrating.
Since I had nothing to blog about, I almost decided on making Eddy the Engineer meet another animal crossing the road with him (A tibetian llama this time) but well ... I couldn't think of anything funny/interesting to say even about that.
I shall thus hide my non-inspired blog entry with a silly movie review - which could pass off as an informative and educational blog entry.
Regular readers would know I do not usually write movie reviews unless they REALLY piss me off like THE HULK (giant pistachio nut hopping around) or SUICIDE CLUB (Jap kids dying of no reason), or was really good like the recently mentioned Notebook.
VOILA! Along came Open Waters which totally fits the criteria of ... PISSING ME OFF.
This is supposed to be a movie about a couple who is trapped in the open water - with sharks.
Sure, this will have "spoilers", but I do not believe my blog entry is any less interesting than the movie, so surely reading this will be a better deal than spending 1.5 hours watching that show - plus this site is free for your reading and its author is also extremely gorgeous with a gold belly piercing.
People who have gold belly piercings are superior to the rest of the world
Moving swiftly back to the topic of the movie (quit trying to scrutinize if I have belly hairs - coz I am gonna tell you now that I do, though they are cleverly hidden under the layers of skin-coloured air-brushing), I suggest that instead of bringing your girlfriend to watch Open Waters in the hope of her hugging you tight coz she is really scared of the sharks; while you rejoice in the fact that u can slightly feel her breasts on your chest, you could go read 1 year and 4 months worth of Xiaxue archives instead.
If nothing goes wrong, this could give you 5 hours of pure enjoyment.
It is also predicted that you guys will have some arguments i.e. about how all girls hate Michelle Saram while guys love her, but a little squabble is always good for relationship-strengthening. MICHELLE SARAM SUCKKKKKKKKS! (FIGHT!)
Back to Open Waters.
Wong the Lawyer got free premiere tickets to the movie, and boy was it a bad thing. (Not that it's your fault at all Wong! *patronising smile*)
The first scene of the show was this couple, who are both not good looking, rammaging around in their house looking for their stuff so that they can go on a holiday together.
Naturally, because it is based on a true story, the show shoves a cliche right into your face like it is actually forgivable just because it is a true story: The wife, or girlfriend, is a busy woman who receives a business call just before they leave, and she is having a well-deserved break with her husband - to scuba dive.
The show, a cheap production using cheap video cams which makes all the characters have fuzzy outlines, spent 20 minutes of film on that STUPID beginning.
The man loves her, and wants her to enjoy herself. He is also a pussy, as you would read about later on.
BAM! There we go! They are at the beach (tick tock, 25 mins into the movie already, where are the sharks?)! FLASH! scene of kids playing in the sea (tick tock). FLASH! scene of people playing volleyball. HELLO??? IF WE JUST WANT TO WATCH RANDOM NO-STORYLINE BEACH SCENES WE CAN REPEATEDLY WATCH THE DOWNTOWN EAST AD OK????
Flash! The couple are back in their hotel room, tired but happy and excited about their long-awaited vacation. (CAN YOU GET MORE CLICHED THAN THAT?? HUH? CAN YOU??)
HOLD YOUR BREATH, ladies and gentlemen! I am about to talk about the climax of the show! They have this little talk which no one could listen to because the show is too cheaply produced to use the woolly sound recorder thingy (think it gets rid of fuzzy sounds). The characters mumbled about how much they love each other and how hard they have worked - which no one gives a shit about. They also look fuzzy.
Suddenly, BAM! Breasts on screen. The girl, a blonde chick who has almost zilch sex appeal because she is a grumpy pig, decides to take off her bra. Wow, what a nice free piece of appetiter! I really did not expect that, it's really nice of you people working on Open Water! (I am being sarcastic. If you have a movie with your female lead only wearing a wet suit all of the time, I think it's mere politeness that you throw in a nude scene first.)
Honestly speaking, her breasts are pretty nice - or maybe it's because they look quite fuzzy.
