When a TV series is wholly remade with a new cast and updated to reflect the current times, the show is automatically relegated to the alternate TV dimension of Earth Prime Time Delay. This is because Earth Prime Time (Toobworld) already has the original series as a segment of the TV Universe.
From there, the show might be then forewarded to yet another alt. dimension, as might be the case with the new version of 'Battlestar Galactica'. (Some of the recastaways were now women - Starbuck and Admiral Cain, for example - and could be part of an estrogen-driven dimension as found in 'All That Glitters' and an episode of 'Sliders'.)
Last night, a new version of 'Kolchak: The Night Stalker' premiered; its title now truncated to just 'The Night Stalker'. The only connection to the old series was in the names for two of its main characters - Carl Kolchak and Tony Vincenzo.
Kolchak was no longer a rumpled, middle-aged schlub scrounging for his news stories out of a dumpy newsroom and an even dumpier apartment. Now the reporter was a catalogue fashion model just past his prime, who worked for the L.A. Beacon instead of the "I.N.S."
Tony Vincenzo valued his friendship with the reporter and trusted his reporting skills; whereas in the original, Kolchak was a thorn in his editor's side.
And Kolchak's background - a previous life in Las Vegas shrouded in mystery, - differed in that his wife had been murdered by some kind of were-creature; while the original Kolchak was a bachelor who battled a vampire.
For all that the show was markedly, radically, totally different, I don't even see why the producers even bothered with retaining the names of the characters. They should have just gone whole hog and created an entirely new show.
Actually, I can understand though why they kept the title after reading about Roy Huggins and his negotiations to bring 'Maverick' to Television. (ABC was too cheap to pay for original ideas; so Huggins had to take his truly original character of Bret Maverick and insert him into the plot of a novel already owned by ABC. Thus the pilot of episode of 'Maverick': "War Of The Silver Kings".)
If ABC wanted to save a few quatloos because they already owned the rights to the Jeff Rice novel, that's fine. 'The Night Stalker' is both generic and specific and can refer either to the protagonists or to the creatures he hunted. They should have jettisoned the actual connection to Darrin McGavin's character, because Carl Kolchak, he's not.
But just because I've banished this new version of 'The New Stalker' to Earth Prime Time Delay, that doesn't mean I've abandoned my interest in the role it plays in the TV Universe. In fact, there are at least two other points of interest in the pilot which appealed to my theories of Televisiology.
Film at eleven...
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
CROSSOVER OF THE WEEK!
Since the new season is only just underway, and because I spent the summer looking for possible crossovers for each of the 13 episodes of the new 'Doctor Who', the "Crossover of the Week' is actually from about three weeks ago.
Okay, a month ago.
As the late Don Adams would say, "Sorry about that, Chief."
This crossover takes place in the Tooniverse. But it does have a tie to the Cineverse as one of the shows is a television spin-off from a theatrical cartoon.
On 'Lilo & Stitch', the li'l blue alien was kidnapped by two villains normally seen on another Disney Channel 'toon, 'Kim Possible', but Dr. Drakken and Shego were working for Hamsterviel.
Having no one else to turn to, Lilo contacted Kim Possible for help. The lithe, young adventuress answered her pleas, with help from the aliens Jumba and Pleakley, as well as from Kim's friend Ron Stoppable and his pet Rufus. It didn't take long, less than half an hour coincidentally enough, for Kim and Lilo breached the underwater fortress and saved Stitch from the evil trio.
There was a sub-plot that also did a good job in intertwining the two series, as Jumba was convinced that the Naked Mole Rat was one of the dangerous experimental creatures like Stitch was.
Not being familiar with either series, I don't know if they had any previous links to other shows. But of the two, I'd say 'Kim Possible' has the best, um... possibilities.
For instance - 'Static Shock', 'Batman Begins', and 'Teen Titans', let's say.
Something for both Disney and The WB to consider.
This just in.... I've heard a rumor that this episode of 'Lilo & Stitch' ("Rufus") will be the last appearance of the character of 'Kim Possible'... at least in animated form.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Okay, a month ago.
As the late Don Adams would say, "Sorry about that, Chief."
This crossover takes place in the Tooniverse. But it does have a tie to the Cineverse as one of the shows is a television spin-off from a theatrical cartoon.
On 'Lilo & Stitch', the li'l blue alien was kidnapped by two villains normally seen on another Disney Channel 'toon, 'Kim Possible', but Dr. Drakken and Shego were working for Hamsterviel.
Having no one else to turn to, Lilo contacted Kim Possible for help. The lithe, young adventuress answered her pleas, with help from the aliens Jumba and Pleakley, as well as from Kim's friend Ron Stoppable and his pet Rufus. It didn't take long, less than half an hour coincidentally enough, for Kim and Lilo breached the underwater fortress and saved Stitch from the evil trio.
There was a sub-plot that also did a good job in intertwining the two series, as Jumba was convinced that the Naked Mole Rat was one of the dangerous experimental creatures like Stitch was.
Not being familiar with either series, I don't know if they had any previous links to other shows. But of the two, I'd say 'Kim Possible' has the best, um... possibilities.
For instance - 'Static Shock', 'Batman Begins', and 'Teen Titans', let's say.
Something for both Disney and The WB to consider.
This just in.... I've heard a rumor that this episode of 'Lilo & Stitch' ("Rufus") will be the last appearance of the character of 'Kim Possible'... at least in animated form.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
THE "PRISON BREAK" & 'DOCTOR WHO'
Since the new version of 'Doctor Who' has not been picked up for American audiences, some of the details mentioned in this essay should probably be considered spoilers.
Just thought I'd warn ye.
Regular visitors to "Inner Toob" might remember what troubles I had in trying to find an appropriate link for the fourth and fifth episodes of the new 'Doctor Who' ("Aliens Of London" & "World War Three"). I needed a theoretical crossover that could cover the newsmaking events of the death of the British Prime Minister and the destruction of both Big Ben and Number 10 Downing Street. And I needed this link to also help splain the timeline discrepancies that cropped up due to the 11th episode, "Boom Town".
So I decided to utilize one of the special features of the TARDIS - that it could travel not only through Time but Space as well. For these episodes, I was originally hoping to link it to the alternate TV dimension in which 'The West Wing' takes place.
But as "Words Say Nothing" pointed out, by the time the episode was taking place - June, 2006, - the United Kingdom already had a female PM. In "Aliens Of London", we learned the Slitheen Family had murdered the MALE PM of that time period.
And if 'The West Wing' was projecting ahead with its timeline, then by this point in the broadcasts, now that the last season has begun, surely somebody should have mentioned the loss of both British landmarks.
So 'The West Wing' was wight - er, right out.
I didn't even give 'Commander-in-Chief' a thought because it might be addressing the fictional view of their world's Great Britain before season's end. And if they can keep up the encouraging ratings from their first night, it might even be around by next season. And definitely by then they would have had to depict an England without Big Ben.
So I finally chose the combo of 'The Agency' and 'The District', which were both on CBS and shared a definitive crossover with each other. They had a fictional presidency, - therefore automatically relegated to an alternate dimension since Toobworld must share the same president as the Real World... for better or worse. And best of all? Both shows were cancelled; therefore we can make any claims we want for that dimension's future.
And for good measure, I decided to toss in the new FOX series 'Prison Break' to this alt. dimension, since they keep talking about a man named Steadman who is the brother to the Vice President.
Which is the long way around to saying that 'Prison Break' has given me a gift - something from the show itself that lends credence to this theory.
This past Monday, Michael Scofield was hoping to instigate a lockdown of his cellblock so that he could work behind the prison walls. What he never planned for was that the situation would quickly devolve into a full-scale riot.
And the riot's main instigator, a prison perv known as T-Bag, exhulted over the fact that he caused the correction officers to flee before him and his troops. "They're afraid of the Big Bad Wolf!"
The Big Bad Wolf.......
As the over-arching storyline showed, the Doctor and his companion Rose Tyler were followed throughout Time and Space by the phrase "Bad Wolf". Some of these were found in graffiti, others in corporate names. Sometimes the phrase was spoken aloud by characters like Gwyneth and The Moxx of the Balhoon.
The words "Bad Wolf" had been scattered through Time and Space by Rose herself, after she had gained god-like powers from absorbing the Time Stream. If "Aliens Of London" & "World War Three" did take place in an alternate dimension, then the phrase could have manifested itself through T-Bag's exclamation.
And as for it occurring at the Fox River State Penitentiary, where the Doctor and Rose never even showed up, that's not really a problem either. (They only went to America once - in the episode "Dalek", and that won't happen until 2012.)
Rose sent "Bad Wolf" throughout Time and Space, sprinkling it liberally I'm sure. We know some of the occurrences were like seed tossed onto asphalt, because even though Rose and the Doctor were in the vicinity, they never noticed them. (For instance, the graffitti on the concert poster in 1987 London, found in the episode "Father's Day".)
"Bad Wolf" and especially "Big Bad Wolf" (which was uttered by Gwyneth in "The Unquiet Dead") are phrases that can be considered pretty common. Not only could they show up in some sitcom's retelling of a few classic fairy tales, but they do lend themselves nicely to code words and catch-phrases and even as a possible secret identity.
Therefore, in the future whenever the phrase "Bad Wolf" shows up in any TV show, it will be my claim that it's another manifestation of Rose's plan scattered throughout the TV Universe.
As a matter of fact, should the phrase ever pop up in some rerun of an old TV show from years back, we can make the same claim.
'Doctor Who' is the premiere series for time travel, after all.
In fact, here are two examples that I feel comfortable with attributing to Rose Tyler's powers:
"Dark Shadows" (1966)
Quentin Collins: On your way to grandmother's house, and low and behold! Who should you meet but the big bad wolf.
"Veronica Mars" (2004)
Trina Echolls: So now you're worried about Dad's welfare.... Isn't he the Big Bad Wolf? Cigarette burns and broken noses.... Oh, the stories you used to tell!
Both quotes are courtesy of contributors to the IMDb.com. There's always a possibility that even more TV series might be able to add to that roster!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Just thought I'd warn ye.
Regular visitors to "Inner Toob" might remember what troubles I had in trying to find an appropriate link for the fourth and fifth episodes of the new 'Doctor Who' ("Aliens Of London" & "World War Three"). I needed a theoretical crossover that could cover the newsmaking events of the death of the British Prime Minister and the destruction of both Big Ben and Number 10 Downing Street. And I needed this link to also help splain the timeline discrepancies that cropped up due to the 11th episode, "Boom Town".
So I decided to utilize one of the special features of the TARDIS - that it could travel not only through Time but Space as well. For these episodes, I was originally hoping to link it to the alternate TV dimension in which 'The West Wing' takes place.
But as "Words Say Nothing" pointed out, by the time the episode was taking place - June, 2006, - the United Kingdom already had a female PM. In "Aliens Of London", we learned the Slitheen Family had murdered the MALE PM of that time period.
And if 'The West Wing' was projecting ahead with its timeline, then by this point in the broadcasts, now that the last season has begun, surely somebody should have mentioned the loss of both British landmarks.
So 'The West Wing' was wight - er, right out.
I didn't even give 'Commander-in-Chief' a thought because it might be addressing the fictional view of their world's Great Britain before season's end. And if they can keep up the encouraging ratings from their first night, it might even be around by next season. And definitely by then they would have had to depict an England without Big Ben.
So I finally chose the combo of 'The Agency' and 'The District', which were both on CBS and shared a definitive crossover with each other. They had a fictional presidency, - therefore automatically relegated to an alternate dimension since Toobworld must share the same president as the Real World... for better or worse. And best of all? Both shows were cancelled; therefore we can make any claims we want for that dimension's future.
