Monday, March 29, 2010

Ricky Martin Is...........GAY!

SHOCKER!!!

Just today, Ricky Martin publicly announced that he is in fact a HOMOSEXUAL. Although many have known the day would come when this spicy Puerto Rican would announce his sexuality, none have speculated that it would be this soon. Mr. Martin has told the press that this announcement has liberated him, and that he can now fully be himself. Even though this sounds great and all, I personally think Ricky Martin's decision to come out of the closet was completely selfish and unacceptable. I know it sounds wrong for me to say that, but let me explain myself before you deem me a homophobic. Knowing that Ricky is openly gay I cannot blare "Living La Vida Loca" from my 05' Honda Element, nor can I listen to the incredibly funny (and Asian) William Hung. However, the worst part about this whole thing is that I can no longer run around in Ricky inspired leather pants and salsa dance without being called a "queer". My life has forever changed all because Ricky Martin wanted to live a happy life? It is just flat out unfair! Thanks a lot Rick.


Signing off (on most likely the worst day of my LIFE),
John Schultz

Ok, but seriously, I better not get called "gay" when I wear my leather pants.

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