Just as the rest of the theatre's bored people sit upright barely masking their excitment, and the Jaws fans groan in disappointment that the sharks are not about to come yet, the movie gives the audience another unpleasant surprise. And do not be mistaken - it IS trying to be different from the common hollywood flicks which are, clearly, all about sex.
The girl, who was looking at the guy with complete lust before this, suddenly said (surprisingly audibly for a fuzzy soundtrack) that she is NOT IN THE MOOD TO HAVE SEX!
WHAT! THE! FUCK! What a waste of my time! HELLO??! NO IN THE MOOD TO HAVE SEX? Then why not wear a surgical robe to sleep instead of taking off her top and flashing her tits at him? What's her point?
I think, she secretly wants to have sex, but she wants her man, instead of acting like the usual wimp he is, to tear off her grandmother panties and have dominatrix sex with her.
He fails to deliver.
Instead of climbing over her and impaling the grumpy bitch on his long erect member while shouting into her ear that some sex would do her temper good, he gives a nonchalent look (who blames him?). He then proceeds to say that he understands, and they roll over and sleep till the next morning.
WHAT A PUSSY OF A MAN! I can imagine that if Maddox's girlfriend tells him that she is not in the mood to have sex, he would slap her with his pet Goth and ask her to sit quietly on his gigantic balls and think about the nonsense she just sprouted while he shags one of his hysterical female fans enthusiastically.
The next morning, the duo sets out happily into the boat.
They all scuba dive. FLASH! Scene of clown fish swimming amongst amoebas or whatever those corals are called. THANKS! I LOVE UNDERWATER SCENES!
Fast forwarding the dull bits, the couple gets left behind in the open sea while the boat, due to an unfortunate miscount, sets off without them. (tick tock, 1 hr into the show ...)
VOOM the boat goes! Yaaay! Sharks finally?
Oh no! Couple realises that they are left behind. They wait. Guy pees. Girl pees. Time passes. They see sharks forlicking below them, but the sharks behave like gentle graceful dolphins. I can almost imagine them doing synchorised swimming.
Hey, why are there pieces of white stuff floating around the sea? Mystery solved - the girl vomited. BAH!
Couple panicks (not because of the vomit), they quarrel over whose fault it is that they are stuck here.
Night time! Cliche time! It RAINS! BOOM! Flash! Lightning! Can see couple. No lightning! Cannot see couple! Yaaay!
The guy gets a chunk of his leg bitten by a curious shark and blood fills the otherwise crystal clear sea water.
Ominous foreboding? Lots of sharks, smelling the blood, will attack the guy? You wish. The guy panicks like the wimp he is, while burying himself in the girl's breasts, crying, and the sharks do not attack.
By morning, she is hugging his dead body (too much blood loss).
Coincidentally, the boating people also realised that they must have miscounted, and jets set out scouring the seas for them.
She takes a look at him, and decides to let him go, a la Titanic.
He floats a little, and guess what? The sharks eat him up. WOW! Such good timing she has! She knows it is breakfast time, so the sharks will immediately devour the guy the exact moment she lets him go, but not when she is still holding him!
Trivia for you! Sharks eat wet suits too!
She looks at him, and despite the audience saying that she wouldn't dare, she drowns herself. YES. She drowns herself! HOW AUDACIOUS! The trailer clearly stated that they have a story to tell! How the fuck could it be based on a true story when both characters die??!
The credits flash, and the story was "found out" because one shark, who so coincidentally was caught, had ate the underwater camera the couple brought with them, and the audience can only presume that the film told of the story.
Very stupid, because if you are dying you do not take pictures of yourself.
The point of the movie, Open Water's fans (IT HAS FANS? OMG) argued in IMDB, is not about the sharks but the concept of the phobia of floating around in such a big area. Wow, scary I say.
Not.
Being trapped in such a vast area, or Agoraphobia if you wish, could have been must better portrayed in this movie but was not - unlike other sea shows like Castaway. It almost looked fun to be trapped in the nice ocean.