And for good measure, I decided to toss in the new FOX series 'Prison Break' to this alt. dimension, since they keep talking about a man named Steadman who is the brother to the Vice President.
Which is the long way around to saying that 'Prison Break' has given me a gift - something from the show itself that lends credence to this theory.
This past Monday, Michael Scofield was hoping to instigate a lockdown of his cellblock so that he could work behind the prison walls. What he never planned for was that the situation would quickly devolve into a full-scale riot.
And the riot's main instigator, a prison perv known as T-Bag, exhulted over the fact that he caused the correction officers to flee before him and his troops. "They're afraid of the Big Bad Wolf!"
The Big Bad Wolf.......
As the over-arching storyline showed, the Doctor and his companion Rose Tyler were followed throughout Time and Space by the phrase "Bad Wolf". Some of these were found in graffiti, others in corporate names. Sometimes the phrase was spoken aloud by characters like Gwyneth and The Moxx of the Balhoon.
The words "Bad Wolf" had been scattered through Time and Space by Rose herself, after she had gained god-like powers from absorbing the Time Stream. If "Aliens Of London" & "World War Three" did take place in an alternate dimension, then the phrase could have manifested itself through T-Bag's exclamation.
And as for it occurring at the Fox River State Penitentiary, where the Doctor and Rose never even showed up, that's not really a problem either. (They only went to America once - in the episode "Dalek", and that won't happen until 2012.)
Rose sent "Bad Wolf" throughout Time and Space, sprinkling it liberally I'm sure. We know some of the occurrences were like seed tossed onto asphalt, because even though Rose and the Doctor were in the vicinity, they never noticed them. (For instance, the graffitti on the concert poster in 1987 London, found in the episode "Father's Day".)
"Bad Wolf" and especially "Big Bad Wolf" (which was uttered by Gwyneth in "The Unquiet Dead") are phrases that can be considered pretty common. Not only could they show up in some sitcom's retelling of a few classic fairy tales, but they do lend themselves nicely to code words and catch-phrases and even as a possible secret identity.
Therefore, in the future whenever the phrase "Bad Wolf" shows up in any TV show, it will be my claim that it's another manifestation of Rose's plan scattered throughout the TV Universe.
As a matter of fact, should the phrase ever pop up in some rerun of an old TV show from years back, we can make the same claim.
'Doctor Who' is the premiere series for time travel, after all.
In fact, here are two examples that I feel comfortable with attributing to Rose Tyler's powers:
"Dark Shadows" (1966)
Quentin Collins: On your way to grandmother's house, and low and behold! Who should you meet but the big bad wolf.
"Veronica Mars" (2004)
Trina Echolls: So now you're worried about Dad's welfare.... Isn't he the Big Bad Wolf? Cigarette burns and broken noses.... Oh, the stories you used to tell!
Both quotes are courtesy of contributors to the IMDb.com. There's always a possibility that even more TV series might be able to add to that roster!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
MISSING THEM BY SO MUCH
With the death of Don Adams, it's occurred to me that the registrar of Toobworld citizenry has suffered a heavy toll this year. We have lost truly great characters when these actors have died, as well as legends from the League of Themselves and even a few giants behind the scenes.
Sure, the roles can be recast. ABC hopes to prove that with their new version of 'The Night Stalker' this year. But as we've always known since the beginning of the medium, there can never be anyone to take the place in our hearts quite like the original.
The following is not a comprehensive list; perhaps I may run one for the end of the year. But look over these names and give thanks that Toobworld exists in a medium where they all can live again for us exactly as we remembered them. (Minus those moments edited for commercial breaks.)
Phoebe Wallingford - 'All My Children'
Dean Vernon Wormer - 'Delta House'
Ponder Blue - 'Evening Shade'
[Corrected thanks to Brent McKee]
Ranger Porter Ricks - 'Flipper'
Morty Seinfeld - 'Seinfeld'
Cathy Shumway - 'Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman'
Charlie Hume - 'Lou Grant'
The Riddler - 'Batman'
Chief Peter B. Clifford - 'McCloud'
Ernest T. Bass - 'The Andy Griffith Show'
"Ollievar" Wendell Douglas - 'Green Acres'
General Burkhaldter - 'Hogan's Heroes'
Pete Thornton - 'MacGyver'
Perry White - 'Lois & Clark'
Mr. Peterson - 'The Bob Newhart Show'
SCOTTY! - 'Star Trek'
Miss Ellie - 'Dallas'
Gilligan - 'Gilligan's Island'
Maynard G. Krebs - 'The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis'
Maxwell Smart - 'Get Smart'
From the League of Themselves:
Johnny Carson
Paul Winchell
Peter Jennings
Pat McCormick
And behind the scenes:
Perry Lafferty
Paul Henning
Plus the voices for:
Tennessee Tuxedo
Inspector Gadget
Fred Flintstone
Tony The Tiger
As I stated, this is not the full list. But even so, I can't be the only one who feels the enormous sense of loss......
BCnU....
Tele-Toby
Sure, the roles can be recast. ABC hopes to prove that with their new version of 'The Night Stalker' this year. But as we've always known since the beginning of the medium, there can never be anyone to take the place in our hearts quite like the original.
The following is not a comprehensive list; perhaps I may run one for the end of the year. But look over these names and give thanks that Toobworld exists in a medium where they all can live again for us exactly as we remembered them. (Minus those moments edited for commercial breaks.)
Phoebe Wallingford - 'All My Children'
Dean Vernon Wormer - 'Delta House'
Ponder Blue - 'Evening Shade'
[Corrected thanks to Brent McKee]
Ranger Porter Ricks - 'Flipper'
Morty Seinfeld - 'Seinfeld'
Cathy Shumway - 'Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman'
Charlie Hume - 'Lou Grant'
The Riddler - 'Batman'
Chief Peter B. Clifford - 'McCloud'
Ernest T. Bass - 'The Andy Griffith Show'
"Ollievar" Wendell Douglas - 'Green Acres'
General Burkhaldter - 'Hogan's Heroes'
Pete Thornton - 'MacGyver'
Perry White - 'Lois & Clark'
Mr. Peterson - 'The Bob Newhart Show'
SCOTTY! - 'Star Trek'
Miss Ellie - 'Dallas'
Gilligan - 'Gilligan's Island'
Maynard G. Krebs - 'The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis'
Maxwell Smart - 'Get Smart'
From the League of Themselves:
Johnny Carson
Paul Winchell
Peter Jennings
Pat McCormick
And behind the scenes:
Perry Lafferty
Paul Henning
Plus the voices for:
Tennessee Tuxedo
Inspector Gadget
Fred Flintstone
Tony The Tiger
As I stated, this is not the full list. But even so, I can't be the only one who feels the enormous sense of loss......
BCnU....
Tele-Toby
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Fucking unfair
Which is the fucking JC which did this?
Childish. I look down on you, you fucking loser school. Get a freaking life, wimp. Wooo you cannot insult me! You say I fat! I cry! I commit suicide!
Abusing your fucking power, isn't it? Oh, I speak some opinion about you, you go suspend me. Just because you have the fucking power to. What kind of reasoning is that?
Zhang shi qi ren. Petty.
Teachers can say students are stupid - they do it all the time. Hell, my primary school teachers even SLAPPED students.
And students cannot say their teacher is a bitch? (one student did, and she got suspended, according to my reader)
Get this: Back in RV, Mrs Look even warned my classmates not to get close to me, because she told them I was a bad influence. Wow, targetting my friends and my social circle in school? Under the fucking white RV school belt, that is. If you want to get me to change, you don't threaten me with my friends, ok? (In case you are interested my friends hack-cared her)
If she did that, I cannot write on my blog what she did? Sue me for defamation? Go ahead... I have my witnesses, and it was a fair comment.
Hell, I even have the event recorded in my old school diary:
Click to enlarge, and Shui Xiang was my ex-bf.
Why, scared people find out the truth about your actions is it?
Wanna fight back? You fucking fight like a man, and go set up your own blog and defend yourself.
What is with this "suspending" and commanding people to close down their blogs? What gives you the rights to threaten people like that? It is clearly an abuse of the power you have.
I've gotten many mails from my teenage readers, telling me what their schools did to them when they wrote some stuff about school on their blogs.
One got suspended (yes, it has been happening since a long time ago)... Another wrote something about her getting depressed (about just ONE event), and the school forced her to close down her blog. The principal printed out her entries, made her do corrective work order, and even sent her for counselling. WTF! Siao ah?
Don't you crazy-ass people know that the fucking studying environment is very stifling?
You close down this little outlet of venting for our teens, and may they, because they didn't siphon out their pains in the form of writing a harmless blog entry, burn your fucking school down in a fit of anger. Ha. How worth it.
It is one thing to stop bloggers from writing irresponsible remarks about race and trying to generate hatred in the society. The law is supposed to protect the weak.
But what about when you are clearly in the superior position?
You are a principal. You are older, wiser, more mature, and more rational then your feather-brained students. Why abuse your power to attack these kids? Lowering yourself to their positions, isn't it? Aren't you supposed to be just a tad more magnanimous?
If you don't like what they wrote, you bloody go confront them, and clear things up - like what normal people do.
Don't fucking abuse your position and power.
It gets me so angry when people do that!!!
Sure, students shouldn't write defamatory (by defamatory I mean untrue) things about schools. That surely is wrong. It is a civil case, so go sue the student! Why are you ruining his whole education by taking away his chance to study? He paid for your fucking teachers to fucking teach him, ok? If he fails his As because he missed that few weeks of lessons, who is going to compensate him, and his future? Who?
Yeah companies fire people who blog about them. Sure they can do that - they are paying the employee, and it is stupid to keep feeding an employee who is disloyal to the company. What excuse do schools have? What, I pay to study in your school, and I cannot complain about it?
But never mind that. Now we all know what bullies Singapore schools are. Sure, whatever. Students will keep their mouths shut from now on. Nobody can say anything bad about you. Only you can do whatever you want. Fucking bullies.
Though I must say, silencing students is not that easy nowadays... Don't you know that students are very rebellious? I foresee many more anonymous blogs mushrooming up, just because you decided to stifle our youths. Don't let me write, I write even more. Good luck dealing with that. :)
(Just a tip to students. When your school ask you to close your blog, you set up another blog account [with a new, anonymous email of course], and you copy the entire contents inside. Email the blog link to the school's biggest gossiper. When the school asks you why your blog is still around, you say bua bodoh and say, I dunno leh, I delete already, someone copied the contents and put it in that website, and I cannot remove it coz I am not the author mah!)
Just one more thing I am pondering about ah... ST says that teachers can sue, as long as it affects their "livelihood"... And that some fucking Union will back them up...
So if I say a teacher is a slut who fucks students... She gets fired (because she did fuck students, and somemore it is the chess club president!!! LOSER!) and thus it affects her livelihood... Then she is no longer a teacher what, why should the Union help her leh? If she doesn't get fired (since schools apparently sympathise with their stuff over students), then theoretically no "damages" are done - you sue lan jiao?
I don't wonder why our kids are all aiming for an overseas education. Can you imagine Harvard threatening to sue a student because he said "Frustrated old spinster. Can't stand to see attractive girls"?
I don't know about you, but I cannot... It just doesn't seem like the juvenile way Harvard works. I don't know for sure though, the professors there can be prudes sometimes!
p/s: What have your school done to students who blogged bad stuff about them? Say it loudly here, because we all want to know. Though, please do not mention school names - I also don't wanna get sued, for something I cannot even verify.
Postnote: It annoys me that people don't get my point all of the freaking time! About this blog entry, it is not about whether students should, or should not blog about their schools. That's their freedom of choice, and it has also been discussed to DEATH. My point is simply that schools should not ABUSE their position of authority to punish students for something personal. ABUSE OF POWER. THAT IS NOT FAIR PLAY. Geddit?
Childish. I look down on you, you fucking loser school. Get a freaking life, wimp. Wooo you cannot insult me! You say I fat! I cry! I commit suicide!
Abusing your fucking power, isn't it? Oh, I speak some opinion about you, you go suspend me. Just because you have the fucking power to. What kind of reasoning is that?
Zhang shi qi ren. Petty.
Teachers can say students are stupid - they do it all the time. Hell, my primary school teachers even SLAPPED students.
And students cannot say their teacher is a bitch? (one student did, and she got suspended, according to my reader)
Get this: Back in RV, Mrs Look even warned my classmates not to get close to me, because she told them I was a bad influence. Wow, targetting my friends and my social circle in school? Under the fucking white RV school belt, that is. If you want to get me to change, you don't threaten me with my friends, ok? (In case you are interested my friends hack-cared her)
If she did that, I cannot write on my blog what she did? Sue me for defamation? Go ahead... I have my witnesses, and it was a fair comment.
Hell, I even have the event recorded in my old school diary:
Click to enlarge, and Shui Xiang was my ex-bf.
Why, scared people find out the truth about your actions is it?
Wanna fight back? You fucking fight like a man, and go set up your own blog and defend yourself.
What is with this "suspending" and commanding people to close down their blogs? What gives you the rights to threaten people like that? It is clearly an abuse of the power you have.
I've gotten many mails from my teenage readers, telling me what their schools did to them when they wrote some stuff about school on their blogs.
One got suspended (yes, it has been happening since a long time ago)... Another wrote something about her getting depressed (about just ONE event), and the school forced her to close down her blog. The principal printed out her entries, made her do corrective work order, and even sent her for counselling. WTF! Siao ah?
Don't you crazy-ass people know that the fucking studying environment is very stifling?
You close down this little outlet of venting for our teens, and may they, because they didn't siphon out their pains in the form of writing a harmless blog entry, burn your fucking school down in a fit of anger. Ha. How worth it.
It is one thing to stop bloggers from writing irresponsible remarks about race and trying to generate hatred in the society. The law is supposed to protect the weak.
But what about when you are clearly in the superior position?
You are a principal. You are older, wiser, more mature, and more rational then your feather-brained students. Why abuse your power to attack these kids? Lowering yourself to their positions, isn't it? Aren't you supposed to be just a tad more magnanimous?
If you don't like what they wrote, you bloody go confront them, and clear things up - like what normal people do.
Don't fucking abuse your position and power.
It gets me so angry when people do that!!!
Sure, students shouldn't write defamatory (by defamatory I mean untrue) things about schools. That surely is wrong. It is a civil case, so go sue the student! Why are you ruining his whole education by taking away his chance to study? He paid for your fucking teachers to fucking teach him, ok? If he fails his As because he missed that few weeks of lessons, who is going to compensate him, and his future? Who?
Yeah companies fire people who blog about them. Sure they can do that - they are paying the employee, and it is stupid to keep feeding an employee who is disloyal to the company. What excuse do schools have? What, I pay to study in your school, and I cannot complain about it?
But never mind that. Now we all know what bullies Singapore schools are. Sure, whatever. Students will keep their mouths shut from now on. Nobody can say anything bad about you. Only you can do whatever you want. Fucking bullies.
Though I must say, silencing students is not that easy nowadays... Don't you know that students are very rebellious? I foresee many more anonymous blogs mushrooming up, just because you decided to stifle our youths. Don't let me write, I write even more. Good luck dealing with that. :)
(Just a tip to students. When your school ask you to close your blog, you set up another blog account [with a new, anonymous email of course], and you copy the entire contents inside. Email the blog link to the school's biggest gossiper. When the school asks you why your blog is still around, you say bua bodoh and say, I dunno leh, I delete already, someone copied the contents and put it in that website, and I cannot remove it coz I am not the author mah!)
Just one more thing I am pondering about ah... ST says that teachers can sue, as long as it affects their "livelihood"... And that some fucking Union will back them up...
So if I say a teacher is a slut who fucks students... She gets fired (because she did fuck students, and somemore it is the chess club president!!! LOSER!) and thus it affects her livelihood... Then she is no longer a teacher what, why should the Union help her leh? If she doesn't get fired (since schools apparently sympathise with their stuff over students), then theoretically no "damages" are done - you sue lan jiao?
I don't wonder why our kids are all aiming for an overseas education. Can you imagine Harvard threatening to sue a student because he said "Frustrated old spinster. Can't stand to see attractive girls"?
I don't know about you, but I cannot... It just doesn't seem like the juvenile way Harvard works. I don't know for sure though, the professors there can be prudes sometimes!
p/s: What have your school done to students who blogged bad stuff about them? Say it loudly here, because we all want to know. Though, please do not mention school names - I also don't wanna get sued, for something I cannot even verify.
Postnote: It annoys me that people don't get my point all of the freaking time! About this blog entry, it is not about whether students should, or should not blog about their schools. That's their freedom of choice, and it has also been discussed to DEATH. My point is simply that schools should not ABUSE their position of authority to punish students for something personal. ABUSE OF POWER. THAT IS NOT FAIR PLAY. Geddit?
I'VE GOT A LITTLE LIST
The Boston Globe is running a gallery of their picks for the Top Fifty Science Fiction shows of all time.
As with any lists, it's purely subjective so I don't usually bother with even arguing about inclusions, omissions, and standings.
But even so.....
An anthology show that leaned more toward mystery and horror - 'The Hitch-Hiker' was included, but 'The Prisoner' was not? They picked 'Voyager' to be added in, but not a far superior 'Trek' sequel like 'Deep Space Nine'?
How can they rave about 'The Twilight Zone' as being not only a great sci-fi show, but also as one of the greatest TV shows of all time, and yet it gets no higher perch than #7?
'Doctor Who' just made the Top Ten, but had the new series been available to an American audience (May network executives be nibbled to death by ducks!), I'm sure the TARDIS would have landed even higher. And I know there will be plenty of very angry 'Red Dwarf' fans regarding its lack of any standing.
Granted, I have yet to see more than just the first episode of the new 'Battlestar Galactica' (I couldn't get my head past the killing of the baby by Number Six.), but I can't fathom it being considered the second best of all Time already.
But I do think the Top Twenty posting for 'Lost' was highly warranted.
At least off-beat shows like 'Futurama', 'The Thunderbirds', 'My Favorite Martian', and 'Nowhere Man' were remembered for inclusion. And I'm glad they remembered 'The Wild, Wild West' and 'The Avengers' did delve into science fiction with such themes as miniaturization, for example.
To see the full list, visit:
http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/gallery/topscifishows/
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
As with any lists, it's purely subjective so I don't usually bother with even arguing about inclusions, omissions, and standings.
But even so.....
An anthology show that leaned more toward mystery and horror - 'The Hitch-Hiker' was included, but 'The Prisoner' was not? They picked 'Voyager' to be added in, but not a far superior 'Trek' sequel like 'Deep Space Nine'?
How can they rave about 'The Twilight Zone' as being not only a great sci-fi show, but also as one of the greatest TV shows of all time, and yet it gets no higher perch than #7?
'Doctor Who' just made the Top Ten, but had the new series been available to an American audience (May network executives be nibbled to death by ducks!), I'm sure the TARDIS would have landed even higher. And I know there will be plenty of very angry 'Red Dwarf' fans regarding its lack of any standing.
Granted, I have yet to see more than just the first episode of the new 'Battlestar Galactica' (I couldn't get my head past the killing of the baby by Number Six.), but I can't fathom it being considered the second best of all Time already.
But I do think the Top Twenty posting for 'Lost' was highly warranted.
At least off-beat shows like 'Futurama', 'The Thunderbirds', 'My Favorite Martian', and 'Nowhere Man' were remembered for inclusion. And I'm glad they remembered 'The Wild, Wild West' and 'The Avengers' did delve into science fiction with such themes as miniaturization, for example.
To see the full list, visit:
http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/gallery/topscifishows/
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Monday, September 26, 2005
TIP O' THE HAT SQUAD: "OUR LITTLE BUDDY"
MIKE:
'Gilligan's Island' is on every day at three-thirty...
Whether I watch it or not.
JASON:
What's the point?
MIKE:
Dad, it's not on for me. It's just - on!
'Growing Pains'
'Gilligan's Island' is on every day at three-thirty...
Whether I watch it or not.
JASON:
What's the point?
MIKE:
Dad, it's not on for me. It's just - on!
'Growing Pains'
I was asked as to why I had not acknowledged the passing of Bob Denver yet here at "Inner Toob".
I wanted to wait until today, which marks the anniversary of the debut for his signature show 'Gilligan's Island', because I wanted to make the tribute as special in every way possible.
Say what you will about 'Gilligan's Island'; I may even agree with you on a lot of it.
But taking a page from David Bianculli's book "Tele-Literacy", I want you to try this little experiment.......
Quote (from memory - don't cheat and look it up first!) the "To Be Or Not To Be" soliloquy from "Hamlet".
Now quote the lyrics to the 'Gilligan's Island' theme song.
For good or ill, you can't deny what an impact the show has had on our lives. Right up there with 'Star Trek' and 'The Twilight Zone', 'Gilligan's Island' is a major source of Zonk!s; blasting holes into the integrity of the TV Universe because so many TV shows make reference to it as a TV show.
Luckily, many of these Zonk!s can be splained away, since the actual shipwreck and the eventual rescue of the castaways was major news in Toobworld. It's when they refer to actual episodes of the show, or when TV characters dream of the show, that we get into Zonk!ish trouble.
To me, Gilligan is an icon of Toobworld, a true descendant of the noble tradition of the Fool. Silly, true; but the Fool can also represent situations in our lives and mirror qualities in ourselves. Although I'm no psychologist or sociologist, I think it could be argued that Gilligan does just that.
Dr. Will Miller even wrote a book about conquering personal roadblocks to achieving success and titled it "Killing Your Inner Gilligan"... which just about sums up the role Gilligan played on the island.
(In one of my favorite Zonk!s, Rebecca Howe's father is watching the show for the first time with Norm at the bar 'Cheers'. The retired Navy man was dumbfounded by what he saw, in comparison to Life as he knew it. As far as he was concerned, if only the other castaways had shot Gilligan, they would have been off the island in a week's time.)
Further proof of how much Bob Denver meant to us in the framework of Toobworld lies in the fact that he contributed two major characters of iconic stature who were totally dissimilar from each other.
Many another actor can lay claim to several different characters who proved to be giants in the pantheon of Toobworld citizens. But I think most of those would prove to be just reiterations of what the actors did before. That's the nature of the medium - as Fred Allen said, imitation is the sincerest form of Television. If it worked once, keep doing it.
But besides Gilligan, Denver also gave life to Maynard G. Krebs in 'The Many Loves Of Dobie Gillis'. (The "G." stands for "Walter".)
It's been said that the perfect picture to illustrate the mid-1970s lifestyle would be of John Travolta wearing Tony Manero's white suit in "Saturday Night Fever". I think nothing sums up the Toobworld image of the Beat Generation in the 1950s better than Denver as Maynard.