If you say you are a blind person who just wants to hear the movie because u loved the Jaws soundtrack - don't (although if you are blind u can't read this site). During the most desolute of times, the soundtrack was playing happy prayer songs. Supposedly funny I guess.
Eekean said that if this movie were a comedy, it would have gotten 2 stars.
Since it is not, I'd say it deserves -13/5.
Don't Watch It. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Thus ends this blog entry.
HA! Kidding la. But seriously speaking, I had absolutely nothing to blog about recently (nothing to do with the dire warning). Sure, plenty of people (not friends) made me angry, but I can't write about them because ... what are the chances that they would not read it? Slightly less than zero.
So frustrating.
Since I had nothing to blog about, I almost decided on making Eddy the Engineer meet another animal crossing the road with him (A tibetian llama this time) but well ... I couldn't think of anything funny/interesting to say even about that.
I shall thus hide my non-inspired blog entry with a silly movie review - which could pass off as an informative and educational blog entry.
Regular readers would know I do not usually write movie reviews unless they REALLY piss me off like THE HULK (giant pistachio nut hopping around) or SUICIDE CLUB (Jap kids dying of no reason), or was really good like the recently mentioned Notebook.
VOILA! Along came Open Waters which totally fits the criteria of ... PISSING ME OFF.
This is supposed to be a movie about a couple who is trapped in the open water - with sharks.
Sure, this will have "spoilers", but I do not believe my blog entry is any less interesting than the movie, so surely reading this will be a better deal than spending 1.5 hours watching that show - plus this site is free for your reading and its author is also extremely gorgeous with a gold belly piercing.
People who have gold belly piercings are superior to the rest of the world
Moving swiftly back to the topic of the movie (quit trying to scrutinize if I have belly hairs - coz I am gonna tell you now that I do, though they are cleverly hidden under the layers of skin-coloured air-brushing), I suggest that instead of bringing your girlfriend to watch Open Waters in the hope of her hugging you tight coz she is really scared of the sharks; while you rejoice in the fact that u can slightly feel her breasts on your chest, you could go read 1 year and 4 months worth of Xiaxue archives instead.
If nothing goes wrong, this could give you 5 hours of pure enjoyment.
It is also predicted that you guys will have some arguments i.e. about how all girls hate Michelle Saram while guys love her, but a little squabble is always good for relationship-strengthening. MICHELLE SARAM SUCKKKKKKKKS! (FIGHT!)
Back to Open Waters.
Wong the Lawyer got free premiere tickets to the movie, and boy was it a bad thing. (Not that it's your fault at all Wong! *patronising smile*)
The first scene of the show was this couple, who are both not good looking, rammaging around in their house looking for their stuff so that they can go on a holiday together.
Naturally, because it is based on a true story, the show shoves a cliche right into your face like it is actually forgivable just because it is a true story: The wife, or girlfriend, is a busy woman who receives a business call just before they leave, and she is having a well-deserved break with her husband - to scuba dive.
The show, a cheap production using cheap video cams which makes all the characters have fuzzy outlines, spent 20 minutes of film on that STUPID beginning.
The man loves her, and wants her to enjoy herself. He is also a pussy, as you would read about later on.
BAM! There we go! They are at the beach (tick tock, 25 mins into the movie already, where are the sharks?)! FLASH! scene of kids playing in the sea (tick tock). FLASH! scene of people playing volleyball. HELLO??? IF WE JUST WANT TO WATCH RANDOM NO-STORYLINE BEACH SCENES WE CAN REPEATEDLY WATCH THE DOWNTOWN EAST AD OK????
Flash! The couple are back in their hotel room, tired but happy and excited about their long-awaited vacation. (CAN YOU GET MORE CLICHED THAN THAT?? HUH? CAN YOU??)
HOLD YOUR BREATH, ladies and gentlemen! I am about to talk about the climax of the show! They have this little talk which no one could listen to because the show is too cheaply produced to use the woolly sound recorder thingy (think it gets rid of fuzzy sounds). The characters mumbled about how much they love each other and how hard they have worked - which no one gives a shit about. They also look fuzzy.