Bob Denver will be one of the few actors to be represented in the TV Crossover Hall of Fame by two citizens of Toobworld. Gilligan was already inducted years ago, but Maynard will one day join the ranks as well.
In similar fashion to the pervasive effect of Gilligan, Denver's portrayal of Maynard was still felt years later in Toobworld. The undead zombie Lurch, who worked as a butler for 'The Addams Family', also used the same introductory phrase as Maynard: "You rang?".
Working within Toobworld's inner reality, the reasoning could be that in life Lurch had been Maynard's bongo-brother among the Beats. And even though "work" is a four-letter word to Mr. Krebs, this theory works for me.
Here's a rundown of Bob Denver's TV credits, courtesy of the IMDb.com:
TV SERIES
"Twilight Theater" (1982) TV Series .... Various Characters
"Far Out Space Nuts" (1975) TV Series .... Junior
"Dusty's Trail" (1973) TV Series .... Dusty
"The Good Guys" (1968) TV Series .... Rufus Butterworth
"Gilligan's Island" (1964) TV Series .... Willie Gilligan (1964-1967)
Gilligan's Island: Marooned (1964) (TV pilot) .... Gilligan
"The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" (1959) TV Series .... Maynard G. Krebs
TV MOVIES
Bring Me the Head of Dobie Gillis (1988) (TV) .... Maynard G. Krebs
High School U.S.A. (1983) (TV) .... Milton Feld
The Invisible Woman (1983) (TV) .... Dr. Dudley Plunkett
Scamps (1982) (TV) .... Oliver Hopkins
TV GUEST APPEARANCES
"The Simpsons" playing "Himself" (voice) in episode: "Simpson Tide" (episode # 9.19) 29 March 1998
"Meego" playing "Gilligan" in episode: "Mommy 'n' Meego" (episode # 1.7) 1997
"Roseanne" playing "Jackie" in episode: "Sherwood Schwartz--A Loving Tribute" (episode # 7.25) 24 May 1995
"Space Ghost Coast to Coast" playing "Himself" in episode: "Gilligan" (episode # 1.2) 22 April 1994
"Herman's Head" playing "Himself" in episode: "The Herm from Ipanema" (episode # 3.17) 17 February 1994
"Evening Shade" playing "Himself" in episode: "Saint Bobby" (episode # 3.24) 17 May 1993
"Baywatch" playing "Willy Gilligan" in episode: "Now Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale" (episode # 2.16) 24 February 1992
"ALF" playing "Gilligan" in episode: "Somewhere Over the Rerun" (episode # 2.2) 28 September 1987
"The New Gidget" playing "Gilligan" in episode: "Gilligidge Island" 19 September 1987
"Fantasy Island" playing "Tim Kearns" in episode: "Love Island/The Sisters" (episode # 6.22) 14 May 1983
"The Love Boat" playing "Norman Lomax" in episode: "A Dress to Remember" (episode # 5.28) 8 May 1982
"Fantasy Island" playing "Don Winters" in episode: "The Magic Camera/Mata Hari/Valerie" (episode # 5.12) 16 January 1982
"Fantasy Island" playing "Francis Elkins" in episode: "House of Dolls/Wuthering Heights" (episode # 5.11) 9 January 1982
"Fantasy Island" playing "Morris Binstock" in episode: "Eagleman/Children of Mentu" (episode # 3.23) 17 May 1980
"The Love Boat" playing "Jason" in episode: "Disco Baby/Alas, Poor Dwyer/After the War/Ticket to Ride/Itsy Bitsy: Part 2" (episode # 2.19) 3 February 1979
"The Love Boat" playing "Jason" in episode: "Disco Baby/Alas, Poor Dwyer/After the War/Ticket to Ride/Itsy Bitsy: Part 1" (episode # 2.18) 3 February 1979
"Love, American Style" in episode: "Love and the Eat's Cafe" (episode # 5.8b) 9 November 1973
"Love, American Style" in episode: "Love and the Baby Derby" (episode # 4.20a) 16 February 1973
"Love, American Style" in episode: "Love and the Cake" (episode # 2.17a) 22 January 1971
"Love, American Style" playing "Earl" in episode: "Love and the Hitchhiker" (episode # 1.17b) 30 January 1970
"I Dream of Jeannie" playing "Harold" in episode: "My Son the Genie" (episode # 3.13) 12 December 1967
"Make Room for Daddy" playing "Herbie" in episode: "The Persistent Cop" (episode # 11.30) 27 April 1964
"The Andy Griffith Show" playing "Dud Wash" in episode: "Divorce, Mountain Style" (episode # 4.26) 30 March 1964
"The Farmer's Daughter" playing "Lieutenant Tenner" in episode: "An Enterprising Young Man" (episode # 1.4) 11 October 1963
"Dr. Kildare" playing "Dr. Paul Garrett" in episode: "If You Can't Believe the Truth..." (episode # 3.3) 10 October 1963
"Fractured Flickers" playing "Himself" (episode # 1.22)
[This probably should have fallen into the Variety Show category and thus should have been removed from consideration, but the show was such a blast and in a way his appearance would have been somewhat fictional in the "interview" with Hans Conreid, that I wanted to include it.]
THE TOONIVERSE
"The Simpsons" playing "Himself" (voice) in episode: "Simpson Tide" (episode # 9.19) 29 March 1998
"Gilligan's Planet" (1982) TV Series (voice) .... Gilligan
"The New Adventures of Gilligan" (1974) TV Series (voice) .... Willy Gilligan
THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES
"The Simpsons" playing "Himself" (voice) in episode: "Simpson Tide" (episode # 9.19) 29 March 1998
"Space Ghost Coast to Coast" playing "Himself" in episode: "Gilligan" (episode # 1.2) 22 April 1994
[This show was a good example of the inter-action between Toobworld and the Tooniverse. Space Ghost interviewed the live-action Denver from the main TV Universe, even though he could have brought the animated actor right into the studio with him.]
"Herman's Head" playing "Himself" in episode: "The Herm from Ipanema" (episode # 3.17) 17 February 1994
"Evening Shade" playing "Himself" in episode: "Saint Bobby" (episode # 3.24) 17 May 1993
[The high school class was supposed to get John Denver to speak to the school, but through a mix-up, Bob Denver came instead.]
Let's take a closer look at the three main Toobworld characters of Bob Denver......
DUSTY
"Dusty's Trail" (1973) TV Series .... Dusty
The Wackiest Wagon Train in the West (1976) .... Dusty
[This was just a compilation of episodes from the TV series released as a movie.]
'Dusty's Trail' at least makes its mark in Toobworld in that a savage tribe of Indians known as the Shugs harassed the wagon train. The Shugs would also appear in at least one episode of 'F Troop', thus providing a link between the two series.
And since we never learned what Dusty's last name was, why can't we make the claim that it could have been Gilligan? At the very least, based on the nature of both their characters, it could be argued that Gilligan was the reincarnation of Dusty's soul. (Reincarnation being an established concept in the TV Universe.)
MAYNARD G. KREBS
"The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" (1959) TV Series .... Maynard G. Krebs
"Whatever Happened To Dobie Gillis?" (1977) TV series pilot.... Maynard G. Krebs
Bring Me the Head of Dobie Gillis (1988) (TV) .... Maynard G. Krebs
In the 1977 pilot for a proposed revival of the 'Dobie Gillis' series, Dobie (who was now running his father's grocery store) had married Zelda and had a 16 year old son named Georgie. His buddy Maynard had become a successful businessman and Chatsworth Osborne was the town banker.
But ten years later with the TV movie sequel, Georgie (now a different actor, obviously) was still a teen-ager and practically reliving his dad's life in high school. (He's chasing the beautiful, unattainable girl while being pursued himself by a girl he deems plain and average.)
And apparently, Dobie hadn't seen Maynard in twenty years - even though it was only ten years before in which the pilot took place. The fact that Thalia Menninger no longer looked like Tuesday Weld but Connie Stevens instead wouldn't have been a problem: casting changes due to aging are always given a pass.
It's my theory that the TV pilot was the true sequel to the original series and both of those are set on Earth Prime-Time, the main Toobworld.
But "Bring Me The Head Of Dobie Gillis" - and maybe just from that title alone! - is obviously set in the evil mirror universe. (Or perhaps Earth Prime-Time Delay, because of the fact that Georgie Gillis is a teenager ten years later than he is in the main Toobworld.)
The reason Dobie had not seen his beatnik buddy for twenty years was due to Maynard being shipwrecked on a desert island all those years, until he was rescued by Thalia. It's a sign that perhaps Maynard and Gilligan shared a cosmic kinship, even across the dimensional vortex.
GILLIGAN
"Gilligan's Island" (1964) TV Series .... Willie Gilligan (1964-1967)
Rescue from Gilligan's Island (1978) (TV) .... Gilligan
The Castaways on Gilligan's Island (1979) (TV) .... Gilligan
The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island (1981) (TV) .... Gilligan
More than any of the other castaways on the island, Gilligan was a character of the moment; nothing of his past really mattered save that he was first mate to the Skipper. As such, he lends himself easily to the Missing Links concept of Toobworld.
We never did learn much about Gilligan, not even his first name [although Sherwood Schwartz has said that he would have chosen "Willie" had he inserted it into a script early enough]. Of the few facts we have about Gilligan, we know the mighty sailing man was born in Pennsylvania and that his stateside best friend was Skinny Mulligan.
So why couldn't he have been born in 'Grand', Pennsylvania? And maybe his buddy Skinny's first name was Mickey? Mickey would move to New York City with a goal to become a success in Television. ('Hey, Mulligan!')
About five years ago or so, we learned that Gilligan's mother was still alive in a blipvert for the Snickers candy bar. (The premise was that if you're going to be stuck waiting a real long time, you might as well have a Snickers to curb your hunger.)
The way the women were dressed in the commercial suggested "Three Sisters" by Checkov more than it did 'Gilligan's Island', but maybe it was just their dress for mourning. And since the castaways were rescued back in 1978, this commercial might have been just showing us what was happening with Momma Gilligan during the 1970s while he was still missing at sea.
Of Bob Denver's TV appearances as other characters, this one stood out as a possibility for a theoretical link based on tele-genetics:
"The Andy Griffith Show" playing "Dud Wash" in episode: "Divorce, Mountain Style" (episode # 4.26) 30 March 1964
In one of the episodes of 'Gilligan's Island', Gilligan mentioned that he had a brother. So why couldn't it have been a half-brother?
Remember the old joke about the traveling salesman and the farmer with the beautiful daughter? Lots of Toobworld premises are based on old jokes....
So why can't we theorize that Dud Walsh is the son of Gilligan's father? All we know about Mr. Gilligan was that he was short and had a mustache; nothing says that he wasn't a traveling salesman. This way we can imagine him meeting up with Farmer Walsh's daughter in a barn near Mayberry, North Carolina......
As was the case with Maynard G. Krebs, Gilligan existed in several different TV dimensions. We know of his animated version from the Tooniverse who must have been eventually rescued, only to then be blasted into space with the other castaways to fend for themselves on an alien planet.
But in one of the mirror dimensions, perhaps even the evil one, Gilligan and the other six stranded castaways never did make it off the island....
An alien by the name of Meego was attempting to phone home to his maternal unit on Marmazon 4.0 when he accidentally reached Gilligan, the Professor, and Mary Ann, still stranded after 35 years. (And it's quite possible then that this should be the universe in which we find that Snickers commercial.
There's only one problem, however. This episode of 'Meego' ("Mommy 'n' Meego" #1.7) was originally slated to air on November 21st, 1997. But the show was cancelled before it had the chance.