Suddenly, BAM! Breasts on screen. The girl, a blonde chick who has almost zilch sex appeal because she is a grumpy pig, decides to take off her bra. Wow, what a nice free piece of appetiter! I really did not expect that, it's really nice of you people working on Open Water! (I am being sarcastic. If you have a movie with your female lead only wearing a wet suit all of the time, I think it's mere politeness that you throw in a nude scene first.)
Honestly speaking, her breasts are pretty nice - or maybe it's because they look quite fuzzy.
Just as the rest of the theatre's bored people sit upright barely masking their excitment, and the Jaws fans groan in disappointment that the sharks are not about to come yet, the movie gives the audience another unpleasant surprise. And do not be mistaken - it IS trying to be different from the common hollywood flicks which are, clearly, all about sex.
The girl, who was looking at the guy with complete lust before this, suddenly said (surprisingly audibly for a fuzzy soundtrack) that she is NOT IN THE MOOD TO HAVE SEX!
WHAT! THE! FUCK! What a waste of my time! HELLO??! NO IN THE MOOD TO HAVE SEX? Then why not wear a surgical robe to sleep instead of taking off her top and flashing her tits at him? What's her point?
I think, she secretly wants to have sex, but she wants her man, instead of acting like the usual wimp he is, to tear off her grandmother panties and have dominatrix sex with her.
He fails to deliver.
Instead of climbing over her and impaling the grumpy bitch on his long erect member while shouting into her ear that some sex would do her temper good, he gives a nonchalent look (who blames him?). He then proceeds to say that he understands, and they roll over and sleep till the next morning.
WHAT A PUSSY OF A MAN! I can imagine that if Maddox's girlfriend tells him that she is not in the mood to have sex, he would slap her with his pet Goth and ask her to sit quietly on his gigantic balls and think about the nonsense she just sprouted while he shags one of his hysterical female fans enthusiastically.
The next morning, the duo sets out happily into the boat.
They all scuba dive. FLASH! Scene of clown fish swimming amongst amoebas or whatever those corals are called. THANKS! I LOVE UNDERWATER SCENES!
Fast forwarding the dull bits, the couple gets left behind in the open sea while the boat, due to an unfortunate miscount, sets off without them. (tick tock, 1 hr into the show ...)
VOOM the boat goes! Yaaay! Sharks finally?
Oh no! Couple realises that they are left behind. They wait. Guy pees. Girl pees. Time passes. They see sharks forlicking below them, but the sharks behave like gentle graceful dolphins. I can almost imagine them doing synchorised swimming.
Hey, why are there pieces of white stuff floating around the sea? Mystery solved - the girl vomited. BAH!
Couple panicks (not because of the vomit), they quarrel over whose fault it is that they are stuck here.
Night time! Cliche time! It RAINS! BOOM! Flash! Lightning! Can see couple. No lightning! Cannot see couple! Yaaay!
The guy gets a chunk of his leg bitten by a curious shark and blood fills the otherwise crystal clear sea water.
Ominous foreboding? Lots of sharks, smelling the blood, will attack the guy? You wish. The guy panicks like the wimp he is, while burying himself in the girl's breasts, crying, and the sharks do not attack.
By morning, she is hugging his dead body (too much blood loss).
Coincidentally, the boating people also realised that they must have miscounted, and jets set out scouring the seas for them.
She takes a look at him, and decides to let him go, a la Titanic.
He floats a little, and guess what? The sharks eat him up. WOW! Such good timing she has! She knows it is breakfast time, so the sharks will immediately devour the guy the exact moment she lets him go, but not when she is still holding him!
Trivia for you! Sharks eat wet suits too!
She looks at him, and despite the audience saying that she wouldn't dare, she drowns herself. YES. She drowns herself! HOW AUDACIOUS! The trailer clearly stated that they have a story to tell! How the fuck could it be based on a true story when both characters die??!
The credits flash, and the story was "found out" because one shark, who so coincidentally was caught, had ate the underwater camera the couple brought with them, and the audience can only presume that the film told of the story.
Very stupid, because if you are dying you do not take pictures of yourself.
The point of the movie, Open Water's fans (IT HAS FANS? OMG) argued in IMDB, is not about the sharks but the concept of the phobia of floating around in such a big area. Wow, scary I say.
Not.
Being trapped in such a vast area, or Agoraphobia if you wish, could have been must better portrayed in this movie but was not - unlike other sea shows like Castaway. It almost looked fun to be trapped in the nice ocean.
If you say you are a blind person who just wants to hear the movie because u loved the Jaws soundtrack - don't (although if you are blind u can't read this site). During the most desolute of times, the soundtrack was playing happy prayer songs. Supposedly funny I guess.
Eekean said that if this movie were a comedy, it would have gotten 2 stars.
Since it is not, I'd say it deserves -13/5.
Don't Watch It. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Toob's World is Toobworld
The TV Universe is my version of collecting tin foil: a minor hobby that has been growing larger than I can control!
I like to look for the type of TV trivia that can help me link various TV shows together so that eventually they're all sharing the same universe. It doesn't matter if it's a cop drama or a sitcom or a cartoon or a mini-series or a Western or a space opera or even a commercial; it's my take that everything we see on TV shares the same alternate universe.
Sure, there are a lot of obvious links - the crossovers and the spinoffs that are actually designed by the producers to help boost ratings. (I know a guy who has an excellent web-site about these official crossovers. You can find his research at: http://www.poobala.com/crossoverlist.html )
I look for thematic crossovers as well - certain situations, locations, products, and characters which can bind shows together. As I continue with this blog, I'll elaborate on that topic, as well as post what "crossovers" I've found so far this year, entrants into the Crossover Hall of Fame, and what crossovers I'd like to see.
And as you watch TV, let me know whenever you might find a possible crossover that might be of interest!
In the meantime, here's another link for a website that helps to build the TV Universe:
TV ACRES
http://www.tvacres.com/toc_tv_acres.htm
BCnU!
I like to look for the type of TV trivia that can help me link various TV shows together so that eventually they're all sharing the same universe. It doesn't matter if it's a cop drama or a sitcom or a cartoon or a mini-series or a Western or a space opera or even a commercial; it's my take that everything we see on TV shares the same alternate universe.
Sure, there are a lot of obvious links - the crossovers and the spinoffs that are actually designed by the producers to help boost ratings. (I know a guy who has an excellent web-site about these official crossovers. You can find his research at: http://www.poobala.com/crossoverlist.html )
I look for thematic crossovers as well - certain situations, locations, products, and characters which can bind shows together. As I continue with this blog, I'll elaborate on that topic, as well as post what "crossovers" I've found so far this year, entrants into the Crossover Hall of Fame, and what crossovers I'd like to see.
And as you watch TV, let me know whenever you might find a possible crossover that might be of interest!
In the meantime, here's another link for a website that helps to build the TV Universe:
TV ACRES
http://www.tvacres.com/toc_tv_acres.htm
BCnU!
Making my fall premiere......
Well, here I am.... have no idea what that Shoe Hand has pushed me into, but let's see what may be on the horizon for this new attempt at a web presence for Toobworld........
I'll just be getting my feet wet right now, dipping the toes actually. I'll see later what I might come up with for content.
I'll just be getting my feet wet right now, dipping the toes actually. I'll see later what I might come up with for content.
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Veggie Fun!
Hi! Let's guess what these pictures stand for!
.
.
.
.
Really to guess?
It's a Bitchy Brinjal!
Ok, NEXT!
What's this? Which veggie has holes in its stems?
It's a Kinky Kangkong!
Those are eyes on it ... And it's slightly more worried than it should rightly be ...
Pessimistic? Nope.
It's a Paranoid Potato!
NEXT! Bet you didn't get any correct you dum dum!
Ok this is kinda tougher. It's a kind of bean, I can tell you that.