Something tells me that some cable outlet somewhere showed the entire run - such as it was - but I can't verify that. And one of the original tenets for Toobworld is that nothing is officially a part of the TV Universe (no matter which dimension) until it has been broadcast.
So for now, we'll just consider this adventure to be one of those never seen, rather like Pavel Chekov's introduction to Khan Noonian Singh in the 'Star Trek' episode "Space Seed".
But there is yet another incarnation of Gilligan in an alternate dimension, that of Earth Prime-Time Delay......
'The New Gidget' - "Gilligidge Island" (19 September 1987)
This alternate Gidget Lawrence and her family went on a cruise which shipwrecked them on a desert isle. There they met not only Gilligan and the Skipper (the late Alan Hale Jr.), but also the Maytag repairman as played by the late great Jesse White.
This alternate world version of the castaways could lend credence to the proposal that the unaired 'Meego' episode actually took place. And that would mean that we can send the entire series of 'Meego' out of the main Toobworld.
And who would argue with that?
(By the way, the original pilot for 'Gilligan's Island' would also be in an alternate dimension, as the Professor was played by John Gabriel.)
THE DREAM-ZONK!S
There are far too many regular Zonk!s concerning 'Gilligan's Island' to mention here. (The 'Cheers' one listed above was definitely the best.)
But there's a sub-category of Zonk! that should be examined because they often-times involved the original actors from the show. Dream-Zonk!s involve Toobworldlings who dream about 'Gilligan's Island' as a show - and one in which the dreamers often-times inserted themselves to interact with the castaway characters.
Perhaps, in acknowledgement of Bob Denver's widow, we should be calling these "Dreama-Zonk!s". (And I'd just like to o'bserve that "Dreama" is one of the prettiest first names I've seen in some time.)
1] "Herman's Head" playing "Himself" in episode: "The Herm from Ipanema" (episode # 3.17) 17 February 1994
According to the episode description, Herman decides to give it all up during a tropical vacation and buy a local bar on the island. Now, it's quite possible that during all of this he actually met Bob Denver. But considering the show's concept, it could also be that Denver was no more than a figment of Herman's over-active imagination.
He may even have appeared in Herman's head as Gilligan in much the same way 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' got Zonk!ed by the appearance of Buddy Sorrell and Sally Rogers among the other denizens of Herman's mind.
2] "Baywatch" playing "Willy Gilligan" in episode: "Now Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale" (episode # 2.16) 24 February 1992
After watching a marathon of 'Gilligan's Island' reruns instead of working, Eddie slipped and hit his head on the tower ramp which sent him into a dream where all of his lifeguard co-workers became characters on 'Gilligan's Island' with only Gilligan portrayed by the original actor.
3] "ALF" playing "Gilligan" in episode: "Somewhere Over the Rerun" (episode # 2.2) 28 September 1987
After becoming obsessed with 'Gilligan's Island' reruns, the Alien Life Form named Gordon Schumway built his own version of the lagoon. But during a dream in which he found himself stranded with the actual Gilligan, Skipper, Professor, and Mary Ann, "ALF" decided that Reality was better than the idyllic life he imagined from TV.
Don't listen to him! "ALF" was a furball from another planet who ate cats. What does he know?
4] "Roseanne" playing "Jackie" in episode: "Sherwood Schwartz--A Loving Tribute" (episode # 7.25) 24 May 1995
This might possibly be the best of them all, mainly because it involved the elusive Tina Louise, who had sworn off any further connections to her past as Ginger Grant on the show. (She never appeared in any of the sequel TV movies.)
Dan Conner was torn between pleasing his wife and building a boat for a future adventure. He ended up day-dreaming of his life as the Skipper, while Roseanne's boss Leon became Mr. Howell, her Mom became Lovey Howell, while her sister was transformed into Gilligan, and daughter Darlene was Mary Ann.
And Roseanne? Why, she was Ginger, of course!
But the daydream got turned on its head when the actors from 'Gilligan's Island' ended up as the characters from 'Roseanne'.
Russell Johnson - Mark, Roseanne's son-in-law
Dawn Wells - Darlene
Bob Denver returned the "favor" by cross-dressing as Jackie
and Tina Louise became Roseanne.
As an added bonus, the creator of 'Gilligan's Island', Sherwood Schwartz, appeared as himself.
"Life's like a game of marbles.
No matter how pretty yours are,
The other guy's are prettier."
Gilligan
'Gilligan's Island'
BCnU......
Tele-Toby
Sunday, September 25, 2005
DEAR BEEB.....
On the fiftieth anniversary of ITV, I thought I'd write up something about.... the BBC.
Days after the final broadcast for the new 'Doctor Who' over in England, the BBC Online asked its readers for their comments about the show.
I wrote in, but I never saw my response get published. I don't think they wanted it known that somebody in the States had access to the show even though it wasn't being broadcast over here.
But here's what I sent in, submitted for your approval:
Best of all for me has been the supporting roles - from villains like Lady Cassandra to the historical figure of Dickens, fantastic new aliens like Jabe, the Jafress, the Face of Boe and Blon Slitheen.
Sure the aliens made for great visuals and they were all well-acted, but it all came down to the writing. For example, with just one short scene RTD gave us reason to sympathize with the plumber Raffalo in 'The End Of The World'. It's been weeks and I still remember her well.
Worst bit? The loss of Lady Cassandra as a recurring villain would rank up there, from one O'Brien to another.
But I think it was the loss of Gallifrey and the chance to see other Time Lords like Romana or even Susan Foreman again in one incarnation or another. But at the same time, that back history is what gave Eccleston's Doctor his wired energy I think.
And if the Daleks could survive the Time War, I suppose there's always hope for the Gallifreyans.....
BBCnu,
Tele-Toby
Days after the final broadcast for the new 'Doctor Who' over in England, the BBC Online asked its readers for their comments about the show.
I wrote in, but I never saw my response get published. I don't think they wanted it known that somebody in the States had access to the show even though it wasn't being broadcast over here.
But here's what I sent in, submitted for your approval:
Best of all for me has been the supporting roles - from villains like Lady Cassandra to the historical figure of Dickens, fantastic new aliens like Jabe, the Jafress, the Face of Boe and Blon Slitheen.
Sure the aliens made for great visuals and they were all well-acted, but it all came down to the writing. For example, with just one short scene RTD gave us reason to sympathize with the plumber Raffalo in 'The End Of The World'. It's been weeks and I still remember her well.
Worst bit? The loss of Lady Cassandra as a recurring villain would rank up there, from one O'Brien to another.
But I think it was the loss of Gallifrey and the chance to see other Time Lords like Romana or even Susan Foreman again in one incarnation or another. But at the same time, that back history is what gave Eccleston's Doctor his wired energy I think.
And if the Daleks could survive the Time War, I suppose there's always hope for the Gallifreyans.....
BBCnu,
Tele-Toby
3 parties and 1 baby
I've been busy lately, so here are just some photos of the past few days...
I'm really anal about aesthetics, so I made all the photos the same width. That would mean those that are taken upright will be real big. I DON'T CARE! If you don't have unlimited bandwidth you shouldn't be on the internet anyway.
So yes, many many photos. Of 3 parties, 1 KTV session, and one baby visit.
I was like, "Eh, shall just upload these stupid photos and not do much" then I started being extra again and photoshopped stupid graphics and words on the pictures. WHICH IS WHY I ONLY FINISHED AT freaking 5am sharp!! Now!
I know my blog often has pretty girls, but today's photolog got a lot of handsome boys!!
It's raining men! Hallelujah!!
WE REJOICE! Everybody loves a handsome boy! I'm sure handsome boys love themselves too! Oh, what about ugly boys? Er... Whatever. *bimbo shrug*
Maia's debut album launch at DXO
Maia (Lee, of Singapore Idol fame) invited me to attend her album launch at DXO! I knew her a long time ago, actually, when she was still June's sister's singing teacher. =)
Brought Kelvin, Tim, Huifen and Christian along.
She was belting out song after song on the stage but due to my lack of height, I only saw the top of her head.
I had to look at the LCD screen instead... :(
Too bad hor, coz she was dressed very sexily leh! *tiko smile*
Huifen and I
Eileen Wee was there too... Wah lau, that Kelvin sibeh extra!
Now better. Huifen wrestled Kelvin to keep him away.
Eileen and Huifen. ALOYSIUS!!! A-LOY! Marcus wanted me to delete this picture, saying he looks ugly, but I think got the you(4) yu(4) look mah, girls like.
Kel carefully plucked his brows for the occasion. I think he secretly likes Maia.
Who released the siao angmoh?
Why can't Kel take a proper photo?! Tim is very disgusted with you coz he knows that you wank to animal porn. GAY animal porn.
I knew Christian was hitting on Kelvin since the start! I knew it! It's the brows working their magic!
Chris, we know you want to lean your head towards Kelvin. Just go ahead and do it.
[Christian is not gay btw, in case stupid people don't get jokes]
SNAG magazine launch (why so many launches ah?)
Chris was supposed to go with me, but he axed me for some traditional Swedish dinner where he ate crayfish with his family, so I brought Kel along instead.
Speaking of Sweden, it is not to be mistaken with Switzerland. You may already know that, but I made a few timewear and chocolate jokes before Chris politely corrected me.
*blush*
Switzerland=
Swatch,
Damn good chocolates,
Best place to live in the world,
blondes
Sweden=
Richest man in the world cashflow-wise,
Ikea,
meatballs,
lingonberry jam,
Lakerol (Not ricola though!),
blondes
So yes.
Snag's launch had male models prancing around...
Really not handsome leh...
And what is with the Zhong Wu Yan look?!
Anyway the boss of this modelling agency is super handsome lah! I was like drooling, then I asked my friend to introduce him to me, then my friend was like, "He is gay la, stupid!".
Right. Thanks. I knew something was wrong when I saw him patting the "models" on the small of their waists. What is with the world?! Why I see handsome guys then they must be gay leh? I am very angry!
Why last time, you imagine hor, Xiao Long Nu see Yang Guo, then she think very handsome right, then she can just go ahead and duel with him or something then get married and hong chen gun gun sheng si xiang xu already...
People in the past won't have to worry and go ask their girlfriends first, "Hey, is that Yang Guo dude gay ah?". NO SIRE THEY DON'T!
I hate having to first find out whether a guy is gay before I decide to be infatuated with him! Sigh... We girls can't take anything for granted anymore. What is wrong with us girls leh? Breasts not nice meh? I don't believe anyone won't be enticed by breasts. Breasts are so nice. *bimbo shrug*
I have no idea whether it is true that he is gay, so boss-of-this-agency, if you are reading this and you are not gay... Well.. PROVE IT! *puckers up lips*
SNAG clubbing queens!
*Gasp* My secondary school junior is the second girl...
Speaking of RV, you RV people won't believe who came to attend my NP blogging seminar! YES, IT IS LAO LOOK (that's our discipline mistress)! She was very rude, she fell asleep when I was talking! Bah. You would think she might pay a little more attention to her "favourite" student in RV the four years I was in it.
Mrs Look if you are reading this, my pager is still with you! And so are like a million earrings or so. Gimme back hor!
Oh yeah, in case you noticed the little icon of myself lying on top of my URL... I would like to exclaim, "ISN'T IT CUTE?!" I love myself, so from now on no photo will not have me inside! That's so cool!
I got fed up with the smokey photos so I stopped snapping.
Kel and I proceed to...
Ian Loon's birthday party!
Ian is super cool can? His party is at the open-air carpark beside Liang Court, including the ZO card lounge room!