It's a Frustrated French Bean!!
p/s: The context of the words are not really important.
It's a Mumbling Mushroom!
Yes it's spinach.
It's a Severed Spinach!
You cannot stand it already is it? Ok, last one:
.
.
.
.
This is a Lesbianic Lady's Finger.
(Credits to nicks of Veggies: Weili, Wanyi, Meiyan and for the lady's finger, No. 1 Blogder Eternald)
Am I getting Blogger's Block? No, why do you ask?
.
.
.
.
Really to guess?
It's a Bitchy Brinjal!
Ok, NEXT!
What's this? Which veggie has holes in its stems?
It's a Kinky Kangkong!
Those are eyes on it ... And it's slightly more worried than it should rightly be ...
Pessimistic? Nope.
It's a Paranoid Potato!
NEXT! Bet you didn't get any correct you dum dum!
Ok this is kinda tougher. It's a kind of bean, I can tell you that.
It's a Frustrated French Bean!!
p/s: The context of the words are not really important.
It's a Mumbling Mushroom!
Yes it's spinach.
It's a Severed Spinach!
You cannot stand it already is it? Ok, last one:
.
.
.
.
This is a Lesbianic Lady's Finger.
(Credits to nicks of Veggies: Weili, Wanyi, Meiyan and for the lady's finger, No. 1 Blogder Eternald)
Am I getting Blogger's Block? No, why do you ask?
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
The versatile star cushion and BOM!
Hi everybody! My name is Chlamydia! I am the guest blogger for today and I am a green star* cushion!
*Well not exactly star, you'll see.
Look! I can become many shapes! Here's my default!
I am a moon now! Yaay! Five more of my brothers and we can be the Singapore flag!
What am I? That's correct! I'm an unripe banana!
Voila! Kan wo qi shi er bian! See! I'm now the pichonkun droplet in Daikin's ads!
I am now a pacman monster!!!!!!!!
*****************
Look! Xiaxue was at the Esplanade for the Singapore Fireworks Festival for the first concert with Birdy, Weili, Meiyan and Alvin (Meiyan and Alvin both Shuyin's and Weili's friends)!
Her friends look pretty happy ...
Birdy wants you to praise her sailormoon boots!
Zhang Zheng Yue preparing for the concert later.
Why is Xiaxue's camera constantly capturing orbs? Orbs are supposed to be spirits. If that's the case, then surely ghosts love to watch fireworks too?
Look what's in the sky!
La!
BOM!
BOM!
la!
A result of Xiaxue's itchy hand at Cafe Cartel later.
Just a form of advertisement for Birdy's new blog at lalalabom.blogspot.com!
la la la BOM!!!
Xiaxue wants me to tell you all that she is a great artist! That's her horrid hairy arm!!!!!!!
Birdy seems disgusted to take the photo with Xiaxue ...
After a smack on her head, she decided to cheer up a little!
Happy belated National Day!
Yours,
The versatile star cushion!
*Well not exactly star, you'll see.
Look! I can become many shapes! Here's my default!
I am a moon now! Yaay! Five more of my brothers and we can be the Singapore flag!
What am I? That's correct! I'm an unripe banana!
Voila! Kan wo qi shi er bian! See! I'm now the pichonkun droplet in Daikin's ads!
I am now a pacman monster!!!!!!!!
*****************
Look! Xiaxue was at the Esplanade for the Singapore Fireworks Festival for the first concert with Birdy, Weili, Meiyan and Alvin (Meiyan and Alvin both Shuyin's and Weili's friends)!
Her friends look pretty happy ...
Birdy wants you to praise her sailormoon boots!
Zhang Zheng Yue preparing for the concert later.
Why is Xiaxue's camera constantly capturing orbs? Orbs are supposed to be spirits. If that's the case, then surely ghosts love to watch fireworks too?
Look what's in the sky!
La!
BOM!
BOM!
la!
BOOOM!
BOM!
la!
BOM!
SMITHEREENS!
****************
A result of Xiaxue's itchy hand at Cafe Cartel later.
Just a form of advertisement for Birdy's new blog at lalalabom.blogspot.com!
la la la BOM!!!
Xiaxue wants me to tell you all that she is a great artist! That's her horrid hairy arm!!!!!!!
Birdy seems disgusted to take the photo with Xiaxue ...
After a smack on her head, she decided to cheer up a little!
Happy belated National Day!
Yours,
The versatile star cushion!
Then, and then Now.
Ha!
Avid readers will recall how last Christmas I was heavily flamed in the dumbass forums Hardwarezone and Sammyboy or something.
My reaction? I cried. I did not understand why here I am, blogging my best and not harming anyone, and yet, some people are there saying I am a whore and laughing at my pictures.
In fact, I even decided to close down my site.
Today, with the Straits Times reporting about my website, there are more stupid/narrow-minded people than ever who read me, although the increase in traffic also includes many people who appreciate my site. (Note for self-assuming people: I did not say everyone who hates me is stupid, I said (some) stupid people hate me - it's different.)
The forum-idiots are flaming me worse than ever! Here's one example, though this one is really quite mild. Think they were being courteous. (Got more examples? Post the links up!)
But anyway, I just realised how different my reactions are 8 months from then.
I look at the mean words there, and I shrug and tell myself it's ok, for these guys are semi-retards who do not get fucked at all. They are also ugly, sad and remarkable people - with unremarkable intellect and leading an unremarkable life and have unremarkable kids who will grow up to be other unremarkable beings participating in forums no one gives a shit about except for unremarkable beings like themselves whom a task requiring slightly more than one brain cell would traumatize.
Therefore, they have lots of pent up angst in them and they have to release it.
The best way to release it will of course be to masturbate, but the results only last for 4 minutes (some of them come faster, say 1 min, because of the short length of the passage-way for the semen to travel to open space).
The alternate best way, would be to scold someone and hopefully make the person as miserable as you are, preferably in the internet world where you can be an anonymous coward.
The best person to scold would be precisely be all the people who will look down on stupid people like them.
Oops! That's me! I can understand why they dislike me: I'm confident (which means that I will NEVER go out with stupid people like them) and spirited and loud (they like quiet meek girls who agree with them).
Bah!
One thing makes me feel quite pissed though. Who are these people to criticize me? It's ok for people like doctors to say I am stupid, but these worthless bengs? Isn't it funny how, after I managed to make it big with the blog they predicted will fail, that they are still harping on the same points?
To all the bengs:
I cannot write for nuts? HA! That's really funny. I work freelance for a national daily. I am working on a book project now. How about YOU who are criticizing me? Did you even pass your recent composition test?
I am a stupid bitch? I went into a good school which you will never manage get in (I'm talking about RV). I'm now having a job you will never get with YOUR intellect. I am definitely not stupid.
My blog is the worst blog ever? I have 4,000 readers now - and let's say a modest 2,000 of them love my blog and the others dislike it, but read it anyway. How many ardent readers does your blog have, if you even managed to set one up? Will you ever get the amount of readers I have?
I am fat and ugly like a pig? Ok, I know aesthetics has no standard rules and it's a matter of opinions, but saying I look like a pig IS stretching it a little too far. I know I am not ugly to the least. Eh ... but you? Sure, you say that even if I were given free to you you wouldn't want me ... YOU CLAIM. But are you sure you can even get a girl? How about also considering that someone like me will never like you too?
I've got no class? Certainly got more than the people who write such bullshit in stupid forums. =)
My blog is a disgrace to Singapore? Woohoo. So far, I've only received compliments from foreigners reading this blog, and no hate mail at all - so yeah ...
Copy this chunk to your forum if you want, and generate the same answers - "Never seen such an arrogant bitch hope she gets knock down by car" or "roll-eyes smiley X 2" and tell me why stupid people always all say the same things, will you?
p/s: No la, I'm not angry (you look disappointed at that)
p/p/s: No, readers of these forums may not be stupid people if they sieve the useful information outta the forums. But if you write like these retards ... ah well.