Nice, nice!
Birthday boy and me!
Christian with Ian (they were from Eye for a Guy 2 together!)
I think Uma is very funny! Here we are, in front of many many Zo cards... Photo's a little blur though...
I ditched Kelvin and gang, and went to KTV with Howard, Shan, Jeffy, Jeffy's friend Mich and Christian.
GAY!
Somebody wake Shan up! He fell asleep!
Jeffy doesn't care.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Shan can be quite scary at times. Though we must admit his eyes are really quite gorgeous...
Ewwww
...
WHY CAN'T ASIANS HAVE BLUE-GREEN EYES TOO?! I want leh!
Howard very extra...
Don't you think Shan looks very lovesick in this photo?!
Let me see...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Woah! I knew you were over Denise, Shan. Yeah... but you know, hey, I like you too, but I like being, you know, single...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Stop being so obsessed with me! You're freaking me out mate!
Abbie!!
Went to eat with SY's cousin. Yay! Got nice food and also can SMOOCH my favourite baby!
Babies are so soft... Ah, my face cut off coz... Well, you can't see it since it's cut off, but I was actually staring at Abbie with a maniacal glint in my eyes and it is quite scary.
Actually it is coz I never put make up, then I lazy to photoshop.
Shuyin is a bit siao...
Don't ask me why she go and think this kind of thing...
The lashes look so nice!
Poor baby...
I'm really anal about aesthetics, so I made all the photos the same width. That would mean those that are taken upright will be real big. I DON'T CARE! If you don't have unlimited bandwidth you shouldn't be on the internet anyway.
So yes, many many photos. Of 3 parties, 1 KTV session, and one baby visit.
I was like, "Eh, shall just upload these stupid photos and not do much" then I started being extra again and photoshopped stupid graphics and words on the pictures. WHICH IS WHY I ONLY FINISHED AT freaking 5am sharp!! Now!
I know my blog often has pretty girls, but today's photolog got a lot of handsome boys!!
It's raining men! Hallelujah!!
WE REJOICE! Everybody loves a handsome boy! I'm sure handsome boys love themselves too! Oh, what about ugly boys? Er... Whatever. *bimbo shrug*
Maia (Lee, of Singapore Idol fame) invited me to attend her album launch at DXO! I knew her a long time ago, actually, when she was still June's sister's singing teacher. =)
Brought Kelvin, Tim, Huifen and Christian along.
She was belting out song after song on the stage but due to my lack of height, I only saw the top of her head.
I had to look at the LCD screen instead... :(
Too bad hor, coz she was dressed very sexily leh! *tiko smile*
Huifen and I
Eileen Wee was there too... Wah lau, that Kelvin sibeh extra!
Now better. Huifen wrestled Kelvin to keep him away.
Eileen and Huifen. ALOYSIUS!!! A-LOY! Marcus wanted me to delete this picture, saying he looks ugly, but I think got the you(4) yu(4) look mah, girls like.
Kel carefully plucked his brows for the occasion. I think he secretly likes Maia.
Who released the siao angmoh?
Why can't Kel take a proper photo?! Tim is very disgusted with you coz he knows that you wank to animal porn. GAY animal porn.
I knew Christian was hitting on Kelvin since the start! I knew it! It's the brows working their magic!
Chris, we know you want to lean your head towards Kelvin. Just go ahead and do it.
[Christian is not gay btw, in case stupid people don't get jokes]
Chris was supposed to go with me, but he axed me for some traditional Swedish dinner where he ate crayfish with his family, so I brought Kel along instead.
Speaking of Sweden, it is not to be mistaken with Switzerland. You may already know that, but I made a few timewear and chocolate jokes before Chris politely corrected me.
*blush*
Switzerland=
Swatch,
Damn good chocolates,
Best place to live in the world,
blondes
Sweden=
Richest man in the world cashflow-wise,
Ikea,
meatballs,
lingonberry jam,
Lakerol (Not ricola though!),
blondes
So yes.
Snag's launch had male models prancing around...
Really not handsome leh...
And what is with the Zhong Wu Yan look?!
Anyway the boss of this modelling agency is super handsome lah! I was like drooling, then I asked my friend to introduce him to me, then my friend was like, "He is gay la, stupid!".
Right. Thanks. I knew something was wrong when I saw him patting the "models" on the small of their waists. What is with the world?! Why I see handsome guys then they must be gay leh? I am very angry!
Why last time, you imagine hor, Xiao Long Nu see Yang Guo, then she think very handsome right, then she can just go ahead and duel with him or something then get married and hong chen gun gun sheng si xiang xu already...
People in the past won't have to worry and go ask their girlfriends first, "Hey, is that Yang Guo dude gay ah?". NO SIRE THEY DON'T!
I hate having to first find out whether a guy is gay before I decide to be infatuated with him! Sigh... We girls can't take anything for granted anymore. What is wrong with us girls leh? Breasts not nice meh? I don't believe anyone won't be enticed by breasts. Breasts are so nice. *bimbo shrug*
I have no idea whether it is true that he is gay, so boss-of-this-agency, if you are reading this and you are not gay... Well.. PROVE IT! *puckers up lips*
SNAG clubbing queens!
*Gasp* My secondary school junior is the second girl...
Speaking of RV, you RV people won't believe who came to attend my NP blogging seminar! YES, IT IS LAO LOOK (that's our discipline mistress)! She was very rude, she fell asleep when I was talking! Bah. You would think she might pay a little more attention to her "favourite" student in RV the four years I was in it.
Mrs Look if you are reading this, my pager is still with you! And so are like a million earrings or so. Gimme back hor!
Oh yeah, in case you noticed the little icon of myself lying on top of my URL... I would like to exclaim, "ISN'T IT CUTE?!" I love myself, so from now on no photo will not have me inside! That's so cool!
I got fed up with the smokey photos so I stopped snapping.
Kel and I proceed to...
Ian is super cool can? His party is at the open-air carpark beside Liang Court, including the ZO card lounge room!
Nice, nice!
Birthday boy and me!
Christian with Ian (they were from Eye for a Guy 2 together!)
I think Uma is very funny! Here we are, in front of many many Zo cards... Photo's a little blur though...
I ditched Kelvin and gang, and went to KTV with Howard, Shan, Jeffy, Jeffy's friend Mich and Christian.
GAY!
Somebody wake Shan up! He fell asleep!
Jeffy doesn't care.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Shan can be quite scary at times. Though we must admit his eyes are really quite gorgeous...
Ewwww
...
WHY CAN'T ASIANS HAVE BLUE-GREEN EYES TOO?! I want leh!
Howard very extra...
Don't you think Shan looks very lovesick in this photo?!
Let me see...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Woah! I knew you were over Denise, Shan. Yeah... but you know, hey, I like you too, but I like being, you know, single...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Stop being so obsessed with me! You're freaking me out mate!
Went to eat with SY's cousin. Yay! Got nice food and also can SMOOCH my favourite baby!
Babies are so soft... Ah, my face cut off coz... Well, you can't see it since it's cut off, but I was actually staring at Abbie with a maniacal glint in my eyes and it is quite scary.
Actually it is coz I never put make up, then I lazy to photoshop.
Shuyin is a bit siao...
Don't ask me why she go and think this kind of thing...
The lashes look so nice!
Poor baby...
Saturday, September 24, 2005
O'BSERVATIONS: THE AXIS OF E.B.E.-VIL
Strange lights are seen in the sky, and in the days following there are reports of mysterious life-forms in the water.
In a way, that one line description could be applied to all three of the new spooky shows on the major networks - ABC's 'Invasion', 'Threshold' on CBS, and the NBC drama formerly known as 'Fathom', 'Surface'.
(It looks like 'Lost' was the inspiration for the influx of moody suspense dramas, although it doesn't have the alien angle - at least as far as the producers are claiming. And it may have inspired the use of one-word series titles as well, with 'Supernatural' on the WB and the FOX show 'Bones' - which I would have called 'Dem Bones' just for a lark.)
After that initial premise, however, the shows go off in their own directions.
On 'Threshold', it was probably the glowing 4-dimensional spaceship that went into the water, after infecting Navy personnel with a mutation caused by harsh harmonics.
In a similar fashion, alien entities entered the Everglades under the cover of a hurricane. But just like in 'Threshold', humans are either being replaced or inhabited or manipulated to serve the architects of this 'Invasion'.
As for the menace in 'Surface', what it is ain't exactly clear as the song goes. Could it just be some new kind of aquatic life brought forth from the ocean depths via that network of craters? Did they arrive from outer space? Or are they rapidly evolving mutations due to the radiation from the meteor showers?
Whatever the 'Surface' mystery, it does show that the potential threat is not as localized as in the other two shows. ('Invasion' takes place in Homestead, Florida. The aliens of 'Threshold' obviously knew what they were doing when they initiated first contact for their conquest within easy reach of the nation's capital.) In its first hour alone, 'Surface' ran the gamut from A to B (Antarctica to Belize), with stops in North Carolina, California, and Louisiana - as if those folks didn't have enough trouble from Katrina and its waves.
Whatever its strange lifeforms may be, whether home-grown or extra-terrestrial, the creatures of 'Surface' come in a variety of shapes and sizes. AS David Bianculli describes them in the New York Daily News, they "range in size from leviathan to pint-size, and some are amphibian in nature, venturing onto dry land."
Paging Steve Zissou! [This would be the perfect opportunity to give Bill Murray's character a tele-version!]
So after a similar initial premise, all three new series are venturing off to explore the storyline tangents that will differentiate them from each other.
But this is Toobworld, and in this TV Universe 'Threshold', 'Invasion', 'Surface' should all be taking place at the same time.
So could it be that we can make a theoretical case for them to all be linked together despite their differences?
I think so. But then I would, wouldn't I? (Cripes, I wouldn't have typed this much otherwise!)
'Threshold' aired first, and as such its close encounter could be seen as the opening salvo of the 'Invasion'; while the next waves would be more subtle, just under the 'Surface' of general notice. (As an alien/human hybrid I know would say "T'hee!")
Major differences between the shows will eventually make it nearly impossible to reconcile future plotlines for linkage. But that's... okay, because I think it's only the initial "Spearhead From Space" that will matter for this purpose.
I think the reason why three such similar shows are veering off into distinct permutations of their premise is because they are all separate alien species. But their common arrival on Earth was due to an alliance between those species; pooling their resources and their technology to make the interstellar voyage to Earth. Once they got here, of course, all bets were off (no matter how many quatloos you doubled down) and it was every ET-equivalent man for itself.
We certainly have the precedent for such an alliance right here on Earth. Had the Axis powers of Germany, Italy, and Japan eventually emerged victorious, they would have probably turned against each other to gain total world domination.
Should these alien species ever cross over to each other's series, which as we know is highly unlikely, we would probably see these ETs not only cross paths but also cross swords. Figuratively, that is.
But since I'm only concerned with their initial arrivals, and that's already a page right out of History, I feel confident in declaring this missing link to be a valid theory.
Now alls we need is for Fox "Spooky" Mulder to get called in for a consult.
That and the materialization of a blue Police Box in the middle of the Everglades!
[For my sister's sake, Mulder better be wearing Speedos at some point if he shows up on (or beneath the) 'Surface'!]
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Addendum: I've just finished watching my tape of last night's episode of 'Threshold' ("Blood Of The Children"). And the possibility was raised that the 4-D "spaceship" might have also mutated the Life Aquatic. So the door is still open for us to assume a possible link between at least 'Threshold' and 'Surface'.