- Trying to win an argument with an irrational (stupid) person is like trying to teach a cat to snorkel by providing written instructions. No matter how clear your instructions, it wouldn't work. ~ Scott Adams -
Avid readers will recall how last Christmas I was heavily flamed in the dumbass forums Hardwarezone and Sammyboy or something.
My reaction? I cried. I did not understand why here I am, blogging my best and not harming anyone, and yet, some people are there saying I am a whore and laughing at my pictures.
In fact, I even decided to close down my site.
Today, with the Straits Times reporting about my website, there are more stupid/narrow-minded people than ever who read me, although the increase in traffic also includes many people who appreciate my site. (Note for self-assuming people: I did not say everyone who hates me is stupid, I said (some) stupid people hate me - it's different.)
The forum-idiots are flaming me worse than ever! Here's one example, though this one is really quite mild. Think they were being courteous. (Got more examples? Post the links up!)
But anyway, I just realised how different my reactions are 8 months from then.
I look at the mean words there, and I shrug and tell myself it's ok, for these guys are semi-retards who do not get fucked at all. They are also ugly, sad and remarkable people - with unremarkable intellect and leading an unremarkable life and have unremarkable kids who will grow up to be other unremarkable beings participating in forums no one gives a shit about except for unremarkable beings like themselves whom a task requiring slightly more than one brain cell would traumatize.
Therefore, they have lots of pent up angst in them and they have to release it.
The best way to release it will of course be to masturbate, but the results only last for 4 minutes (some of them come faster, say 1 min, because of the short length of the passage-way for the semen to travel to open space).
The alternate best way, would be to scold someone and hopefully make the person as miserable as you are, preferably in the internet world where you can be an anonymous coward.
The best person to scold would be precisely be all the people who will look down on stupid people like them.
Oops! That's me! I can understand why they dislike me: I'm confident (which means that I will NEVER go out with stupid people like them) and spirited and loud (they like quiet meek girls who agree with them).
Bah!
One thing makes me feel quite pissed though. Who are these people to criticize me? It's ok for people like doctors to say I am stupid, but these worthless bengs? Isn't it funny how, after I managed to make it big with the blog they predicted will fail, that they are still harping on the same points?
To all the bengs:
I cannot write for nuts? HA! That's really funny. I work freelance for a national daily. I am working on a book project now. How about YOU who are criticizing me? Did you even pass your recent composition test?
I am a stupid bitch? I went into a good school which you will never manage get in (I'm talking about RV). I'm now having a job you will never get with YOUR intellect. I am definitely not stupid.
My blog is the worst blog ever? I have 4,000 readers now - and let's say a modest 2,000 of them love my blog and the others dislike it, but read it anyway. How many ardent readers does your blog have, if you even managed to set one up? Will you ever get the amount of readers I have?
I am fat and ugly like a pig? Ok, I know aesthetics has no standard rules and it's a matter of opinions, but saying I look like a pig IS stretching it a little too far. I know I am not ugly to the least. Eh ... but you? Sure, you say that even if I were given free to you you wouldn't want me ... YOU CLAIM. But are you sure you can even get a girl? How about also considering that someone like me will never like you too?
I've got no class? Certainly got more than the people who write such bullshit in stupid forums. =)
My blog is a disgrace to Singapore? Woohoo. So far, I've only received compliments from foreigners reading this blog, and no hate mail at all - so yeah ...
Copy this chunk to your forum if you want, and generate the same answers - "Never seen such an arrogant bitch hope she gets knock down by car" or "roll-eyes smiley X 2" and tell me why stupid people always all say the same things, will you?
p/s: No la, I'm not angry (you look disappointed at that)
p/p/s: No, readers of these forums may not be stupid people if they sieve the useful information outta the forums. But if you write like these retards ... ah well.
- Trying to win an argument with an irrational (stupid) person is like trying to teach a cat to snorkel by providing written instructions. No matter how clear your instructions, it wouldn't work. ~ Scott Adams -
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)