In a way, that one line description could be applied to all three of the new spooky shows on the major networks - ABC's 'Invasion', 'Threshold' on CBS, and the NBC drama formerly known as 'Fathom', 'Surface'.
(It looks like 'Lost' was the inspiration for the influx of moody suspense dramas, although it doesn't have the alien angle - at least as far as the producers are claiming. And it may have inspired the use of one-word series titles as well, with 'Supernatural' on the WB and the FOX show 'Bones' - which I would have called 'Dem Bones' just for a lark.)
After that initial premise, however, the shows go off in their own directions.
On 'Threshold', it was probably the glowing 4-dimensional spaceship that went into the water, after infecting Navy personnel with a mutation caused by harsh harmonics.
In a similar fashion, alien entities entered the Everglades under the cover of a hurricane. But just like in 'Threshold', humans are either being replaced or inhabited or manipulated to serve the architects of this 'Invasion'.
As for the menace in 'Surface', what it is ain't exactly clear as the song goes. Could it just be some new kind of aquatic life brought forth from the ocean depths via that network of craters? Did they arrive from outer space? Or are they rapidly evolving mutations due to the radiation from the meteor showers?
Whatever the 'Surface' mystery, it does show that the potential threat is not as localized as in the other two shows. ('Invasion' takes place in Homestead, Florida. The aliens of 'Threshold' obviously knew what they were doing when they initiated first contact for their conquest within easy reach of the nation's capital.) In its first hour alone, 'Surface' ran the gamut from A to B (Antarctica to Belize), with stops in North Carolina, California, and Louisiana - as if those folks didn't have enough trouble from Katrina and its waves.
Whatever its strange lifeforms may be, whether home-grown or extra-terrestrial, the creatures of 'Surface' come in a variety of shapes and sizes. AS David Bianculli describes them in the New York Daily News, they "range in size from leviathan to pint-size, and some are amphibian in nature, venturing onto dry land."
Paging Steve Zissou! [This would be the perfect opportunity to give Bill Murray's character a tele-version!]
So after a similar initial premise, all three new series are venturing off to explore the storyline tangents that will differentiate them from each other.
But this is Toobworld, and in this TV Universe 'Threshold', 'Invasion', 'Surface' should all be taking place at the same time.
So could it be that we can make a theoretical case for them to all be linked together despite their differences?
I think so. But then I would, wouldn't I? (Cripes, I wouldn't have typed this much otherwise!)
'Threshold' aired first, and as such its close encounter could be seen as the opening salvo of the 'Invasion'; while the next waves would be more subtle, just under the 'Surface' of general notice. (As an alien/human hybrid I know would say "T'hee!")
Major differences between the shows will eventually make it nearly impossible to reconcile future plotlines for linkage. But that's... okay, because I think it's only the initial "Spearhead From Space" that will matter for this purpose.
I think the reason why three such similar shows are veering off into distinct permutations of their premise is because they are all separate alien species. But their common arrival on Earth was due to an alliance between those species; pooling their resources and their technology to make the interstellar voyage to Earth. Once they got here, of course, all bets were off (no matter how many quatloos you doubled down) and it was every ET-equivalent man for itself.
We certainly have the precedent for such an alliance right here on Earth. Had the Axis powers of Germany, Italy, and Japan eventually emerged victorious, they would have probably turned against each other to gain total world domination.
Should these alien species ever cross over to each other's series, which as we know is highly unlikely, we would probably see these ETs not only cross paths but also cross swords. Figuratively, that is.
But since I'm only concerned with their initial arrivals, and that's already a page right out of History, I feel confident in declaring this missing link to be a valid theory.
Now alls we need is for Fox "Spooky" Mulder to get called in for a consult.
That and the materialization of a blue Police Box in the middle of the Everglades!
[For my sister's sake, Mulder better be wearing Speedos at some point if he shows up on (or beneath the) 'Surface'!]
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Addendum: I've just finished watching my tape of last night's episode of 'Threshold' ("Blood Of The Children"). And the possibility was raised that the 4-D "spaceship" might have also mutated the Life Aquatic. So the door is still open for us to assume a possible link between at least 'Threshold' and 'Surface'.
"Don't think you can form an empathic bond with it
Just because you fed the beastie.
It doesn't see you as its friend, Dr. Ramsey; it sees you as a meal.
Well... in your case, as a light snack before nappies.
Just because you fed the beastie.
It doesn't see you as its friend, Dr. Ramsey; it sees you as a meal.
Well... in your case, as a light snack before nappies.
Now then! I fancy a ride in one of those air-boats, Sheriff."
The Tenth Doctor
The Tenth Doctor
'Threshold'/'Surface'/'Invasion'/'Doctor Who'
"The Crossover Special"
(Not really, but I can dream, can't I?)
(Not really, but I can dream, can't I?)
Friday, September 23, 2005
My make up secrets revealed!
Every 3 days or so someone will email me to ask me how I do my make up (and believe it or not, it includes GUYS - or drag queens, to be more specific). I am not trying to be hao lian or whatever! It's the truth.
How to do the smoky eyes? How come eyelashes can look so long leh? What foundation makes your skin glow?
Today, I shall unveil the mystery once and for all.
Of course, the guys already know this post will bore them to death - unless their interest is to look at multiple pictures of me .... which everyone likes to, because I am shoooo pwetty. :D
I shall say first ah... I am not trying to TEACH anyone make up here. It may not be the correct ways to apply make up (if there is such a thing as a correct way); it is just MY way of putting make up on, because you girls (and gay boys) wanted to know.
But of course, my make up skills are superb, as is everything I do that is artistic (painting, drawing, photoshop etc, all are superb, ok? Because I am mega talented). I've taken some courses, but I have come to realise that everyone's faces, flaws, and good points are all different, so fuck those courses.
You just have to experiment yourself and see what kind of make up suits you. Some people (like Shuyin) look quite scary with smoky eyes. I look terrible with light make-up. Cloudy can't put make up because his face is hairy. Whatever floats your boat! Or rocks your socks! Or or or... Can't think of anymore lah! Let's start.
Here's how to get MY LOOK, if you are confident it will work for you:
Laugh all you want, ok? I will SOON be beautiful. So what if my hair is tied up in Chun-li buns now? When I let it down, it will so gorgeous, it will be the singular thing that engulfs your sweet vision before you faint from the beauty of it all.
So yes. Step one is to wash your face. Oh and btw, I still have like 3 pieces of my eyelash extensions left, as you can see. They look pathetic. Never we mind that now, mascara can always save the day later.
I use Za's two-way cake foundation. I've been using it since I was in secondary one, so yes, it is terribly good, and I know Chanel's or whatever atas brand's might be better, but considering a trade-off for money ... ZA's pretty good!
Wet the sponge thoroughly, and apply the powder all over your face. Remember never to apply against the grain... Do it in the direction your facial hair grows. If you don't have facial hair, then you are a freak and stop reading my blog.
Make sure the powder is even, and apply your neck as well. If you blot your face when it is excessively oily and all, the powder should be able to last a whole day. :) I apply a generous amount. My style is always to be sparing with everything - same for cooking, for painting, for talking.
Subtlety? Hell, no! If you are the sort who likes light make up, you can stop reading this entry now. :) Light make up? Sorry, I cannot even see it, so what's the point? Might as well save money and not put anything.
I like my makeup noticable, and making a DIFFERENCE to how I look.
Bloody shu nus.
Foundation is not enough for coverage: For flawless skin check out Inovi's Perfector! Sibeh fucking good coverage for pimples or scars (I have scars coz last time my pimples damn jia lat).
It is not cheap, but it is super good. Eh, I think Fiona Xie uses this one too.
Oh yeah I apply my foundation over my lips too. That's coz the outer lining of my lips are somewhat darker, and that is just gross. Oh well. The foundation covers that.
Next: Eyeshadow.
Start with a light-coloured, shimmery eye shadow all over your entire eye area. White or light gold will do.
Yes, even lining the bottom of your eyes. I usually extend mine to the interior rim of the eye too, as you can see.
Choose a blending colour that matches your outfit for the day. In this case, I just picked pink. This colour should be darker than the previous colour, and also able to mix with it well.
(My nails are by Voxy, in case you wanted to know)
Like this!
Blend!
Yes I know the foundation looks patchy... I didn't spread it evenly. What! Cannot meh?
The next step is important... Because now we move on to the smoky eyeshadow! In dark brown. =)
Apply the brown and BLEND BLEND BLEND it into the pink. Apply it over the whole of your eye's sockets.
And underneath your eyes as well, with an applicator. Remember that if you want dark eyeshadows you just cannot be a scrooge on the moolah. Yi fen qian yi fen huo (1 cent for one part of the goods, loosely translated), so the cheap eyeshadows will only be not dark enough and cannot be seen properly.
Also see above, my take on light make-up.
Notice also, that at the bottom of the eyes the pink is at the inside, while the brown is outside. I know the shadow looks rather awful like that, but relax, haven't finish what...
Because MASCARA is coming up!
Before applying mascara, curl your lashes. People always ask me if they should curl before or after mascara. What a silly question! DO BOTH LAH, when in doubt!!!
If you don't know how to curl your lashes, half close your eyes, and put the curler as close to your flesh as possible, without hurting you. Push down as hard as you can, for a whole 30 seconds.
Magazines tell us bullshit like curling different parts of your lashes so that the curl is gradual and not an abrupt 90 degrees angle.
I say screw that. I'm not a fucking eurasian model with ridiculously long lashes. I'm Chinese, dammit! We Chinese usually do not have long lashes, so I'll have it 90 degrees if I want - as long as it can be seen.
Loreal's double-ended mascara is really good for a cheap buy, so GO FUCKING BUY IT! It is really good. I think my lashes' length increased by like ... 40%? after applying it.
And don't be stupid - buy Black, because it is the most clearly visible. Brown's for pussies and shu nus.
First put the white fibres on. Be generous, VERY generous. Apply the mascara in a zic-zac fashion, till your whole lash almost turns white.
Done? Cool. Now put the black. Do the same thing. If you get a fright from how thick and dark it is, that's about right. Don't care about silly things like clumps. Clump then clump lar, makes the lashes even clearer.
Do not curl lashes for at least 15 minutes, because the mascara is still wet and will stick to your curler.
Done with eyes:
Now apply blusher. Smile while applying, and put the pink on the apple of the cheeks. I don't like any other colour than pink. Orange blusher is the worst. It is circa 1972! Throw it away at once if you have it, you disgusting loser!
I forgot about the eyebrows... Draw front parts with applicator and brown eyeshadow, and define ends with eyebrow pencil (lightly). A little secret tip for girls with flat noses: Put a little brown at the top of the nose bridge - will make your eyes look more deep set!
Don't worry about your nose being flat. Savior of flat noses, Fann Wong, have shown us that having a flat nose is fine, as long as it is small.
So DO NOT, despite other people's advice otherwide, go and do stupid things like shade the sides of your nose with brown, and brush a line of white powder down the bridge.
NEVER EVER DO THAT. Don't.
Unless you want to look like that.
It will only serve to make your nose look huge and bulbous.
Speaking of which, I FUCKING HATE MAKE UP ARTISTS WHO DO THAT. Do they seriously think it looks nice?! That kind of make up is so old-fashioned! Yuck, I hate it! Gets me angry!
If your nose is not nice, the best is to make it as inconspicuous as possible.
I suddenly have a nose bridge! =) And we are almost done.
Here's another make up secret, so you silly girls better be nicer to me!
Apply brown shadow (with a blusher brush) to the side of your face to create a hollow in your cheeks, as well as underneath your jawline to make it look more defined. Nice ah? Machiam model sia...
Cool not? If you do it in moderation and blend it well, you can be pleasantly surprised when your friends comment that you got thinner! :D Sigh, I shouldn't be letting out secrets like these...
We are only left with the lips now... I like to use matte, light colours on lips. One thing about matte lipsticks - don't spread it on your lips because it is very dry and will be too thick and pasty. Instead, PAT the lipstick on your lips.
At the interior of the lip, I add a rouge shade of gloss... I take out the hair buns, and tadah!!!
Nicely made up and ready to go out! :)
So chio must take more photos...
:D Good hair day!
Eyes so much bigger... And I glow too! (I forgot to add I put a bit of blusher on my nose tip too to make it look sun-kissed)
You want to do this too? Here are a list of your tools, if you care to purchase them. Eh, this is not an advertorial ah, these are the real make up products I use... They may not be the best make up, but they are mostly quite cheap (or value for money), which is good enough for me!
I've highlighted the MUST-HAVES with stars, because these are the fucking good products.
Also note that some make-up thingys can be cheap, and some HAVE to be expensive. Powder better be a respectable brand because it is on your skin, eyeshadows suck when they are cheap, and cheap lipsticks STAIN YOUR LIPS (this is serious, so only use reputable lipsticks, and remember to put lip balm first as a protective shield).
I believe, however, that blushers, eyeliners, and eyebrow pencils are ok to have them economical. =) My eyeliner is a $3 liquid one from Aries, and it works wonders, though I didn't take a picture of it.
Get that perfect curler from Guardian at only $3 plus! Don't get tricked to buy the Manicure one for that ridiculous price, it is the in-house Guardian one which is good.. You can identify it by the spring it has. Inovi's perfector can be found in Sasa, and though it is not cheap, it lasts for YEARS.
This about sums it all! Any more questions, you can email me, though I must say, I might not reply it. =)
p/s: To the some of you, especially the blind men, don't gimme that bullshit comment about how I look better without make up. Dont gimme that shit about "natural is beauty". Please read this.
And also, don't give me advice on how I should apply my make-up. I'm supposed to be the one teaching here, dammit! Trust me, I've tried everything and I think I know my face a little better than you do. I like my make-up the way it is. Unless you have more experience than me on applying make-up on MY face, then we talk. :)
After all, this blog entry is not about How to Apply Make Up. It is how to GET MY MAKE-UP.
If you do try, go take some photos, write it on your blog, and trackback to this entry! :D So fun.
Good luck!
How to do the smoky eyes? How come eyelashes can look so long leh? What foundation makes your skin glow?
Today, I shall unveil the mystery once and for all.
Of course, the guys already know this post will bore them to death - unless their interest is to look at multiple pictures of me .... which everyone likes to, because I am shoooo pwetty. :D
I shall say first ah... I am not trying to TEACH anyone make up here. It may not be the correct ways to apply make up (if there is such a thing as a correct way); it is just MY way of putting make up on, because you girls (and gay boys) wanted to know.
But of course, my make up skills are superb, as is everything I do that is artistic (painting, drawing, photoshop etc, all are superb, ok? Because I am mega talented). I've taken some courses, but I have come to realise that everyone's faces, flaws, and good points are all different, so fuck those courses.
You just have to experiment yourself and see what kind of make up suits you. Some people (like Shuyin) look quite scary with smoky eyes. I look terrible with light make-up. Cloudy can't put make up because his face is hairy. Whatever floats your boat! Or rocks your socks! Or or or... Can't think of anymore lah! Let's start.
Here's how to get MY LOOK, if you are confident it will work for you:
Laugh all you want, ok? I will SOON be beautiful. So what if my hair is tied up in Chun-li buns now? When I let it down, it will so gorgeous, it will be the singular thing that engulfs your sweet vision before you faint from the beauty of it all.
So yes. Step one is to wash your face. Oh and btw, I still have like 3 pieces of my eyelash extensions left, as you can see. They look pathetic. Never we mind that now, mascara can always save the day later.
I use Za's two-way cake foundation. I've been using it since I was in secondary one, so yes, it is terribly good, and I know Chanel's or whatever atas brand's might be better, but considering a trade-off for money ... ZA's pretty good!
Wet the sponge thoroughly, and apply the powder all over your face. Remember never to apply against the grain... Do it in the direction your facial hair grows. If you don't have facial hair, then you are a freak and stop reading my blog.
Make sure the powder is even, and apply your neck as well. If you blot your face when it is excessively oily and all, the powder should be able to last a whole day. :) I apply a generous amount. My style is always to be sparing with everything - same for cooking, for painting, for talking.
Subtlety? Hell, no! If you are the sort who likes light make up, you can stop reading this entry now. :) Light make up? Sorry, I cannot even see it, so what's the point? Might as well save money and not put anything.
I like my makeup noticable, and making a DIFFERENCE to how I look.
Bloody shu nus.
Foundation is not enough for coverage: For flawless skin check out Inovi's Perfector! Sibeh fucking good coverage for pimples or scars (I have scars coz last time my pimples damn jia lat).
It is not cheap, but it is super good. Eh, I think Fiona Xie uses this one too.
Oh yeah I apply my foundation over my lips too. That's coz the outer lining of my lips are somewhat darker, and that is just gross. Oh well. The foundation covers that.
Next: Eyeshadow.
Start with a light-coloured, shimmery eye shadow all over your entire eye area. White or light gold will do.
Yes, even lining the bottom of your eyes. I usually extend mine to the interior rim of the eye too, as you can see.
Choose a blending colour that matches your outfit for the day. In this case, I just picked pink. This colour should be darker than the previous colour, and also able to mix with it well.
(My nails are by Voxy, in case you wanted to know)
Like this!
Blend!
Yes I know the foundation looks patchy... I didn't spread it evenly. What! Cannot meh?
The next step is important... Because now we move on to the smoky eyeshadow! In dark brown. =)
Apply the brown and BLEND BLEND BLEND it into the pink. Apply it over the whole of your eye's sockets.
And underneath your eyes as well, with an applicator. Remember that if you want dark eyeshadows you just cannot be a scrooge on the moolah. Yi fen qian yi fen huo (1 cent for one part of the goods, loosely translated), so the cheap eyeshadows will only be not dark enough and cannot be seen properly.
Also see above, my take on light make-up.
Notice also, that at the bottom of the eyes the pink is at the inside, while the brown is outside. I know the shadow looks rather awful like that, but relax, haven't finish what...
Because MASCARA is coming up!
Before applying mascara, curl your lashes. People always ask me if they should curl before or after mascara. What a silly question! DO BOTH LAH, when in doubt!!!
If you don't know how to curl your lashes, half close your eyes, and put the curler as close to your flesh as possible, without hurting you. Push down as hard as you can, for a whole 30 seconds.
Magazines tell us bullshit like curling different parts of your lashes so that the curl is gradual and not an abrupt 90 degrees angle.
I say screw that. I'm not a fucking eurasian model with ridiculously long lashes. I'm Chinese, dammit! We Chinese usually do not have long lashes, so I'll have it 90 degrees if I want - as long as it can be seen.
Loreal's double-ended mascara is really good for a cheap buy, so GO FUCKING BUY IT! It is really good. I think my lashes' length increased by like ... 40%? after applying it.
And don't be stupid - buy Black, because it is the most clearly visible. Brown's for pussies and shu nus.
First put the white fibres on. Be generous, VERY generous. Apply the mascara in a zic-zac fashion, till your whole lash almost turns white.
Done? Cool. Now put the black. Do the same thing. If you get a fright from how thick and dark it is, that's about right. Don't care about silly things like clumps. Clump then clump lar, makes the lashes even clearer.
Do not curl lashes for at least 15 minutes, because the mascara is still wet and will stick to your curler.
Done with eyes:
Now apply blusher. Smile while applying, and put the pink on the apple of the cheeks. I don't like any other colour than pink. Orange blusher is the worst. It is circa 1972! Throw it away at once if you have it, you disgusting loser!
I forgot about the eyebrows... Draw front parts with applicator and brown eyeshadow, and define ends with eyebrow pencil (lightly). A little secret tip for girls with flat noses: Put a little brown at the top of the nose bridge - will make your eyes look more deep set!
Don't worry about your nose being flat. Savior of flat noses, Fann Wong, have shown us that having a flat nose is fine, as long as it is small.
So DO NOT, despite other people's advice otherwide, go and do stupid things like shade the sides of your nose with brown, and brush a line of white powder down the bridge.
NEVER EVER DO THAT. Don't.
Unless you want to look like that.
It will only serve to make your nose look huge and bulbous.
Speaking of which, I FUCKING HATE MAKE UP ARTISTS WHO DO THAT. Do they seriously think it looks nice?! That kind of make up is so old-fashioned! Yuck, I hate it! Gets me angry!
If your nose is not nice, the best is to make it as inconspicuous as possible.
I suddenly have a nose bridge! =) And we are almost done.
Here's another make up secret, so you silly girls better be nicer to me!
Apply brown shadow (with a blusher brush) to the side of your face to create a hollow in your cheeks, as well as underneath your jawline to make it look more defined. Nice ah? Machiam model sia...
Cool not? If you do it in moderation and blend it well, you can be pleasantly surprised when your friends comment that you got thinner! :D Sigh, I shouldn't be letting out secrets like these...
We are only left with the lips now... I like to use matte, light colours on lips. One thing about matte lipsticks - don't spread it on your lips because it is very dry and will be too thick and pasty. Instead, PAT the lipstick on your lips.
At the interior of the lip, I add a rouge shade of gloss... I take out the hair buns, and tadah!!!
Nicely made up and ready to go out! :)
So chio must take more photos...
:D Good hair day!
Eyes so much bigger... And I glow too! (I forgot to add I put a bit of blusher on my nose tip too to make it look sun-kissed)
You want to do this too? Here are a list of your tools, if you care to purchase them. Eh, this is not an advertorial ah, these are the real make up products I use... They may not be the best make up, but they are mostly quite cheap (or value for money), which is good enough for me!
I've highlighted the MUST-HAVES with stars, because these are the fucking good products.
Also note that some make-up thingys can be cheap, and some HAVE to be expensive. Powder better be a respectable brand because it is on your skin, eyeshadows suck when they are cheap, and cheap lipsticks STAIN YOUR LIPS (this is serious, so only use reputable lipsticks, and remember to put lip balm first as a protective shield).
I believe, however, that blushers, eyeliners, and eyebrow pencils are ok to have them economical. =) My eyeliner is a $3 liquid one from Aries, and it works wonders, though I didn't take a picture of it.
Get that perfect curler from Guardian at only $3 plus! Don't get tricked to buy the Manicure one for that ridiculous price, it is the in-house Guardian one which is good.. You can identify it by the spring it has. Inovi's perfector can be found in Sasa, and though it is not cheap, it lasts for YEARS.
This about sums it all! Any more questions, you can email me, though I must say, I might not reply it. =)
p/s: To the some of you, especially the blind men, don't gimme that bullshit comment about how I look better without make up. Dont gimme that shit about "natural is beauty". Please read this.
And also, don't give me advice on how I should apply my make-up. I'm supposed to be the one teaching here, dammit! Trust me, I've tried everything and I think I know my face a little better than you do. I like my make-up the way it is. Unless you have more experience than me on applying make-up on MY face, then we talk. :)
After all, this blog entry is not about How to Apply Make Up. It is how to GET MY MAKE-UP.
If you do try, go take some photos, write it on your blog, and trackback to this entry! :D So fun.
Good luck!
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